A/N: Sorry for the long wait between chapters. We actually finished writing this story long ago (started writing it in June 2009, and were done by December 2010), but after reading and re-reading (and probably getting better acquainted with the characters the more we wrote them in our other stories), neither one of us were really happy with how the last chapter went when the time was nearing to post it.

I pretty much started all over again with Wheeler's part, then had to wait for LouiseX's response for Linka, and then she'd change things for Linka and have to wait on me to make Wheeler's side match up...even last week when we thought we were done and proof reading, we ended up making minor tweeks. So here is the final product, the final chapter. Hope you like it.

Chapter 50 Day 41, continued

"Home sweet home," I say as I offer Linka my hand to help her out of the Geo Cruiser.

"Da," she says as she stretches her arms above her head and then reaches down to touch her toes.

"You ok? Not cramping up are you?"

"Nyet, I feel fine. No different than any other time we have spent hours sitting in the Geo Cruiser."

"Yeah, I hear ya. What'd ya say we put our things back in our cabins, let the others know we're back, and then go for a walk…if you're up for it?"

"Da, that sounds like a good idea."

After dropping our things off and chatting with the others for a bit about our trip, we go for our walk. It was a longer one than usual because Linka insists that she's feeling up to it. That makes me happy to hear. We stop at a point of the island where the sand meets the grass. It makes for a nice, plush seating area. She might not admit it, but I think a rest would be good for her, just to make sure she's not pushing herself. I sit down first and then tug at her hand to get her to join me. I was expecting her to sit next to me, but am pleasantly surprised when she sits in front of me, between my legs and leans her back against my chest. I rest my arms on my knees and encircle my arms around her. I turn my head to press my lips against the side of her head. She's wearing one of the hoodies I gave her…it's never looked so good.

We sit there for hours just talking about everything and nothing. It's amazing the change we've gone through; how comfortable we are with each other. Before, the littlest intimate moment between us would be awkward, now it's just natural.

I reach into my pocket, pull out a small box, and hold it out in front of her.

"What is this?" She asks.

"Just a little something I got you."

"What is the occasion?"

"No occasion. It's a 'just because' gift."

"Those are my favorite kind," she says, as she tilts her head back to look up and smile at me.

"I thought maybe that after going back to Russia, you were going to need a little something to cheer you up. Fortunately the trip home was a good one and you don't really need cheered up…you know what, maybe I should just keep this for another time," I tease as I pull the box away.

"Nyet!" She pouts, grabbing my arm before I can put the box in my pocket. "Give it to me!"

I hold my arm up, keeping the box out of her reach, and she pushes me backwards so that she's pinning me down. I could easily flip us and switch positions…so I do.

"Wheeler!" She squeals.

"You want this?" I taunt, moving the box in and out of her reach. "Come get it…why don't you just take it? Don't you want it?"

She gives up the fight and looks up at me with the sweetest, most pathetic look I've ever seen. A classic "Puppy Dog" look.

"Aww damn it!"

I roll off her and resume our previous position with her sitting between my legs and leaning against my chest.

"Here," I say, finally handing the box to her.

She opens it up and gushes.

"Oh Wheeler! Another charm!"

This isn't just any charm. It's not just for her…it's for us. In grade school, all the girls had these "best friend" necklaces. Two halves of a heart "B-E F-R-I" on one, "S-T E-N-D-S" on the other. I never understood those things. The girls in my school were so…I don't know…wishy washy. One week they were best friends with someone, the next week, they were giving the other half of their necklace to someone else. I'll never do that when it comes to Linka. I meant it when I told her I'd always be there for her. Forever. Best friends. Hopefully, more than friends someday. The charm is much smaller than the necklaces the girls in school used to wear of course, but the symbolism is still the same.

She takes one of the charms from the box, looks back at me, and asks,

"Do you have something to put your half on or shall I keep it until we can get a chain?"

My half?! She wants me to keep the other half? I mean, I meant it be a symbol of our friendship, and yeah, it was probably meant to be given as a gift by someone who also had a bracelet so they could keep the other half…but as much as I value our friendship and want everyone to know how close we are…there's no way in hell I'm gonna get myself a matching bracelet!

"Uh…wow…I wasn't expecting that you'd give me the other half."

