"Edward is getting out of the hospital tomorrow. Are you going to meet him there?" Riza asked.
"No. He's a big boy. I think he can do it all his own."
"He'll be disappointed. It's been three months, Colonel, since you've even see him. Aren't you being a little childish?"
Roy glared at her for the use of the word but she glared right back.
"Not, Lieutenant, I'm not. He's gone on mission longer than this before and no one has expected me to check up on him every five seconds."
"Colonel, you're being stupid!" Riza growled, having had enough. "If it were you in the hospital, he would have gone to see you every day and you know it!"
"You credit Fullmetal with too much compassion. He wouldn't have missed me at all."
Riza sighed and stood up straight.
"Sir. Forgive me for what I am about to do." She drew her hand back and smacked Roy across the face. "I'm sorry sir."
"What the hell, Hawkeye?!"
"You may have grown up but your thinking is as childish as ever. You know as well as I do that Edward would have visited you if not every day, then at least every week. Sure he would have nagged about not having an assignment and that you were holding him up but he would have been at the hospital doing it! He was there for you every step of the way during your transformation and he even offered to change your dirty diapers! Would you have done the same?!"
Roy looked away and Riza made a face.
"I think you need to rethink yourself, Colonel. Think about everything that he has done for you. I think you lost sight of that during this long process… Unless… unless you feel guilty for what happened? Is that it?"
Roy still looked away and Riza tried not to smile. It was so childish…
"Yes." He said, slowly turning back to her. "I couldn't go see him because I felt guilty. He turned old because of me, he almost died because of me. He was in that coma because of me. Seeing him only reminded me of what I did to him."
"How many times has things like this happened before?"
"It was different this time… It wasn't like before."
Riza nodded and sighed. "Do what you feel then, Colonel. I will support you as I have always done."
Roy nodded and Riza left.
Riza knocked on the door and waited outside for a moment. The door opened and Dr. Striker looked at her.
"Oh my, Lieutenant Hawkeye. What a surprise to see you here. Has something happened to the Colonel?"
"No… it's… complicated. May I come in?"
"Of course. Just don't bump into anything. I don't need another military officer in the same predicament or worse."
Riza nodded as she walked into the doctor's small apartment. As she moved about, she saw long tables with labels on them and a spotted chemistry tubes and beakers on the kitchen table.
"Terribly sorry for the mess but the military hasn't finished building another facility for me. They accepted my proposal!"
"That's wonderful, Doctor."
"Yes, but they said that I needed to whip up a new batch as soon as possible to test it in front of them. Since the series with the Colonel was under hush-hush surveillance, they never got to see the transformations. Which I don't mind, considering I wasn't really quite ready to try it outside of the facility. Anyway, I'm stuck with doing things here… What brings you by?"
"I was wondering if you could tell me any side effects that your serum might have."
"Side effects? Whatever do you mean?"
"Ever since he has gotten back to normal, his thinking has been off. He is not acting like himself. He's… almost childish."
Dr. Striker frowned. "How do you mean?"
"Well, for one, he didn't go see Edward once since he's been in the hospital. That is very unusual for him. When I confronted him about it, he finally told me that he felt guilty for it but it's not the same guilt that he would usually have. It's almost like… like when a child feels guilty for hurting an adult. It's all very strange."
Dr. Striker handed Riza a coffee cup and sipped on his own mug.
"Hmm… that's interesting indeed."
"He also avoids talking about Edward's predicament whenever I bring it up and sometimes I can tell he's almost brought to tears. This is not the man I served before. Does this have to do with the regression?"
"From what you have described, it sounds like he is having a guilty conscience and in essence, has a guilt complex. Tell me, does he have nightmares about his regression?"
"I don't really know. That's the other thing, he's stopped talking to me as a confidant. He used to trust me in everything and even though I feel that trust has not waned, I feel that he is not being as open as before."
"I see… Correct me if I am wrong but when he got to the younger stages in his life, when his mind was flickering, his view of you was different, right?"
"Me? Well, when he was flickering I was his subordinate or I would be his caretaker. I almost feel he viewed me as his mother in the much younger stages."
