Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay. Kinda forgot about this one! Started getting this chapter ready at the end of December and then it got pushed to the back burner. Hope it was worth the wait!

Chapter 46: Day 40, Continued

This service seems like the funeral. I guess. I can't really tell since it's all in Russian. This really is a nice building. The structure, the statues, the altar…but somehow it seems like the perfect place for a funeral…I wonder if it gives off a happier energy during happier occasions? Like, if there were a wedding? Sure, the people in the church would be happier; smiling instead of crying…hopefully. Right now, the inside is dark. The candles flicker slowly, the flames dull and low. This is Linka's family's church…were her grandparents married here? Were her parents? Did she grow up imagining that this is where her own wedding would be? I can picture her standing at the altar; Elegant yet simple dress. She doesn't need anything fancy to be a beautiful bride. She's already got the beautiful part covered. She'd be smiling. She hasn't had much to smile about lately…not when she's here anyway. If I'm lucky, I'd be the one standing next to her up there and she'd be smiling at me.

Stupid. Pay attention to what's going on now and not imagining a future that'll never exist. If I'd been paying attention, I'd have noticed that Linka is crying. I remove my hand from hers, only so that I can put it around her. She turns her head into my side, my jacket muffling her sobs and absorbing her tears.

When we're leaving the church, I ask her if she wants to visit her parents. I figured she might want to since it's not often we get home to see our loved ones and even though they're not here anymore, visiting them might make her feel a little better.

She shakes her head, but informs me that she'd like to…that she needs to visit Boris' grave.

Oh. Well…I guess. If that's what she wants…if that'll make her feel better…

"Sure Babe."

I begin walking with her but she stops me.

"Alone. Please?"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea."

She lets me know with the spunk of the "old Linka" that she doesn't give a shit what I think. After she verbally castrates me in front of her grandmother and a few of the nearby funeral goers, I have no choice but to back down and hope that no one else there understands English.

"Uh, OK…I'll just uh…wander around."

Is that even normal? No. How weird is that going to look? Some guy just walking around a cemetery for no reason.

"Come Wheeler. I would like some company while I say hello to my husband, if you do not mind," Grandma says to me.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. If you don't mind me tagging along. I mean, I don't want to intrude."

"It is no intrusion. I'd like to tell you about him if you care to listen to an old woman reminiscing."

"I'd love to hear all about him," I say as I offer her my arm and walk with her to her husband's headstone.

"This is my Sergei. Linka's grandfather. He loved her so much. He loved all of his grandchildren of course, but Linka always had a special place in his heart."

"Her dad was your son, right?"

"Da. It is not easy to have to bury a child. I know what Dmitri is feeling right now," she says as she wipes away a tear.

"Are you ok Gram?" I ask as I put my arm around her for comfort.

She smiles at me and nods. Then she leans down to brush her fingers over the smooth stone of the grave marker. I kneel down and wipe away some grass clippings left by the grounds crew.

"It's gotta be just as hard losing a grandchild," I offer.

"Da. Those who are born after us are not supposed to die before us. It is not fair," she replies as she stands up straight again.

"I'm sorry…you've had a lot of tragedy in your life."

"I thought the worst thing I would ever see is watching my son lose his wife at such a young age and leaving him to raise a family on his own…that is why Sergei and I offered our home to them. With Linka's father working all the time, it just made sense for us to all live together."

"That was generous of you," I say.

"It is an easy thing to do when you love someone…make sacrifices for them…to do whatever is necessary for their happiness."

"Yeah."

"Having Linka around brought a brightness into our home. She was just a baby when her mother got ill."

"She doesn't remember her," I say sadly.

"Nyet. She is very much like her though. In her actions as well as her looks. I will show you pictures."

"That'd be nice…if it's no trouble…I don't want to bring up any sad memories or make things weird."

"Nyet. I enjoy looking at old photos."

"Me too," I say, thinking of the old photo album I have full of memories of my childhood. Happy times. "There's this saying that someone said to me when my cousin died a few years ago. 'When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.'"

"That is beautiful…and very true. When Linka's father died, it was very unexpected. At least with her mother, we had time to prepare. Mikhail's death left a huge void in all of our lives. She had been very close to her father. She was his world and he was hers. She took it very hard. As did Sergei. He blamed himself."

"Why?" Opps, maybe that's a little too personal. "I'm sorry. That's none of my business."

