Elena's heels dropped to the floor with a clunk, and she rested her head against the closed door wearily. God, her head was pounding so badly that it was as if a musician from some metal band was inside her brain, beating away on the drums. Her skin seemed to itch from the inside and no matter how much she scratched it did nothing to relieve it. In other words, she felt like shit.
Her little spat with Stefan only seemed to make her feel worse, too. Who the hell did he think he was, anyways? Practically choking her baby brother against a wall when he simply could have come to her for answers. Yeah, she knew that he was bound to find out eventually. But Caroline had to spread the news to him as if it was some sort of trivial piece of gossip, and that pissed Elena off. Who did Caroline think she was? She was supposed to be Elena's best friend, not Stefan's. Of course Elena was glad that they were friends; Stefan needed a friend like Caroline and she knew that the two were very fond of each other. But Caroline and Elena had been friends since kindergarten for Christ's sake.
She took the pins out of her hair and let it fall around her shoulders, scratching her scalp with her fingernails. She would definitely give her 'best friend' a piece of her mind soon.
Noises coming from the living room interrupted her train of thought, and she followed them barefoot until she reached the living room. Jeremy was busy playing Black Ops on the couch, while Damon lounged in the armchair Ric used to occupy all the time. A spark shot up Elena's spine at seeing him; his suit jacket was off and he had the sleeves of the white button down rolled up to his elbows, a few top buttons undone. How did he always manage to look so gorgeous?
Deciding to ignore that train of thought, Elena walked into the room and sat next to Jeremy. "Letting my underage brother drink, Damon?" She asked, noting the beer bottles that sat in front of both of them.
Damon shrugged. "My brother almost choked him to death. I figured he deserved a drink."
Jeremy mumbled his agreement, and then groaned and threw the remote control down. "Fucking 'lordskinny19' keeps killing me, even though we're on the same team." He complained, nodding towards the statistics on the screen.
Elena sighed at his language. When exactly did he start cussing so much? "I'm sure you'd rather be fake killed by 'lord skinny' than by my ex boyfriend."
Damon smirked at her comment, while Jeremy nodded. "Yeah, Stefan's kind of an asshole."
"Finally, somebody else is realizing this besides me." Damon announced, reclining back in the chair and bringing his beer bottle to his lips.
"Oh, I realized it a long time ago." Elena's brother sighed quietly, and she looked up at him in shock. He stared back at her, "What? He is. Guy only ever talks to me when it has something to do with you. Most of the time, he just ignored me."
Elena frowned. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't even seen Stefan talk to Jeremy more than a handful of times. How had she not noticed that?
"Jeremy-" Elena started, but he interrupted her.
"It's okay, 'Lena. I don't really care, he's kind of boring anyways." And with that, he down the rest of his beer and stomped up stairs.
Damon grinned after him. "I'm liking that kid more and more."
Elena rolled her eyes, and switched the TV settings so it was on normal television. Trying not to be too obvious, she scooted to the edge of the couch, so that she was closer to where Damon sat. If he noticed, he didn't say anything.
Some scary movie was on about aliens, and Elena forced herself to concentrate on it and not on the man sitting next to her. What the hell was wrong with her these days? It seemed that Damon was on her mind, like, all the time. She constantly felt herself looking forward to seeing him more than anyone else, and simply seeing him sent her heart onto a runaway train.
She had tried to tell him this at the pageant, but the look on his face seemed to tell her that he didn't really want to hear it. Had he already moved on? Fell out of love with her over the year that they had been seperated? Wasn't absence supposed to make the heart grow fonder? In her case, it did, probably more than she wanted to admit. But what about him? Did he miss her at all while he had been gone?
Elena peered over at him, and her eyes fell upon his wrist. The leather bracelet that she first saw when he came back was still there, and irrational suspicion swelled up in her.
"What is that?" She asked him, nodding towards the bracelet.
Damon glanced over at her, then down at his wrist. "A bracelet." He said, the 'duh' implied.
She sighed, "I mean... Where'd you get it?" She asked again, afraid of his answer for no reason at all.
He shifted, taking a swig of the beer without taking his eyes from the TV before he shrugged. "A friend gave it to me."
A friend. Jealousy arose up inside her heart and she crossed her arms, angry and hurt. A friend? A girlfriend? Damon's 'girlfriends' never lasted; usually he never gave two craps about them. Look at Andie Starr; she was compelled and fed on, and when she died Damon didn't exactly break down crying. Whoever gave it to him must have been pretty damn important, because Elena knew Damon Salvatore would never don a freaking bracelet for just anybody.
