A/N So I haven't done a good job about connecting my readers with getting to know myself. I do love the Divergent Series. I still haven't seen Insurgent yet but I have read all the books. I did fall in love with Tris as a strong character. With that said I wanted to be brave and on Valentine's Day this year I got the three ravens tattooed on my collar bone. I am Dauntless too after all! I took the Aptitude test and I'm Divergent Amity and Dauntless. Kind and Brave!
So there you go. PLEASE REVIEW!
I woke up feeling nauseous and install shut myself into the bathroom. I had a sweaty palms and Goosebumps crawling up my arms. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I emptied my stomach into the towel bowl. This by far is the worst feeling I have ever experience in my life. After several flushes of the towel, I went to the sink and pulled out my toothpaste and brush. I then gargled with mouth wash so I could mask the foul breath that was present.
I unlocked the door and slowly dredged across the room to go back to bed. It was still early in the morning, dawn not even showing in the horizon. I looked over my shoulder to where Eric lay asleep peaceful. At least I didn't wake him. Being very quiet I slipped on my night robe and headed into the living room.
I saw that I left my sketchbook on the end table. Once I reached a blank page I let my hand wonder throughout the page without a real direction of what I was drawing. It was only about an hour later that I truly took a look at what I had created. Staring back at me was a portrait of a newborn child, eyes sparkling as was the toothless grin. On top of the child's head was a few wispy curls. This is how I wanted my child to grow up, in a loving environment encouraged to grow and learn.
A silent tear slid down my cheek. I wasn't even aware of how emotional I had become. I heard the bedroom door open and I quickly tried my best to compose myself. I wasn't ready to talk about these thoughts I was having with him, not yet anyways. That's what I kept telling myself after all.
"Hey Honey, why are you awake?" Eric's voice was genuinely of true concern. There wasn't any hidden façade when we were together. He was letting his guard down just for me.
"Oh you know, the joys of morning sickness, making its first appearance." I half smiled looking up to him, to give him the reassurance that I was alright.
"Next time please at least wake me? I know I'm not doing all the work, but I at least want to make you comfortable. I am just as much as involved in this as you are, just realize that please?"
All I could do in that to respond was lean into him and place my head on his chest. He placed his arms around me and we stayed that way until my stomach rumbled with hunger. This caused both of us to actually laugh.
"How about I make us breakfast, then we can go down to the infirmary for our doctor's appointment."
I just gave him a nod as I wasn't actually looking forward to this particular doctor's appointment. Erudite wanted to be present when I became pregnant. Seeing my brother's face again under these circumstances was not favorable. Having Dr. Pedrad being my primary physician was one thing, but having Erudite there was another story. It made this whole pregnancy seem wrong to me; creating a human being for perfect genes.
Soon the smell of bacon and eggs wafted through our apartment. I got up from my place at the couch and walked over to the kitchen island to see that Eric was just finishing plating our meal. I met his eyes and gave him a smile to show my appreciation.
"Eric, where did you learn to cook so deliciously?" The eggs melted in my mouth and the bacon was just at the right saltiness to compliment the meal perfectly.
"I happen to come across a few cook books before my time here at Dauntless." He gave me that devilish smirk of his. You could tell that he was trying to let his pride show through.
"Well if you can make breakfast taste this heavenly, sign me up for any meal you make next time."
Don't ask me why I stood up and kissed him. I couldn't tell you what my motives were to be honest; it just left like the right gesture to do.
Page Break.
Once we arrive at the nurses' station we are escorted to a private exam room. The atmosphere smells sterile here, like bleach trying to mask something else. I take my place sitting on the exam table. Eric is by my side rubbing small circles on my lower back. I allow myself to wallow in the pleasure that it gives me.
After about five minutes two noses enter into the room, both wearing blue lab coats. Dr. Pedrad comes in shortly after them and I am so thankful for that she is here. My check up starts with the usual vital checks of blood pressure and listening to my lungs. We find ourselves in an uncomfortable silence as they continue to write in my patient file. It feels like Erudite has some hidden ulterior motive to what they originally told me. This feeling in the pit of my stomach has me on pins and needles.
'I will protect you with my life' I say in my mind to child growing inside of me. 'I love you too much.' With that promise in mind I will set a goal to be the best mother that I can be.
I am brought back out of my trace when they take my blood. Then they ask me for another pee test. After that is all done the next part took my breath away. We actually got to hear that baby's heartbeat. It beat fast and I knew that this child of mine would be a fighter, stubborn even like myself, maybe.
The two noses, whose names I really didn't want to learn are done completing their tests. They believe this experiment will create the perfect dauntless soldier someday.
"Tris I need to know when your last period was, so we can determine your due date." says Dr. Pedrad.
"I think it started around July 11th give or take a few days."
"Exact date doesn't have to be always accurate. In a few weeks will we give you an ultra sound and we will then take measurements of the fetus to see approximate gestational age. However, if my calculations are correct, I predict that your due date is April 20th." She gives me a warm smile.
