Chapter 45: Day 40

Linka's grandma is waiting for us when we land. Judging from the smile on her face, she's very happy to see Linka…me too I guess based on the big hug she gives me.

She gives Linka a look over.

"I am so glad you both made it," then she turns to me and says, "You have taken good care of my granddaughter, just as you promised."

I smile and nod at her, happy that I've gotten her approval. She then turns to Linka and asks, "Are you all better now Little Bird?"

"Da, I am fine now."

It's not completely true, but what Gram doesn't know won't hurt her.

"Good, good," she says as we follow her into the house. "Wheeler, you know where to put your things?"

"Yes Ma'am," I say as I carry our bags down the hallway. Linka gave me a look that said "I'm sorry," but I didn't mind at all. I kinda liked that Gram was ordering me around like she would any other member of the family. It makes me feel like I'm a part of things, and not just a guest, nothing more than Linka's care taker, along for the ride. As I take our things back to the bedrooms, Linka goes with Gram back towards the kitchen, happily chatting away.

I'm still really disappointed about the sleeping arrangements. I know it's only right across the hall from her and if she really needed me, I could get there quickly…and knowing that she's still close should be somewhat comforting…I'm just being selfish and worrying about what this trip is going to mean for us. When she makes it through the night just fine, she's gonna realize she doesn't need me. This sucks.

I return to the kitchen and lean against the door frame, waiting to be noticed. Her back is to me as she chops vegetables. I want to walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her, rest my chin on her shoulder, and turn my head to kiss her cheek. If we were on Hope Island, I would have…but we're not. We're in the Soviet Union and the eyes of her friends and family are all on us. I have a feeling if I did what I wanted to do, that knife she's using could be pointed at places I'm not very comfortable with sharp objects being pointed at. I smile at the thought of her feisty reaction and part of me wants to do it, just to get a reaction out of her, but part of me knows better than to be silly at such a serious time…but just because it's a funeral dinner doesn't make me want to be close to her any less. If anything, I want to be closer to her to show her my support.

"Wheeler," Gram says, bringing me back to reality. "Would you mind helping Alexei set up the table in the other room? It is best if we have everything set up before we go to church."

"Uh sure…" I say. I look at Linka and get rewarded with one of her beautiful smiles before Gram leads me into the dining room and introduces me to Alexei. She's speaking Russian and the only word I recognize is my name. He gives me a curious look and then smiles.

"His English is only slightly better than your Russian," Gram says. "I think you two will manage to work it out though."

"Hi," I say to Alexei as I extend my hand to him. "Nice to meet you."

"Da, you too."

I'm glad I was able to help. Alexei is an old man so this would have been difficult for him to do alone. He leads me over to his house next door and shows me the table that he's letting Linka's family borrow. We make it to the door and he unexpectedly sets his side down.

"We break," he says.

I give him a confused look…we didn't break anything…at least I don't think we did. I give the table another look, checking the legs and making sure they're secure. I don't see anything wrong. When I look up, Alexei is gone. Great. Now what?

He returns with a bottle in each hand. He wipes his brow and hands me a bottle.

Ooooh, we're taking a break. Well, I guess we've earned it.

"Uh, Spasiba," I say as I raise my bottle to him. I'm not so sure it's a good idea to be drinking right before we head to the church for the service, but I am thirsty and we did work up quite a sweat. Never had foreign beer before. "Oh wow."

"Is good, da?"

"Da," I agree. Much better than that cheap, watered down crap I used to steal from my dad.

"So you are Linka's Yankee?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess." I didn't know how to explain to Alexei that we aren't a couple. We are just friends.

"You take good care of her?"

"I try."

"I know her since she was baby. You better make her happy," he warns, but in a friendly, non-threatening manner.

"I want to."

He smiles and nods.

"Her grandmother likes you. You make good impression. That is very important."

"Yeah…I'm glad. Her grandmother is a very good lady. I like her too."

"You know Mishka?"

I shake my head. "No."

"He love Linka very much. He give you trouble."

Who the hell is that? Ex-boyfriend? Current boyfriend? She's never mentioned him, but then again, neither one of us have ever talked about our home lives until recently. I want to go to her and ask who this Mishka guy is, but at the same time, I don't think I want to know the answer.

"Is he here?" I ask.

"Nyet. University."

