Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to BBC

Chapter 5

"Gwen, I'm pregnant." Morgana said, and her expression was a mix of happiness and insecurity.

"My lady!" Her best friend exclaimed, bringing her both hands to cover her mouth, in shock. Shortly, she added: "How? Who? When?"

"What they weren't telling us about that night." The young seer replied, hesitantly. Her maid understood, so finally the mystery was solved, but she didn't like to discover the truth.

"Then … who is the father, Morgana?"

"Merlin." She whispered his name and smiled as she once again thought that she had a deeper connection with the only man that was truly able to take hold of her heart.

"Now it makes sense." Guinevere stated, continuing: "That's why you were prohibited to be in the same place at the same time." The future queen of Camelot approached her mistress and friend, also sitting on her bed, while grabbing both her hands.

"How are you feeling about all this, Morgana?"

"I'm confused, Gwen. I'm happy, but at the same time I'm scared. It is as if being pregnant was, at the same time, the best and the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. Do you understand?"

"I'm afraid that I don't, my lady." At those last words, Morgana pouted, giving Gwen a look that meant 'I'm-talking-about-the-probably-most-important-event-of-my-life-and-you're-my-friend-here-not-my-servant', to which Guinevere promptly corrected herself saying "Morgana" and continuing:

"I mean, that's a lot to process. You're unwed, Merlin is a servant–" to that Morgana narrowed her eyes, with a look that meant 'servants-are-people-too-you-should-know-that' but didn't interrupt her friend "so, he'll never be considered as a match, meaning your child will be labelled a bastard, and none of you have thought or actually know if you have feelings for each other."

What her best friend and maid was saying made a lot of sense, her concern had a solid ground. Nonetheless, almost everything was already settled, except for the part of her feelings and Merlin's.

"Uther told me to keep the pregnancy a secret, so I won't be brought to shame, or so he said. Also, he guaranteed that he'll adopt the child, as prince or princess, once it's born." She paused briefly and took a deep breath before proceeding: "The only thing that isn't sure are the feelings. Merlin's and my own." She furrowed her brows.

"Morgana, do you have feelings for Merlin?"

For a brief moment, the young seer felt guilty, her friend had confided her that she had a crush on the manservant, well, at least before Lancelot showed up and Gwen admitted that she was probably attracted to Merlin before, as he was such a nice person, so much different from those arrogant sorts like Arthur, but that had changed and the only thing left was friendship. Noticing that it was probably okay to tell Gwen that, Morgana spoke:

"I … it's strange, Gwen, he's really important to me, really dear, but I don't know why. When I was allowed to be in his presence, I would follow him everywhere with my eyes, every dark haired silhouette that I saw with the corner of my eyes was enough to get my attention, and I always expected to be him. My heart skips a beat when I see him. There is a warm sensation in my chest when I think about him, I … I never felt this way before." Morgana admitted with a dreamy expression.

"Morgana, you love Merlin!" Gwen exclaimed.

"I … that's not it, Gwen. I'm sure that it must be something else."

"No, everything that you have described matches with you being in love with him. You long for Merlin, Morgana, and all this time we have been friends, you never spoke about someone else the way you did when talking about him."

"It cannot be, Gwen." Morgana said, distressed.

"Why, because of Uther?"

"If I get anywhere close to Merlin, he'll lose his head, and not caused by being madly in love with me, you know that!" The young seer reminded her friend, clearly distressed.

"Yes, I know." Guinevere said, conformed. Then added, grinning wickedly: "What about Merlin, does he have any clue about your feelings?"

"Of course not, Gwen!" She exclaimed and turned her face grumbling in a low voice: "Not that I have feelings for him."

"Yes you do! I've know you for more than ten years, Morgana." She told her sternly, trying unsuccessfully to seem as if she was scolding her friend, but immediately giggled and continued: "You can't lie to me. It's just impossible!" and grinned at her friend.

Both of the girls giggled, forgetting for a moment the severity of the situation, more focused in being two lovesick young women talking about love. For those few instants, Morgana also forgot that she had to lie to Gwen about her having magic, just one more of Uther's prohibitions.

When their bliss calmed down and they remembered their reality, lady and servant assumed a somber expression.

