Wow guys, Chapter 20 already! :D This story is going to drag on for A LOT longer than the original though, it seems! I didn't think it would...
Chapter 20: Vaati, Captured
Ezlo decided to travel with Ganny even though he was the last person on earth he would normally choose to travel with. The villainous mastermind was not AT ALL happy about this turn of events- where were his minions? Why was he left with this... thing?
"You look like a banana." he said to Ezlo. The former Minish ignored him.
"Ezlo... are you deaf? In fact, where ARE your ears? You don't have much of a face, you know. In fact..." Ganondorf stopped dead as a thought occurred to him. "How do you go to the toilet?"
Ezlo stopped as well. How *did* he go to the toilet? Had he ever BEEN to the toilet since Vaati had transfigured him? Wow. Now there was something he hadn't stopped to consider before.
He looked down at himself. He didn't seem to have many organs... maybe he had lost his digestive system during the transformation. Still, every living organism had the capability to excrete... was he not alive anymore!?
Ganondorf had marched on doggedly through the snow, completely oblivious to the hat's dilemma. Ezlo eventually pulled himself together enough to hop after him, knowing that he would not have the willpower to find Ganondorf again should the man get himself lost. He expected to find travelling through snow difficult, but found that the absence of legs facilitated him somewhat in that matter- he could slide across the powdery substance and create a smooth ice trail behind him. To his delight, he slid past Ganny quite easily and did a neat figure- of- eight.
"I can do that too!" He heard the villain behind him. "Watch me!"
Ezlo didn't even get a chance to turn around before he heard the inevitable thump. There was a silence in which Ezlo rolled his eyes, sighed, and prepared for the inevitable onslaught of howling- which came soon enough.
While Ganondorf was howling...
Shadow and Old Guy both heard his wails, deep in discussion as they were about the new items. They both turned their head towards the source of the noise, and wheras Old Guy (with his slowly developing dementia) could only faintly recognise it, Shadow recognised it at once.
"Isn't that your mast-" Old Guy began. Shadow hushed him frantically and pushed them both into the darkest corner he could find.
"Why are you avoiding your master?" the old man enquired, as Shadow scrunched up his face and tensed his entire body. The howls faded and grew quieter, until they echoed off into silence again.
"Because... I want to become an independent villain! I'm sure I can work on my [CENSORED] own..."
"Well..." Old Guy saw his advantage. "You need a lot of items to be able to do that..."
While Old Guy was busy exploiting Shadow Link...
Vaati strode through the trees doggedly, not sure whether he should search for Ganny or Shaddy first. He didn't particularly want to be around either of them, but his Minish heart was too "kind" to allow them to die alone in the forest. He may as well have a laugh at their expense first.
He decided that Ganondorf should be his priority. As if in answer, he heard his master's howling cry reverberate around the forest.
There was a whimpering from the trees above him. Vaati looked up, wondering what on earth lived in trees and made that sound. He walked over to the nearest tree and squinted up into the branches, trying to avoid the flurries of snow that tumbled from above.
A brown owl, with a stern face that looked very much like a discerning headmaster's, glared down at him.
"Could you PLEASE shut that man up? I don't know who on earth it is, but he obviously has no regard for the other living organisms in this forest." the owl hissed.
Vaati was not shocked to hear an animal talk- in fact, it was quite common in Hyrule- but he had never seen one talk as coherently as this.
"I'll help you the best I can. Being an owl, you probably have good hearing...?"
"Indeed I do! In fact..." the owl paused, seemingly to aurally observe his environment. He raised an eyebrow. "You just blew off."
"Impressive!" Vaati muttered, trying to hide his embarrassement.
"You can help me, right?" the owl enquired. "Do you know the man who's making this infernal racket?"
"Yes, I do. And if you could take me to him, I may be able to make him fall quiet. I'm one of his... servants."
