Thanks to everyone who keeps reviewing. Sorry I haven't been very good at replying. Still have a few more crazy weeks left at work, but once things calm down, hopefully I'll have more time to respond properly. This chapter contains some implied adult themes...drug use, violence, and sexual situations. Hide the kiddies.

Chapter 34: Day 15, Continued

Linka is returning from her walk as I'm leaving the Crystal Chamber.

"Done playing video games already?" She asks. "What is wrong? Kwame and Ma-Ti keep beating you?"

"No way! You know better than that! And actually, I ended up playing alone. Couldn't get anyone that was willing to take me on!"

"I would take that challenge…if I were not so tired. I cannot believe it. It has not been long since I woke up, and that short little walk has exhausted me…and I can already feel my muscles tightening up."

"You haven't eaten yet and neither have I. How about we grab some grub and then I'll see what I can do about loosening up those muscles," I say.

"Nyet…I am not feeling like eating…but I will take you up on your offer about loosening up my muscles."

"Sorry Babe…you gotta eat. No eating, no massage! Besides, keeping hydrated and eating right will help with the muscle tension and cramping. Now come on, there's a glass of water and a banana loaded with potassium in the kitchen with your name all over them!"

She sighs and relents…with just a bit of sarcasm,

"Daaaaa, Dr. Wheeler. If you insist."

"I do," I say as I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her to my side while we walk towards the kitchen.

After lunch, we head to Linka's room so I can keep my promise to give her a massage. She kicks off her shoes and takes off her vest before plopping face down onto her bed. I start at her feet, rubbing my thumbs over the arches. I can't resist tickling her.

She shrieks and giggles into her pillow and yanks her feet out of my hands before hurling the pillow in my direction. I bat it down and chuckle.

"Wheeler! You are supposed to be relaxing me!"

"Sorry, couldn't resist. I'm done now. Promise."

She turns her head to look at me before cautiously slipping her legs back down towards me.

"I mean it Yankee…I WILL kick you!"

"Ok, ok! No more funny business," I say as I take her calves in my hands and resume my massage.

Over the next half hour, I make my way all over her body, from her legs, to her lower back, shoulders, and neck.

"How ya feelin' now Babe?"

When she doesn't answer, I look down to see that she's fallen asleep. Sounds like a good idea. I take off my shoes and lay down next to her on the bed, pulling a blanket from the bottom of her bed to cover us. I wish I could curl up behind her and hold her, but my injured side restricts me. I'll have to settle for lying on my back.

When I wake up, Linka is snuggled up against my side, her arm around my waist, careful to avoid my injury. I try to move my arm to put it around her without disturbing her, but unfortunately, she wakes up.

"Sorry Babe. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It is ok…I have slept long enough. I am sorry I fell asleep, but your massage was so relaxing…"

"That's the point. Glad it worked."

I think about the conversation that I had with Gaia. And I'm probably over thinking things, but I can't stop second guessing…she said that Linka and I were not ready for a relationship…YET. I guess all I can do is take Gaia's advice and let things progress on their own…don't force the issue…but I have to know…

"Are you happy Linka?"

"With what?"

"With…this…"

"'This?' As in needing a massage to ease the pains caused by something as minor as taking a walk? To not have an appetite for any of the foods that I used to love? To be so cold, I feel like I am stuck outside in a Siberian winter, when in reality, I am on a tropical island? To know that I am incapable of helping my team on missions because I am not well enough to be useful? That my teammates do not have confidence in me? Nyet…I am not happy."

That's not what I meant.

"No, I guess you haven't had much to be happy about recently. But that's not what I meant. I meant right now…when you woke up. Were you happy?"

"Da…it is one of the few times that I am happy. When I am with you…"

"Ok…good," I say as I pull her closer against my side.

"That is all you needed to know?"

"Yeah. I guess I just needed to make sure."

"I am sorry…I should say it more often…to let you know. The only times I have been happy throughout this whole ordeal has been when I am with you," she says as she rises up on her elbow to look me in the eyes.

"I'm just glad I can be here for you. And I'll always be here, even when you're all better and you don't need me anymore. I'll still always be around," I say as I brush my hand across her cheek.

She places her hand over mine and holds it to her cheek.

"I will never be 'all better' Wheeler. There will always be that temptation…that feeling that Bliss gave me…I know it was a false happiness, but it was unlike anything I have ever felt before. If there was a safe, legal way of getting that feeling…I would do it in an instant…and that worries me. Because what if there was an unsafe, illegal way of getting that same feeling…would I do anything for that also?"

I can think of a few safe, legal ways of replacing the feeling Bliss gave her.

"So you don't think anything else will ever make you happy? That no other happiness will ever top the feeling that Bliss gave you?" I ask.

