*A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry. One of my betas had a computer virus, lost the chapter, I had to resubmit it, blah, blah, blah. The point is, we are here now. :-)

Thank you for all the reviews, alerts, & all CAP "yes's" to my last chapter. I received way more than the seven I asked for, so thanks for that. Now if only you guys would do that for every chapter...

I also wanted to remind everyone that this story is 'M,' so if you stumbled onto my M rated story by mistake (haha, yeah right), then you should probably hit the little red 'X' at the corner of your screen because...well, you figure out why.

Chapter Summary: Bella's "easy" way out of being with Jacob leaves her with more just longing in her heart. A late night rendezvous takes a drastic turn that neither expected and both parties involved take steps to keep their feelings restrained from one another. Jacob's fantasies become a reality and Bella's former fixation with her vampire ex loses ground the closer she gets to Jacob, but is it really what she needs right now?

*Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but the way that Taylor & Jacob touch me…I'll just say that it makes me see stars. Like these *****

Chapter XII Title: 'Control,' by Radford

I was hurrying to put on my dress when Charlie called up to me and I had almost decided to rush to put on makeup as well, but then I realized that this wasn't like a real date for me. I didn't want it to feel like a real date or treat it as one either.

I settled for a simple blue spring dress and matching blue flats. Nothing special. I started to wear flip flops, but I knew I would break an ankle if I did. Flats covered my feet the best and helped maintain the flat surface that I so desperately needed to keep walking without much embarrassment.

Tyler drove up in a Nissan Sentra. I was slowly becoming aware of just how many different cars were around for the boys of Forks to drive around in.

Tyler had chosen to take me to dinner, at an Italian restaurant. I was almost impressed since I loved Italian food, but then Tyler ordered for me and ordered pizza. Who went to an Italian restaurant to order just pizza? It seemed "off" to me.

We talked about nothing in particular. Tyler was a good sport, until he attempted to play footsie with me under the table. Seriously, who still does that? At least, who did it when one party was clearly not interested?

Maybe I had been too polite in the past. I hated to ruffle feathers and I really did want to keep a few of the friend that I had made in Forks. I reminded myself of that piece of information every time Tyler's foot rubbed mine. Well, at least I hadn't been blushing when I told him to knock it off.

Later that night, Tyler attempted to take my hand, four different times. For each occasion, I kept finding places for my hands to be, but I was actually running out of areas on my body. I finally got fed up and just asked to be brought home. I almost thought Tyler was going to leave me in the restaurant, but he must have thought the better of it because less than 20 minutes later I was home, removing my flats from feet. What a shame. I can't even wear flats without feeling yuck. The date was completely uneventful.

I looked around the small porch of the house I had been born in. I knew Charlie was waiting up for me, but I suddenly didn't feel like going inside just yet. It was only 8. Why should I be in so early just because my night was lousy? I tossed my shoes across my truck's seat and without even giving it a second thought, I drove down to La Push to see Jacob.

The drive didn't take as long as it usually did. It might have been my anticipation. With our first kiss out of the way (God, it still did things to my mind when I was alone) and now the frustration/tension phase, I actually felt like Jacob and I might have been getting to the good part of our new relationship; though, I had to admit that I didn't know exactly what it entailed.

I worried that Jacob would be out on patrol, but almost as soon as I turned down the small road to his house, Jacob was running out of the edge of the forest, tugging on his pants and a messy shirt. I blushed when I remembered the last time I caught him coming out of the forest just after a phase.

"Bells!" I barely opened the truck's door before he pulled me into his arms. "Honey, I am so sorry I was upset. I was going to come see you after your…meeting." Jacob looked flustered and I pushed him a little. Very little. He was still holding onto me.

"You gonna put me down now?" I grinned.

"Never." Jacob slung me over a shoulder and turned.

I was half annoyed and the other half was…aroused? How embarrassing. "Jacob Black, put me down."

He swung me forward to look at me eye to eye, but would not relinquish his hold. I almost felt like a bride being held up by a giant 6'4 man—or was he taller? Did this kid ever stop growing? Werewolves ate and grew way too much.

"I would have come to see you, you know. I would have climbed into your bedroom, stole you from your bed, and brought you back here with me."

My eyes lowered to avoid watching his lips move anymore, but even hearing his voice was messing me up tonight. "And how would I have gotten here and back home?" I questioned.

"You would have ridden on me," he said matter-of-factly.

I blushed at the double meaning.

"Want to watch something with me?" He asked suddenly. "And no romance. They suck."

