I awake groggy and with a dreadful headache.
"Ungh..." I start pushing myself up, slumped against the outside of the cave I assume they're telling me to go my own way.
"Woah, woah woah." Emma runs over and grabs my arm causing me to wince, she lowers me back down and they try talking to me.
"How are you feeling?"
"Would you like some food?"
"Are you hungry?"
"I'll get you food."
My vision is fuzzy and my head has to work to identify the voices.
"Give her some space," Emma commands, "you need food, Hook, do you know what's edible?"
"Just imagine what you want, it will appear," the pirate was far away, obviously scared whatever I had is contagious.
Mary Margaret places a bowl of stew in my hands and Emma says, "eat."
"I'm not-"
"Eat."
Something in her voice makes me eat and I have to admit, it's good. It may be the starvation talking but I don't think I've tasted soup this good in a long time.
As I slowly start to feel better, I push myself into a proper sitting position.
"Right, now. What the Hell was that?" Emma's voice cuts through the bliss.
"It's nothing." I lie, "it's unimportant."
"Unimportant? You wouldn't stop screaming and shouting and you would have had an egg on the back of your head if Regina hadn't sorted you out." This wakes me up.
"You got rid of my bruise?"
"Well, yes... I- of course." She seems to sense the anger in my voice, "why? Is that a problem?"
My scars are from my own battle field, they remind me what I've been through to get to where I am today and she just wiped it out.
"No, sorry. Thank you," but I can't look her in the eye.
I reach round to the back of my head, not even blood matted into my hair, this woman is thorough.
"Sorry you had to see that, it's not important and it won't happen again."
"No offence but you don't seem to have much control-"
"Just..." I think, how to promise this without explaining, "if we get off the island I'll be fine, something, some kind of infection. I don't know." I lie through my teeth, hoping their knowledge of this island isn't too extensive.
"Hook?" I guess he knows the island, I hold my breath.
"I've never seen it before, but when I was here I stuck to the Jolly Roger. It could have been something Pan did." But he seems quiet, deep in thought, like a liar.
Emma nods slowly, you can tell she doesn't believe him.
As we walk towards God knows where Hook approaches me, "I've seen that before, in Bedlam. Patients would scream and throw themselves at walls, people, anything over nothing."
I say nothing, he didn't tell them so I can only assume he wants a deal.
"I didn't tell the others but that doesn't mean I won't, one more of those," he gestures vaguely with his hook, "and I'll tell them."
"Why didn't you?"
"It's not my place but if I feel you're putting us or Henry in danger I'll have Regina put another binding spell on you and we'll stow you in the cave until we're done."
"Right." I have to get control, I have to stop freaking out, I am not being restrained again, I am not being locked up again, "did anything happen whilst I was out?"
"Me and David failed at finding the sextant and the ladies caught themselves a lost boy, they sent him to talk to Henry. Regina left while you were out, she's gone to find somebody. She thinks can help."
"And how did they manage that?" Interested to know how one of Pan's sacred lost boys could be persuaded to do something, "your charming powers of persuasion?"
But he doesn't smile and his face darkens, "they ripped out his heart and puppetted him into Pan's camp."
Well... That escalated quickly.
He chuckles lightly, "it's what was needed."
We approach yet another cave and come to a stop, Mary Margaret gulps and say, "so Neal's?"
"In there," Emma nods.
We enter and it's huge, a crate made of vines sits in the middle, containing a man slumped over, "there's no way over? How are we meant to get to-" I'm interrupted by Hook.
"We each have to reveal a secret, something no one else knows." Great. Just great.
"Well, it was nice knowing you gu-" as I go to walk out three swords and a bow and arrow are drawn and aimed directly at me, "as I was saying, who first?"
Everybody confesses their stuff and a small bridge grows until it's me and Emma left.
"Your turn," they turn to me.
"Why me? It's not my..." I pause to think about how many screwed up relationships they have here, "let me guess? Great uncle once removed?" I smile but they all look stern.
"Just do it," and with that a sword is aimed at my oesophagus.
"Right..." A secret.
What secret?
I have lots of secret no one knows.
But the one I don't want anyone to?
As in it would destroy me?
"I haven't been taking my medication." They eye the bridge. Nothing.
"What for?"
"Depression, anxiety, sleep and borderline."
Nothing.
"Why aren't you taking them?"
I think for a moment, "I don't want to end up lobotomised. I don't want to be medicated into numbness my illness does that already, I want to be alert even if it means I spend 90% of my time looking for ways to kill myself I want to be able to fight and protect my friends."
The bridge fills itself in.
"You really want to... die?" David asks, not too sensitively I might add.
"That's unimportant."
They can sense I'm not about to open up and so Emma crosses the bridge to the man and starts attacking it, after a moment she slumps to the floor and starts pouring her heart out. Suddenly the front panel disappears and the man practically falls out and hugs her.