"I do not know…I just know that I need to avoid anything that will make me sad."

"Like missions? Or going back to the Soviet Union for that dinner you were talking about?"

"Nyet…I think I will be fine for those things. You will be there on missions…and you were going to come back to the Soviet Union with me, da?"

"Sure…if you still want me to."

"Da…I still want you to…I need you to."

"Then I'll be there…always, like I promised."

"Spasiba," she says as she lies her head back down on my shoulder.

Time to fess up…

"I uh…I ran into Gaia earlier."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…I asked her why she's been avoiding you."

"You should not have done that Wheeler."

"But I found out why…you'd be surprised," I say.

I go on to explain to Linka that Gaia felt guilty about what happened to her and that she was ashamed to be around her. Linka doesn't seem too happy with me at first…she's doing a good job of controlling her temper, but I can tell that she feels a little betrayed. I let her get her feelings out and I explain to her my reasons behind why I did what I did. In the end, I think we come to an understanding.

"So you see, if you wanted to talk to Gaia, she'd really like to help you. I think it'd be good for both of you to help the healing process."

"Perhaps you are right."

"Whoa? Say that again? I think I misunderstood you!" I tease.

"You are right Wheeler!" She says with mock surrender.

"Mark this date on the calendar!"

"Very funny wise guy…keep it up and I may change my mind!"

"Ok, ok," I say as I get up out of bed and hold my hand out to her. "Let's start the healing process, shall we?"

She takes my hand and we put on our shoes before heading to the Crystal Chamber to see Gaia.

"Gaia? Are you still here?" I ask.

"Yes Wheeler, come on in," she says as she appears before us. "Hello again. And hello Linka…how are you feeling?"

"Ok I guess…getting a little better every day."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it…Linka, I owe you an apology. I understand that I have been giving the impression that I'm avoiding you and that I was upset with you. I'm sorry you felt that way…that was not my intention. I was upset with myself. I felt guilty for making you a target of Skumm. I thought you would be mad at me for putting you in that position too, that's why I was avoiding you."

Linka is finally letting out all the emotions she's been bottling up. She clings to me as she sobs, telling Gaia how she's been made to feel. Gaia in turn, explains to Linka why she reacted the way she did…and she reiterates to Linka her importance on this team. It's exactly what Linka needed to hear. She leaves my side and goes to Gaia. I stand there, watching with a satisfied smile…I did this. I fixed things. Everything is gonna be ok. When Linka returns to me, she gives me a smile. She knows I'm feeling pretty proud of myself.

Gaia tells Linka that I had suggested there might be something she needed to talk to her about and Linka nods and admits that she would like her help in remembering anything that she may have buried in her subconscious. Gaia happily agrees to help, just as I knew she would.

"Let's go back to your room for some privacy," Gaia suggests.

We arrive back at Linka's room and wait for Gaia to appear. Linka seems nervous. I run my hand soothingly up and down her back to try and relax her. Gaia shows up and Linka steps away from me, her cheeks reddening as if we were two teenagers who just got caught making out by a parent.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Linka?" Gaia asks.

"Da. It is time I put all of this behind me and move forward."

"Lay down Beautiful. We'll get this thing underway," I say, directing her to the bed.

"You will stay, right?"

"Absolutely. I'm not leavin' your side," I say as I pull a chair next to her bed.

She smiles at me, places her hand on my knee, and squeezes to let me know she's appreciative.

I contemplate taking her hand and holding it throughout the process. I don't know if she'd want that, especially considering how quickly she moved away from me when Gaia entered the room. Linka removes her hand from my knee and folds her hands over her stomach.

"Ok Linka, just relax and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly," Gaia instructs.

Other than closing my eyes because I don't want to stop looking at Linka, I'm doing the breathing exercises along with her until I'm also feeling pretty relaxed.

"I want you to concentrate now…think back to when Skumm had you. What can you see?"

"I see Boris…he is sleeping on the floor. I am…in a bed…Skumm's bed. There are girls coming to the door…pounding, begging for entrance. One of Skumm's henchmen opens the door. They all come in…there are so many…too many for Skumm. He makes them beg…some of them fight. It is horrible…Bozhe moy! They are killing each other! He selects a few and then instructs his henchmen to take their pick of the remaining girls…Boris is awake now too…he also gets to pick. Nyet Boris! These girls are filthy! There is no telling what diseases they have picked up from these rats!"

"It's ok Linka…it's all over…this is all in the past…it's not really happening now. Just keep relaxing…remember to breathe," Gaia says. "Are you ready to continue?"