I rubbed his shoulder with a free hand, trying to signal him to put me down. He paid attention and placed me on the ground. "Don't you have to take care of Billy or anything before we settle in for a movie?" I asked, straightening out my dress.

"No. He's over with Harry. He'll probably just stay over there. He hates being in the house by himself. I was supposed to patrol tonight, but I asked Sam for an early break. I had to see you, Bells." His eyes met my gaze though he tilted his head slightly.

"Oh." I felt foolish that I had made such a big deal for no reason. "Well, how about we check to see what's on? Since you adamantly hate romance," I joshed.

"I don't hate romance. It's just weird. Oh 'I love you.' 'Oh I love you.' 'Jim.' 'Marsha.' 'Jim.' 'Marsha.' Yuck." He made a face.

"Ugh. How will you handle being married? Surely your wife will want you to say 'I love you' every once in awhile. After all, she'll be saying it to you."

"Yeah? You don't tell me anything."

"I'm not your wife."

"Okay, but you still don't say it. Whatever happened to love between two friends?"

Feeling my back tense, I struggled to keep my expression taut. "Oh, we're friends today?"

His face held a resigned smile. "We'll always be friends, Bella. Even if I think it's wrong."

I did a double take. We had reached his house and I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him from turning the door handle. "What? What's so wrong?"

"Us. Us only being friends."

"It's not wrong. It's the right thing."

"It's not the right thing."

"You're young. You wouldn't understand."

"Right." He shook his shoulder loose of my hand and pushed the door open. He then bowed and ushered me inside. "My lady."

I rolled my eyes and stepped into the house before turning to him, "You are a pain, Mr. Black."

"And I love you too, Bells."

I looked at him. He had folded his arms in front of himself and was staring back at me. I knew he wanted me to retort. Or say the words back. Could I even say it back? I wanted to. I knew that he knew that I wanted to. I felt him pushing it. He was even willing it in his mind to make me say the words. Even if I only said it as one friend to another, I knew that he would accept it. Maybe he would have secretly dreamt it was something else. Maybe he would even dream and replay this moment at a later time.

If I would actually say it. If I could only say it back.

I stuttered a little. "You mean that as a friend, right?"

Jacob walked passed my still trembling figure before answering with a wry smile, "Sure, sure. Best friends." He waved his hand dismissively and sat on the couch, flicking on the TV. I sighed even though I wasn't the least bit relieved and plopped right next to him.

He did his best not to look at me in the next twenty minutes. I bumped him with my shoulder. He bumped me back. I then ruffled his hair and he caught my hand to kiss my wrist.

"I knew you wouldn't say it," he announced after his lips left my skin.

"And just how did you know that?"

He shrugged. "You hate showing emotion even though your face says it all. I can always tell what's on your mind."

"No you can't."

"Yeah, I can."

I put my hands on my hips and turned to him. "What am I thinking right now?'

"That's not fair," as he pointed to my two folded arms, "too easy. And I also don't think Charlie would appreciate the words you just used about me inside your head."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

Before I could do any thing else, Jacob grabbed and pulled me toward him. A kiss followed. I adapted quickly to the warm feeling in my stomach, and his hands held my face closely fastened to his. He allowed a few breaths to escape between us, but nothing more. Jacob seemed determined to have me, determined to not allow me to think of anything else; as if I could. My hands suddenly had a mind of their own. I found myself moving Jacob's hands from my face and toward my waist instead. He responded warmly to the idea and pulled his navy shirt out of his pants to place my hands on his middle chest.

My breaths turned heavy as he used his forefingers to gently stroke the side of my stomach up to just under the bottom of my bra, through my dress. It felt like nothing would stand in the way of his heat. It didn't even feel like a dress anymore. It felt like an extra barrier that we had to get through together. Between my legs a fire burned that was worse than waking up from my dreams at night. It felt so much worse since the person whom I had been dreaming about was right here in front of me.

And he was kissing me.

Each kiss made me suck in more and more air in an attempt to keep breathing right and not faint from the thought of this wonderful, yet sensual boy that was kissing me.

He finally moved away from my lips and dragged his tongue softly down to my neck, kissing various areas of my collarbone in no particular order. I grew bold and reached for the bottom of his shirt and struggled to pull it off of him. He gave a short laugh before he pulled off his own shirt with one hand and threw it somewhere behind us. I didn't dare to look. I knew I had already seen him shirtless, but I was afraid that if I found any more reason to find him perfect, I was going to lose control right there. My heart was already losing the battle.

Jacob unexpectedly got up, his fingers gently tugging my wrists. "Come on. Not here," was the only thing he whispered.