Damon must have sensed her thoughts, because he chuckled a moment later and leaned back. "Relax. Don't go getting all 'jelly' on me, she was just a friend, and I'm pretty sure she'd be more interested in you than me." He mused, then smirked. "Although I certainly tried to get her to change her ways."
A deep red settled over Elena's cheeks. She was embarrassed that he had read her so easily, but relieved at the same time. Whoever this friend was, she didn't swing Damon's way, and that cheered her up. Elena was glad that he had made a friend while he had been away. Although, if she was a lesbian and she saw Damon, she'd probably jump his bones anyways-
Stop! Stop stop stop.
She gulped. "Oh." Was all she managed to get out.
Damon looked over at her and smirked, like he knew exactly what she was thinking. Elena sank further into the couch.
They continued watching the movie, a weird energy floating between them, and Elena's skin prickled. Suddenly, her headache picked back up at full force and a wave of nausea washed over her. Elena groaned unconsciously.
"Elena?" Damon asked, eyebrows scrunched together in concern. "You okay?"
"Yes.. No, I don't know." She answered honestly, rubbing her temples and swallowing back vile. A cold sweat settled over her.
Suddenly, he was on the couch next to her, his fingers massaging her neck in soothing circles. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "You still feeling shitty?" He asked her quietly.
Elena swallowed, but she wasn't swallowing back vomit this time. His fingers on her felt so good. She leaned into him unconsciously.
"I'll take that as a yes." He chuckled softly, and then he moved his hand away. She frowned in disappointment, but a moment later she heard a very familiar sound, and then his bleeding wrist was held out in front of her.
"Damon..." Elena breathed, staring at blood running from the twin marks. Once, she despised vampire blood. It had been shoved down her throat one too many times by the same person who was offering it to her now. But something had changed, and she found herself actually wanting to drink from him, to taste the salty liquid life that was purely Damon, to have it drip down her throat slowly. But still, she hesitated. Surely, some tylenol could make her feel just as better?
"Come on, Elena. I know you want to." He waggled his arm in front of her mockingly.
She did want to. And she didn't want to take tylenol. She wanted his blood. So she leaned forward, and took it.
Elena moaned when the blood filled her mouth and ran down her throat, and her headache immediately vanished. Still, she kept drinking. The way his lips were pressed into her hair, so much like the other day when they were in the shower, was addicting. He pulled her onto his lap and pressed her close, and that was even more addicting.
Finally, she managed to tear her mouth away. They were both breathing heavily, staring at each other. There was nothing on Elena's mind except the thought of doing the one thing she had regretfully thought of for years now. But right now, it didn't feel so regretful. So she did it. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
Damon sucked in a breath and stilled for a moment, and then he relaxed and pulled her closer. God, she had forgotten how good this was. Their last kiss had been in Denver, on that grimy motel balcony with the sterile-like lights illuminating them. She still dreamed of the way his hands roamed up and down her body, how his body felt against hers while she was pressed to that rough wall, how desperate his lips had been. And then Jeremy had interrupted them, and not two hours later, she practically ripped his heart out.
At that thought, she scrabbled to get closer to him. She wanted to show him that this time was different, that she was different.
Elena tilted her head to the side to kiss him deeper, and he clutched her closer, so that her knees gripped both sides of his waist. His hands left flames in their wake as they traveled up her thighs, pushing her dress up. She wound her fingers through his hair, caressing the silky strands. When his lips traveled to her neck, she moaned unconsciously. Then, he froze.
Immediately, she was pushed roughly away and she fell clumsily down on the couch while he stood up.
"No. No. I am not doing this with you. Not now." He gritted out angrily, grabbing his jacket, ready to leave.
Somehow, she found the strength to stand up, confused. "Damon, wait-"
"No!" He exclaimed. "This is exactly what you did in Denver. You kissed me and ripped my heart out an hour later." Elena cringed at his words, which were almost an exact repetition of her earlier thoughts. "I'll leave this fucking town before that happens again."
Elena froze, and tears gathered in her eyes. Leave? "But you promised-"
He laughed, and the laugh chilled Elena to the bones. "I don't care." He spit out, and then he was gone.
Elena sat on the couch, dress almost pushed up to her waist and her mouth a swollen red. Then she cried.
"Another one, Matt. Please." She sighed, dropping her head down onto the wooden bar top as she studied her high ball glass, which contained nothing but melting ice.
