HEY! I am soooo sorry it has taken me so long to update this... I just got stuck so I just kind had to push through it you know? So I am sorry if you read it and it kinda seems a bit... well not as great as other chapters, again I am sorry. It was just really hard to move on. But the next chapters will be good I promise! Anyways if you like i would still love to hear from you! So drop me a little review and tell me you love or hate it whatever! Love hearing your thoughts!
"Are you with me Dean? Stand up and be who you really are?" Zachariah's words broke me from my sleep. I sat up quickly with a gasp. I was out of breath and looking around to make sure where I was. Clara must have heard me because I didn't even have a minute to catch my breath before she sat up quickly.
"What is it? What happened?" She asked looking around but her eyes weren't even open. Soon her eyes opened and she looked at me. The room was dark but I guess she could see the confusion on my face."Dean?" She asked.
"Nothing. I'm alright." I nodded. "Just had the strangest dream." he sighed.
She laughed. "Oh I think I got you beat.." She sighed rubbing her eyes.
I shook my head and looked at her. "Unless yours had me in a suit and tie working for an insurance company... I think I win." I laughed looking away. Clara said nothing, strange. I looked up and her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide. "What?"
"Why are you having my dreams?" She asked.
"What? Oh come on." I laughed thinking she was joking. "You're serious?" He asked.
"It was Zachariah." Cas's voice came from the corner and they both jumped. Clara looked down only wearing Dean's shirt and pulled the blankets over her quickly. "He wanted to make a point."
"And that point threw me and Sam in an alternate universe?" Dean questioned. "That's crap. I'm tired of being poked at by you ass clowns." Dean was getting angry.
"Dean, calm down." Clara tired.
"No this is ridiculous!" Dean yelled.
"What did he say to you." Cas rolled his eyes stepping closer. Dean just looked confused.
"Dose it matter!" Dean yelled as he stood throwing a shirt on. "If it's not demons, it's ghosts! If it's not serial killers is angels!" He yelled looking at Clara. She said nothing. She just sat with her legs crossed. No point in yelling back. "Is this how it's gonna be from now on?" He asked looking at Castiel. "huh? Us fighting your battles for you?" Dean asked. Castiel said nothing and Dean scoffed shaking his head. "No. No way." Dean said heading for the door. "Not happening." Dean said grabbing the handle.
"Where are you going?" Clara called out.
Dean paused. "For a drive." He said opening the door.
"Be careful." Clara said as he stepped out. He took a quick look back at her. Part of him wanted to stay but he had to clear his mind. The door slammed from downstairs and Castiel and Clara were in the dark. Clara reached over and tapped the lamp on.
"Where is he going to go?" Cas asked from the corner.
"I don't know." Clara sighed. "Either the bar or a diner?" She shrugged as she stood.
"You're gonna go after him?" Cas asked as Clara walked out of the room.
"No." She said heading down the stairs.
"What?" Cas asked. Clara had made her way down the stairs and when she turned to answer Cas he was gone. She shrugged and turned back only to find him on the last step. She jumped a bit and sighed. "Why not?" He asked sounding like a worried parent.
"because he needs to cool off." Clara said walking past Castiel. "Humans like their space Cas." She laughed a bit. "He's just upset, he'll come back around." She smiled back at him as they walked into the kitchen. "So would you like anything to eat... or something?" Clara asked as she started a pot of coffee.
"No." Cas shook his head. "Angels don't need to eat, or sleep." He sighed as he sat at the kitchen table.
"Right." Clara said as she found a decently clean mug. Clara could see the complex look on Cas' face as she stood at the counter. She looked him up and down. It was like he was trying to figure out what 1789 divided 678 was. "You alright?" She asked. Cas didn't answer. "Cas?" She asked he just looked more confused. "Hello?" She said walking over and waving a hand in front of his face. "Earth to Castiel..." She laughed and he jumped a bit.
"What?" He asked looking up.
"What's your deal?" She asked. This only confused the angel more. "Is something wrong?" She huffed as she sat down across from him.
"Oh. No." Cas shook his head.
"You're lying." Clara said as Cas tried to looked away from her. "Cas I study behaviour for a living. You can't fool me." She laughed. "Why don't you tell me what's got your mind running?" She asked.
Cas was quiet as he looked up at Clara. "Zachariah." Cas sighed. "He shouldn't be down here. He is my superior." Cas said his eyes darting back and fourth as he stared at the ground. "He would never come down here..." he sighed.
"Well maybe he just..." Clara had to stop and think for a minute. "I don't know What do angels do when they are bored?" She laughed as she poured some coffee.
"They like to teach lessons." Cas said with a sigh.
"Lessons?" Clara asked. "Throwing Dean and I into that... dream or what ever that was a lesson?" She asked.