"Nothing can come out of this. I can't marry him, I can't be close to him, by the gods, I can't even see him!" Morgana exclaimed, frustrated she threw her hands to the air, in order to ensure that her drama wouldn't go unnoticed, continuing after: "I don't even know if he feels the same." To that, Gwen glanced at her incredulous, with a face that expressed 'you're-THE-lady-Morgana-every-man-in-Camelot-would-die-for-a-chance-to-be-loved-by-you-of-course-Merlin-is-no-exception', but Morgana decided to ignore her and continued: "For once, because I think he has feelings for you!"

"Morgana, that's absurd!" Guinevere promptly said. "I had a crush on him, a long time ago, but he never gave me any sort of hope! You were the one that immediately caught his attention!" Gwen told her, out of breath as she spilled those words without a pause to breathe.

"I don't know, Gwen, I questioned him about his love for you once, he didn't deny it, in fact he seemed relieved that I had noticed it and promised to keep it a secret."

"Maybe, my lady, he has another secret, as he seriously doesn't have feelings for me."

Morgana frowned and inquired:

"How can you be so sure, Gwen?"

"Because I kissed him, after the poison incident, and he didn't go after me, nor has made any move to be in a relationship with me." Her friend stated.

"You kissed him? Why didn't you tell me?" The young seer asked, with wide eyes.

"Well, I was so relieved that he was alive that I didn't think at all, just acted." Gwen admitted. "When he didn't show any interest in me after that, I sort of gave up, then Lancelot showed up and you know the rest." She finished the last sentence blushing. "Also, so many things happened, I just guess I forgot to tell you."

"Gwen!" Morgana squealed in a high pitch.

"I'm sorry, Morgana, it just slipped through my mind."

But that also means Merlin has another secret, huh? Morgana thought.

"Fine, Gwen, I'll let this one slide, but don't expect me to do so in the future." She pretended to be extremely offended while saying the last sentence, but couldn't contain her own laughter and both ended up giggling.

"I'll investigate his feelings, my lady, as an apology, ok?" She said, chuckling in the end.

Morgana was sniggering, but her mood grew somber as her friend mentioned Merlin and emotions in the same sentence.

"Please, Gwen, it's better not to delve on it. While Uther lives, I can't be together with him, and knowing that he feels the same would only be worse. It'd make me angrier towards Uther and it'd make me and Merlin even more miserable. Maybe, if he isn't aware of all those things, he will be spared from the heartache."

"I understand, Morgana. I won't ask him." Gwen answered, sad for her best friend's decision, even though she knew it wasn't incomprehensible.

"Merlin, I want you to sit down." Gaius told his ward.

"Gaius, should I be worried? Don't tell me that you found out and you're going to scold me?"

"Found out what, Merlin?" His guardian asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing." The young warlock said, nonchalantly.

"Meeerlin."

"It's true, Gaius, I'm not lying, not at all."

"We'll talk about this later." Then he added: "Don't you think that you'll scape it, my boy."

"Okay, Gaius …" He pouted and continued: "But your original purpose was to say …" he widened his eyes and gesticulated so that the physician would tell him already.

"Morgana is with child, Merlin."

"I cannot believe it! Gaius, I don't even remember, how could this–"

"Merlin, you know how things work, you've already learned this lesson." Gaius answered impatiently.

"Yes, I know, Gaius." The young warlock rolled his eyes. "What do we do from now on?"

"That's not the only thing, my boy."

"What? There's more?"

"Morgana has manifested active magic. I think the pregnancy has enhanced her powers."

"WHAAAT?"

"You heard me, Merlin." The old physician replied.

"Yes, but I can't believe it!" He said, giggling.

"This is no reason for celebration. Magic is still forbidden in Camelot, the punishment for practicing it is still death." The old man said in a somber tone.

"Yes, but that means she is like me, I'm not alone here!" He was gleaming with joy.

"Shouldn't you be more concerned about Uther's reaction, Merlin?" Gaius said, raising his eyebrow.

"Oh, yes, of course, Uther." The young warlock answered, fumbling with his words.

