Hi, Everyone. Thank you, like always, for reading my story and I hope you stick around (I swear it will get better)

I'm really sorry if there are ever any spelling or grammatical errors in my work. It's not that I don't care, but simply that with all my homework and stuff I end up writing and editing at like 10 at night. If there is anything super major just let me know in the comments. In general just let me know how I'm doing in the comments, if you want. It really helps give me that little push i need to write the next chapter (though don't worry, I'll write anyways)

Okay, so thanks again for reading and I'll see all you guys in the next chapter!

Stay incredible! (~￣▽￣)~

Mona

"Hey Astrid, skip work for me today?" I mumbled into the phone.
My position hadn't changed since last night. I was still lying in my bed face first, only coming up for air and to give an emergency call to Astrid.

"Hiccup I can't. Do you want me to lose my job?"

"Ughh" I groaned and rolled over, "Astriiidddd, Pleeeaase. I need you" I could hear her roll her eyes along with the long sigh she gave me.

"okay fine, but if I end up unemployed it's all on you and you'll be paying my phone bills" Even in her scolding I could hear a smile "be there in ten"

After the phone clicked I decided to actually get up and try to look presentable. Not that I really cared at all, it was only Astrid but for the good of myself I think it would be best if I brushed my teeth.

My brain said get up but my body said no. It just wouldn't move, as if it was made of lead and all it wanted to do was eat food, watch movies and slug around and be all sad. Basically, right now my body was like the one of a 15-year-old girl who had her first break up.

"My god Hiccup, you look like you're on your period" Or I guess I could look like that.

Astrid was standing in my doorway, leaning her back on the frame. "Before we talk you're getting up and taking a shower and fixing the situation with the clothes" She motioned to my attire. I had never changed out of my work clothes. My jeans were still grease covered and my shirt was old and all stretched out.

"Can I not" I whined.

"Oh poor baby" she cooed, pushing away from the doorway, "Do I need to bring some Midol?"

"Oh shut up Astrid" I groaned, pulling my self out of the bed and practically crawling to the bathroom across the hall.

I turned on the light with one hand and started the water with the other. That's how small the bathroom was. My mom always hated it, she said she wanted a big one, with marble flooring and a big window. Those don't even exist in Berk.
Once the water had heated up, I pulled up that little knob over faucet that turns on the actual shower, stripped down then hopped in.

I let the warm water run down my body and let the thoughts take over my mind.

Okay, I had my first freak out in two years. Last time I panicked like that was at my prom night when I didn't actually go. Astrid and I were supposed to go together but I didn't want to. I didn't want to deal with the stares and the talking behind my back and just everything. So obviously I just ended up acting like a child, like always. I blew up and ended up getting mad about three billion other things at the same time. That's what always happens. I hold everything and it all just comes out at one time. I think I've always been like that though. I never spoke about my problems and then I would reach my end and would just crumble. Except when I had mom, she could help control it, and she would ask me constantly what I was thinking about. Which sometimes made me upset but always helped in the end. Now that she's not here, things are a little harder. I'm way more high-strung and have so many more problems. That is not a good combo.
At first, after she passed, everything would set me off but as time went on I learnt how to control it better. I was doing pretty well until today. But I guess this got rid or a lot of pent-up anxiety for now so there's one problem out of the way.

So Dad won't let me go to college, he won't even let me leave the premises. That majorly sucked. I really shouldn't be bothered by that at all, I mean I'm 19 for gods sake. I'm a legal adult. I should be able to do what ever I want with out my dad caring. Or at least do what ever I want without caring what my dad thought. But no. Even though we didn't really get along, for some reason I still respected him, even when he never even gave me a dash of it. I mean for gods sake he nick-named me Hiccup. That practically means loser. My dad nicknamed me loser. Everyday of my life my dad looks right at me and called me a loser and some how I still respect him?
How about no.
Why should I bother listening to anything he has to say? I won't. I will leave. This is my life and I can make my own choices.
Now that that's settled, it's only Jack I have to worry about. He's still sort of my ticket out.

