Confession: I'm a Ginny Hater. I'm sorry, but I can't stand her. She is mentioned in this chapter but no way in hell will I ever put her and Harry together. (You've been warned)

Oh, and thanks for the reviews people. I appreciate it.

A few days later and nothing much had changed. Harry still felt like crap, he hadn't seen Hedwig and Snape hadn't talked to him. Harry had stopped going to meals as well, only going to one a day and that was usually breakfast to make an appearance. He just felt there was no point because he didn't want to be seen and he was never hungry. He had also still yet to ask Snape or Dumbledore, he wasn't sure which one, if he could go into Diagon Ally. He had received his book list a few weeks ago and guessed that seeing as there wasn't much else to do he could get a head start on the course content for the coming year. It was a bizarre concept for Harry, he'd never done that before, well never really been allowed to before.

On this morning, Harry had woken at just after six o'clock to the sound of running water from the shower. He would usually wake up to this and roll over to go back to sleep, he couldn't understand why Snape would get up this early. What was he doing in the day that he had to get up so early? He guessed he could always ask the man, but fear of being ridiculed stopped him. Even though Snape didn't really sneer at him like he used to, didn't mean the man had changed and he still felt cautious around him. Harry also had to control his emotions around the man too, he had been for the last couple of nights reading on the couch whilst Snape was reading in his arm chair and he'd caught himself looking up to watch Snape over the top of his book before blushing and looking away. It was a weird feeling he kept getting when he was in the man's presence and him not being berated or yelled at by the man only made this feeling worse.

Harry waited another half an hour before he thought about getting up and taking a shower himself, he always waited till he was sure the man was either back in his room or in his lab before he ventured out. Again, it was still a weird concept that he shared living quarters with Snape and from experience he knew that the man could snap at any moment so he didn't want to break the tranquility. Carefully he opened his door to make sure the coast was clear before darting into the bathroom and locking the door. He almost melted under the hot water, it felt amazing as it ran down his body. He didn't stay in there too long however and after wrapping the towel around his waist he walked out of the bathroom with his pajama's in hand only to spot Snape on the other side of the room turn and look at him. He blushed scarlet and darted straight into his room. He was mortified.

Snape on the other hand was a little amused, if not slightly concerned about Harry. He hadn't been turning up to meals that often and it seemed he was embarrassed around him. Snape wasn't about to bring his mental blocks down so that he could be friendly with the boy and so his way of being civil was to just not say anything at all in fear that he would upset Harry. It seemed however that this wasn't going to help him at all because Harry's cautious behaviour hadn't changed, although he had noticed the boy looking at him from time to time when they were reading in the living area after dinner but he had no idea why. Sighing, Snape put down the book he had been holding and decided to head up for breakfast, Merlin knows he needed some coffee, and quickly. He didn't bother waiting for Harry on this day.

Getting changed into his only fitting clothes, Harry looked at himself in the mirror and again saw the scared and emotional wreck that he had seen when he first arrived back at Hogwarts. He wondered if this was how he was going to look from now on and it somewhat depressed him. Shaking his head to get those thoughts out he headed towards the door with the intention of going to breakfast. He thought that if he went up for breakfast each morning then there was more of a chance of him seeing Hedwig. When he came out of his room, he noted that the man didn't appear to be there so begrudgingly he made his way out into the corridor and up the stairs.

Dumbledore looked up when Harry walked into the hall that morning, his head down and scuffing his shoes. He didn't really know what would make Harry happy at this time and he looked over to Snape who looked equally as depressed as Harry, with concern etched all over his face. Not many people could read Snape as he kept his emotions pretty tightly under wraps but Dumbledore was always good at reading his face and he could tell the man was worried for Harry as well.

Coming to sit at his spot on the Gryffindor table he began to pick at the food in front of him. The longer he sat there not hearing Hedwig swooping in, the lonelier he felt. His head shot up when he heard her squawk as she flew through the window and Harry's face immediately lit up and he gave her a tight hug when she landed next to him, a stack, no a huge stack of letters now deposited on the table.