"I guess." Cas said. "Just seems a bit... unnecessary."
"Yeah well so far most of things we encounter on a daily basis is unnecessary." Clara laughed as she sipped her coffee.
"I just don't understand." Cas said with a sigh.
"Well then go ask." Clara huffed. "You want answers... go get'em."
"It's not that simple. We aren't supposed to question what upper management does." Cas said.
"Well that doesn't seem too fair." Clara said. "How are you supposed to know if you are doing the right thing?" She asked.
"We just don't ask questions." Cas shrugged.
"Then I have no idea how to help you." She said and Cas looked up at her confused.
"Help me?" He asked. "I did not ask for your help." he said.
Clara looked at Cas for a minute. "Okay..." She really had no idea what to say. It was quiet for a while before Clara knew what to say. "So then what?" She asked and Castiel looked up and shook his head. "You just sit here with me all night?" She asked with a kind smile.
As Castiel looked at Clara and her kind smile he couldn't help but start to feel something. Which was odd for him. He was an angel. He did not feel. But at first he thought it was just him liking her company but now he realized it was guilt. For some reason he felt very guilty.
"No." he shook his head. "I should find out why Zachariah has come down." Cas said as he stood.
"Okay but just be careful." She said.
"What do you mean?" He asked tilting his head a bit.
"Well last time you went to look for another angel you found Uriel... and let's not forget what that dickbag did." She laughed a bit.
"oh... right." Cas nodded. "What are you going to do?" he asked before he took off.
"Well Bobby and Sam should be back soon and Dean will be around eventually." She shrugged. "Bobby will find them another case and I'll probably get one too, seeing as it is the end of the world." She joked.
"You're not going to go back to the FBI?" he asked. "I'm sure they could use your help."
"I think they can manage without me." Clara laughed as she stood to get more coffee.
"Not that it is my business but aren't those agents your friends?" Cas asked and Clara turned around quickly.
"Well yea." She shrugged.
"And yet you have no idea what is going on in their lives right now do you?" Cas asked. "Don't you think it would be time to go back to your old life?" Cas asked.
"I seriously doubt now is the time." Juliet laughed. "Cas the world is kinda on the brink of destruction..." She sighed. "Now isn't the time to be chasing down serial killers and riding the world of evil." She shrugged.
"If Sam and Dean fail to stop Lilith then there won't be killers to catch or evil to rid." Cas said which made Clara look up at him with wide eyes. Once she looked up he was gone. A gust of wind blew through the house and some papers scattered.
"Dramatic much." She shook her head as she drank her coffee. As dramatic as Cas was it still got Clara thinking. It had been almost a month since she seen or spoke to any of her team. But they had also not tried to call her. She figured they were just busy. She wondered if they were okay.
A few hours had gone by and Clara stared at her phone she had thrown onto the table. Cas' dramatic last words had her mind spinning. All she had to do was press one button to call anyone of her friends. She wanted to so bad but she had no idea what to say. She had reached for it many times but couldn't dial. She was about to reach for the tenth time when the front door opened.
"All I'm saying is you could have waited." Bobby's cross voice came from the doorway.
"Bobby you were ten minutes out. I would be dead if I waited." Clara heard Sam laugh.
"No instead you get yourself beat up." Bobby huffed as he walked into sight. "Clara?" he was surprised to see her.
"Hi." She smiled up at him.
"It's late what are you doing up?" He asked.
"Oh you know couldn't sleep." She shrugged pushing her phone to the side of the table. Bobby shook his head at her as he disappeared downstairs. She watched him walked down and when she looked back at the door she gasp. "Jesus Sam." She stood instantly as he limped into the kitchen.
"Hi Clara." He sounded like he was in pain. As he limped closer and Clara caught him before he fell she saw everyone of his wounds. He had a large gash on his arm, a pretty badly busted up face, and blood covered his clothes.
"What the hell happened to you?" She asked as she helped him sit down.
"Dumb ass didn't wait for backup." Bobby said as he came back upstairs.
"Oh would you let it go. I'm fine." Sam shook his head as he took the towel Bobby had. "He was ten minutes out and I found the nest. So I went in." Sam shrugged.
"Nest?" Juliet questioned as she took some of the first aid supplies from Bobby and went to work cleaning Sam's face off.
"Yeah Vamps had been harassing the town." Sam shrugged. "There was only like three." He laughed.
"That's it?" Clara laughed. "How the hell did you get so beat up then?" She asked.
"Shut up." Sam pushed her back a bit when he figure out she was making fun of him. Clara just laughed. "I'm alive aren't I?" Sam stated.
"Barely." She shook her head as she wiped the blood from his neck.
"What about you? Anything interesting happen while we were gone?" Sam asked.
