I turned, and there, standing in my cave, was the one person I never expected to see.
"Bartleby Gumball. What brings you out to my neck of the woods?"
"I'm serious, Marshall Lee Abadeer, let Fionna go this instant."
"Jeez Gumball don't get you hair in a wad. You know I'm not actually going to drink her blood."
"Whoa whoa whoa wait just a minute," the cat (Cake?...yeah) Cake said, "You mean you're not actually a vampire?"
"Oh, I'm a vampire all right," I growled, flashing my fangs. "But I don't drink blood. I eat red."
"Red?" Fionna asked.
"Yeah. I just suck the color out. I mean, I could drink blood if I wanted too...it's actually more filling, and tastes better, but I don't."
"MmmHmm," Cake hummed with a smirk. "And you're the Vampire King?"
I glared at the cat. "Listen, kitty-cat. Just because I choose not to drink blood doesn't mean I'm not the most powerful vampire in all of Aaa and the Nightosphere, got it?"
Cake glared at me, and I bore my fangs at her and growled.
"Aaanyways..." Fionna said, stepping between me and Cake, "what are you doing here Prince Gumball?"
"When I was informed that you were exploring this cave, I knew you'd run into Marshall Lee, so I came to keep him from doing anything horrible to you."
"Oh come on Gumbutt I was just messing around!" I exclaimed.
"From where I was standing, that's not how it looked. And I told you not to call me that."
"Whoa whoa whoa wait," Fionna said, "How do you two know each other?"
I looked at her, raising my eyebrow. "Isn't it obvious? We're Aaa royalty."
She still looked confused. I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to explain, but Gumball beat me to it.
"Every year or so there's an official meeting of Aaa royalty. All the princes and such meet and, well, discuss politics and such."
"Basically," I interjected, "It's a major snoozefest."
"Oh," Fionna said, finally understanding, "So like, LSP and Berry Prince and Hot Dog Prince and all those guys are there?"
"Yes. And a many others too," Gumball replied.
"Got it."
"Anyways," I said with a yawn, "Getting back to the original issue, what exactly are you guys doin' in my cave?"
"Well," Fionna said, "Cake and I are adventurers, and this was the last of The Caves we had to explore."
I nodded groggily. "Ok, well then explore quietly. The Vampire King needs his beauty sleep. Ok blondie?"
Gumball rolled his eyes and Fionna grinned. "Alright alright, your majesty."
I smirked as I floated back to my house. I entered again through my window and gently floated down onto my bed. I closed my eyes with a sigh, finally returning to my slumber.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the day I met Fionna the Human.