"Hey girl, I was so worried, where have you been?" He whispered lovingly, so the teachers couldn't hear him and he chirped happily at him and nudged her head into his open palm.

He placed some bacon and toast onto his plate and cut them into little bite sized pieces before pushing the plate towards her so she could nibble on what he cut up for her. Smiling lovingly at her he picked up the letters and his mood soured somewhat when he saw the writing on them. There were letters from Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, although there were several more letters from Hermione as he shuffled through them and another from Ron.

He opened the letter from Mrs. Weasley and it said the normal dribble, have you been eating well? Are they treating you well? We do miss you, hope you are well. Please let us know if we can do anything. We are worried sick about you, blah, blah, blah. He put it aside and opened the first one of Ron's and it also said the usual, Fred and George have created… How are your holidays? They haven't put the bars back on your windows have they? Are you okay? Can't wait to see you… blah, blah. He put that one aside as well and picked Hermione's first letter up and read the first few lines before putting that aside as well. It wasn't until he opened Ginny's letter that his emotions came crashing forward.

Hey Harry,

Hope your holiday's are going great. No one has

heard from you so we all hope that you are okay

and well.

I miss you too Harry, but more than the others,

and I think you know what I mean when I say

that, you have always been there for me and I

am hoping that this year something might happen

between us. You are more than a brother to me,

Harry.

Love

Ginny.

First Harry cringed, then he frowned, and then when it sunk in he wanted to cry. Conflict was raging in his head and he didn't know what was happening. He knew he should be flattered with this letter, Merlin if Cho had sent that to him he would have gone to her every beck and call but now, he wasn't sure. He was supposed to like girls, he was a male and that's what they did, but he couldn't help but feel a little sick at Ginny's words and the image of him kissing Tony the first time came to the front of his head.

Before he realized it, he felt something wet hit the back of his hand and with his arm he wiped the tears away before jumping up with letters in hand and running out of the hall, only just managing to clear the hall before a sob slipped out of his mouth. He ran out of the main entrance hall and outside, it was another lovely day out so again, he was glad that he didn't need a jacket. He didn't stop running until he got to a clearing over looking the Black Lake and he collapsed onto the ground, crying. I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay… He kept muttering in his head and he sat up trying to calm himself as he looked over the lake.

Once his crying had stopped and his breathing evened out, he picked up the rest of the letters and it hit him that he really didn't care what his friends had to say. Hermione had gone away and was now back with lots of stories to tell and Ron mentioned that there were some spells and tricks he wanted to play on the Slytherin's that the twins had told him. He just didn't care though. He tossed the letters in front of him and pulling out his wand, he pointed it and jets of fire erupted from the tip and the letters caught fire.

Snape was standing at the top of the hill watching Harry and was concerned when he burned the letters he'd received. He desperately wanted to know what had caused Harry to react the way he had, so after Harry had left the hall he had waited a few minutes before following him out. He knew now that it was the right thing to do and now he found himself walking down towards Harry. He didn't really know what he wanted to say, but he wanted Harry to cheer up, he doubted that he could do it though, Hagrid or Dumbledore would probably be better suited to this, but here he was and he wasn't going to back down just because he thought the boy hated him.

He came to sit down next to Harry but didn't look at him and kept his gaze out over the lake, bringing his legs up and resting his outstretched arms on his knees. Harry looked over to him thinking he was crazy but he didn't say anything and looked out over the lake again as well. They sat in silence for a while, until Snape couldn't bear it and he broke the silence.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He offered, but didn't look at Harry.

Harry stayed silent for another moment before answering.

"Not really." He muttered.

"I might be able to help you." He offered again.

Harry thought the man had lost his mind, last he knew the man hated his very existence so it baffled him as to why he was offering his help. Although if he thought about it, the man hadn't really been like usually was during school. The holidays might have softened him up. Feeling his usual resentment towards the man he replied.

