Chapter Sixteen – Day Nine, Early Evening

There is no sign of the others when we exit the geo-cruiser… I guess they are busy.

Wheeler leaves me at my room so that we can both unpack and change, and when I am done I lay back on my bed and try to relax.

I feel really tense, especially in my neck and shoulders, and my headache is returning.

I sit up again so that I can see through the window. I am not looking for anything in particular... just something to take my mind away from myself. Besides Wheeler has not been gone that long, so looking for him would not be sensible.

My heart gives an involuntary leap as he finally comes into view... I tell myself it is just because I have been feeling lonely but it unsettles me a little. I am not used to relying on someone else's presence for my happiness, or for anything.

"Come in Wheeler." I call out as he knocks, and smile at him as he enters.

"Wow, how'd you know it was me? Did your 'handsome guy radar' start going off?" he jokes.

"Nyet." I tell him "By now, I know your knock… and I looked out the window and saw you coming."

He gives me a forlorn. "Oh."

And I relent. "AND my 'handsome guy radar' started going off."

The Yankee smiles and then surprises me by producing my favourite chocolate treat from behind his back... and it has a candle on it. He remembered?

"Happy Birthday Babe."

He remembered! "I do not believe you remembered!"

"Why wouldn't I? Any excuse to have a party right?" he jokes. I have learnt that that is how he protects himself, though then he surprises me by adding, "and I always remember important things. I didn't want to bring it up at an inappropriate time…but now that we're home…maybe we can pretend that this day has started all over."

I am amazed at how thoughtful he is being, it is exactly what I needed. "I like that idea." I tell him.

My heart is doing strange things now... who would ever have thought that the immature, ignorant young boy I met such a short time ago could turn out to be so thoughtful, or that he could become so important to me?

He uses his ring to light the candle and I stop myself from making a comment. He is being so sweet, doing all of this for me but he uses his ring like it is an everyday tool... the rest of us are far more respectful.

He is carrying his guitar on his back and now uses it to sing happy birthday. If he had done that in public I would have died of embarrassment, but I am so caught up our private party that I just grin at him.

"Now blow out the candle and make a wish." He tells me.

I close my eyes, trying to decide what to wish for, his efforts deserve that I take it seriously after all. My first thought is to wish that I could spend all of my birthdays like this, just Wheeler and I... I picture us sitting here on my bed, him holding his guitar and me looking like a delighted school girl, with a mini birthday cake between us.

It would make a pretty cute photo I think, but that reminds me of another photograph and suddenly I know exactly what I am going to wish for.

Wishes do not have to be practical do they? That is why they are wishes!

I wish to be part of one of Wheeler's Christmas family photo's. Like the one of James and his family at the back of Wheeler's album... Just like that, only with a happy ever after attached to it.

I seal the wish by blowing out the candle on my cake.

"So, what'd you wish for?" He asks when I open my eyes and my heart thuds in my chest.

In the back of my mind I am already telling myself that it was just the photograph I wished for, to be part of that just once... Whatever the truth I cannot tell him!

I shake my head. "I cannot tell you, otherwise it will not come true."

"Yeah, but if you tell me, I can do my best to MAKE IT come true." He offers and I wonder what he thinks I wished for.

He actually could make it come true for me, but if I tell him it will not be real. I would always wonder whether he did it out of pity, or his guilt over James... assuming he was not just hideously embarrassed and horrified at the thought.

I smile at him but I will not answer, it will not hurt for him to keep guessing.

He takes the candle out of the cupcake and gives it to me. It has cream on it so I run my finger over it and then lick the cream from there. It tastes delicious but I feel my empty stomach start to grumble as it detects the prospect of being fed. At the same time, I can feel the familiar queasy feeling starting at the edge of my awareness at the taste of the rich, sugary food.

"Thank you." I say as I take the cake Wheeler is holding out.

"You're welcome," He tells me, starting on the twin of my cupcake. "You still love these things right?"

I really do want it but I am still hesitating. "Da. I am just not sure if I can keep it down. I am feeling sicker than usual today."

"That's understandable. You don't have to eat it if you don't want to." He is being very understanding, I do not want him to get the wrong idea.

"Oh, I want to!" I assure him, looking at the chocolate delight in my hand. My favourite... he noticed and remembered. Even my brother would not have done that... Boris might have once, I think sadly.

This is different though, special. Wheeler is not family, he does not have to do anything for me and he has done more than anyone.

I take a bite of my cake and grin as the delicious flavours mingle on my tongue.

I guess it is okay to trust, and rely on someone after all! I just wish I knew how he really feels about me...

"I got you a present too," He says suddenly and pulls a small box out of his pocket.

