Chapter 19

Riker POV

I got up and followed Kat down the road to her house. When we got to her front door, she stopped.

"We need to be really quiet ok? My dad would never let a guy sleepover unless it was for Cody, which you're not. And don't let Cody see you either. Got it?"

"Yes."

We silently snuck up the stairs to Kat's bedroom. Kat locked the door once we were there.

"Where do you want me to sleep?" I asked.

"On the floor…?"

"Yeah, but where?"

Kat pointed to the space between her bed and the window, so I put my suitcase down there.

"Did you bring pillows or anything?" Kat asked.

"No."

"Well that would've been comfortable in your car."

I looked at Kat.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't… You've had a rough night," said Kat, while pulling blankets out of her closet.

I felt like crying, but I didn't want to in front of Kat. Was this really reality? I was sleeping at someone else's house because… of everything that just happened…?

"Here," said Kat, handing me a stack of pillows and blankets.

"Thanks."

"Riker?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you… ok?"

"I'm fine," I said, turning away from her.

"Riker. What can I do?"

I started setting up my bed and ignored Kat's question.

"Riker please answer me. What can I do?"

"You can't do anything Kat."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you can't do anything for me right now."

"It seems like it meant more than that!"

I sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated!"

"Shhh! Do you want my dad or Cody to hear you?"

Kat POV

I watched Riker set up his bed. He seemed really angry, but I didn't know what to do. When he was done, he flopped down on top, slamming his head facedown into the pillows.

"Are you done?" I asked.

"Yes," Riker mumbled into the pillows.

I got up and shut of the light, leaving us in total darkness. I could hear Riker moving around in his bed.

"I can't see anything."

"That's kind of the point."

"Kat, I can't sleep in total darkness."

"Why? Scared?"

"I've never slept in the dark before…"

"Really!?"

"Yes! It freaks me out! Please turn the lights back on!"

I jumped out of bed and flicked the bright lights back on.

"There. Happy?"

"No."

"Well why not!?"

"Because I can't sleep with the lights on like that!"

"I'm Riker, and I can't sleep with the lights on or off!" I imitated.

"Kat!"

"How do you sleep then!?"

"Rocky lets me leave the bathroom light on."

"Well do you see a bathroom in my bedroom?"

"Well no-"

"Just try falling asleep with the lights off, ok?"

"Kat-"

"It's not scary! If I can do it, so can you!"

I got up and flicked the lights back off. Riker screamed into his pillow, but not loud enough to wake anyone.

"Riker, I don't know what you want me to do."

"It's fine. Just go to sleep," Riker said angrily.

"Well if you need anything, I'm right here," I said closing my eyes.

A few minutes of silence went by.

"Kat?"

"What?"

"Did you hear that?"

"No! Go to sleep!"

I turned over in bed, facing away from Riker, and concentrated on ignoring him.

The Next Morning…

Kat POV

I woke up to find Riker curled in a ball, with the blankets all the way at the end of his bed. I got out of my bed, and pulled the blankets back on top of him. I shivered as I walked down the icy stairs to the kitchen. My dad and brother were sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal, probably because they couldn't make anything else.

"Good morning!" Said my dad, happily.

Why doesn't he understand that I hate him for this!?

"Morning…"

I walked over the to the fridge, poured orange juice into 2 glasses, and walked back upstairs without letting either of them see the 2 glasses. I locked my door, and sat down in bed, putting the glasses down on my night stand. I leaned over and gently shook Riker's shoulder, waking him up. He looked up at me as if he didn't recognize me at first.

"Kat?"

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?"

"It's about 9:30. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"Here," I said, handing him the orange juice.

"Thanks."

"Riker? What are you doing today?"

"I honestly don't know. Why?"

"Because I don't want you to leave just because you feel bad about staying here. I want you to stay here as long as you need to. And I don't want you to feel bad at all."

"Kat, I really shouldn't be here though."

"Stop. Just stop. Ok? It's completely fine."

Riker looked down, and I sighed.

"So how did you sleep last night?" I asked.

Riker POV

I had actually been terrified all night. It felt like hours before I was able to finally fall asleep. I had even had a nightmare about being trapped in a dark room. But there was no way I was telling Kat that. It was embarrassing enough she knew I was afraid of the dark.

"Uh, ok I guess."

"You're lying. You were scared weren't you?"

"How do you know that!?"

"Well I could hear you keep moving around last night. And when I woke you up, you were curled in a little ball which is usually how a scared person sleeps! You didn't look relaxed at all!"

"Ok, well maybe I didn't have the best night."

"I'm sorry. If you want to drive me to a store, I can buy a nightlight."

"No, that's ok. I don't think I'll stay here tonight."

"You're going back home?"

"No."

"Then where are you going?"

"I don't know yet."

"Riker, I really want you here if you have nowhere else to go. I want to know that you're safe. If you're not at home or here, I won't know that. Please stay here until you figure stuff out. And if you won't do it for yourself, then do it for me. Because I want you to."

"Ok fine."

Kat gave me hug. I missed those so much…

"So let's go to the store today. We can buy you a nightlight and stuff, and please don't argue with me."

"Fine. When do you want to go?"

"I don't care. Whenever. I think it's supposed to rain today though. So if you don't want to get caught in the rain, we should probably go sooner rather than later."

"Ok, let's get dressed and stuff and then we can go."

"Ok, sounds good."

Kat grabbed her clothes and left the bedroom. I rummaged through my suitcase, trying to pick something that matched. I had randomly thrown stuff in here last night. I didn't pack specific outfits, so it was a bit difficult. Kat walked in on me before I was able to put my shirt on.