"Is that not what you are supposed to do with these things?"

I can see it in her eyes, she's worried she's done something wrong…made an assumption. It's still hard to tell where she is emotionally sometimes. Her physical symptoms of the withdrawal seem to be getting better, but it's the emotional scars that are going to take longer to heal. I quickly reassure her that she's done nothing wrong.

"Yeah, yeah…that's what you're supposed to do…it's just…I don't think it's very often that a guy gives a girl a gift like this…usually it's two girls and the other girl would have a matching bracelet."

"Like I said, I can keep it until you get a chain for it…or if it will make you feel less masculine wearing it, I will just keep both."

She's trying to sound tough, like she's not bothered by it, but I can tell she is.

"Nope, I don't have a problem wearing jewelry…obviously," I say as I hold up my ring hand. "A bracelet…yeah, I wouldn't wear that but, here…I have something…"

I reach under the collar of my shirt and pull out the necklace that my mom got me for my confirmation.

"I just wasn't expecting you'd give me half…but it really means a lot to me that you want to."

She smiles at me and says,

"Well, it means a lot to me that you gave this to me too."

I just hope it doesn't give the impression that BEST FRIENDS is all I want to be. I want more…so much more.

The medal on my necklace has Saint Joseph on it, my middle name and my confirmation name. He's the patron saint of social justice…kinda appropriate now, if you ask me. Of course when I chose the name, I had no idea what my future held. Mostly I chose it because I was lazy and didn't want to do the research that my fellow CCD students were putting into their search for a confirmation name. I hated the name Joseph. I hated that I had my dad's name as my middle name, but now that I'm older I've made a connection to it. Supposedly, God chose Joseph to look after and take care of Jesus and Mary…just like Gaia has chosen me to take care of the Earth…and like I've taken it upon myself to take care of Linka. I thread the charm onto my silver rope chain, the half heart resting over my Saint Joseph medal.

"You're my best friend Babe. I'd do anything for you."

"I know, Yankee," she pauses as she wipes a tear from her cheek. "You have been such a good friend to me. The best that I could have asked for."

She puts the charm on her bracelet and holds her hand up to my chest, holding our two charms together.

"There, now it is official and I feel very fortunate," she says.

Hearing that makes me so happy. I can't even describe how good it feels to know that she likes it.

"I'm glad…I just…I wanted you to know. And I know there are times when I make you mad, but at least with that charm, you'll always have a reminder."

"Not that I need reminding," she assures me. "I always know."

She lifts her head up and kisses my cheek.

"Good," I say as I give her a squeeze and press my lips to the side of her head.

I think it's safe to say that I love Linka…and not just as a friend. I'm IN love with her. I have this NEED to protect her. And I'm not confusing my feelings of protection and friendship for love. I love all my friends…I'd do anything to protect them…but I'd sacrifice my life for Linka…to save her. That's how I know I don't just love her as a friend. I'm gonna tell her this, lay it all on the line…and I have a really good feeling about it. I think we've made progress in our relationship and she feels the same. I'm confident that when I tell her how I feel, she'll tell me that she feels the same, and that'll be it. That'll be all it takes to seal the deal and make things between us official. I'll tell her tonight when we're getting ready for bed. That way, no one else is around…and maybe, with any luck, we'll not just tell each other how we really feel, but show each other too.

"You are awfully quiet Yankee…are you feeling ok?" She teases as she leans back against me and rests her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, fine," I chuckle. "Just thinkin'."

"Do not hurt yourself!" She smiles up at me, in a playful mood and getting back to the banter we used to share. She's slowly getting back to the old Linka…just as long as she doesn't go back to the old Linka that wouldn't let me in. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just tryin' to sort some things out. I'll tell you all about it later," I promise as I put my arms around her and hug her to me. "Let's just watch the sun set."

"Ok," she agrees as she looks forward, still leaning her head back to rest against me.

Once the sun has dipped below the horizon, I break the silence.

"We should be heading back before it gets too dark, plus I'm getting hungry. You?"

"Da, I can go for something."

It seems her appetite is returning.

"Good."

She stands up first, not needing any help from me, then turns around and offers me her hand…she's gonna help me up?! I take her hand to steady myself, but use my other hand and legs to stand, not wanting her to bear the burden of pulling me. I stand in front of her, close. Our bodies almost touching. I lean forward to close the short distance and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Thanks for the lift," I say.

