*A/N: Don't worry; I am not separating B & J again. :-D

I got upset with my story and didn't write for eleven days, teaching it a lesson. In the end I lost; I couldn't stay away from my favorite wolf any longer. And ironically, this chapter is a bit mushy. In my opinion, anyway.

Chapter Summary: Jacob and Bella's relationship is back on track and Bella is finished with pretending that she no longer wants Jacob in her life. Jacob proves that he knows just the right words to say when Bella needs it most and Bella prepares herself for the rest of her human life without Edward, while awaiting her graduation from high school.

*Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. And I'm extremely impatient; waiting for TL's new movie 'Abduction' is agitating. Anyone else second that feeling?

Chapter XVII Title: 'Waiting,' by Trapt

(BPOV)

"Bella, this is crazy. When am I going to get to see you for longer than five minutes?" Jacob whined over the phone. "No one ever leaves us alone anymore."

I laughed mirthfully. It was true. Charlie now demanded that the door be left opened when he had taken me to see Jacob twice at his house in the past week, but had only allowed me to stay for a few minutes. Jacob had been welcomed graciously back into Billy's house, back into the pack, and had cut his hair again, looking devilishly handsome with his trademark grin and warm brown eyes lighting up every moment they rested on me.

"Which reminds me, now that we are somewhat alone," I teased, "did you finish your late school project? How much 'pull' do the elders have over your school work anyway?"

"I don't know. They know what I am. Everyone is still grateful that I made it back alive and now we're still trying to figure out just what the hell that thing was."

Light goose bumps raised in my skin though I forced myself to keep smiling.

Jacob seemed to hear my heart stop over the phone. "Bells, don't worry. I'll die before I let anything happen to you. I'm yours."

"You're not the 'family pet' anymore, Jacob. You're human and you're my best friend."

"Can this best friend take you to the prom, I wonder?" Jacob teased.

I made light of the situation and laughed nervously. "Your grades are actually good enough for you to attend your school's prom? Aren't you only going to be a junior next year? Sophomores don't have proms."

"Not my prom, Bella. Yours."

I nearly dropped the phone. "I'm not going to my prom."

"Why not? I dress up real nice. You've seen me. I crashed your last prom and I even managed to avoid crushing your feet."

"Those were your pre-phasing days, you know. Does your wolf grace extend to your dancing abilities?"

"Only one way to find out, Bells."

I drew in a breath and glanced at my dresser draw that hid my recently recovered pictures of the Cullens. Of Edward and I, during my last birthday. I hadn't wanted to go to my prom last year, but Edward had convinced me that it would be a human experience that I would not have wanted to miss. The evening was magical; I remembered that was also when I had asked him to turn me. I had been so ready. I had wanted him so much. Too soon, Bella. Too soon. I wasn't going to let disappear into that dark hole of my heart again; not after Jacob had been able to pull me out. But to let Jacob corrupt a happy memory that I had shared with Edward last year, it was just too soon.

I swallowed. "Jake, I really do not want to go to my prom. I think you just want to see me in a dress and trip all over myself so you can save me."

"Well, I do enjoy putting my arms around you. I am quite irresistible, being a hot werewolf and all."

I knew he was only teasing, but I blushed anyway. "Sure, sure."

"Why won't you let me take you to your prom? Is it because of him?"

I turned away from the phone, my silence indicating my answer.

"I'm sorry. Bells, I'm sorry," Jacob quickly amended. "I just thought that…we'd go as friends, you know. You'd get to see me wear a real tux, I'd pick you up, have a corsage for you—"

"You can't ask me to my prom, Jake," cutting him off. It sounded rude, but I knew he would understand and I was also hoping that he would drop the subject too. "You don't attend my school so you can't ask me to my high school prom. You must really think you're hot stuff," I scoffed.

"One-hundred and eight oh-point nine degrees over here," he clarified. "Okay, fair enough. How about I ask you to my prom instead? In another year?"

"Think you'll be able to keep up your grades till then? I don't date deadbeat, high school dropouts," I kidded, then stopped my mid-sentence laughter. I suddenly realized that I had used "date" in a sentence to a hormonal, teen werewolf. I swore that I could hear his eyes light up over the phone, but he gave no indication that anything had changed.

"Tell you what, with your help, anything is possible. Study partners for the summer?"