Still staring at his ward, assessing if he was truly realizing the severity of the situation, Gaius proceeded: "It was a delicate matter to solve, my boy. The king desired your head, but Morgana's magic reacted and Arthur too stood up against his decision, so you were spared."

As he said so, Gaius could notice that his protégé lost the goofy grin on his face and began to show fear.

"The king believes that Morgana having magic is also part of the Sidhe enchantment. For the moment I was able to convince him that he is correct."

"But he isn't. She has magic, she was born with it, like me!" Merlin spoke, with enthusiasm again.

"No, she isn't, my boy." His guardian remembered him, adding: "She isn't as powerful as you and even if she were, you can never have a relationship beyond friendship, even though she is pregnant with your child."

"But that's unfair, Gaius!"

"Yes, my boy, but this is life. Life is unfair." The old man said sternly.

"It doesn't have to be like this. We can find another way."

"Merlin, be realistic! The only other way is for you to elope with Morgana! Would you abandon your destiny like this? Would you let everyone with magic perish because you didn't like what life reserved to you?" Gaius inquired, seriously.

"No, Gaius! I know I can't scape my fate! And I don't want to! It's just that it isn't right for a child to suffer for the situation of her parents! And I'm old enough to take responsibility for my actions, even if I wasn't entirely on control that night! It's the right thing to do, marry the mother of my child!" He said so passionately.

"Merlin, if your social positions were compatible, I'm sure that this was what Uther would demand of you, but that isn't the reality." The old physician spoke as if remembering every hardship he had sustained. "Reality is harsh, the only thing you can do is cope with it."

"But Gaius–"

"Merlin, I know better, trust me." He answered sternly.

"Fine." The young warlock spoke, conformed with his destiny.

"I have not finished yet. The king decided that we must find a cure–"

"He's insane, there's no cure for magic." Merlin chuckled.

"Do not interrupt me while I'm speaking, Merlin."

"Sorry, Gaius. Please, go on."

"As I was saying, he asked to find a cure and also decided to keep the pregnancy a secret. For that, I suggested the use of blood crystals, because like this no one would suspect of her condition as Morgana could freely show herself in public with an unaltered shape."

"How, Gaius? What does these blood crystals do?"

"They change the form of a person to someone else's if it has a drop of blood from the person that its user tries to impersonate. It also can be used for the same person to keep a former frame that no longer exist."

"But isn't it also magic, Gaius? How did Uther agreed? More important, why didn't he send you to the pyre?"

"Because Morgana is very dear to him, my boy. You know that."

"I don't know anything. When she helped Mordred scape, he almost strangled her! Arthur told me!" He exclaimed and before the old man could reply, he added: "Also, he is a hypocrite for doing this! He beheads and burns people for having magic, saying it's evil, and then goes and uses the very same 'sorcery' that he so vehemently condemns when someone he cares is involved."

"Merlin, he is the king. We can't go against him."

"But this isn't fair, Gaius!"

"I've already told you, my boy, life isn't fair." He told him, in a somber tone.

"Fine, Gaius." He unwillingly complied.

"If you allow me to continue, I'll tell you the rest." Gaius raised his eyebrow again and Merlin nodded. Satisfied with his answer, the old man kept speaking: "As I told you, in the meantime Morgana needs to know how to control her magic. There's were you get involved." When Merlin gave him a questioning glance, Gaius added: "Not that you needed, you've already took part in a lot of events, but there's no other way." He paused briefly, making sure his ward was following his line of thoughts, and continued: "You'll acquire more than one blood crystal and shall disguise yourself as me. Then, you shall teach Morgana magic, because I don't have any experience with innate powers while you do." The old man said all so fast that Merlin blinked fast to keep up with his pace.

"So you're saying I can see Morgana?"

"Meeeeerlin." The warning could be understood from the way the old man spoke, but the young warlock still asked innocently:

"What?"

"You know what, my boy. Don't do anything stupid." Gaius replied, raising his eyebrow again.

"I won't, I promise!" He answered and grinned goofily.

"Humph, you better not, if you value your life and other body parts." Gaius said so pointing to Merlin's nether regions. Instinctively, the young man covered those parts with his hands, as if blocking them from view could make them safer.