"Hiccup, Hurry up god dammit" Astrid yelled at me, banging on the bathroom door. "How long does it take a man to shower?!" Why is it that I'm friends with her again, she's so pushy.

"Will you please calm down, I was just thinking"

"Well can you please come out and think with me, out loud. I want to hear what's on your mind" Awe, that's right. Because Astrid's the only one who still cares.

I jumped out and grabbed the towel off the hook on the door and used it to dry my hair before wrapping it around my waist.

Upon walking into my room I found Astrid sprawled across my bed.

"finally, I thought you were turning half mermaid in there" She smirked and I just rolled my eyes.

"Will you just close your eyes so I can get dressed?" I asked in annoyance.

"Awe, It's not like I haven't seen it all before" she laughed.

I narrowed my eyes at her before turning away to swing my closet door open and grab some suitable clothes for how I was about to spend my day, which was doing absolutely nothing. "None of that was ever on purpose! It's not my fault you like to barge in on people without knocking"

"Hey, your dad let me in" she shrugged

"Ya, not into my room though"

"what ever, I don't even like dick" She said and closed her eyes. That sentence right there and the way she said it, that was literally Astrid's personality. She said it like it was and she really didn't care. That's why I think we get along so easily. She's the only one who doesn't treat me with a gentle touch and I definitely never get offended by her brutal honesty or rough edges, at least not all that offended.

I pulled on a pair of sweat pants and the dragon shirt that I didn't let jack touch before flopping beside Astrid on the bed beside me.

"So" she started. "Yup" I continued. "well, talk to me, brother" she urged, rolling over onto her stomach and turning her head to face me.

"Okay well basically it all started with jack and he's like really obsessed with people and their back stories and so he kept trying to get mine but I didn't want to tell him mine but he kept on pushing and so I just got mad and I yelled and he yelled and then I told him to leave and he stormed out with my green hoodie"

"wait why your hoodie" she tried to interrupt but I just kept on going. "So then after he left I started crying and I know I never cry but this time I did because he started stirring up all these bad memories like the little dick he is then after a bit dad came up and started to talk to me and then he started talking about my college letter because he found it and he didn't even ask where I was going or anything he just told me I couldn't go so I yelled at him too and told him to leave too and then that's when I just fell asleep in my own tears" I said all in one breath. No stops or breaks or even consideration for punctuation.

"Okay, so basically you just had a bad day?"

"A bad day?" I wailed. "It was more than just a bad day, my dad told me that I couldn't move away"

"But I know you're going to do it anyways so what's your problem?" she replied. That was true.

I didn't even have time to answer before she went on. "So your major problem isn't that you're not allowed to move out, that's more of a morality issue. What you really care about is Jack. I know you won't actually admit it because you're a stubborn little turd, but you actually care about Jack. You two got along amazingly and you're sad that you lost a friend and you're feeling guilty because you know this was all your fault but then you're also majorly confused because you've never had any other friends other than me and you don't know what to do" She can read me like a book.

It took a while for me to churn the information through my brain before I could find the words to answer with.

"Okay, so you're right. What do I do now?"

Astrid bit her lip and thought for a moment before coming to a conclusion. "Okay, well you can either go talk to Jack and make up or you can just ignore each other like the losers you are until one of you moves away and you can both be miserable"

"he wouldn't be miserable" I scoffed.

"Of course he would. Have you not seen what he looks like, he doesn't necessarily have the aesthetic looks for a small town. People think he's weird just like they do to you. But anyways, that's not even the point. The point is that you guys have to talk"

I didn't even really know how to reply. I knew she was right but I didn't want to agree. If jack felt weird than he would just move away. "Why should I have to go down on my hands and knees and gravel for his forgiveness, he's the one who did me wrong" I countered.