"Why do you care? Last I knew you hated me so why should I tell you anything?" Before he knew it he was slowly getting to his feet and was about to walk off when Snape's reply stopped him.

"Because we are more alike than you realize." There was no malice or scorn, nor was there any bitterness. It was as it was, a comment.

Harry didn't move and he got the feeling that Snape, Merlin forbid, was going to open up to him. So pushing the past aside he went and sat back down next to the man and looked at him expectantly. Snape looked down at him for a second before looking back over the view in front of them and elaborated on his comment.

"My… father, did the same, he would beat me. No one ever knew apart from Madame Pomfrey and Headmaster Dumbledore... And your mother."

So that's what Dumbledore meant by his comment the other day. Harry was mildly surprised, so he and Snape were both abused in their family home… well Snape's family home, Harry still had no family.

"Trust me, when I say this Harry, you have it a lot worse than I ever did." There sounded like there was sorrow and regret in his voice and it intrigued Harry.

"How do you mean?" Harry asked, and Snape this time looked back at him.

"Because I had my mother who looked after me and of course your mother, when I was at school."

All Harry did was look away and nod. He didn't know if Snape being there was supposed to make him feel better or not, but it wasn't and he felt more crap about himself now that Snape had said that. Although he did feel a little bad for him. Harry knew that his father had treated Snape like shit at school, playing tricks on him and making fun of him in front of everyone but the thing that stood out for Harry now was that Snape really did understand him. He understood him more than anyone else would.

Suddenly what Ron had said in his letters had some context and he instantly regretted the way that they had played tricks on the Slytherins and other students who they thought were weird, he really was his father. This realization made tears prick in the corners of his eyes and a sob slipped out, an unguarded one and he could have slapped himself for doing it in front of Snape. The man didn't really seem to care though and he found a warm and comforting arm wrapping around his shoulders, sub consciously he leaned into the embrace and his head rested on Snape's shoulder as he let the tears roll down his cheeks.

It was a while before Harry stopped crying, and now it was just sniffling and he wiped his face with his tee before Snape spoke again. The softness in his voice unnerving Harry and his stomach doing a back flip.

"I sense there is something else on you mind. Yes?"

Harry really couldn't verbalize anything at the moment so was going to shake his head but found himself nodding instead and he tensed, realizing his mistake. The arm from around his shoulders disappeared and Snape looked at him, waiting for Harry to elaborate.

"I… don't really know what it is that's bugging me." He lied. "But, you have been right all these years. I really did turn into my father, didn't I? I didn't even stop and think my actions… could effect others." He turned to Snape. "I'm sorry."

"Considering the circumstances, you are forgiven, Harry." Snape said.

Harry's eyes went wide for a second; he realized his name sounded good when Snape said it and he shuddered. Oh my god, he thought as he realized what that could mean and he felt like crying again. He wasn't ready to address this quite yet so he stayed silent after the man spoke. Snape, sensing that Harry wasn't going to say any more to him went to stand, but before he did he spoke.

"Please, Harry. If there is something on your mind. Talk to someone, me, if you want. I will listen." He half smiled and Harry thought that it looked good on him, better than the sneer anyway.

Harry watched as the man stood up, he stood as well, there was something he'd been meaning to ask.

"Sir, was there any chance I could go into Diagon Ally, there are some things that I need to get."

Snape seemed to think this through for a second before nodding and saying he'd speak to Dumbledore. Harry thanked him and he watched as Snape walked back up to the castle.

"I am, truly sorry, sir." He yelled after the man and turned back to look at Harry for a second.

"I know." And he turned to continue walking back to the castle.

Taking a deep breath Harry turned back to look out over the lake. He figured that maybe talking to someone wouldn't be so bad, but it was difficult when you didn't trust anyone with your feelings. Then why did Snape divulge his past, surely he would think I'd tell the world. Harry maybe thought that he himself had changed if Snape was now being forthcoming with that nugget of information.

Perhaps I could trust him.