"Alright," I agreed. "What else do I have to do for the summer, anyway? Maybe I can inspire you to become a great educator or something."

"I'm taking a lot of tech and workshop this year."

"For auto mechanics?"

"Uh-huh. It's boring. I know the stuff already."

"Oh, well then you won't need me."

"Wait, wait. Okay, I have issues with…uh…Shit!"

I grinned, but scolded him for cursing. "Jacob."

"Sorry."

I loved that he still couldn't lie to me. My grin got wider as I fingered my bed sheets.

"So," Jacob said slowly. "We got a deal? About prom?"

"If you pull up your grades and are allowed to go, then I will go with you. But I hate that you are making me commit to this."

"Hate is a passionate emotion."

"I hope my good influence rubs off on you soon."

"Yeah, okay. We already established that you are the bad influence; plus, I'm older than you."

"No, you just look older."

"Okay, true, but I don't know how you would know that. You haven't seen me for more than a few seconds lately. And you still never answered my question; when can I see you?"

I shifted the phone to my other ear. "I hope you're not taking history this year." I started to tease, again. "You are really not too good with history. What did you get on your last exam, by the way? The one that you missed?"

Jacob chuckled. "Stop trying to divert my attention, Bella. When am I going to see you for longer than a few moments? That's not nearly enough time to make you blush or to effectively smell your strawberry scented shampoo…and something else now."

I stopped smiling. "What?"

"Your smell. You smell great still, but this past week you've smelled different. Like, I hate to say it, but you smell ripe."

My face scrunched up. "Ripe? Like a fruit? You think I'm a fruit, Jake?"

"Something like that. I don't mean it to be bad, but you just—"

"You mean I smell ready? Like aroused?" My voice was laced with fear. I was almost certain I knew what he was talking about. It scared me that Jacob could pinpoint almost exactly when I had started taking those pesky birth control pills. I still wasn't planning on anything with him or anyone, but my acne was already starting to get clearer and my breasts hadn't grown yet, but were already feeling swollen. It may have been just in my mind.

"Not aroused, Bells! Jeez. I'm sorry. I just meant…it's a wolf thing. I'm sorry. My nose just picks up stuff like that."

"You know what, its fine." I began to grin again. "You could probably give me a head start of when I'm supposed to menstruate."

"Ugh! Gross, Bells! That's disgusting!"

I heard Jacob gag and I immediately began to feel better.

"Bella, let me see you," Jacob started. "I am completely fine. My bones actually healed before I even hit the hospital. Sue Clearwater was just babying me this past week. I think her son, Seth, conned her into it. He looks up to me, you know. I'm like a hero to the kid."

"Modest, Jacob Black. You're very modest."

Jacob ignored me. "I really miss you, Bella. I even got you a present while laid up here in the bed."

My eyes widened. "You made something in bed?" I knew Jacob carved small animals, a technique learned by the men in his tribe, but I had never seen any.

"No. I bought it, but it was made by somebody." He laughed again before continuing, "Bella, just let me drop it off. I'll swing by your room, we'll hang out—"

"You will see me for graduation this weekend. No prom, but you get to see me graduate. You'll see me in a dress after all; however, I do reserve the right to change in the car. We already set a date and you can't break it." My forced smile was evident through the phone. "Do you miss being in my room that much? Is it like your second home? Are you homesick?" I ribbed.

His tone turned stubborn. "I'm not homesick. It's more like 'hìtkwotl͌ítali.'"*

I smiled at the use of his native language. "What's that, Jake?"

"It means 'heart-sick,' Bella."

The phone cord twisted between my fingers and my breathing felt cornered within the walls of my chest. I prayed that I really hadn't heard what he said. We had never spoken about what happened between us that night. I had just been assuming that it was over and it wouldn't happen again. But now his voice was layered with a thick, lustful tone that made me sorry that we weren't more. "Were you guys able to work out a better schedule for patrolling? I know it's been crazy, being a wolf short. And now you don't have to spend all your time with me either now that we're talking almost every day—"

"Bella, stop changing the subject. I'm serious. Friend or not—"

"Graduation. We will see each other then. You have to finish up with your classes and you're lucky you can take your exams later than everyone else too. Until then, you better keep your nose clean and out of my room, Mr. Black. You got it?" I mock-threatened.