"God Hiccup, there you go again. Stop being such a child and get over it. He was probably trying to help. You know it's actually not normal to keep everything bottled up inside you and just letting it boil, you're supposed to talk and share and be open. But you're not!" She was just ranting now. Not even speaking to me. She was basically just letting out everything.
There's been a lot of that this week.
Instead of getting mad and freaking out at her for calling me out, I just wrapped my arms around her. At first she was stiff but she easily melted into my hug and we just laid there for a bit.

"you're a loser you know" She mumbled into my chest, "A sad, awkward, anti-social loser and I love you anyways"

"I guess I love you too then" I sighed.

Why couldn't everyday be like this. Calm and easy and even for a few moments, like everything actually made sense.

"Oh dude, I forgot to tell you" I blurted out in the middle of the movie we were watching.

"Hmm?" She questioned distractedly. Jaws was one of her favourite movies. It's a wonder she even had to look at the screen to know what was happening, she's seen it so many times.

"Jack and I were talking and he said that he knew a girl who was cute and would get along well with you, and was also single" I told her, remembering the Ana girl Jack was telling me about.

"Hiccup!" she sputtered "You told him!?"

"No! Well not really. He asked and I just confirmed it" I said, twisting the truth a little but I don't think it would really matter. It's kinda like a gay alliance or something, right? "And anyways Jack's gay too so it doesn't really matter"

"Wait a second!" She interjected, ripping her eyes off the screen and jumping up, "have you even thought that jack might like you?"

"Are you crazy, of course not" I choked pushing her back onto her side of the bed. People like him wouldn't even go for people like me anyways. He's all cool and stuff and I'm just not.

"Anyways, ya, he said her name was Ana. She's his best friend. Apparently she lives over in the next town. He offered to take us"

"And did you say yes" She incurred excitedly.

"Sorta, but I don't think I want to anymore. I mean we aren't really in a good place"

"Hiccup" She whined "No! I wanna meet her. I've never met anyone...like me before" Her ending was a little quieter than when she started. "Please Hic, C'mon, It'll be fun"

I looked down at her, her eyes giving me the puppy dog look. Astrid did deserve a pretty girl. She deserved to have a girlfriend but if she wanted one she could go with Jack alone.

God, I am such a bad friend.

"Put in another one" Astrid demanded even though she was half asleep.

"No, you're not even watching anymore" I tried to reason but she wouldn't let up.

"I'm just resting my eyes, I can see the pictures with my ears"

"Oh ya" I teased, "what movie did you just finish hearing?"

"That one about the little girl who meets that alien thing in Hawaii" She muttered

"No!" I gave her a little flick in the head, "We were watching Shrek. Face it missy, you're dead to the world"

This time she didn't answer. I looked over to see her chest rising and falling slowly with her mouth hanging open slightly.

"Awe Astrid" I whispered as I pulled the covers over her shoulders and joined in beside her.
For a few moments I thought about going down and seeing if my dad was still awake, normally he would stay in the kitchen reading the news paper until all hours of the night, but I decided against it. I really didn't need anymore stress in my life honestly.
I still had to decide whether I was actually going to attempt to talk to Jack again.
From there it didn't take my brain too long to be whisked away to the hours at the mechanics. All of the joking and the laughing and the smiling and the talking. Those were things that I never did, until Jack came along.
I guess if I had to come up with an assessment of our friendship, or I guess ex-friendship for now at least, it would be that he brings out just as much of the good stuff in me as the bad. And maybe, just maybe, the good over rides the bad? I mean I've always had the bad, sitting right at the top, accessible to anyone who even slightly rubbed me the wrong way but the good stuff, now that was a little harder. Only Astrid and mom could ever find that part of me. Astrid, Mom and Jack.
Why is it that I didn't want to talk to this guy again?
Oh ya, because he betrayed my trust of being the only one who treated me like a normal human being and called me messed up. And he was also very nosy.

He was a nosy little turd who for some reason I already missed seeing everyday.

Is this what friendship felt like?