"Anytime."

I put my arm around her shoulder, she leans into me, and that's how we stayed for the rest of our walk back.

The others have already had their dinner and left us plates of leftovers in the fridge. We re-heated those and ate while we continued to casually converse about anything that popped into mind. I was surprised to see that she ate all of her food. Ever since we came up with a new diet, she seems to be able to eat more. We started with very small portions and have been working up to more. It's not quite back to normal serving size, but it's nice to see her eating something other than crackers and fruit and not look like she's struggling to finish her meal.

After we eat, we go to her cabin to get ready for bed. Our nightly routine has become just that…a routine. Instead of taking turns in the bathroom, we are both sharing the bathroom to do our nightly rituals…well, besides showering…maybe some day though! For now, it's just brushing our teeth and washing our faces. Linka takes longer than me because she's got some sort of nightly make up removal procedure. I don't get it. She takes off her make up, washes up, and then reapplies more stuff to her face…cream or something that she rubs in. She claims it makes her skin softer, unclogs pores, and scrubs away dead skin cells. Whatever…she's beautiful, so it must be working! Not that she needs it. She's gorgeous no matter what.

I'm already in bed waiting for her when she exits the bathroom. Something is different about her.

"You're not wearing a sweatshirt," I say as I observe her in only a t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Da," she answers as she crawls into bed next to me. "The last few nights, I have been getting hot in the middle of the night. I thought I would try to sleep without it tonight."

"Cool," I reply as I put my arm over her midsection. "You know, if you get too hot, you can just throw my arm off and push me away."

She rolls over to face me.

"I think I will be fine. Without the sweatshirt, I may need your warmth more."

"Ok," I say with a smile.

We lay like that for a while before I finally get the courage to say what I was thinking about earlier.

"So you're feeling better then?"

"Da…I think I may finally be getting back to normal. I am really noticing a difference since we set up that diet and exercise routine. I am not as cold, my appetite is returning, I am not as nauseous, my muscles do not feel as tense…and I owe it all to you. Thank you," she says as she lifts her head up to kiss my cheek.

I turn my head so that our lips make contact instead and linger there.

"You're welcome."

She blushes before laying her head back down on my shoulder.

Of course I'm happy that she's recovering, but selfishly, I'm worried about where that leaves me and my involvement in her life.

"I'm glad you're feeling better Babe. I knew you could get through this."

"I could not have done it without you Jason. I know I pushed you away at first, but I really am grateful that you have been here for me and never gave up on me. I know I did not make things easy…I know I scared you. I scared myself. But that is all in the past now. Only good days from now on."

"That's what I wanted to hear."

More silence as we lay there. I once more build up the courage to approach the subject of "us" again.

"No aches, no nightmares since we found out that Skumm didn't…violate you…Soon, you won't need me anymore…So…where does that leave us?"

"Us?"

I know she knows what I mean. There's no need for me to explain it so I don't say anything, just nod.

"I…this whole time, you have been the best friend to me that I could have hoped for. You are my best friend! I do not know what I would have done without you. I do not even want to think about the possibilities."

"Me neither." There is a brief pause and when she doesn't say anything, I continue.

"I know you're getting better, and I'm glad…but..."

I'm not sure how to say this. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should just shut up and leave things alone. I should have never started this conversation, but she prompts me to continue. Maybe she wants to have it.

"But?"

"I just want you to know how much you mean to me. What your friendship means to me. I never thought I'd ever get this close to you...and I certainly wish the circumstances were different. I think we can both agree that things are much different between us now than they were before."

"Da."

I shake my head. "You keep thanking me and saying you couldn't have gotten through this without me, but the truth is, I should be thanking you too."

"For what?"

I tell her all the things that she has helped me work through recently...how helping her helped me accept the fact that I couldn't help my cousin and I let her know that she could not have helped hers either. I don't want her living with the guilt that I've lived with all these years. It's been unnecessary guilt and she needs to realize that too.

"Wheeler please… can we discuss this later?"

"Yeah. Sure. That's all I wanted to say really. I just wanted you to know. I'd like it if we could get all of the feelings these last few weeks have stirred up out in the open...so there's no...confusion."