"Alright, Bella. I got it."

We said our goodbyes and reluctant clicks followed afterwards. I dove into my neglected school projects, determined to get a passing grade so that I could walk during graduation. I exhaled loudly a few hours later when the dark filled my room. My pencil hit viciously across my knuckles (with my own power) and then I couldn't help but sigh again, walking reluctantly to my empty bed. I slammed things down. I pushed and pulled the pillows and throws on my bed. I almost considered stomping around just to make some noise to cover my sudden tears, to cover my anger. I missed my best friend maliciously, but I was sick of playing selfish and the "damsel in distress" bit. Jacob had a life too and he should enjoy it.

Several taps began to knock my window. I thought it was rain, knowing that was what Forks was notorious for, but when I kept hearing the noises I rushed to my window and threw it open. My eyes fell on a small purple box and my fingers shook as my fingers connected with the very light package to open it. Inside was a beautiful white gold anklet with a tiny red wolf charm, its eyes closed and head thrown back in an uninterrupted howl. The detail was absolutely breathtaking as I turned it in my fingers. The anklet still caught the light from the dim and setting sun and the charm itself looked as though it was handcrafted from some kind of rare stone, the red matching perfectly to Jacob's burgundy skin.

A note fell from the box and I felt immediately fussed over it. I knew this had to be Jacob. I couldn't believe how glad I was that he had not listened to me; leaving my graduation gift while stealing a look at me in the process without my knowledge was crossing the line, but I wasn't angry. I unfolded the note. I was half-worried that it would have been in his native language and that he would have cursed me for denying him to see me for as long as I had, but it was in English. And there was no cursing.

Bella,

I am not very good at writing my feelings out on paper nor am I very good with feelings. Period. But I am willing to give it a try.

You were right to not want to see me, Bella. I didn't take responsibility for my duty toward my father, my family, or my tribe when I was with you for those weeks and I should not be rewarded with seeing you now, though I crave it more than anything. I didn't even try to balance it at all—I just wanted to be with you, whichever and how ever you would have had me. I could have spent the better part of forever with you and not have cared how many opportunities passed me by as long as I didn't have to leave you. I was content to stay where I was and let fate catch me at will and then decide what it would do with me later. I could not have cared less. That was the life I was going to live if I could have stayed selfish and had you the way that I wanted.

But you aren't my possession. You aren't a fragile doll without hopes, opinions, beliefs, or love. You are capable of making difficult decisions. The same decision is now responsible for what I am going through. Responsible for every line that I write on this page and every word that I speak to you after this day: you are still my heart, Bella.

My 'hìtk'. Now and always. The moment we stopped speaking I felt cold, lonely, and angry. I walked around ungrateful toward my loved ones and the tribe. I hated my friends. I hated my family. I hated looking in the mirror when I washed my face. I got scared of touching things or going places that reminded me of you, of what we use to be. What more we could have been if things had been different. I even dare say this: what I hope to be with you one day again.

I am sorry that I wasn't the patient and caring friend that first made you like me in the first place and I'm even more sorry that I couldn't face you, offering more than a letter with my chickenshit handwriting. I don't have anything without you. Maybe one day I can be the man you need me to be and we can be there for each other more than we ever were before.

Please tell me yes, Bella. Please let me know. Tell me that we can still make 'us' work no matter what.

Xabá, (My all)

Jacob xoxo

My fingers shook with quiet intensity and the sudden gasp that left my throat actually startled me. I couldn't believe that Jacob was sharing these feelings with me and I didn't even know what I had done to deserve them. Yet I was somehow comforted in knowing that he was willing to apologize for what past things we had done to each other and he was willing to accept whatever I wanted us to be. I wanted us to always be friends. This moment was it and this second was the only time to live for. My fingers reached for my new anklet right away and I fastened it to my left.

It was the perfect fit.

May, graduation

"Bella! Bella, quick! You have to get in the picture with us!"

Angela's squeals made me wince. I knew she had a good heart in trying to get me to be more "excited" about graduation, but I was secretly just waiting to get out of my heels and back into my bed. No pretty dresses. No more crying teenagers—well, young adults now. And no more heels.

It should have been outlawed that girls had to wear so much to look beautiful. I glanced around the decorated gymnasium in my old high school. Most of the boys were wearing jeans.