"Not really." Clara shrugged. "Cas has gotten very dramatic though." She laughed.
"He's an angel... is there any other kind but dramatic." Sam rolled his eyes.
"Good point." Clara laughed as she went to work closing up Sam's other wounds. "Is there and I can't see?" Clara asked taking a step back.
"I think I can handle them myself." Sam shook his head at her as he slowly stood.
"Would you grow up." She pushed him back down. "Where?" She asked.
"Shoulder blade." he said as he slowly took off his blood stained shirt. Clara had to take a minute when Sam took his shirt off. She couldn't believe how built Sam had gotten. His back was so clean cut and his shoulders were broad and she huffed. "What?" Sam asked turning around quickly.
"Nothing." Clara shook her head. "I know you said you spent the last few months working with Ruby... were you also bench pressing her?" Clara laughed. "Or you know lifting buildings?"
"What are you talking about?" Sam asked as he felt Clara clean his back of blood.
"Oh nevermind." Juliet rolled her eyes.
"Okay..." Sam said looking over at Bobby who was staring at the table. "What is it Bobby?" Clara looked up at him and noticed he was staring at her cell phone.
"What were you doing while we were gone?" Bobby asked looking over at Clara.
"Nothing. I was talking with Cas before he took off..." She shrugged.
"and Dean? Where is he?" Bobby asked.
"I don't know." Clara shrugged again.
"What?" Sam and Bobby asked.
"Relax... he stormed out a few hours ago. An angel... Zachariah I think, was messing with him and he got angry so he stormed out.
"You didn't go after him?" Sam asked.
"No... he was pissed why would I bother. He needed some air so he went and got it. Guys its no big deal."
"And you just sat here alone in the middle of the night doing nothing?" Bobby asked.
"Pretty much." Clara said.
"You leavin' again?" Bobby asked walking over quickly.
"Leaving? Where would I go?" She asked.
"Back to Virginia." Bobby said. "Do you know what is going on around here! You can't just decide that you don't wanna be apart of this fight anymore." Bobby said.
"Wooh Bobby calm down. I'm not going anywhere." She laughed. "I was going to call my friends and ask them if they were aright. Is that so bad?" Bobby rolled his eyes. "I didn't by the way." As he walked out of the kitchen.
"What is his problem?" Sam asked.
"Oh you know grumpy old man. Probably still mad at me." Clara rolled her eyes. "There." She said closing the last cut on Sam's back. "You should go wash all the blood and dirt off... carefully." She added as he stood.
"Thanks." He smiled at Clara.
Just like that Clara was alone again. Bobby had gone to bed and after Sam shower he passed out in his room. Clara still sat at the kitchen table staring at her phone again. The way Bobby flipped on her made her think about what he said. She really didn't want to leave but what Cas said was driving her crazy. She opened her phone finally and noticed it was 6 and sighed.
Dean still had not made it back so Clara finally got her nerve to call someone. She dialled one number and the phone started to ring. She was kind of hoping no one would answer but when they did she smiled.
"Morgan." His voice just made her smile.
"Hey Derek... It's Clara." She said quietly trying not to cry.
"Oh my god." He laughed a bit. "Hi." He sounded out of breath.
"You're not busy are you?" She asked.
"No, not at all." He said. "It's really good to hear from you." He said and he sounded thrilled to hear from her.
"I'm really sorry..." She started. "I meant to come back a while ago but I..." She paused.
"Have things to take care of." He finished. "You say that a lot." He laughed. "and yet you never wanna tell anyone what it is you need to take care of..." he sighed.
"I know... It's just complicated is all."
"Alright, fair enough. So how are you?" He asked and Clara smiled.
"Well I've been better." She sighed.
"Oh no... I know that tone." He said. "I'm not Dr. Reid but you wanna tell me what's on your mind?" He asked with a laugh.
"I don't know... It's just... do you ever get the feeling you are just spinning your wheels and not really making a difference?" She asked. "Like you should be doing something else?" She asked.
Dean had been out for hours and he spent all his time in a bar. He had sat at the bar with a drink in his hands and didn't speak. He would look around every so often and look at the people sitting next to him. Some looked miserable and others looked genially happy. He had no idea why but there was a part of him that did not want to go back Bobby's. He no longer wanted to bother with any of it.
When the sun started to come up he figure he should get back before Clara sent out a damn search party. He looked at his phone and thought it was odd there wasn't any messages. Clara should have called at least once but she hadn't.
When he pulled back into Bobby's he noticed his car sitting the drive. He and Sam must have come back while he was gone. He opened the door quietly hoping no one would notice him coming home so late, or early... Whatever. That's when he heard her voice. She was quiet but the light in the kitchen reflected the smile she had on her face. He didn't want her to see him so he stayed back but he could hear her.