"And Mr. Elric?"
"He called him Uncle Edward and seemed very close to him."
"That makes sense then. He is, indeed, suffering from a guilt complex. When he was kidnapped and turned into a baby, he of course, didn't really remember you. Although in his heart of hearts he did. He stopped crying when he was with you and was happy when he was with Edward. He even trusted Edward by listening to him when he asked him to use what little power of Flame Alchemy he could. He trusted in you both to take care of him in his time of need. He had no doubts about your loyalty. I think the problem here is that he feels he should have been in control of some of the situations. He is your superior after all and it looks to me as if he feels guilty for not helping out anymore than he could. Especially with what happened with Mr. Elric."
"But we both know there was no way for him to do anything."
"True, but he still remembers it and so he is dwelling. Plus, the emotions he had for the both of you have changed drastically. He sees you both as more than subordinates. I'm sure he's very confused and, in turn, feeling guilty for feeling different."
"Is there anything I can do?"
Dr. Striker finished his coffee and only smiled at Riza.
"I'm afraid if you wanted to do anything, you would have to cross the line you know is there. As in, you would have to be that caretaker he tries to forget in order to understand. Adults are made from the children we were, Lieutenant, and even though he had a childhood, he had a second one. The second one is more prevalent to him and affects him now. I believe it is your job to help him feel less guilty about the second one."
Riza thought about for a moment and then nodded.
"I know what I must do."
"I'm glad."
She nodded again and finished her coffee.
"What in the world did you get into? I'm going to have to reconstruct the whole thing from the inside out!" Winry yelled at Edward in the hospital bed.
"Yeah… sorry…"
"How in the world could you have gotten the whole thing rusted out?! Both the arm and the leg."
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" Edward said, looking away.
He looked at the door but of course, Roy wouldn't be coming. *He never came…*
Winry could see that he was in deep thought and so just sighed.
"You'll need to give me a week to get you a good set for both the leg and the arm."
"A whole week?" Edward thought for a moment. "That's alright I guess." It's not like he'll come visit me at home either.
"Are you expecting something?"
"No, not really…"
"Besides, you get out tomorrow so it'll be a change of scenery. I'm going to take your measurements but also I'm going to reconstruct the arm first and then do the leg second. You'll have to be in a wheelchair."
"Agh! That wheelchair again! Why can't you just give me one of those ugly prosthetic things?"
"It's not like I just carry those around, you know?"
Edward sighed. "Fine… I'll catch up on some cases or something. I'll call the Colonel and have him bring me some files to worth on."
The phone rang in Roy's office and he absently picked it up.
"Colonel Mustang's office."
"Hey, Colonel."
Roy stopped writing immediately, his eyes widening.
"Fullmetal…"
"It's been a while, huh?"
"Y- yes, it has… um… how are you doing?"
"As well as can be expected. Winry is going to have to make a whole new set of automails for me."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, mine were all rusted out. I still can't believe that that serum even made the metal old." He laughed and Roy chuckled nervously. "Anyway, I'll be without limbs for a week or so, so I was wondering if you have any missions for me to look over for the future?"
"Uh… well… honestly, I haven't been looking for any for you…"
Edward smiled sadly. "I see. Not even on your mind, huh?"
"Not like that. I just mean I've been loaded down with a long time worth of papers… Even I haven't left the office for a single case."
"Ah, I see. Well… I guess I'll see you."
"Yeah."
Neither hung up as Edward played with the cord.
"You know that you can come see me, right? I never barred you from it."
"Yeah. I've been busy. Sorry, Fullmetal."
Edward smirked sadly and laughed a little. "I see how it is… You take care, Colonel."
He hung up the phone and ran his hand through his hair.
"Did he have something for you, Brother?" Alphonse asked.
"No… He's too busy with his life to care. We'll have to rely on ourselves to get you back to normal then. Come on…"
Alphonse helped Edward back to his room from the phones.
oh roy, you're still being so silly. and yay, edward's alright. but will they ever see each other face to face since roy is avoiding him? and what will riza have to do to get roy to get over his guilt? CAN roy get over his guilt? after all, it is a child's guilt...