Tears prickle my eyes but I manage to stop them brimming up. "You did not have to get me anything." I tell him sincerely. "You have done enough for me these last few days. Your kindness is more than enough."

"Yeah, but you can't unwrap kindness, unless you wanna take off my clothes! Then in that case…" He starts to joke and then changes track. "Uhh, just kidding. I didn't mean to…uh…here,"

I take the box he is giving me, rolling my eyes and sighing. Kwame has a lot to answer for, I wish I could make Wheeler see that it is okay to joke, for one thing it is normal for him and I need normality, for another… I might just want to take him up on it sometime.

Almost absent-mindedly, I open the box but what is inside gets my complete attention.

I take out the delicate bracelet and examine the small charms that are attached to it, a bird and a musical note, perfect! "Oh Wheeler…it is beautiful!"

"Yeah, that's what made it remind me of you," he tells me, and I can feel my heart respond. "I know it's not something that you can wear all the time, especially during a mission, but I still thought it'd be nice to have."

"I have never had one before." I tell him truthfully, though my grandmother has one and I have always admired it. "And since I will not be going on any missions any time soon if our team mates have their way, I can wear it all the time. Will you put it on for me?" I add, holding out my wrist.

"Sure. Are you sure you like it? I know it's not practical, given our line of work, but…" His insecurity is peaking through again, it is endearing but at the same time, I never want him to feel bad because of me, he does not deserve that.

"Da, I love it." I say enthusiastically, marvelling once again at how gentle he can be as he secures the chain around my wrist.

"Good. I already got you started with a few charms of things that I know you like, I figured the more we get to know each other over the years, I can buy you a new one for every birthday or Christmas. It kinda sucks because you'll always know that you're getting a charm, you just won't know what it will be."

I do not mind knowing at all, how could anyone not like something that represents a friendship in such a way? "That is a sweet idea. You thought of that yourself?" I only hope I can think of something as meaningful for his birthday when it comes around.

"Yeah! I'm not a total caveman!" He exclaims in response, curtailing my wandering thought process.

I try to undo the damage before it develops into an argument. "I did not mean it like that! I meant, you took the time to really put some thought into the gift, and that in itself is a great present. Thank you again."

I cannot help gazing at my new bracelet, I really do love it and I hope he can see that. I look back up into his eyes and then lean forward and hug him, no doubts today Yankee I say silently, you have kept me sane through the worst day of my life and then managed to transform it, or part of it, into one of the most special.

"You're welcome… and Happy Birthday Babe." He hugs me back. Neither of us seems to be in a rush to end this.

"It will be one that I always remember, that is for sure. At least now, thanks to you, I have some good memories to add to the date." I tell him.

"Good. Glad I could help," He pulls away and says. "Now, put on your suit and meet me at the beach."

I try not to frown, I do not want to spoil things by disappointing him but… "I do not feel like swimming… especially if the others are going to be there, and I have a slight headache."

"I can take care of that headache," he says confidently, "the others won't be there, and I didn't say anything about swimming."

I am confused. "Then why would I need…"

"It's a surprise." He is trying to be mysterious but although I am still in a good mood, I do not really have the energy.

"Ok…but do I really need a swimming suit? It is too cold to go into the water." In fact it is too cold to walk around without several layers on.

"Not where we are going!" He says looking smug.

Just tell me Yankee!

He must see my response in my face because he says. "Will you just stop asking questions and trust me?"

"Not with a sly smile like that! I know that look Yankee… you are up to no good!" It is the look he gets when he is playing a practical joke on someone. We do not really mind though, his jokes are never malicious and never cause any harm, he does not think that way. If I am honest, the air of mischief is also rather attractive.

"Don't say that until you see what I have planned…'no good' just might be the best thing you've ever experienced."

I lift an eyebrow, my imagination is working overtime, but then, he is still stuck in his boy scout routine.

"Just hurry! The more questions you ask, the longer it's gonna take you to find out!" He winks at me, which goes right along with that quirky smile, and pats my shoulder, which does not.

A pat on the shoulder? My Grandmother might have done that once… I have no idea what to make of him sometimes.

Once he has gone I change my clothes, still trying to fathom his behaviour… was it part of his 'I am just trying to be your friend' thing?, or does he really just want to only be my friend now? I cannot blame him if that is what it is… the Bliss has really messed me up.

I look in the mirror, it is horrible, a skeleton with flesh stares back. Even in a one piece I do not look good, it is loose on me and if I pull it tight, I can see bones.

Carefully putting my new bracelet back in its box, I store it in my bedside cabinet, I do not want to risk losing it if we do go swimming. I pick up a towel and head down to the beach, shivering as the breeze rolls in from the sea.

To Be Continued…

And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Wheeler's side of the story in Chapter 16 of Becks7's Co-Dependents