A sigh reverberated in front of her. "Elena-"
She sat up and stared at her long time friend. "Don't, Matt. You know I'm not stupid, I'll leave my car here and walk home if I'm too drunk to drive."
A moment passed before she heard the sound of liquid pouring into a glass. Her glass. Thank God.
"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" He asked, his blue eyes narrowed in concern. "I already know it's about one of the Salvatores; it always is."
Elena flinched, and slowly shook her head, but felt thankful regardless. "No, Matt, I'm sure. But thanks."
He smiled, "Anytime, 'Lena." Matt bid before heading off to serve other customers.
Why couldn't she love Matt? He was so sweet and innocent, and she knew he'd do anything for her. Loving him would be so simple. Loving Stefan had been pretty simple. He had been exactly what she had needed, and then he just wasn't anymore. Elena wasn't exactly sure when it had happened, but she had fallen out of love with Stefan, while they had still been together. Yet she was oblivious to it; she was oblivious to her own freaking feelings for crying out loud. She was stupid. So, so stupid.
Yes, she had been oblivious to her own feelings. She had been oblivious to falling out of love with Stefan. She had been oblivious to falling in love with his brother. Yes, Elena had come to the conclusion that she was, indeed, one hundred percent in love with Damon Salvatore. And he didn't want her, was scared to want her, and that was all her fault. Because she had been a scared little girl who didn't know what she had wanted, and now she was paying for it.
Elena wanted to think that the kiss had proven that he had still felt something for her... but now, after stating that he was going to leave and not caring that he promised her, again, that he wouldn't, she wasn't sure.
Damon Salvatore did not love her anymore.
With that thought, she drowned the rest of her drink and stood up, wobbling a bit. Elena pushed through people until she was out the back doors that lead to the alleyway between the Grill and a clothing store. Almost immediately, she bumped into somebody.
"Watch where you're- Elena?" The person asked, and Elena looked up to see a familiar face.
Heather Fell stood in front of her, a girl she had gone to school with up until sophomore year, when she had been sent away. There were never any clear answers as to why her parents decided to send her to South Carolina, but Elena had heard the rumors. Drugs, drinking, and sex at too young of an age. Elena being Elena hadn't wanted to believe it, because they had always been kind-of friends growing up.
"Heather, hi! When did you get back into town?" Elena asked pleasantly, leaning into the wall.
The brunette smiled, "About a week ago. I decided it was time for a visit. You look great, though!" She exclaimed, grinning.
"Thanks, so do you." Elena replied on instinct, and then took a moment to really look at Heather. The lights coming from inside allowed her to really see her, and Elena noticed the girl's pupils were dilated to pinpoints. Her eyelids dropped lazily down, half concealing her hazel eyes and her body was slumped. Elena immediately recognized the look.
She had seen it on herself, in the mirror for the past year.
Heather was high.
Elena cleared her throat, her eyes narrowing. "Are you...?"
Heather's narrowed her eyes, and then caught on and her grin widened while she nodded slyly.
Elena took a deep breath, "On what?" Even though she already knew.
"Oh, Elena. It's the best stuff, like, ever. I feel so amazing." She breathed before digging around in her pocket and pulling out a tiny bag half way filled with tiny blue pills. "Oxycontin."
Elena's lower lip trembled as she stared at the pills. She had never taken Oxycontin before, she had always been into the lighter stuff. But right now, those tiny blue pills seemed to be glowing, calling out for her.
Heather must have noticed. "You want some?" She asked, then pushed the bag at Elena. "Take 'em all. I've got a lot more, anyways. Think of it as a gift for that time you let me copy your English final freshman year. If I hadn't of passed that test, I would've failed."
A bad taste settled in Elena's mouth, and her heart yearned for the pills, but her head told her no. Heather was giving them to her for free though, and that didn't mean she had to take them. She could just hold onto them, just in case...
She felt her own arm reach out, felt the bag drop into her hand. "Th-thanks." She breathed, staring at the pills.
"Don't worry about it." Heather's voice interrupted her stupor, and she snapped up and quickly slid the bag into her pocket. "Hit me up if you want some more. I'll see you around, Elena." And with that, she shouldered past her and walked into the Grill.
Several deep breaths later, Elena started the walk home, the bundle in her pocket burning her the whole way.
A/N: Hey! I'm SO sorry it's been so long, but I've been testing for the last few weeks and haven't had time to type this out. Again, I'm sorry :(
I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I know I was going to say something but I really can't remember now even though I know I will later. Oh well. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!