*A/N: This is shorter than other chapters, but it is important.
As usual, I want to thank my awesome betas for putting up with all my issues. From my commas to my time restraints and my obsessive/anal personality. Eh, who am I kidding? They love me too. :-)
Thanks to all those who reviewed. New and old. I do my best to respond back to everyone, but sometimes I get lost while browsing FFnet. No vampire memory to help me, sorry. But I will get to you, even if it's a month later. To those I couldn't respond back to, I give thanks for you guys too.
Chapter Summary: Somewhere in between, Jacob loses sight of who he is in an effort to be what Bella needs him to be. Jacob endures ridicule and heartache while Bella, it seems, is standing idly by, ready to let her best friend take the fall for her, but that is not the case. Bella desperately wishes that she could do what is best for Jacob, but doesn't that mean that she would have to do what ends up being worse for her? She still has yet to properly let go of Edward and time is running short. Victoria's plans are set in motion and Bella is, once again, thrown in the middle. Does Jacob have the strength to protect both himself and Bella?
*Disclaimer: I do own Twilight, but this chapter is owned by Jacob Black, and he left me very much affected. Bastard kept me awake all night to make me write it. He didn't like the minor part he played in the original chapter.
Chapter XVI Title: 'Unaffected,' by Hoobastank
The next morning, Lauren and Jessica said very limited words to me while Angela tried to cheer me up. Mike and Ben were objectively trying to keep neutral at my sudden love for "big and unusual" animals while Tyler and Eric cracked jokes at my expense, siding with Lauren and Jessica. I barely paid attention. I hadn't adequately explained my calmness about the large wolf in my room to my roommates nor to the local police (and my father) who had shown up not long after Jacob took off. Charlie appeared a few hours later, begging me to stay close by, though all he really wanted to do was take me home. I could see it in his eyes. He might have thought I was losing it again except other people had seen the giant wolf fleeing from my room as well. I couldn't even come up with a decent cover story to save my best friend or myself. I was useless.
I walked alongside Angela on the streets of Seattle toward Lake Washington Blvd., not really seeing any differences in the big city. Sure there were people, but they were so busy with their noses down or walking swiftly from place to place, it was a small wonder how they didn't bump into each other, much less notice my wolf running around.
Nonetheless, there were a lot of people around and I was to blame for the predicament that Jacob was now in. I never meant any harm. I even thought that I was protecting him by keeping him a safe distance away from me; after all, I was a walking calamity. My mind was consumed with thoughts of Jacob; over and over again I kept tossing in the bed that had been "awarded" to me by Lauren, and was not comforted by the nightmares I had of Jacob being captured, drugged, and trapped inside a zoo cage for the rest of his life. The relentless night had been filled with his yowls and cries, shifting from his wolf to human form, asking me why I was doing this to him. Shaking and wet from the fear I felt, I could not answer him. It took all I had not to wake up screaming, awakening my roommates and further fueling their belief that Bella Swan had gone completely nuts from the loss of Jacob Black, her sort-of-beautiful werewolf best friend and the unknown whereabouts of Edward Cullen, her perfect vampire boyfriend.
Well, maybe they didn't know about the Edward-being-a-vampire part.
I sighed, causing Mike to throw a concerned look my way and produce an annoyed look from Jessica. I kept praying that Jacob was alright. Now it felt like I almost hated his wolf form. I knew I carried the whole conversation with Jacob as a wolf, but it had been just too comforting to let him stay the way he was. I was starting to think that I just didn't want to be held accountable for pushing him away like I had done that night. And now, not a night had gone by when I didn't wonder what my first orgasm would have been like with Jacob if I had just let him continue. If I had just let my body do what it had wanted to do; to be with him all along.
My lower lip disappeared partly under my teeth as I imagine Jacob's very human arms around me. He was warm as a wolf, but he felt more whole to me as a person. I inhaled deeply and smiled a little. Suddenly I saw a darkish figure moved across a tree in the park. My hopes lifted. Did Jacob stick around after all?
"Guys, I'm going to go for a walk in the park. I'll see you guys back at the room."
Their less than interested faces slipped my mind as I took hurried steps toward Frink Park's heavily wooded area, intent on not tripping, and searched desperately for Jacob. I would tell him to go home. I would tell him to stop playing my game of the girl and the family pet. I whispered his name while turning over a few big bushes. The park wasn't too crowded and the sun was actually out a little, a pleasant change for Seattle skies. I imagined Jacob and I lying on the beach with sandwiches, laughing with one another as I continued to harshly mutter his name for the next ten minutes.
Wind rushed through my loose curls and I heard a distinct menacing growl behind me. "Jake? Is that you?"
