"You will always end up... right here..." Sam's voice echoed in my head a few times before I awoke with a jolt. I sat up quickly and realized I was back in our normal hotel... fresh paint and windows that weren't shattered.
It was dark and I pushed myself off the bed and looked around. "Dean?" I called out when I noticed he wasn't next to me. I walked over to the light switch and flicked it and the light flickered before it turned on.
"Well I see you mad it back in one piece." Zachariah's annoying voice startled me and I turned quickly to see him leaning on the counter.
"Where's Dean?" I asked quickly.
"He is still marinating... I just wanted you to see what became of... well yourself." He laughed. "So what'd you think?" He smiled with a shrug. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"What did I think?" I asked. "I think your a dick with wings that likes playing with people's emotions and lives." I shook my head.
"You should watch your tone with me... girl." He snarled.
"No. I will not watch my tone." I mocked him. "I'll do whatever I damn well please... you seem to live by the same rule."
"Enough!" He yelled. "You saw what happened... you know what you do and guess what... Dean dies." I didn't want to believe him so I just stared at him. "He continues down this path of saying no... everyone dies Clara. Sam, You, Castiel, and him."
"You got a point?" I asked with an exhale.
"You need to make him say yes." Zachariah stood straight and started to walk toward me. "You need to make him see that what he thinks is right is actually wrong. Dean is thick headed but for some reason you are the only one that can get through to him. So you'll make him say yes." He ordered.
"Or what? You'll kill me again?" I asked.
"That was Sam." He corrected. "If you don't do this... I'll make you wish you were dead." He barked and I jumped a bit at the poison in his voice as he stepped closer to me. "You think you know pain..." He laughed. "Please, I'll show you what pain really is."
"Do what you want to me. I will never do what you ask." I snapped right back at him. I was trying so hard not to look afraid. Zachariah may be a dick but he sure was intimidating at times. "Never." I smiled back and he took a step away.
"You won't cooperate willingly? Fine..." He said reaching a hand forward. I closed my eyes quickly not wanting to see what happens. I expected pain or being unable to control my body but nothing happened. I held my breath and kept my eyes shut tightly.
It was quiet for a long time before a familar voice spoke. "Clara?" He asked placing a hand on my shoulder.
I opened my eyes quickly. "Cas!" I nearly yelled as I launched forward and hugged him. He sighed but didn't hug me back.
"What was that for?" He squinted as I stepped back. He looked so awkward standing there confused.
I smiled at him and his trench coat. "Just for being you." I smiled and he looked confused. I patted him on the shoulder and then suddenly we were in another hotel room. I looked around and when I saw Dean sitting on the bed with his head in his hands I smiled. I looked back to Cas and he flew off. "Dean." I smiled walking over.
Once Dean heard me he stood and looked at me. His sorrowful look turned to a happy smile as he rushed forward and hugged me. I heard a small sigh of relief escape him as I hugged him back. Te hug lasted a few seconds before another sigh came from Dean only this one didn't sound happy. Then came the words that no girl ever wants to hear.
"Listen... we need to talk." He stepped back and away from me. I titled my head as he walked to the other side of the room turning his back on me.
"Okay? Something I should be worried about?" I asked watching him as he slowly paced. He shook his head and looked down. It was like he couldn't look at me or something. "Dean?" I asked taking a step forward causing him to take another step back. He was already far enough away that there was space between us, so why keep moving? "Dean?" I questioned again and he snapped.
"You have to go to Virginia." He said quickly but didn't look at me. "You need to go back to the FBI and be normal again. No more hunting, no more angels, and no more apocalypse." He shook his head.
"Um... why?" I asked confused.
"Because!" He yelled looking up. "You just have to." He sighed. "Me and Sam can handle this... you just need to... stay away." He sighed.
"Stay away?" I asked hurt he would ever ask me that. I watched as he sighed not liking his choice of words. "And you and Sam are talkin' now?" I asked.
"He's meeting me at Bobby's tomorrow night, and you can't be there." Dean said his back straightening like he was trying to stand his ground.
"Wait..." I laughed. "Is this because of what happened in bizarro 2014?" I asked and Dean said nothing. "You know that's only one possibility right?" I asked, Dean still said nothing. "None of that is gonna happen. So why don't we just forget about this and go to Bobby's." I said with a small smile.
"NO!" Dean yelled loudly and I jumped. Dean rarely yelled at me but when he did I knew he was either really pissed or trying to protect me from something. "Damn it no..." He sighed.