I guess no one dressed up anymore.

"No way, Bella! You have to get in the picture with us!" Angela had walked over and grabbed me. She pulled me into the small crowd of our friends and Angela's mom (Angela was an exact replica of her mother) began snapping pictures.

Charlie seized the opportunity as well and snapped a few of their own. It was probably so that he could send some back to Renee since she couldn't be here.

She and Phil had somehow managed to book a flight to one of the Caribbean islands and then missed their flight back home. It wasn't that they were having so much fun that they forgot, but my mother had actually left a few things in various places of the hotel room and they had to keep turning around to go get back to get things. After going back about three different times, they had missed their flight.

I had actually laughed. That was my mother.

I gave up for the rest of the graduation ceremony and allowed myself to have my picture taken with other people who came up to me and asked.

Mike and Tyler both kissed me on the cheek at the same time for one of the pics. Charlie had almost had a fit but snapped the picture anyway. Maybe he could prove to all of his buddies at the station that I wasn't such a homebody with two guys kissing me at the same time.

Lauren had even tried to be nice to me, sort of. After the walk around the different clichés (to "circulate" herself) she had walked up to me and bluntly stated, "That's a very pretty anklet that you are wearing. The russet red in the wolf is a perfect match to your hair."

I looked at her in surprise and managed to sputter a "Thank you."

She nodded once and then walked away. Sometimes I was still expecting her to turn away from me to fly off on her broomstick.

I patted my leg in a nearby chair. Jacob had called this morning and stated that he wouldn't be able to make it in time. Some late break on the familiar scent of vampires and something else. He was thinking it might have been that thing that had tried to attack me in Seattle. I tried to sound happy that we all might have been able to sleep safe soon, but I was still missing my best friend. Even more so since the night I had received his gift and beautiful note.

Forks High School graduation was not that long. Only a few hours. The real fun was supposed to be at the town dinner where all the graduating seniors get a discount for eating there and bringing their families. I was sure that it was just a money pit for them.

Charlie and I celebrated with Angela, Ben, and Mike's parents. All of us seniors were laughing and began to even throw a few things at each other from across the table. The rest of the families joined in when Ben accidentally hit Angela's younger brother with a fry.

I had actually been having a good time.

An announcer began speaking into the microphone at the diner (they had a karaoke night every so often) and began: "Graduates, parents, and fellow high school alumni I give you this year's graduating class!"

After the diner experience a few of us actually went down to the beach celebrate. Angela pulled me closer to her and Ben as Mike and Jessica strayed not too far from my right. We stayed in the local small park reserved for some camping, bonfires, and small parties with the proper permits. We weren't the only ones who decided to celebrate the day's events. A few other graduating seniors who weren't in our usual group had tagged along. There were too many names for me to try and remember all at once. At the beach I stayed as close as I could to my group without wandering off and we met with some of the La Push graduating seniors too, throwing a party to celebrate.

I didn't see Jacob anywhere in the crowd and was a little disappointed. I wouldn't even focus on the other faces.

"Bella!" A male voice called.

I turned though I knew it wasn't Jacob, but I did recognize the voice. Paul was the one who reached me. "Bella! All right! How you doing, senior!" and he hugged me. I was taken aback. Paul was not affectionate. I staggered back a little as he let me go. "Hey look guys; she can stand on her own on the beach this time!" I blushed as Paul made a reference to the night I was drunk at their last beach party. Someone needed to catch him doing something bad and then rub his nose in it.

"You'll have to forgive Paul. He is just so thankful that he was actually able to graduate with his horrible grades." Quil said turning around to me to give me his own hug. It looked as though I should have paid closer attention to who was sitting in the small gathering after all.

"Yeah, they didn't want him anymore!" Embry's voice shot out from somewhere in the group. I was still too afraid to look in case he wasn't there. I couldn't believe how nervous I was to see him. Now Bella, you have seen the kid since he's phased back. He still looks the same. I doubt he changed. His voice is the same. His feelings are the same. He's still Jacob. He's still your Jacob.

"Hey, Embry." I desperately tried to place the general vicinity of the voice so that I would not have to look. I just couldn't do it.