I had no idea what he meant, but I followed him anyway, too scared to speak. His fingers continued to stay closed around my small hands, leading me toward his room and he closed the door behind us. He began kissing me again and then picked me up to place me on my back, onto his bed.

He kept kissing me as he lifted my dress more than halfway up to expose my bra and panties. He bit his lower lip and my nipples hardened on sight of him doing so. Jacob's eyes widened in wonder as he watched me reach toward my back to undo my strapless bra's clasp, but I kept the bra over me, a little afraid of what he would think of his best friend lying bra-less on his bed. His thumb ran along the bottom of my loosened bra seconds before he just gently pushed the obstructive piece of clothing away, revealing me.

Jacob gently rubbed my nipples for a few moments before he started to kiss them. I ran my hand along his back and heard his heartbeat, though I was sure mine was beating slightly louder than his. I was still speechless when he finished kissing my breasts and began kissing my upper stomach, slowly making his way lower.

I began to get nervous and took in too much air much too fast. What was he doing?

"Relax. Just relax," he whispered in my ear. I swore that he was using my previous suggestion of 'relax' to his advantage. I bit my lip and shook my head a little at him. Whatever he was planning, I couldn't do it. A small sweat broke out on my back. This was too fast, this was just too fast. I couldn't stand it. Why was he doing this? Why did I feel this way about him?

"Jake?" I just managed to choke out.

Jacob wasn't discouraged. He positioned himself over me and kissed me again. Jacob gently pulled my tongue out of my mouth and my fingers trembled against his forearms. I urged my head further into the kiss, concentrating on how his lips moved with mine; the kiss was perfect, just as our other kisses had been. When I shifted my head, he moved his in perfect sync with me. When his face and lips left mine I tried to pull him back by pulling on the lower half of his chin with my teeth, but he gently thumbed my forehead, pushing me back down to the bed. I could feel the heat from his arousal near my stomach and he snickered, apparently feeling mine as well.

Jacob fingered a few strands of my hair before giving me a reassuring smile. "I'll go real slow. You can tell me when to stop, okay?"

I nodded, not sure if I could speak words yet.

But I wanted it and I knew I did. Whatever he wanted to give me, I wanted it.

I could feel myself pulsating and it was starting to hurt. I was actually wincing from it every few seconds. Jacob slowly, but definitively popped the three buttons near the top of my dress and pulled it quickly over my head. My underwear had a yellow puppy on the front and "Rawf!" on the back. He smiled, tracing the puppy's outline with his pinky, gently tugging at my lower lips with his teeth for a moment through the thin cotton before pulling my panties off too, with his fingertips.

My face was no longer the only thing bare and pink in front of him.

"God, Bella!" He actually growled at me.

Jacob kissed my inner thighs a few dozen more times and I began squirming under his grasp, steadily going crazy because he wouldn't put the one yearning fire out. I felt ache. I knew I was throbbing. I knew what I needed from him.

I didn't know how else to get him to see the hurt I was constantly feeling every time he came near me or touched me. For weeks I had pleasuring myself in the only (and safe) way that I could and I had secretly wanted this moment to happen. I wanted myself to let loose, knowing that it was safe to be this way with him, to be safe in wanting him, period.

My body's squirming came back. And so did the wetness.

His careful tongue strayed to just outside my center. I sniveled, not even able to feel his heat since my temperature was beyond hot. I felt like my blood was 110 degrees, at least, to his 108. His bottom lip grazed my clit twice and I whined again too early, afraid of the reaction I would have once he started. I felt bashful and I was certain that Jacob was too, though his soft lips quivered very little; his fingers wrapped around my upper hips, pulling my lower half closer to his waiting mouth. It was the only clue that I had about his nervousness. The few seconds of quiet seemed like an eternity. And then suddenly, Jacob was no longer shy about it.

He began devouring me.

At first he did it slowly, as if he wanted to see what I liked and how I responded, but he didn't know that I wanted everything. The gasps, the clenched fists, and the movements suddenly became unconscious reflexes as I struggled to hold on to whatever I could, as he persistently pushed his face and tongue deeper and deeper into me. I closed my eyes so tightly that I could see different colored spots in the darkness. That was my twilight.

I tried not to call out. Not to scream. It wasn't lady-like. But then I remembered that Billy wasn't even in the house and I began all the necessary grunts, moans, and trembles as his tongue explored my insides for the first time. The noises filled the house, my ears, and nearly blocked out the pleasant chuckles that Jacob let slip out his mouth.

His quiet laughter vibrated my insides to the core. My eyes teared as his tongue licked, sucked, and loved the entire length of me. The deeper his tongue went, the further my head and eyes went back into the surface of his pillow.

