Chapter 20
Riker POV
"Why don't you think things will be 100% better?" Kat asked.
Because you don't love me.
"I don't know," I said.
"Is this about…"
"What?"
"What I did to you?"
"Kat-"
"No, really. Is it?"
"I'm not answering that. We've been over that enough times."
Kat looked at me, annoyed.
"Can we just do or talk about something else?" I asked.
"Fine. Then what do you want to do?"
"I don't know. I guess I could see what apartments are available."
"Riker are you crazy!? Your dad said you could come back home!"
"I know. At first I didn't know how I could ever move out. But after thinking about it, I just feel like I need to."
"Why?"
"Because I feel like my family doesn't care about me. Don't even say anything. I know, I know. They love me. But I just… I can't live in that house with them anymore! It's too much!"
"Why? Did something happen?"
"Rocky told my parents how I tried starving myself! They're going to kill me! And I can't stand being around my siblings anymore! Rocky always brings up how you broke up with me, and it drives me insane! I just can't deal with this anymore!"
Kat looked down at the floor.
"What?" I asked.
"It's my fault again."
"No it's not! I won't let you take the blame! So stop saying things like that!"
"Riker think about it. It's all my fault. I made you want to starve yourself. I made you all depressed. I made you take me home and to the hospital, and if I hadn't, you wouldn't have had that fight! It's all my fault!"
"Ok, well maybe it's your fault, but I'm not blaming you for it!"
"How can you not blame me?"
Because I love you.
"I don't know…"
"Riker."
"What?"
"I really think you should go home and make up with everyone. You need to get everything sorted out. Otherwise you won't feel better."
"I don't want to though!"
"I know you don't want to, but you have to!"
"Not today."
"Riker."
"If you don't want me to stay here anymore, I won't, but I'm not ready to go home yet!"
"The longer you wait, the worse it'll be when you go home."
"I don't care," I said, packing up my suitcase.
"Riker, don't."
"Don't what?"
"Leave!"
Kat POV
I could hear Riker take a deep breath in, as he sat down on the ground, leaning against my bed. He covered his face with his hands, and started crying. He was just a mess.
"Riker, it's going to be ok, I promise."
"How can you say that!?" Riker cried.
"Shhh. Calm down."
I sat down next to Riker on the floor, and rubbed his shoulder.
"Do you remember that night we got stuck in the elevator?"
Riker nodded slowly.
"I asked you the same thing. I really didn't think things would ever get better. But you know what? They did."
"How!? Your mom's in the hospital, and you're living with your dad!"
"Well yeah. But I mean… My mom might be in the hospital, but she's ok, and she's coming home on Tuesday. And I might be living with Cody and my dad. But I've lived with them my whole life. Sure I want to kill my dad, but at least they're learning how to do things around the house so I don't have to!"
"I seriously don't know how you're making it through all this!"
"Normally I wouldn't have been able to."
"Then why were you able to now?"
"Because I had you."