Luckily Embry walked over to me and gave me a big hug as well. All these boys had even more abs. Was this normal? Were all sixteen and seventeen year old kids supposed to have abs? Jeez. I looked up at Embry and saw that he got taller too. Only a couple inches, but it was noticeable. I then took the opportunity to glance around the group. Sam seemed to have been the only guy that didn't grow any larger. No Jacob, though.

"We're heading over to the cliffs in a little bit. We're going to cliff dive."

I glanced nervously at Embry and looked down at my flimsy graduation gown. "I don't have a bathing suit." And I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to dive since the last time I was on the cliffs, I had been chased by Laurent.

"I think you can let it slip this time. Come on." Quil urged me when Embry simply looked dumbfounded. I wasn't exactly sure why.

In spite of that fact, I began to smile. Everyone looked happy to see me and I certainly had missed them all. I had missed them so much. I was actually feeling my eyes water again. Paul started to fake a gag reflex at my display of emotions when Quil's smile suddenly widened in front of me.

"Bella." A voice called directly behind me.

I knew that voice. I knew that voice. My hands started to shake. My feet buried themselves into the sand. I had to turn around. I had to turn around. Oh God.

"Jacob." I turned slowly. I swore that it was the longest turn in my life. It was like my life flashing before my own two hands. I could do this. I could do this.

I stood face to face with Jacob's chest at first. Did it get bigger? I couldn't be sure. I saw his well defined pecs. He had no shirt on. Of course, he has no shirt on. He was the sun. Why would he need a shirt on? My lips were suddenly cold and my hair now blew behind me instead of in front of my face. I begged the wind to change direction in the next half second. I didn't want to be able to see his face. I didn't want to see that face.

It would mean that he was real and that I would be able to hold him. I could hold him for as long as I wanted. I wouldn't have to worry about either of our fathers walking in on us or Charlie saying that we had to leave when we really didn't. It meant I could thank Jacob face to face finally and not hide behind a phone or cut our short time together. Everything would be alright. Everything would be back the way it should have been when we were friends. When we were friends? How long ago was that? Friends didn't make you feel the way he made me feel. Friends didn't do what this kid could do with just a finger tip or the touch of his lips. His smell was drowning me into a slight fever. It had hurt not to be able to do what I wanted with him, but it scared me to do anything that I could with him too.

My head stood immobile. I couldn't look up. I couldn't make myself face him. I was ashamed again. I knew people were watching and I was ashamed that so many people would be seeing me like this. See me scared of this boy, afraid of this remarkable, stunning, teenage boy. This gift that was given to me, but I threw away because I was so dumb, because I was so stubborn, because I was so afraid to let him touch me.

I saw his hand move and I instinctively closed my eyes. His thumb touched my neck and then he gently nudged my chin upwards.

"Open your eyes, Bella," he whispered on my face.

I came apart at the seams; held back by my stubbornness to remain his friend, but completely lost in the simplistic way his eyes lit up for me. I saw him. I could see him as if he had always been there. My Jacob was back. My Jacob was back and the world stopped.

My voice came out in a dry whisper. My throat was suddenly thirsty. "Hey, Jacob."

"Hi, Bella." He smiled.

My arms reached up to hug him and he let me. Jacob wrapped his arms around my still shaking frame that had nothing to do with the wind, and he hugged me. I allowed myself to tear again. I touched his shoulder, slowly making my way to the top of his neck, cautiously patting his head and hair. His beautiful and remarkably ebony-colored, short hair. It felt wonderful. I almost passed out from blissfulness when Paul screamed out, "God! Get a room, you two!"

Jacob just squeezed me tighter and placed his head into my neck. His breathing quickened as he softly said in my ear, "I missed you so much, Bells."

I ran my hand through his hair again. I couldn't believe how long I had been without seeing him. Even though it really was only for a handful of minutes out of the week, it didn't feel long enough. It felt unreal. And to hear him state so willingly that he had missed me too seemed to make this moment more like a dream than I thought possible.

I kissed the side of his face and whispered, "I missed you too."

*A/N: Thank you to all my past reviewers, you get this - :-) To the people who haven't reviewed me, not even once - :-(

Your reviews are my only means of patronage for this story. Push me over 100 reviews before I abandon all hopes and dreams for finishing this story before school work.

Oh, and the term 'hìtkwotl͌ítali' does really mean 'heartsick.' messed up the accent marks, so it looks different but that really is what it means.