Before Vaati could stop to consider how humiliated he was to have to admit this, he gasped as his wrists were gripped in steel- like talons. The owl had swooped down quickly in a rustle of leaves and branches and had lifted the mage high into the air, and now hovered just over the tips of the trees in the forest. His sharp eyes tracked anything that moved below, and it was not long before he noted the appearance of a large blob in the distance.
"Stop wriggling will you!" he hissed to the mage. "I think I found something!"
"YOU- ARE- CUTTING- ME- OPEN!" Vaati hissed back.
"Unless I see your actual internal organs I refuse to let go of you! You promised to help, and you're going to stay true to your word!"
"It'll be a bit late by the time you've cut me open down to internal organs! I'll probably be DEAD!"
"Wow, biology expert, aren't you?"
"Shut up!"
"You shut up!"
Their bickering, however, was interrupted by the sound of flapping wings.
"Really? That's very vague. Since an owl is already featured in this chapter and is currently flapping its wings-" Vaati sighed.
These wings that were flapping were much larger than the owl's.
"Shouldn't you give the owl a name?"
The owl's name was Kaepora Gaebora.
"Ooof! Knew it."
The flapping grew louder as whatever was approaching drew nearer. Kaepora hovered in mid- air, looking frantically around him for a sign of what the source of the flapping might be. Vaati, since his arms were near to being pulled off and he was very nearly hypothermic from being in the snow so long (as well as exhausted from arguing with the author- breaking the fourth wall takes a lot of energy), had fallen fast asleep.
When Kaepora saw what was happening, his ears flattened back in fright.
A slender pale man, dressed in nothing but a white jumpsuit, was flapping through the air towards them. He was obviously struggling, having had some arbitrary and totally unfit for purpose wings attatched to his arms using parachute strings. The wings themselves were strung together with catgut and made of feathers and tracing paper. The supports were whittled- down iron poles.
The author stopped and smiled, pleased with her description.
"Excuse me!?" came a self- righteously furious voice. "Shouldn't your description- if it can even be called that- be focused on ME!?"
Dark Link stood on top of Ghirahim. He was a fat poohead who-
The author felt a judder go through her suddenly. The world suddenly became a happier, quieter place as she realised her true purpose. "All hail Dark." she muttered to herself, without realising she was doing so. "All hail Dark."
Dark Link stood majestically on top of Ghirahim. He surveyed the landscape below him with a faint, sophisticated smile. He knew that with one click of his fingers, the people below would bow to him. He knew that his pathetic minion would crawl back from any injuries he sustained in battle with these imbeciles to serve him, because was he not a kind and loving master who cared for his lackeys? He smirked. Of course he wasn't. Those who served him served him because they were well versed in the consequences if they refused to.
Now, what was this he saw before him? Aahh, luckily it was the most intelligent member of the three villains he had encountered before. He couldn't remember his name- why bother remembering the names of those that will end up dead?- but even so, he felt a warm glow at encountering his almost-equal. At least, when they did end up in a battle that would inevitably lead to Purple's death, it would be a fair match. A light challenge for once. Not that Purple was currently in the best situation. He was dangling from the talons of a freaked- looking owl.
"Vaati..." Kaepora muttered out of the side of his mouth. "Why are you two just staring at eachother?"
"Because Dark's still having an internal third- person monologue. I wish he'd hurry up." Vaati muttered.
"You know what... I think I'd better ditch you now. Not that I don't want to get in any fights or anything..."
"Don't you DARE! You intend to drop me that far!? You better stay RIGHT HERE and hold me, or I'll clip your wings!"
"Oh, because THAT would be the smart choice if you want to stay suspended, wouldn't it?"
"Shut up!"
Dark snorted as he listened in to this conversation. This could only be better if that animal excreted on his head.
A sudden drop in altitude brought him back to his own situation. He glared down at Ghirahim, who flapped frantically to try and get himself and his master back to their original height.
"Tired, Ghira?" Dark asked.
Ghirahim gulped. "Ever so slightly."