"Da. Skumm has invited one of the girls into bed. They are…kissing. She will do anything for a dose of Bliss. And she is doing anything…they are…nyet! Not in the same bed as me! I get up to leave. Now there are boys entering the room. They are saying it is unfair. They need Bliss too. They are coming after me, asking me for some of my supply…they are offering to do for me what the girls are doing for Skumm. Nyet! I do not want them. I am not giving up my Bliss for them. They have nothing to offer me in return that I want. I will not give up Bliss for anyone. It is more important to me than anything or anyone…there is only one person that I will share my Bliss with…and he is not here."

Who could that be? Me? She did offer me some…tried to get me to take it. There is a pained expression on Linka's face as she continues.

"Skumm is done with his girl…for all her efforts all she gets is one pill. He has noticed the boys. He is angry with them. Picks them up and throws them against the wall. Yells at them to get out, to leave me alone. 'That one is mine' he says. They will not leave though. They know that there is Bliss nearby. They begin searching the room for it. Skumm is angry. He is beating them. They start beating each other because they assume it is what our master wants. Only one boy is left…he believes he is the winner and will be getting rewarded with Bliss. But nyet…Skumm approaches him, holding a bag of pills out to the boy. The boy is focused on the bag; he is not even paying attention to Skumm as he slashes his gnarled claws across the boy's throat! Blood is everywhere. Skumm tells Boris to get rid of the bodies. Boris stops what he is doing with his girl and does as Skumm wishes. Skumm turns to me and says 'You didn't want any of those boys did you Blondie?' I shake my head. He runs a finger down my cheek, down my neck. He steps closer to me, his face inches from mine and he continues, 'You want a real man, not a boy.' I lick my lips…what will I do for more Bliss? I have more than I need right now…I am well supplied…for now. 'I want…I want…Wheeler…'"

HUH?

"'And Kwame…'"

HEY!

"'And Gi and Ma-Ti to have some Bliss."

Oh.

"I am sorry! I did not know what I was saying Gaia! I would never want my friends to be addicted to drugs! I just…I thought I was happy. I thought it was a good feeling. I wanted to share it with my friends," Linka is now crying.

"It's ok Linka. You thought you were being nice…you thought you were sharing with your friends."

"Da."

"What else can you remember?" Gaia asks.

"Another girl came up to Skumm. She got his attention and he left me to be with her. This is how it went every night. Always these hordes of girls. Sometimes the same ones…sometimes different ones because the 'regulars' were now dead."

"Linka…I need you to concentrate. You need to open up your subconscious…we need to find out if there's anything you've buried deep within it. Ok?"

"Ok," she whispers.

"Was this just one night?"

"It his how things went almost every night."

"And while Skumm was in bed with these other girls, you said you'd leave. Where would you go?" Gaia asks.

"I…I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and took them into a closet…I slept in a closet."

"Every night?" Gaia asks.

"Da…every night."

"And was anyone else there with you?"

Linka shakes her head and then reaches out her hand, searching for me. I take her hand in both of mine, getting off my chair to kneel down next to her bedside as I press my lips to her knuckles.

"Nyet. I was alone…every night, I slept alone."

I release the breath that I'd been holding. She's ok. He didn't do anything to her…nothing that can't be undone anyway. I still hate him for getting her hooked on Bliss, but she'll get through that.

"I was running out though…I only had a few more left…I was preparing myself. The night Wheeler saved me…that was going to be the night that I would have done what I needed to in order to get more Bliss."

She's giving me credit for saving her? We were all there. We all had a part in it…but she says I was the one who saved her? Whatever. All that matters is that she was saved…if she wants to give me credit for it, I'll take it.

"Good Linka. That's all we need to know. Get your rest."

Gaia looks at me and says,

"Just let her wake up naturally. She may or may not remember any of what she's said."

"Like how sometimes people can't remember their dreams?" I ask.

"Yes, exactly like that. It could still remain in her subconscious because that's where she NEEDS it to stay. If that's the case, you can just tell her the good news. That'll help ease her mind and hopefully she can move forward with the rest of her recovery."

"Thank you Gaia," I say.

"I'm glad I could help…and thank you for helping ease the tension between Linka and me," she replies.

"Sure thing…I just want things to get back to normal around here."

"They will."

Gaia disappears and I return my attention back to Linka, who is still sleeping soundly…probably for the first time in a long time. She's still gripping my hand, but I take my other hand and brush it through her hair. I know Gaia said to let her wake up naturally, but I can't help wanting to tell her the good news. It's not very comfortable kneeling here on the floor. It hurts my knees and it hurts my stab wound so I climb into bed next to her, trying my best not to disturb her, and watch her as she sleeps. She seems so peaceful…as if she already knows she's ok.

To Be Continued…

PS Sorry that the "sexual situations" were not between Wheeler and Linka! Hope no one had their hopes up!

Don't forget, in order to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Linka's side of the story in Chapter 34 of LouiseX's Codependence.