"Is this your way of breaking up with me?" I asked quietly not really knowing what else to call this.
"If that's how you wanna see it." He said.
"Well then how do you see it?" I asked.
Dean sighed as he looked up at me. His face changed when he saw mine. It was like he saw the hurt and confusion on my eyes and it made him sad. "I see it as not wanting to hate you, not wanting to watch you die again, and not wanting you to be unhappy." He said in a softer tone.
"Dean... I could never hate you and who says I'm not happy." I smiled but he could see it was a fake one.
"I can't give you what he can..." Dean sighed.
"Who?" I asked.
"Derek."
"Derek? This is about Derek? Come on he's getting married to Penelope." I laughed at Dean a bit.
"Exactly... you want a normal life, with a job that doesn't involve the supernatural, and you have friends that aren't hunters, I can't have that."
"Well why not?" I asked. " I mean you could... Once you and Sam save the world." I smiled.
"It's always going to be one things after another. I'm never going to get away from this life but you still can." Dean said taking a step closer to me and putting his hands on my arms. "You can get married and have kids... and die when your 90." His smile was sad and it broke my heart.
"But I don't want that." I said looking up.
"Yes you do. I know you do." Dean smiled and I sighed.
"Fine... then I don't want that unless you're there." I shrugged with a smile.
"That's my point... I can't be there." He sighed.
"Wow you really are breaking up with me." I couldn't help but smile at how normal it was. I just never thought I would hear it from him.
"It's for the best... I am just trying to protect you. This is how you stay safe." He smiled as his arms slipped away from me.
"But-" I tried to think of something to say but I couldn't. I didn't want Dean to leave but I knew he didn't want to stay. He turned and headed for the door. "Stay." I said calmly.
"I can't." He shook his head.
"Then stay just one more night." I said and he slowly turned around and I just looked back with a sad look and he sighed. "If you really have to go and we really can't be together... you should stay, just one last night." I sighed looking down.
"If I stay I won't be able to leave." Dean said with a sigh and turned back to the door.
"Stay." I said again as my eyes started to burn. I didn't know what else to do but ask him to stay. He stopped and I walked up behind him. I pulled at his shoulder and he turned his eyes closed. "I'll only ask you once." I said softly as his eyes opened and I stepped into him. "Stay... just one more night." I said softly and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into my lips.
Dean hesitated but soon gave into the kiss. He dropped his jacket on the floor and wrapped his arms around my waist. As he quickly deepened the kiss he lifted me up and started walking toward the bed. I ran one hand through his hair would made him groan a bit as he kicked off his shoes and I did the same. He laid me down quickly and hovered over me. He pulled away just for a second and looked down at me.
Just by the look he gave me I knew I would never see him again. He quickly closed the space between us and started working off my shirt and jeans as I did the same. His lips running up and down my stomach as his hands roamed my body we both let of quiet noises of pleaser. I lightly pulled at Dean's hair as he took his time.
Knowing it was the last time we would be together it lasted longer and was better then any other night we spent together. His name on my exhales and mine on his. Before long I lay next to Dean as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and secretly. My head laying on his bare chest as his thumb stroked my shoulder. He let out a deep sigh and I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling. IT was quiet for a while as he shifted and laid on his side facing me. I smiled at him as he pulled my hand up and held it in his. We both lay on our sides just taking in the last night we had. He wouldn't look at me for a while. Just stared at my hand and kissed it a few times. I watched as his bright green eyes avoided mine and I sighed.
He heard my sad sigh and finally looked up at me. His small smile fell when he noticed the tears in my eyes. As one slipped and rolled down my cheek he quickly whipped it away and stroked my cheek gently. I sighed as he looked at me. "I... I love you Clara." he said quietly.
I shut my eyes quickly and when I heard him speak I heard the crack in his voice. I knew it hurt him just as much to say goodbye and I know he was just trying to protect me but I didn't want him to leave. I knew he would though. "And I love you Dean." My smiled made him lean forward and kiss me again. He pulled me into him and held me close. I didn't want my eyes to close because I knew he would be gone when I opened them but my tiredness betrayed me. My eyes quickly closed as I lay on Dean's chest and held onto him tightly. Maybe if I held on long enough he would be there in the morning.