"Oh, sorry," said Kat.

"It's fine. It doesn't really matter," I said, slipping my shirt over my head.

Kat sat down on her bed and looked at me. How had she gotten ready so fast? I thought all girls took forever to get ready.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, my dad just got in the shower, so we don't have to worry about him. But I don't know where Cody is…?"

"Whatever. Let's just go."

We walked down the street to my car which was still parked at the dead end. There was a note taped to my window.

"What's it say?" Kat asked.

"It's from my dad. He says he's sorry he overreacted last night, and he wants me to come back. Apparently Rocky told him and mom what's been going on, and they're not happy."

"What do you mean?"

"He told them I've been starving myself and acting weird and stuff."

"Because I made you…"

"Kat, stop."

"I just can't believe I made you do that…"

"Come on, let's go to the store."

Later…

Riker POV

We had finally gotten back to Kat's. I had parked my car at the park a few minutes away, so we had to walk for a little while to get back. I just didn't want to get any more notes or anything. I didn't really know if I wanted to go back. But I didn't want to inconvenience Kat either. We snuck up her stairs, and into her room.

"Ok, you'll be good for tonight," said Kat, plugging the light in.

"Yeah… Uh… thanks…"

"So what are you thinking, as in the note?"

"I'm not sure. I really don't want to go back. I'm mad that my dad wanted to kick me out. I'm mad about what they did to you at the amusement park. I'm mad that Rocky told on me. I just… Don't know yet."

"It's ok. Take your time."

"Kat, I really appreciate what you've done for me."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt more than you already have been."

"Thanks. That really means a lot."

Ugh! Why won't she go out me!?

"So what do you want to do now?" Kat asked.

"Probably something quiet in your bedroom. It's raining, and we don't want to get caught."

"We could watch a movie."

"Ok. What movie?"

"I have a really scary one I've been wanting to see."

A scary movie? Just my luck… I sat down in my bed and waited for Kat to get it all set up. Once she was done, she closed the curtains, sat on her bed, and pressed play.

1 Hours Later…

Kat POV

I just had to pause the movie. This was getting ridiculous. Riker looked up at me when I paused it and seemed embarrassed when I looked over at him. He had his legs pulled up to his chest and had his arms wrapped around them.

"Come sit next to me," I said.

"What? Why?"

"You look scared."

"I'm not scared!"

"Come sit next to me."

"Kat I'm fine."

"Please?"

"Fine."

Riker stood up and sat on my bed with me. I pulled a blanket over our laps, and unpaused the movie.

Later…

Kat POV

"Well what do you want to do now?" I asked, turning the TV off.

"Uh… I don't know."

"We could have a late lunch – early dinner type thing. We haven't eaten anything all day."

"I guess so."

"You are eating something!"

"I will, I will!"

"Ok, you stay here, I'm going to go sneak downstairs and go find us some dinner."

"Actually I was going to go to the bathroom."

"Ok, just be careful not to be seen."

"I will."

I unlocked my door and walked downstairs. I could see my dad and Cody outside playing something. I think it was football. Or maybe be baseball. Soccer? I don't know! I'm not a sports person. Who cares anyways? The only real exercise I got was skateboarding. But I was surprisingly thin for someone who didn't really do anything.

I heated up some left over pasta in the microwave from the other night. I poured it into 2 bowls and brought them upstairs. Riker was looking out my window.

"What are you looking at?" I asked.

"Your dad and Cody are playing basketball."

"Basketball! That's what it's called!"

"What?"

"Nothing… Here. Eat."

"Thanks."

That Night…

Kat POV

I walked into my bedroom on Riker changing again. Luckily I was pretty consistent with my timing, and he was just pulling his shirt on as I came in.

"So my dad said that my mom is being released from the hospital on Tuesday."

"Oh, cool. Did you have a good shower?"

"Uh yeah…? Are you sure you didn't want to take one?"

"No, I don't want to risk getting caught or anything."

"We could just make something up so you could take one."

"No, it's ok."

Riker POV

Ok so maybe that wasn't exactly the reason why… But Kat didn't need to know that. The truth was, I did a lot of thinking when I was in the shower. I was just scared that I would change my mind on something and hurt Kat or something. I don't know. It's a stupid reason, but I didn't care. I just wanted to go to sleep.

The Next Morning…

Kat POV

"So what are we doing today?" Riker asked.

"I don't know. It's Sunday. My dad and Cody are going to church I think."

"Ok."

"And while they're gone, you can take a shower."

"Uh…"

"You need a shower, Riker!"

"Ok fine."

Later…

Kat POV

Riker came walking back into my room after his shower wearing glasses. He wears glasses? What else didn't I know about him?

"What's up with the glasses?" I asked.

"I lost one of my contacts."

"Oh. Uh Riker? Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You… you look like you were crying…"

"Why?"

"Your eyes and nose are pink."

"Oh."

"Well were you?"

"Do I have to answer that?"

"By asking that, you already did! Now, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

This was weird. I was realizing we were swapping roles. Before, I didn't want to talk to Riker, and now he didn't want to talk to me. I used to not want him around, and now it seems like he doesn't want me around.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Because what goes on inside my head is so hard to understand, I don't have any words to explain it."

"Well could you try? Please?"

"Ok… I just feel… sad… all the time… And it won't go away. I don't understand what's wrong with me."

"How bad is it?"

"I wouldn't want anyone to ever feel like this, not even my worst enemies."

"Awww! Well eating a normal amount of food would probably help that a little. You just need to get past the whole fight thing, and then I think things will start feeling better."

"But that's the thing. I don't think things will ever be 100% better."