She tells me she likes where we are now, and I agree, it's much better than where we were before. She likes how close we've gotten...but that's it. She doesn't want anymore, at least that's what it sounds like she's saying. She needs stability and I guess I can understand that. Relationships can be an emotional rollercoaster on a good day. She really shouldn't be opening herself up to the vulnerability of all those mixed emotions. And I know that as hard as I try to keep things good all the time, I'm gonna have my moments of weakness where I make her angry or annoyed and we'll fight and blow up at each other like we used to...and that's not good for her. I know she'll get through this and she'll be fully recovered some day and free of the affects of the Bliss, but asking too much of her too soon...her last statement really gets to me though.

"...I need to know you will be there."

Her questioning whether or not I would hurt me. It cut me deeper than the knife that just barely missed my heart. Her last statement went right through it.

"Of course I'll be there! I want to be more to you, not less."

"I am not ready for what I think you are suggesting. I need to be myself again for a while before I make any big decisions. I need things to get back to normal, and that includes things between us."

"Just friends," I confirm. I don't know why this hurts as much as it does. We're just kids. Well, technically, I'm an "adult" now, but am I really ready for a long term commitment? Linka's not the kinda girl who is just looking for a fling...and I don't just want to have a fling with her. Yes, I have feelings for her, but Linka is the kinda girl I'd wanna spend forever with...and am I really ready for "forever?" Hell no. Neither of us are. Maybe I should just be happy with the strides we've made in becoming better friends? Maybe what happened between us now will be better off for us in the future, when we are ready.

"Please understand Wheeler."

"I get it. I do. It doesn't make it any easier, but I understand where you're coming from. I uh…I'm sorry if you feel like I'm pressuring you. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I just wanted you to know what the last month and a half has meant to me."

"It is ok…I just do not want things to change between us."

"But they have changed…what you mean is, you just want things to go back to the way they were before?"

"Da…and nyet. I am sorry if I led you to believe that anything more would come of this. I just… A relationship would change everything far more than my illness did… if it did not work between us it could ruin everything. I could not handle losing your friendship. I am still too weak, not so much physically anymore, but mentally. It would push me over the edge for sure."

"I don't want that to happen," I say as I sit up and swing my feet over the side of the bed. I take a moment to compose myself before getting up. "Maybe I should go back to my own room now."

"Why?" She asks.

"You don't need me anymore Linka. This needs to end eventually if we are going to try and get back to normal…it'll be easier if we get used to going back to the way things used to be…if that's the way you want them to be."

"You are right," she agrees. Wow...finally, she says I'm right about something and it hurts like hell. For once, I wish I was wrong.

"Wheeler…"

I stop to look at her as I reach the doorway. She's sitting up in the bed, clutching the sheets to her body. She looks so sad, like someone who is trying to be strong, despite being hurt and scared. It reminds me of my mother. Damn it. This is so hard. Every part of me wants to go to her, scoop her into my arms and cradle her, tell her it will all be ok and that I'll never leave...but I can't. Not if I'm supposed to let things go "back to normal."

"I gotta go Babe. I've been selfish."

"I do still need you," she says quietly.

"I know, but you're well enough to get through the nights, and you know I'm always gonna be here for you any time you need to talk, and I'll keep working out with you as we build up your stamina, but at night, I need to sleep alone. I'm starting to become co-dependant on you."

And with that, I left. Back to my room for the most restless night of sleep I've had in a long time.

The End

And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Linka's side of the story in Chapter 50 of LouiseX's Codependence!

A/N: Wow, it was so hard to keep them apart, but we wanted to keep it true to the show, so since they weren't together romantically at this point of the show, we couldn't do it. Hope it was worth the wait, even though I know it's not a happy ending.

I'd like to thank LouiseX for being such an awesome co-author. It was really fun writing with her and being so excited about each email with a new section to read. Even though half the time, I already knew what was happening because I'd written Wheeler's side, seeing how it was interpreted through Linka was like reading something all new. The worst part was how my spell check would go nuts when I'd copy some "U.K. English" into a Word Doc (all those useless "U's" and lack of "Z's") when it's set to "U.S. English." It was an honor (honour) to work with someone so talented and a privilege to gain a great friend.