"Nonsense. I am telling you a personal story…it is ok to ask questions," she says as she takes my hand and squeezes it before continuing. "He was a foreman in the mines…Mikhail followed in his father's footsteps…it was just the way things were. Dmitri worked in the mines too until he met his wife. Her father was the one who got Dmitri into politics and eventually a job as Soviet ambassador to the US."

"So it was a mining accident that killed her dad?"

"Da…she has never talked to you about it?"

"No…and I've never asked."

"She clung to my husband after that. He became the father figure in her life…as did Dmitri. She took it very hard when he moved to America and took Boris. Once again, she felt she lost loved ones…but she still had Sergei. When she came home from school, the room brightened. She did her homework, did her chores, helped with dinner, and after dinner, she would play chess with her grandfather. He taught her, but soon she was beating him. She insisted that he must have let her win, but I know better…he would never let anyone beat him, not even his own granddaughter. He was proud of her when she would beat him though."

"So I have him to blame for all the time she kicks my butt at chess?"

"Da," she chuckles.

"How long ago did he pass?"

"Three years."

"It must have been hard on her…and you."

"I had many wonderful years with Sergei. We raised a family together and watched them start families of their own. Sadly we have watched too many of those family members leave before their time. Poor Linka has suffered so much loss. Her parents, her grandfather, and her cousin."

"And to a certain extent, her uncle," I say.

"Da…hopefully he will come around though."

"Yeah…otherwise, you're all she has."

"Nyet…she has you."

"Right."

"You know, you remind me of Sergei."

"Oh yeah? He was extremely handsome too?" I joke.

She laughs at my joke. Even though she's many years older, she still has the same light in her eye that Linka has when she laughs.

"Da…he was extremely handsome and charming…and funny. He could always find a way to make me laugh, even when I was trying not to. It was impossible to stay mad at him."

Hmm, that sounds vaguely familiar.

"He also cared about Linka and her happiness more than anything," she adds.

"We have that in common too."

"I know," she says as she places her hand on my arm. "I am glad she has you to take care of her."

"Yeah…not for much longer though."

"Oh? Are you going somewhere?"

"No…but she's getting better. She won't need me," I say sadly. "Which is a good thing…I'm glad she's getting better. I'm gonna miss her though."

"Is SHE going somewhere?"

"Well, no but…things will be back to normal."

"And what was 'normal' like?" She asks.

"Linka being independent…not being in pain…not needing me to…be around so much. She can go back to being herself."

"And what about you? What is 'normal' like for you?"

I chuckle.

"Well, I'll just go back to flirting shamelessly with her and pretending I'm ok when she shoots me down."

"Really? You two are really just friends? Not pretending for my sake or so that Dmitri does not use it against you?"

"Nope. We're really just friends."

"She is a foolish girl."

"I'm sure she has her reasons," I say sadly. After hearing about all the losses she's suffered, I can see why she'd be afraid to get attached to someone else; the fear of losing them.

"But this was all…before? Right?"

"Yeah."

"Surely things are different now. How could she possibly go back?"

"I don't know…I wasn't really expecting anything. I didn't help her through this because I thought it would lead to more. I did it because she's my friend and I want her to get better. And she is."

"And now, you are just going to walk away?" She asks.

"I guess. If that's what she's expecting."

"And what if she wants you to stay?"

"Then all she has to do is ask."

"She has had so much loss in her life Wheeler. I do not think she can take anymore."

"I know. I'll always be here for her. You too Gram. If you or your family ever needs anything, don't be afraid to ask. I'm just a phone call away," I say as I put my arm around her and hug her to my side.

"Thank you Wheeler. That is very kind of you. I am glad Linka has you. It is comforting to know that she is being looked after when she is so far away from home."

"You're welcome."

Grandma turns to look at her husband's grave and says something in Russian. Then we hear someone clearing their throat behind us and turn to see Linka.

"Hey Babe…you ok?" I ask as I go to her. It's obvious she's been crying. I open my arms to her and she steps into them, fitting perfectly.

She nods and says "Da," her response muffled in my chest.

She pulls away and kneels at her grandfather's grave, saying something in Russian. Gram looks at her and then looks to me and smiles. Linka stands up and returns to my side, casually placing her hand in mine as if we do it all the time. And we have been doing stuff like that a lot more frequently, but in the past, it's been for comfort, or support. Today it's like…it's like it was "just because." Not because she needed to, but because she wanted to.

To Be Continued…

And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Linka's side of the story in Chapter 46 of LouiseX's Codependence!