Thanks for the reviews, guys.

One big part and two smalls here.

Everytime I proof this something crashes. I give up

Unrelated- This is fun.

ii

When Rory came to, she had absolutely no idea where she was. She could hear birds singing outside. Someone had left a window open, and there was a cool breeze blowing across the back of her neck. It felt nice as her whole body felt hot and sticky. Every muscle in her body hurt, especially her right knee, and she had no idea why. Her head was pounding as if a few of those little cartoon woodpeckers were perched on her temples. Her mouth tasted like dirt.

Two and two finally added up in her withered brain and she was already moaning, "Oh, no!" as she jumped to her feet. "Oh, no, no, no," she groaned, and stumbled around in a circle. Blearily, she wiped the dirt from her mouth and looked around her.

A lumpy blanket on the ground shifted and began moaning. Rory jerked it off and stumbled on to the ground. "Mom?"

"I'm dead," The Lorelai-shaped lump moaned. "Dead!"

"Why are we outside?" Rory cried.

"Outside?" Lorelai's basic English comprehension seemed to be lacking today.

"Yes, outside. Birds, grass, Julie Andrews twirling around in circles, and Wilson from Home Improvement peering over the fence. Grab a shovel, hi ho."

Lorelai pulled her head up as high as she could and regarded her daughter with half-closed eyes. She looked up and glanced at the sky. "Oh, you meant outside," she said, and pulled the blanket back over her head.

"Mom!" Rory pulled herself on to her feet again and winced at the sound of her own voice. "What's going on? I can't remember anything. Why am I wearing a pink feather boa?"

"Party," said the blanket. "Wedding. Last night."

"Wedding Party?"

"Ba…batch," Lorelai attempted, and then gave up. She stuck out hand from under the blanket. "Tequila?"

Rory, on the other hand, was finally starting to catch up. "Your bachelorette party was last night? Oh, I remember now! We went to that strip club in Woodbridge. I befriended a very nice stripper. But how did we end up outside?"

"Tequila!"

"I think it was starry. Were we having a picnic?"

Lorelai pulled herself onto her elbows and lifted her head until it was peeking out of the blanket. There were twigs in her hair, and dirt on her forehead. Several strands of hair framing in her face were stuck to her mouth. "Honey, Mommy needs some Jose before she can do the word thing."

"There's a bottle of something beside you," Rory motioned with her hand.

She watched as her mother took a swig and gagged. "Ugh. Burny." She handed it to Rory. "Drink. Cure."

Rory regarded the bottle warily and took a tentative sip. She gagged and spat it out as her mother laughed stupidly at her. "Lightweight!" Lorelai admonished, and took the bottle back.

"Seriously, though," Rory asked when Lorelai had her fill. "How did we get outside?"

"For shame, daughter. You really are a terrible drinker. You wouldn't let us go inside because Luke and Jess were in there."

Rory frowned. "Why would that be a problem? Luke lives here; Jess is taking the couch…"

"I can't quote you exactly. But you did mention jumping Jess' bones if not held back, which we will have a talk about later, by the way, but for now I need coffee."

"I didn't say that!" Rory squeaked. "No way did I say that."

"It doesn't matter, it's not like he heard you." Lorelai heaved herself to her feet. "Unless he's been there since last night." She pointed to the porch, where Jess was sitting reading a book and drinking coffee.

Rory sighed sadly. "I want coffee."

"JESS!" Lorelai shouted hoarsely and so abruptly that Jess spilled coffee on his lap. The force of her shout knocked her off her feet a little, and she stumbled a little.

"What the hell is your malfunction?" Jess shouted.

"We need coffee!"

Jess stared at her, speechless. He looked at Rory, then at Lorelai, then back to Rory. Finally he closed his mouth, held up his hands and retreated into the house. By the time he returned, the girls had made it to the rocking bench on the verandah. The rocking motion seemed to be making them feel a lot worse. Jess handed them their coffees and returned to his book. The girls sipped in silence, their ability to chatter needing a little recovery time. The length of time was the lifetime of a cup of coffee. Lorelai excused herself, and stumbled up to bed. Rory stayed behind, rocking herself into a daze as Jess immersed himself in Dharma Burns.

"Good night?" Jess asked nonchalantly, not looking up from his book.

"Mmmm," Rory smiled lazily. "Did you put the blankets on us?"

"I only came out here about an hour ago. Luke left for work about five, it must have been him." He turned a page, mouth twitching into something approaching a smile for him. "Why did you decide to camp out, anyway?"

"Door seemed far away," Rory shrugged. "Everything's a little fuzzy, to be honest. Thank God it was warm out."

Jess nodded. "I was just wondering if this is a pastime of yours. Getting up close with nature." He was teasing her, Rory knew, but she didn't mind.

"I learned from the best," she said proudly.

"Oh yeah, and who's that?"

"Jackson. He sleeps with his vegetables when there's a cold front coming in."

Jess rolled his eyes. "This is what I have to look forward to tonight- conversations about cauliflower."

Rory giggled. "You still have it all ahead of you. Are you excited?"

"It can't be worse than TJ's bachelor party."

"Is Luke excited?"

"Oh he's just chipper," Jess deadpanned. "He's picking up the neon body paint and glo-sticks as we speak."

"Oh God, get that image out of my head!" She slapped her forehead and giggled.

Jess closed his book with a snap and smiled a little. His eyes crinkled a little in the corners. His hair looked less black and more of a dark red under the morning sun. "You have plans for the day?"

"Fiftieth dress fitting with Grandma, so that'll take up most of the day. She'll probably insist we have dinner with them afterwards." She tried and failed to stifle a yawn with her feather boa. "Not so fun with a hangover. What about you?"

He looked around and shrugged. "This."

"I'm jealous. Are you giving a best man speech?"

"Nope. That was part of the deal."

"Lucky you, I have to write my speech yet."

"I'm sure it will be great."

"Thanks." Rory's voice was becoming thick with sleep. Within a minute she was curled up, head resting on the arm of the rocking couch. Jess watched her for longer than he cared to admit, and then went back to his book. The sounds of the creaking of the chair rocking back and forth soothed him into dozing for an hour.

It was the first extended conversation they had in years that hadn't ended in shouting.

iii

"This is the worst, and I mean the worst Engagement Party of all time!"

"It's not that bad!"

"Are you kidding me? Neither of our kids are here, my mother is drunk, and it's raining."

A beat. A glance around.

"Okay, yes. You're right. It's awful."

"Do you think anyone would notice if we sneak off?"

A soft brush of fingers. A giddy smile. Two giddy smiles.

"Who the hell cares?"

iv

"Well, basically, there are certain traditions, you know? White dress, priest, rings, bad food, bad band, bad mother-of-the-bride hats..."

"Yes..."

"And, while most of them mean nothing to me and everything to Emily Gilmore, I do find myself with the choice of TJ or Jackson as my best man."

"The eternal question: vegetables or tights?"

"Don't be smart. I'm asking you to be my best man, here."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"TJ will steal my deodorant again."

"Plant a dummy."

"Jackson wants to put up gourds instead of flowers. Gourds, Jess!"

"Very festive."

"Jess, please."

Silence.

"I'm not wearing tails."

"Deal."

"And I'm not making a speech."

"I'd be terrified to hear what you have to say, anyway."

"Absolutely no dancing."

"Even with the maid of honour?"

"Luke!"

"Sorry, sorry."

A quiet moment of balancing out the pros and cons.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

A quick exhalation of relief.

"Thanks Jess, really."

"Don't mention it."

Liked it? Please leave a review.