Guilt was infectious, plaguing my mind with memories from the past. Much too long ago in the past was more like it, I thought somberly. I remembered the shy and gangly boy that had once been too nervous to hold my gaze for too long and now Jacob was struggling not to bring much vermin into Charlie's house on his fur. I could reminisce about all the tender moments that we should have had, but had been too selfish to let happen simply because he wasn't the one that I had wanted to touch me like I needed. Edward would barely touch me at all, making me wonder if there was something wrong with me, if I would be the one to steal his virtue and chastity from him. But now I found myself not even caring much for Edward at this point.
I could still see Jacob's sad eyes, confused and broken on the night I had ran from him. How easy would it have been just to give in to him? To let him hold me and comfort me like I really wanted to be? I didn't need a pet, I needed a man. I needed Jacob.
A heavy step echoed in my ears, louder than all the voices, memories, and pain I had earnestly been trying to hide from. This can't be Jacob, I finally concluded. Jacob never made a sound when he walked anymore. My breaths slowed without my aide as I turned around, as much as I hated to turn. As much as I suddenly didn't want to face whatever menace was behind me. The air smelled putrid almost immediately after my body had finally made the 180 degree turn. Please let this smell be Paul, I cried. Please let this smell be coming from Paul. Paul wasn't the most hygienic wolf in the pack.
The ground shook slightly, spraying dirt into my eyes. I squinted and was barely able to make out the dark fur, the even tempered breathing, the wide silhouette that suddenly blocked my path, and the horribly golden-rod eyes. My feet took several very shaky steps back. I tried to force my eyes to focus, but the burning smell invaded my nostrils, making me feel tired and almost sluggish. My feet gave out from under me as I hit the ground. I started to feel confused as my eyes watered from the very odor of this unknown creature before me. My stomach felt itself raise, my heart devoid of all emotion while feeling no reason to run.
I felt unashamed for giving up even.
I quickly ran out of tears to shed. I felt the presence loom over me and my tongue felt heavy inside of my own mouth.
A sudden howl crashed my absence of the fighting spirit and a light, familiar aroma practically smacked me in the face. I heard a sickening crack and thud as the unearthly presence was no longer over me, but fighting against my wolf.
My eyes blurred at the two unknown beings in-sync movements, but I could see the red flashes of my brave protector as Jacob quickly stepped forward as the threatening, nameless form stepped back. I could still feel the ground move and several rocks and trees were torn in half as they threw themselves at each other, four legs against four legs. Two sets of teeth.
Jacob jumped suddenly onto its back and tore into one shoulder. A great yowl erupted from its throat as it tried to grab Jacob's tail. Jacob's size worked to his advantage. The other creature was clearly twice my wolf's size, but Jacob was fighting harder, moving quicker, and seemingly feeling less winded. Tears returned to my face as I crawled across the soil to move closer to them. They barked at each other, vapor spitting from their mouths. The smell nearly overwhelmed me as it reached my cheeks and burned them. I felt my skin flush from heat and my throat tingle from being too afraid to swallow.
The monster caught Jake's long, and ragged fur swiftly. "JAKE!" My voice called to him before I could stop myself. The attacker's yellow eyes focused on me as it threw Jacob from its back, mercilessly, and Jake landed with a dull, but echoed sound. My hands flew behind me in an attempt to crawl away backwards before the giant could reach me.
It growled and then yelped, reaching for its left side—Jacob had bitten into its rear leg. The creature stood upright and a blow landed right into Jacob's back. It held onto Jacob's fur and swung him again, but then my wolf suddenly swiped at its body, leaving crimson marks etched into its face and tearing off a side of its nose. It howled once again in protest.
Jacob fell back and the creature shook unsteadily from being maimed. I grabbed a fistful of dirt, knowing that it wouldn't do much, but Jacob limped quickly in front of me, lowering his head in an attack position. The creature continued to stumble back, now bleeding noticeably, letting out a huge deafening roar, and turned to bound off deeper into the park woods.
I grabbed Jacob's tail and saw that his whole side had been caved in and was caked with blood. I did not know how he had been standing as he had. "Jake—oh God—" I pulled his muzzle to my face and began tearing. He whimpered loudly and his pulse raced. I was worried that the adrenaline that had fueled him for his fight was wearing off and then he would notice just how hurt he really was. Sobs fell out of me as I heard loud sirens approaching and saw lights in the distance. Had the fight really lasted so long that it darkened the skies? I blinked back more tears and tried to calm my voice down for Jacob. Charlie would be here soon. Worry weighed my thoughts as I started to think of what they would do to Jacob, thinking that he had attacked me. I wasn't sure if I had blood on me that was mine, but I had noticed that Jacob began to bleed more, and he would die if I didn't calm him down.
