As the sun descended to a distant side of the Earth, the night sky blanketed itself over Thorn Manor. Aunt Marion began her nightly routine, firstly she retrieved some bath salts and added them to her bath. Afterwards she snorted the bath salts and ate one of the maids' faces. Aunt Marion then went to her bedroom to sleep. Little did she know that Swag Bro the Crow was waiting for her. Whilst Marion counted her drug money, Swag Bro the Crow replaced her nightly sugar cube with really hardcore LSD.

Marion didn't like hippies and had therefore, never tried LSD. This was her first trip and was most certainly her last. She started hallucinating some really freaky shit. The shit was so freaky that she had a heartattack and died (AN: That's about as likely as me taking a horror film seriously). Swag Bro the Crow fled the scene of the crime by flying away. What a sneaky bastard!

As Aunt Marion died, she could only faintly hear the cries of "Caw caw, mother fuckers."

When the sun pulled itself up from the distant country it had been shining over, Ann sauntered into Aunt Marion's so that she could wake the old bitch up. However, Aunt Marion was dead. It was really awkward because she had shit herself postmortem.

"Oh no! She's dead, that's so bad. I'm like so sad. It was probably all the drugs and... crazy straws," said Ann between a few early morning yawns.

Whilst sergeant Neff was scribbling "Damien Thorn + Sergeant ( AN: His first name is sergeant, gots a problem w/ dat?) Neff = Love 5ever" in his 'Hannah Montana' notebook (AN: Doctor Who also gave everyone Hannah Montana stationery, fo realz), there were things occurring in what I imagine is the common room.

"ZOMG, the guy in dis pic is totes gay," said a person

"That's my dad," said Damien.

"Didn't he try to kill you in the first film?"

"...No."

"I'm pretty sure-"

"NO SUCH EVENT TRANSPIRED!"

And with that, Damien sauntered out.

"You're cousin is a douchebag," said a person.

"I know but I'm going to beat you up for saying that, despite the fact it's true," screamed Jamarcus! He then started delicately hitting a person with a marzipan spoon. Within 0.0002 seconds Jamarcus had been pinned to the floor by a person and was getting his 12 year old arse handed to him. It was almost as awkward as Miley Cyrus' recent performance at the MTV awards. Then Damien came back because he realised he had left his marzipan spoon in the common room.

"What are you doing? he asked.

"I'm beating up your cousin!"

"No, what are you doing to my MARZIPAN SPOON!"

"What?"

"You squashed it, you piece of shit! Now I'm going to intensely stare at you!"

"It's on! I am the best at it intensely staring," a person yelled as he threw his military jacket off to prepare himself for the intense staring session. However after a few minutes, a person threw himself against the wall whilst simultaneously shitting his pants.

"How did you make him do that?" Asked Jamarcus as he attempted to reattach his arm to his torso.

"I don't know, it's probably nothing weird, though."

"Oh and thanks for defending my honour," Jamarcus added.

"Uh yeah, that what I was doing, for sure."

Sergeant Neff then stormed into the room and everyone quickly gathered into an organized formation. He hadn't remembered why he had come in but he noticed his crush was there so he decided to act like there was a legitimate reason.

"There are surprise overly padded rugby... I mean football tryouts."

He then noticed a person on the floor.

"The fuck are you doing? Get your ass up," he commanded, though he instantly regretted it when he realised that a person had shit himself.