Chapter Seven – Day Six Afternoon
I flick through the television programs with the remote but there is nothing on worth watching, so I turn it off and pick up my book. After a while I realise that I have not read a word, even though my eyes have been faithfully scanning each one.
Sighing, I get up to look through the videos but most of them are Wheeler's and I have either seen them before or just do not feel like watching them, so I go back to flicking the remote.
I have been doing this for a couple of hours now, ever since Wheeler threw me out of my bedroom for offering too many suggestions on how to fix my door.
I smile at the memory. Why must men always do things their own way, even if it is the most difficult and time consuming way? My brother is the same and so is Boris... so was Boris. I have not got used to that yet.
"Miss me Babe?" The Yankee's voice interrupts my reverie and I tilt my head back over the settee to look at him.
I am smiling, I cannot help it and seeing my reaction to him, makes him grin back at me. "Wanna see how badly I screwed up your door?"
"I have been dreading it for the last few hours!" I tease and he responds with mock hurt. "You have no faith in me?!"
Actually if I had not had faith in him I would never have let him try. I do not expect perfection though, and I promise myself that I will try not to laugh if it is really bad because he meant well, and I do not want to hurt his feelings.
We get to my cabin and I immediately step forward to inspect the door. It opens and closes smoothly, I try it several times and there is no scraping, or any unhealthy noises. It cannot be that good! I look closely, trying to find something I can tease him about but there is nothing. Considering Gaia put everything together with magic the first time, it is quite an achievement.
"Well?" He asks.
"I am impressed!" I say honestly and I wonder if he has done this before. He has certainly put a lot of effort into it and I appreciate it… but I am still going to tease him. "You do good work Yankee. My suggestions must have helped!"
He is pleased by my reaction even if he is trying to hide it. "Yeah, whatever! You just keep telling yourself that!"
"Thank you," I tell him and am going to embrace him but he stops me.
"I don't think that's such a good idea Babe. I worked up a pretty good sweat and am dirty and gross. I'll take a rain check on that hug though…after I shower?" He asks hopefully.
I shrug like it is no big deal but I am kind of hoping he will remember. "Ok."
He winks at me and walks out, closing the door behind him. I sigh, but before I have a chance to get bored again the door opens and Wheeler makes a show of admiring it. Then he gives me a thumbs up making me chuckle, he is really pleased with himself but not in a smug, obnoxious way. In fact, I think he is doing it to amuse me and will do it all the more if it works. He is like a child who has been given praise… nyet, like a puppy, I can practically see his tail wagging. I shake my head but he beams at me and I cannot help returning the smile.
"Meet me in my room in fifteen minutes, ok?" He asks.
I nod, finding to my surprise that there is nothing I would rather be doing right now, than spending time with him. "Sure."
Fifteen minutes does not sound like a long time but when you have nothing to do but admire a door, it can drag. I give up and head over to the Yankee's room early, I do not think he will mind but I can always pretend my clock is fast.
I open the door without looking in, in case he is getting dressed, giving him a chance to call out, but there is no sound. Wheeler's room is a mess, I did not notice it earlier but there are clothes on the floor and paper and magazines over the desk. I wonder how he ever finds anything and I have the urge to tidy but I am not sure that he would appreciate it.
There is a photo album on the bed. I pick it up, taking its place, and begin to flick through it.
"You're early." Wheeler's voice says and I turn my head towards the bathroom where he is standing in the doorway.
"Oh, sorry," I apologise, hoping he really does not mind my being in here.
"You're lucky I got dressed in there and didn't just come walking in here completely naked!" He is teasing me, so he does not mind.
Two can play at that game though. "Or unlucky," I say, putting as much meaning into it as I can, but laughing so that he knows it is a joke… mostly.
I look down at the photo album and realise what this must look like, we are not in the habit of making ourselves at home in each others cabins, maybe he just does not like to say anything in case I push him away again… "I am sorry, I do not mean to be nosey, I came in here like you wanted and saw this sitting here." I feel awkward again so I try making a joke. "I figured it would be safer looking through this than looking through your magazine collection."
