Disclaimer: I do not own or make money from the anime/manga Death Note
.
Suggested listening: Tell me I'm a Wreck by Every Avenue
.
Part 13
.
.
Mello should have been smarter.
There was no reason for him to have acted quite that stupid. Yet he had, and God knew what Matt thought about him now. He had always been driven by his emotions, even after Wammy's, had never found a way to really control them or the actions spurred by them.
Mello really wished he had.
Mello shifted underneath the hotel blankets and curled in on himself to form a tight ball. He hadn't felt this low in such a long time; he wasn't exactly fond of it either. Hiding like a scared child wasn't going to help, Mello thought bitterly.
The night before had been a complete and utter mistake, and Mello had been lying in bed ever since he had gotten back to the hotel. He would eventually have to get up and get over himself, but it didn't seem worth it just yet. Mello winced. How exactly would his and Matt's next meeting go? Awkward, was the only word Mello could think of, but leaving Matt again wasn't an option.
What a mess he had made of his life.
Miserably shutting his eyes, Mello opted to stay in the hotel for the remainder of the night and try to sort things out in the morning. The more time Matt had away from him the better, right?
At least, that was the plan.
.
Mello only crawled out from his makeshift burrow when his phone vibrated and nearly fell off the table. It wasn't a phone call, and the only person Mello could think of that might text him would be Matt…
Hesitantly, Mello flipped the phone open to view the message. Matt had asked him to bring snacks when he came over later. Mello blinked and checked the date sent. It was the correct day. Matt had indeed just sent it.
Mello groaned and wished Matt wasn't so accepting of his slip up. Let him rage, let him be confused, let him be something. Just don't let him ignore it…even though it was probably for the best.
Though the 'slip up' was more of an admission of what Mello had been trying to ignore. It had started off as him missing Matt, the friend who had gotten him through so much, and then trying to regain that friendship that had turned into attraction.
Mello was attracted to Matt.
And he was screwed because of it.
Because friends were off limits. Because friends and lovers didn't mix. Because Matt had already chosen a side, and it wasn't the one Mello wanted.
Mello could claim no alcohol tolerance when he went over, and Matt would agree, and it wouldn't be spoken of again, and Matt would never know that Mello could drink a hell of a lot more than he had.
It wasn't what Mello wanted, but since when had he ever gotten what he really wanted?
.
.
Mello had sat in Starbucks for little under an hour before deciding he had procrastinated long enough. He bought a coffee for Matt, having already drunk his own, and forwent buying any snacks from there. He wanted to get something different to bring to Matt's, so he would be stopping at the ice cream place next door and getting two small containers to go along with the fudge he had picked up before entering Starbucks.
With the coffee out of the way and safely placed in the rental car, Mello entered the little ice cream shop he had discovered a little while back. It was the only one he had seen that did custom pints of ice cream right in front of you.
Mello bought Belgium Dark Chocolate ice cream and Mint Chocolate Chip; two flavors one could never go wrong with.
He debated about having sprinkles put in with the chocolate pint, however he wasn't certain if Matt would be eating any of that or not, so he left it plain. With the purchases in tow, Mello reluctantly returned to the car and traveled to Matt's apartment. He couldn't afford to waste any more time, if he wanted the ice cream to stay solid; that and it was getting late and almost dark outside.
Mello kicked the door upon his arrival as his hands were full. From the sound of the lock, Matt hadn't even attempted to leave it unlocked, probably with how late it was. Matt didn't live in the best of places.
"I brought ice cream and coffee." Mello grinned and held up the items as well as the bag that held the fudge. Matt had always like both of those items, though Matt's comfort food had been fudge.
"Great. Hurry up. I want to lock this." Mello hadn't been over that late before, so Matt's insistence in locking up only deepened Mello's unease about Matt living there. Though Mello pitied anyone stupid enough to try anything on Matt; Mello was certain Matt wouldn't be some helpless victim.
Mello stepped inside and deposited everything onto Matt's computer table and went to fetch two spoons. Mello doubted Matt would be waiting to eat, and he was proven correct as he watched Matt opening the Mint ice cream upon his return.
Mello leaned against the wall and snacked on the chocolate ice cream for a while and watched Matt pick at his. "I brought fudge for you too."
"There is dark chocolate in the refrigerator."
It was the overindulgence in their comforts that showed how unbalanced they both were with the situation. Mello took both containers of ice cream and shoved them in the freezer a while later as he fished out the promised chocolate. It was a really good brand.
He sat on the arm of the loveseat and felt a bit of déjà vu. Though Matt was seated a lot farther away this time as he ate the fudge and played some game on his PSP.
Although Matt had told Mello to come over, the atmosphere was a little odd, not exactly tense but hardly as friendly as it had been. It was awkward, and to Mello, it felt almost like a bad daytime drama. It had Mello question if 'normal' people had the same problems like finding they held feelings for a really good friend and then doing something stupid in concerns with it.
He and Matt weren't normal though. They were of a level above others, and Mello should have known this would happen. He would have, had he thought about it before kissing Matt.
Mello crushed the chocolate in his hand, and the music of Matt's hand-held game got louder. So loud Mello swore he was drowning in it. This wasn't how it was supposed to be; he should have said he was busy.
Mello swayed a little and let the motion carry him backwards so that he fell. There was that short moment of vertigo when his heart leapt into his throat despite the knowledge that there was only a small drop. Mello hit the leather cushion of the loveseat with a bounce.
His legs dangled over the side, but Mello didn't feel like moving to fix it. He let an arm flop off the couch, the one holding the chocolate.
Mello squeezed his eyes shut and let the chocolate slip through his fingers.
.
-End Part 13-
.
AN: symbolism? Mello's dropping/letting go of the chocolate. Letting go of something he really wants. IE: Matt. XD. That was what i imagined. XD
.
Special Thanks to reviewers: KeonoKeono, RavenNightray99RavenNightray99, issagokurosakiissagokurosaki, LeatherxStripesLeatherxStripes, Nazlyn101Nazlyn101, Deadly Nightshade1395
.
.
.
Review?