"I've been better." Made Dean worry. "I don't know... It's just... do you ever get the feeling you are just spinning your wheels and not really making a difference?" She asked. "Like you should be doing something else?" She asked. Who was she talking to?
"Like you should be here instead of there?" Derek asked Clara
"That's not what I mean Derek." She laughed a bit and Dean huffed s he listened.
She couldn't have been talking to the brightly dressed Tech, Penelope... Nooo she had to be talking to the hunk Derek Morgan. Dean thought and rolled his eyes. He was now a bit mad. Instead of worrying about him Clara was talking to Derek.
"Well then what about Sam and Dean how are they?"
"Yeah they're fine." Her voice changed and she sighed.
"Are they? You don't sound to happy?" Derek pointed out. "Something bothering you?"
"No." She said trying to convince him.
"I sensed that you and Dean were... you know together." Derek stated.
"Yeah I guess you could call it that."
"And... are you happy?" Derek asked.
"Dose it matter?" She asked and he huffed. "Well what else am I supposed to do? Can't exactly just up and leave."
"You can if you're not happy."
"I am though." Clara had no idea why all of a sudden she was second guessing herself.
"Okay then what is it?" He asked. "What's got you all... you know." Derek couldn't really put a word to it.
"I'm not sure." She sighed.
"Aright... then why did you call me?" Derek seemed to laugh a bit and when he noticed Clara get quiet he got worried. Then he hear the little sob she left out and she sniffed.
"I don't know." Her voice cracked. "I've been sitting in the stupid kitchen for hours all by myself and I... I just... have no idea what I am doing." She shook her head and it fell into her hand. Dean stood just around the corner with his back against the wall. He sighed as he heard Clara's little cry. He could tell she was trying so hard not to cry but it was failing. He placed his head on the wall and sighed.
"Hey..." Derek's voice got really soft. "It's okay." He smile. "Look I got an idea." He paused and waited for her to listen. "Penelope's birthday is in three days and we are having a party. Why don't you come down and be somewhere you are needed and missed." He said.
"Needed and missed?" A little laugh came from her. That's when Dean listened carefully. Did Derek just say he needed and missed her? It was killing him that he couldn't hear both sides.
"Yeah. It would mean a lot to Penelope if you came..." Derek said.
"Alright... I think I can do that." Clara felt instantly better.
"Really? Awesome. I'll keep it to myself so its a surprise for her." Derek said. "Sound good?"
"Yeah. I'll see you in a couple of days then." Clara said. "Thanks Derek." Clara sighed as she wiped the last few tears from her face.
"No problem, what is family for right?" he laughed and that brought a smile to Clara's face. Dean peeked his head around the corner and could see the big smile on he face and he got mad again. He hadn't seen her smile like that in a while. "Now I gotta go but I'll see you."
"Yeah I gotta go too..." Clara sighed. "Bye." Dean heard her click her phone off and he didn't know what to do.
He had a few to many and he knew of he said anything all that would come out would be the jealous rage he had going on but if he said nothing he would feel guilty. He was thinking about what to say and how to say it nicely or maybe he should just go over and hold her? She was obviously battling her own feelings and doubting herself and god knows he did that everyday but he had no idea how to help her.
Before he had a chance to do anything she had started walking his way and rounded the corner. "oh." She jumped not expecting to see him there. Dean stood tall and took a step back. "You're back?" She asked.
"Yeah." Was all he said.
"H..How long have you been standing there?" Clara asked as she walked around Dean and headed for the stairs expecting he would follow her. She turned around halfway up the stairs when he didn't answer. She looked back and he was just staring up at her. "Dean?" She asked and he didn't even move. She walked back down quickly and stood in front of him and his eyes followed her. "You okay?" He asked with a small smile. Nothing like the one she had on before.
Dean shook his head and cleared his throat. "Yeah of course." he said as he headed for the stairs and Clara followed him.
Just the way he walked she could tell he had a few to many. She shook her head and walked behind him so he wouldn't fall down. "Maybe next time you take off in the middle of the night you shouldn't drive." She said. "Or just not take off at all." she added quietly.s
Dean stopped at the top of the stairs and sighed deeply and Clara just waited for him to defend himself. "I'm sorry." Was all he said. Clara didn't say anything as Dean walked to his room and didn't look back. He reached for the doorknob and when he walked in he sighed again. Then when he closed the door he did so with a slam making Clara jump.
Clara tilted her head. Dean never went into his room. Was he mad at her or was he just to drunk to know what he was doing. Clara shrugged and decided that a few hours of sleep would be good for her. As she lay down she had a small smile. She was going to see her friends in a few days and that made her feel good. But then the constant worry tapped into her mind. Her mind was thinking over everything that just happened with Dean and she couldn't help but be suspicious.