Great…an older, educated man. Perfect for her. Exactly what she deserves. He can give her everything that I can't. I guess that kinda explains why, despite all my efforts, she hasn't completely given in to my flirtations. I may be able to get her attention occasionally, but someone else has her heart.

I drain the rest of my drink, as does Alexei, and he offers to take my bottle and throw it away.

"Uh, don't you have a recycling program here?" I ask.

"What?"

"Recycling?"

Alexei continues to stare blankly at me.

"Never mind," I say, too defeated and disappointed to care.

"Ready?" He asks as he takes hold of one end of the table.

"Da," I reply sadly.

Once Alexei and I have the table in place, Gram informs me that I should probably go get ready. I've worked up quite a sweat and need a shower. I finish getting dressed, but have one small problem…the tie. I could probably do it myself…or at least attempt…but I don't want to. I want Linka to do it. I want her to take care of me. I need her to.

I knock on her door and wait for her answer.

"Come in."

I smile at her, slightly ashamed of myself for the lame excuse I've made up to be close to her.

"Hey."

Before I have a chance to ask, she's walking towards me and starts working on my tie. I like how close she gets to me…a little closer than necessary; close enough that I don't have to reach far to rest my hands on her hips.

"Thanks Babe."

"You are welcome Yankee."

She finishes but doesn't back away. We just stand there gazing at each other, but it's not awkward. She gets even closer than she was before and wraps her arms around me.

"Thank you for coming with me," she says softly.

I put my arms around her and rest my head against hers, savoring the moment.

"You're welcome."

I want to ask her about Mishka. Who is he? If she's so important to him, why isn't he here taking care of her? Where has he been this whole time? Doesn't he care about what happens to her? The pain she's feeling now? The hell she's been going through over the last 40 days. Can I ask all these questions without breaking down? Can I speak around the lump that's closing up my throat? Where is he? Huh? What's he got that I don't? I'm here! Can't she see that? Why won't she pick me?

My internal battle is halted when Gram suddenly enters the room. Linka quickly pulls out of my embrace.

"Oh I am sorry! I did not mean to interrupt!" She says, with a slight smile.

"You are not," Linka insists.

Gram smiles, and gives us both a look that says she doesn't believe us…I wish she was right, but she's not.

"It is time to leave. Dimitri will be waiting for us at the church."

"Can't keep Dimitri waiting!" I mumble under my breath.

Oops, judging by the look that Linka is giving me, she didn't appreciate my comment. Once again, my mouth gets me in trouble. She follows her grandmother and doesn't even glance back to see if I follow. I bet Mishka never upsets her like I do. I bet he's way more mature than me.

While we're walking to the church, I'm walking between Linka and Gram. I offer both of them an arm to hold. Gram accepts it with a warm smile. Linka ignores it, sending the message loud and clear that she's pissed at me. Ok, so she won't touch me…maybe she'll talk to me. Gram probably thinks that Linka is avoiding contact with me because of how she "caught" us earlier…but she'll notice if Linka doesn't talk to me when I ask a simple question.

"So, tell me again what the forty days is about?"

I silently hope that Gram lets Linka answer.

Linka gives the explanation, coolly, calmly, and without looking at me. Why won't she look at me? If she'd just look at me, I could let her know that I'm sorry…that I agree with her that I'm a huge idiot. She finally looks up at me. Have I ruined everything with one stupid utterance? She rolls her eyes and gives in, linking her arm with mine. I smile happily. Crisis averted…again…for now. On the other side of me, I can hear Gram chuckling, probably at the foolishness of a lovesick Yankee.

The priest and Linka's uncle are standing at the church entrance. It's only been a little over a month since the last time I saw him, but he looks really bad. While Linka has put on weight and gotten a healthier, more colorful look to her, Dmitri has dark, sunken in eyes. He looks lifeless. It makes sense though. When a loved one dies, a part of you dies with them. Despite what a jerk he was to Linka and me last time we were here, I kinda feel bad for the guy. We'll see if I still feel that way when we get closer to the church. He better not say anything to her…I swear, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from doing or saying something that'll just make Linka and Gram mad at me.

Surprisingly Dmitri is nice to us…although he doesn't bother to look up, so maybe he didn't even know it was us. When we take our places, Linka surprises me by placing her hand in mine and resting her head on my shoulder. It's a rare public display of affection. I guess it's her way of letting me know that she's glad I'm here. So am I. I let her know that by squeezing her hand.

To Be Continued…

And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Linka's side of the story in Chapter 45 of LouiseX's Codependence!