There was the hiss of a sword being drawn from a belt, and Ghirahim felt the cold metal touch his throat. Dark's smooth voice sounded close to his ear. "Are you saying I need to lose weight, Ghirahim? Because if you are, I may get a bit... offended."
"Oh no no no I'm not implying ANYTHING of the sort, O holy Master, why you're an absolute stick, you could slip through the grating of a million drains, you could-"
"Alright, alright, cut your babbling." Dark muttered in disgust, and the sword was withdrawn.
What happened next happened too quickly for even the swift- minded Vaati to compute. Without even seeming to move his arm, Dark hurled the sword towards Kaepora in a fleeting action. His aim was dead on, and it skimmed over the top of the owl's head. (There is to be no bloodshed or hurting of innocent animals in this story... unless you count Ganondorf, of course).
Kaepora instinctively ducked, and followed the natural inclination of living organisms to put their own survival above others'. He let go of Vaati and wheeled away with a frantic screech, anticipating the next shot. It never came. Dark had done what he needed to.
"Down, Ghirahim!" he commanded. Ghirahim allowed himself a relieved sigh and rested his arms, and the two plummeted to earth.
Vaati saw the ground approaching quickly, and closed his eyes. Finally, this was what dying was like. No more Ganondorf, no more Shadow, no more- He had a mental image of Hell and realised with a jerk of horror that the Devil had Ganny's face. His eyes shot open.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" he began howling, but the breath was knocked out of his lungs as he collided with Dark and Ghira mid- flight. Ghirahim, with one last effort, swooped up just as the three were destined to hit the ground full force. Dark had caught Vaati neatly and was holding him in his arms.
"Hang on, author. No yaoi." Dark snapped.
The author's eye twitched, but she muttered "All hail Dark" and obliged.
Before Vaati could comprehend what was happening, Ghirahim had swooped up and away in the direction of Dark Link's lair.
*pffft* Okay, I admit to getting a little sidetracked during this chapter. There was a lot of Vaati and not much else... jeez have we really been waiting two chapters to find out what kind of item Shadow's got from Old Guy!? Could the author possibly be struggling for ideas? Noooooooo xD she just likes procrastinating!
MENTIONS!
Swamp Dragon Princess: *bows down* Voila! Dark is safe! How he ever managed to crawl out from under that wall is beyond me... maybe your frantic rescue efforts did indeed bring him back to life! ;P We shall see.
aah... the shame of plea bargaining... xD
Wraith's Heart: YOU FOOL! What have you unleashed!? *ducks for cover as missile shoots over my head* You released this abomination! You can take him away again, thanks!
Aaah, it was great! :D We go to the same place every year just to feed the little birds there, we only went in the sea like once or twice and the first time we did, my little sister floated out into a shipping lane on a rubber ring -.- How on earth she managed that I don't know, but I had to swim out and get her. And hmm... maybe my presence on this site encourages EVERYONE to update because I'm so fabulous ;P jkjk Yeah... I am pretty rubbish, aren't I? xD Still, it encourages me to write more. I shouldn't really enjoy causing pain to my characters so much. x3 And you're right, there are a lot of pretty bad plot points in here xD Why hello there Prayer! *waves innocently* How are you good sir? What a nice fire!
DemonSorceressRinato808: Hang on... Vaati dating one of his creations!? That's strange on so many levels. Wouldn't that be incest? And since one of his creations is Shadow Link... O.O (then again, there's a ton of VaatixShadow going around the Internet so I wouldn't be surprised). And yeah! You should create an evil plan to free them from Ganny's clutches once and for all! :D Thing is, if you get caught, all three of you would probably be murdered. The guy is ruthless. Then again, if your plan succeeds and Ganny's overthrown, YOU could be the ultimate ruler of Hyrule and all the realms beyond! :D But you'd certainly have to kill or at least seal him first. Four Sword ho! *wields sword enthusiastically*