His heartbeat continued to beat loudly. I grabbed his head with both of my hands and began to smooth his ears and fur. "Jacob, listen to me—you have to phase. Phase back now."
Jacob shook his head slightly, his brown eyes dimming and falling under the pressure of his eyelids. I shook him awake. "Jacob, honey—please! PLEASE! You have to phase back! PHASE BACK!"
His head continued to ebb from the effort of holding it up. I lifted myself from under him and stood up, running a little toward where I had last heard the local police. They were close. I could hear their hurried steps on the pavement and if I could hear them, I knew Jacob could, even if he was bleeding out.
"Jake, I can't lose you too—I can't! Please phase back! JAKE!" I took a step toward him as my voice continued to break from my sobs when Jacob's fur changed into his beautiful russet colored skin, smooth even though bloodied and bruised. His hair was longer and matted with grime and his breathing was heavy and inconsistent. His fingers gripped the dirt on the ground and I sank to my knees to crawl to him, afraid to swallow in case I started to wail too loudly. I shook as we touched.
His arms wrapped around me and he felt almost clammy at first. Jacob's body hardened against me as I ran my fingers through his hair, getting caught in his tangles and felt his breath and small, hurried kisses along the base of my throat. Jacob jerked in my arms, his teeth vibrating along the skin of my collarbone, and then he suddenly became warm again. His legs stayed curled in a fetal position and he began murmuring over and over again. I almost thought he was speaking in his native language.
"Bella, I'm so sorry. I couldn't stop it. I wasn't strong enough for you."
My heart broke. He saved my life and he was apologizing for getting hurt, for being flawed. Jacob was far from that. He was so much more special than that. "Jake, no. No, its okay. It's alright." I rocked him and he clung to me even harder. We were so in tune to each other that I never heard Charlie approaching with the other men and police. He cleared his throat, and I barely looked up, continuing to run my fingers through Jacob's unkempt hair and my other hand along his upper back. I didn't dare venture any lower.
"Were you guys attacked, Bella?"
I nodded. "Jacob scared it off," I stated dreamily. I just concentrated on rocking him. I just kept the fear out of my voice, afraid that Jacob would phase in my very arms if he got the sense that I was in any danger again. I didn't care if Charlie would wonder just how Jacob had scared off anything, or wonder how Jacob had even gotten to Seattle. I would answer all his questions later. I was sure he would have them. Right now, all I could concentrate on was the shivering, quiet boy sitting almost between my legs, and blurring my eyes from his touch alone.
He was my wolf, my protector, my Jacob.
"We need to get you guys to a hospital. You guys okay? Jake…you alright, kid?" Charlie took a careful step toward us and Jacob buried his head in my shoulder. I doubt if Charlie ever heard his muffled "Fine," fly from his lips.
I could feel him almost healed, grateful that that had been one of the perks of being a werewolf. He would be whole again soon. His outsides would match how he made me feel inside. My tears fell onto his blood stained skin and I shook again.
"Bella," my father's voice was monotone, but I recognized the laced nervousness. "Bella, sweetie, let him go. We need to get you guys to the hospital, him especially. Please?"
Charlie was rarely afraid. This was serious. I pushed myself forward and felt Jacob's grip tighten. I softly blew in his ear, "Its okay. I'm fine, Jake. I'm fine. We have to take you the hospital."
"Bella, I won't leave you."
"I want you to. You have to be healthy too. Who's going to look after you?" I chuckled and lowered my voice, "I don't have any super healing abilities like you guys."
Jacob loosened himself from around me, but didn't laugh. He said nothing as the officers and EMT helped get him out of the woods and onto a gurney. I walked alongside Charlie with my eyes completely on Jacob, and Jacob mimicked me. I had been lucky; the EMT's found no bruises and no blood aside from Jacob's, and Jacob was healed with the exception of some light black bruising and his dry blood that covered him entirely. EMT's didn't know what to make of it.
The ambulance drove off with Jacob inside anyway, just to be sure. I almost cried out when I saw a huge black wolf follow through the trees, but then was calmed as I saw other colors follow close behind. Sam looked at me when I gasped. I ran to the edge of the street, tripping. I didn't feel embarrassed anymore, even when all the other wolves except for Sam snorted in laughter.
I kept eye contact with Sam before he raced off after Jacob's ride, "Tell him he'd better make it." My arms covered my chest to hold myself together again.
*A/N: Action chapters are like my favorite drug. Tell me what you think.
Class & work is making it really hard to post. It's great and it's not. I need money, but I love writing.
Well, review and I'll promise to work on it. :-) I'll put off completing a practice expense report for accounting in order to write 5,000 word essay describing Jacob Black's chest. Seriously, I would.