But I was wrong. Dean had had his share of one night stands and was very good at sneaking out with out the girl realizing. I just never thought I would have to wake up to it. The crows outside the window woke me. It was cold and I looked up at the rest of the bed to find it empty. I sighed as I sat up wrapping the sheet around myself. I didn't know if I should be angry or sad.
I walked over to the window and pulled the curtains to the side. Where the Impala was supposed to be was nothing but a pigeon looking for food. I sighed quickly closing the curtains and rushing to the bathroom to shower.
When the hot water hit my face I didn't ever want to get out. It was so warm here and cold out there. But eventually the hot water would turn cold and I had to get out. I dried my hair pulling it into a pony tail, got dressed and grabbed my jacket. I headed to the main desk and called a cab. I told the cabbie to bring me into the city. When I finally got there I headed for a cell phone store and bought a cheep disposable. The first number I dialled was Dean, he didn't answer. The phone had been disconnected. I tried Sam but his was disconnected as well. I couldn't believe they could both just shut me out so easily.
Next place I headed I hoped to find some comfort. Surely Penelope would make me feel better. I knocked on her door and waited. For a second no one answered. "Derek?" I questioned when he opened the door.
"Clara?" He rubbed his eyes with a small smile. "What are you doing here? I thought you had left already." He sighed.
"No... I'm sticking around for a bit. Where's Penelope?" I asked.
"Uh she's sleeping." He laughed. "We get one day off before a new case and se chooses to sleep in." He shook his head. "You wanna come in?" He asked.
"No no." I smiled. "I just wanted to talk to her but hey when she wakes up tell her to give me a call." I said handing Derek the new number I just got. "No rush or anything." I smiled and quickly walked away.
"Clara." Derek called as I walked down the stairs. I looked up and smiled. "You alright?" He asked.
I didn't know how to answer his question. Of course I wasn't alright but I didn't need him to worry. "Yeah... fine..." I sighed with a smile. I knew Derek knew I was lying. He didn't push though. I nodded to him and took off to my next destination. I just really didn't want to be alone right now, for some reason I wasn't handling Dean leaving all that great.
I knocked on Spencer's door hoping he would talk to me. I could hear him talking to himself as he reached the door. He must have been reading. I smiled once he answered the door. "Clara?" He asked not really happy to see me.
"Hi Spence." I smiled and tilted my head.
"What are you doing here?" He asked like he wanted to close the door on my face.
"I totally understand if you want me to leave but..uh..." I sighed my own emotions betraying me. My eyes started to burn and I looked down quickly so Spencer wouldn't see.
"Clara?" He questioned a bit more concerned.
"I know you're mad at me..." I sighed looking up. "I'm kinda mad at me too." I sighed one tear rolling down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.
Spencer looked at me oddly. He stepped to the side and let me in. I walked in slowly and noticed all the books scattered on the floor. It brought a quick smile to my face. My eyes still watery I looked around and read some of the book titles.
"Clara... what's wrong?" He asked walking over quickly taking my hand and forcing me to sit on the couch next to him.
"Nothing." I lied with a fake smile.
Spencer sat back and shook his head at me. "I have an IQ of 187, an Eidetic memory, and just so happen to be a profiler for the freaking FBI." Reid said sitting forward again. "and I can honestly say in all the what two and a half years I've known you... I've never seen you shed a tear." He said. "So you can either tell me whats wrong and stop pretending or get out because I am in no mood for lies." He said. I've never known Reid to be so forward and angry.
I couldn't help but smile at him. "I've had a strange life but I was never really alone... until now." I shrugged not knowing how else to describe it.
"You're not alone." Spencer shook his head. "I thought you and that Dean guy were like... involved." He said a bit confused at his own words. I said nothing and just looked down at the ground. "Oh..." His voice dropped and he sighed. "I don't know much about failed relationships but I do know the one who gets left usually does better the one who did the leaving." Spencer said trying to make me feel better.
I smiled up at him and sighed. "You always do know how to make a girl feel better eh." I laughed and he sighed.
"Why did you come here?" He asked. "Wouldn't Penelope be a better person to talk to?"
"She was sleeping." I smiled.
"Ah so second choice." Spencer smiled.
"I needed to come here anyways... I have to apologize." We both sighed and he looked down. "I should have been there when you called, I should have dropped everything and helped. I am so sorry that I didn't."
"It's fine. Hotch said you were busy... I understand."
"I still should have come. You wanna tell me what happened?" I asked.
"You wanna tell me where you disappear to?" he asked it fell quiet.
"Trust me Spence... You don't want to know."