The growing heat inside of my body was phenomenal. I tried to back away from it (and him); I hit one of Jacob's bedroom walls in the process. He grabbed my hips more tightly, grunted, and wouldn't let me move away any further. I clawed at his hands trying to get him to let me loose, but he merely smiled without slowing down, watching me with desire in his eyes. The amazing things this boy was doing with his tongue…

I had never felt like this. I couldn't even think of Edward during this time because there was no comparison. The movements, the feelings, the aches were completely different. I was different. Edward had never let it get this far and here was my Jacob, doing it without being asked. And he was grateful for it. He was great at it. So great at it.

My back wrenched upward involuntarily as I felt close to climax. I could feel it. It was right on the tip of my sex. I could finally let go. I could finally release it in the proper way. My eyes started to tear more from being held closed so tightly. Jacob kept "working" and merely watched for it.

"Oh, I—Oh!"

My lips started to part and my neck lurched further toward the ceiling. I wanted it out. I just wanted it out. My legs started to shake. I briefly worried if I would accidentally knee Jacob in the face from the energy I was about to release. I had no idea what to expect. When I had done it previously, I always knew how much since I was the one who was doing it, since I was the one who was controlling it. I tried to calm myself, despite Jacob's hard work, and I reached for him then. My hand found his hair.

His hair. His beautiful, short, raven colored hair. The hair I use to ruffle when I wanted his attention, when I was playing around with him. When I was trying to get him to relax and not take all the things I said so seriously.

His hair. My best friend's hair. My best friend, who was now between my thighs, doing what no sixteen year old boy should be doing—least of all, with his best friend.

Oh God! What was I doing?

I panicked. "No! No—stop! Stop it, Jake!"

I tore myself from him. I jumped out of the bed and reached for support from his dresser. My warm fluids were already leaking down my thighs and legs, but I didn't care. I frantically reached for my dress at the same time when Jacob tried to reach for me. I backed away from him, nearly falling over his chair in the room.

"Bells? Honey, what's wrong?" He sounded so concerned. And I didn't deserve it.

I allowed myself to look at his face. That face. The one face I sought after when my day was really, really bad. That face that had made me laugh thousands of times by now. That same face that reminded me of Billy, sometimes.

That same innocent face that had been buried within my thighs not just a few seconds ago, that face that still had reminisces of me all over his lips.

I couldn't stand it. I couldn't keep doing what I was doing to him.

Jacob reached for me again and I slapped his hand away before bursting into sobs.

"Bella, tell me what's wrong. Did I hurt you? Was I hurting you?"

How could he look so innocent after doing what he had just been doing to me? He had been so willing. He had been enjoying himself. I had been enjoying myself.

"I—I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did this to you," I started.

"Did what to me? Bella, I wanted to—"

"No! No, you didn't. You didn't know what you were doing. You didn't know that it was wrong."

Jacob looked confused. "Wrong? Bella, you were just about to—"

"No! No." I shook my head. I shook my head so hard as if I were trying to shake the tears away. As if I could shake the tears away. "I can't, Jake," I pleaded. "Jacob, I have to go home. I have to leave."

"Okay, let me just wash up a little and I'll go back with you."

That was the worst thing he could have said. It was me he needed to wash off. It was me he needed to be done with.

"I have to leave right now!" I insisted. "You have to stay. You have to stay here!"

"Bella, honey—"

"Stay here!" I furiously shouted at him and pointed toward the bed. I then looked down and shuddered. There was still some wetness on the bed. Christ! That was where I had almost—I cut myself off. I had to get out. I had to leave.

I pulled my dress the rest of the way down, not bothering to try and find my panties. I hadn't even seen where Jacob had thrown them and I was too embarrassed to ask him for them now.

My face wore its usual shade of blush as I struggled to find all of my stuff (minus the underwear). I finally made it outside and climbed into my truck. Jacob ran outside not seconds after me.

"Please don't say anything. Please don't say anything," I chanted to myself.

"Bella, please! Please, just listen for one sec—"

My truck roared to life as it started and I began to move the gear shift.

He put his hand on the wheel through the open driver's window. I didn't dare look up.

"Okay, okay. Just…just call me when you get home, all right?"

I barely responded. He released his grip on my wheel finally and I tore down the road away from the La Push reservation.

Away from the bright full moon that lit up the sky. The moon that had been Jacob and mine's light when we had done what we did. What I had let him do to me. What I wanted him to do to me.

I drove away from him. I drove away from my Jacob.

*A/N: It was my first time writing this kind of chapter, so review to let me know what you think.

And don't curse me out-I'm not finished with J&B yet.