He blushes slightly so I guess there are a few there he would rather I did not see, though the ones on top had pictures of cars on them.
"No need to apologize." He says sitting down next to me, and turning his attention to the photo album. "I pulled it out because I wanted to show it to you…sort of introduce you to my family. That way, if I ever get to talkin' about them again, you can put a face to the name…or not. If you don't care…"
"Of course I care." I assure him, I love looking through old photo's … I would like to hear more about his family too.
"It's kinda a stupid idea. I mean, it's not like you need to know…" He is talking himself out of it, like he suddenly thinks he is not important enough… that is a stupid thing for me to think, Wheeler is not insecure.
Still… maybe he just needs to know that I want to know, I act like I do not care sometimes, I do not mean to though. "I want to know."
He tells me about the pictures, adding stories of each person and I find it fascinating, this little window of his life.
"I have lost both my parents, my grandmother brought me up." I tell him after a while. "You are lucky."
"It didn't always feel lucky." He shrugs and I remember him saying something about his father drinking a lot, I want to ask, but I do not want to make him feel worse.
I rest my head on his shoulder and lean against him, rubbing the adjoining arm comfortingly. "It must have been tough for you though, being alone?" He asks, catching my hand as it moves along his arm and holding it there.
"I do not even remember my mother now, I was too young… just a vague feeling of being loved by someone warm and caring. Sometimes I wonder if my father went away then too, he always kept his feelings to himself, though I know he loved me, and da, it was hard when I lost him. But Grandmuska had always been there for us and Uncle Dimitri would come by to cheer us up." I shrug, forcing back the tears that are trying to rise to the surface.
Turning the page of the album in an attempt to distract myself, I suddenly get a huge grin on my face and look up at my Yankee with glee. "Oh Wheeler! You were so cute…! What happened?!"
He sticks his tongue out at me and bumps his shoulder against mine. I chuckle and turn the page again.
"That's James holding me when I was a baby. He was five…and here's me when I'm five, holding my cousin Joey after he was born," He points them out in turn.
"I can see the resemblance, except for the red hair; you look just like he did at that age." I reply. They really are a handsome family.
The last few pictures are family shots taken at Christmas. We never did that, Christmas for me is more a time of tradition and remembering those we miss. Things were always more jovial when Uncle Dimitri's family came to us but I am not sure that we ever really celebrated being together that way.
The last picture is of James and his family and for a moment I think I would like to be part of a shot like that, then I see the prayer card on the opposite page. How can someone who has so much, throw it all away?
I brush my fingers over the picture as if I can somehow make it more real, then I close the album and wipe away a stray tear. "Thank you for sharing this with me."
"Sure. Thanks for letting me share it. I'm sorry if it upset you though." He looks guilty.
I could shake him! "What did I tell you about apologising?!"
"Right. I keep forgetting." He looks at me though and I cannot explain… he just makes me feel like it is right for us to be together like this, like it is natural for us to confide in each other.
"Oh, speaking of sharing. I picked these out for you. These oughta keep you warm." He produces a stack of hoodies, bozhe'moy, how many does he have? I do not need that many… but he can always come and get one if he wants one and I am pretty sure I could wear a couple of them together.
"Are you sure?" I ask
"Yep. I'm not using them at the moment." I guess it is okay then, and he seems pleased. I take them back to my room and leave them on the bed.
When I return he stands up and holds out his hand. "Wanna go for a walk?"
"After you give me that hug that you promised." I do not know why I said that, it just came out. I wonder if it is possible to get addicted to physical contact… or another person?
He holds his arms out and I step into them, relishing the chance to do this without anything being wrong, but after a few moments he presses a kiss to the top of my head and pulls back to look down at me. "Come on, I wanna show you something."
I step away and put my hand into his outstretched one, walking beside him in companionable silence as he leads me down to the beach.
To Be Continued…
And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Wheeler's side of the story in Chapter 7 of Becks7's Co-Dependents!