Eric bends down to kisses my forehead, while smiling from ear to ear. I meet his eyes and I see happiness in them for the first time.
"I do want to remind you that your body is drastically changing. You might experience ricocheting emotions, which is caused by your fluctuating hormones. Your baby has developed the nose, mouth and ears at this point in your pregnancy. Talking to the child now will help build your bond. Do either of you have any questions for me?"
Eric speaks up before I can, "When is our next follow up appointment?"
"I'd like to reexamine Tris in four weeks. We will have a steady monthly appointment until the third trimester, and then we will go every two weeks. If any complications should arise then we will evaluate length between appointments at that time."
"Thank you Dr. Pedrad for everything, are we done?" I ask.
"Yes Tris we are and thank you for being patient. I know how hard it can be to keep from lashing out at them." With that she gives me a wink and leaves the room.
(AN Sorry about the short Doctors visit. I'll make it up to you guys later! I was basing this appointment off my own when I first learned I was pregnant and those doctors rush those appointments!)
Page Break
Eric and I walk hand in hand out of the Infirmary towards the Pire. I know it still is a strange image to see. When we see the odd glances I know they are trying to decide if 'this thing between Eric and I' is real or not. I just raise my head a little higher and walk with a purpose. I know I need to give the rest of dauntless an impression that isn't 'oh look at me I'm just the pregnant one' I need to be more then that. With that determination set in my mind I knew I needed to succeed far beyond their expectations.
Eric unlocks his office door and he lets me go in first. I take my place at the end of his desk and he sits at the center. He quickly gets started with his work on the computer while I have the task of going through active members files.
I quickly become consumed in my task at hand that time literally has slipped away. I'm only brought out of my bubble when Eric starts to massage my shoulders. I take advantage of the feeling and close my eyes. My once tense shoulders start to relax and I let a sigh slip past my lips barely audible.
"You are rubbing my shoulders and it feels amazing right now." I say still with shut eyes.
"Anything for you." He said so quietly, I think it was more for him than for me.
"Let's go to the cafeteria tonight for dinner." I said this trying to lighten the mood up.
"That actually sounds wonderful. How are you doing with the pregnancy so far?"
"This is all so new; I don't know what I should think and feel right now. I love peanut-"
Before I could continue he cut me off. "Peanut?!"
"Well yeah that's what I think of right now. This little human being is the size of a peanut."
He just shakes his head and takes my hand and leads the way to dinner. We sit at the leaders table once again however soon my friends have surrounded us. Small talk is conversed back and forth to the table. I elbow Christina to get her attention before I whisper in her ear.
"I'm pregnant." That's all I needed to say because she knows the news was bound to happen.
She turns and gives me a great big hug that I gladly return it. Uriah sees the interaction between us and gives me a look asking what that was all about.
"Well UNCLE Uriah…" is all I get out before he climbs over the table giving me a bear hug.
"I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST UNCLE EVER!" He screams out to the cafeteria. His excitement gets the attention of the surrounding tables.
Eric stands up, "Yes Tris and I are expecting." To my surprise whoops and hollers of congratulations comes from all directions around us. After what seems like a life time of noise, everyone slowly returns to their own tables.
"My due date is April 20th." I say to our table, not saying it to anyone in particular. Once again we are bombarded with various questions.
"Do you want a boy or girl?" To my surprise it was Marlene who asked me.
"I hope that it will be a girl." It was a truthful answer.
Christina then turns to me, "Are you going to find out the gender? When can you find out?"
"To answer your question yes we do want to know the gender. At twenty weeks is when I read that they should be able to determine the gender of the baby."
Our conversation goes on for another hour while the cafeteria slowly becomes empty. I yawned, feeling the fatigue start to take over my body. Eric was the one who told our group of friends that we actually needed to get back to our apartment. We said our good nights to everyone and left.
Once we make it into our apartment, I head straight to bed. I didn't even bother with changing feeling so exhausted. Eric came into the room shortly after I was already under the covers.
"Not changing into night clothes?"
"I am way too tired to even change at this point."
"Can I at least make you comfortable?"
All I could do was nod. He came over to my side of the bed and pulled back the covers. He placed his hands on my waist near the hem of my pants. Looking up me waited to get approval before he went on. Once again I nodded not caring that he would see me half naked. He unbuttoned my jeans and took off my socks. Then he went over to his dresser and pulled out a black tee shirt. "Are you able to change your shirt on your own?" He was taking in my modesty into consideration.
"Yes I can do that." After I said that he walked into the bathroom to give me privacy.
I heard the bathroom toilet flush and the sink turn on and off. The door opens and I was already changed lying back in bed. He comes around to his side of the bed and climbs in.
"Good night Tris," he pauses and reaches over to place his hand on my stomach. "Good night little one."
"Good night" is all I'm able to say before my vision goes dark.
Sweet love, trapped in your love. I've opened up, I'm sure I can trust.
My heart and I were buried in dust.
Free me, free us.
You're all I need when I'm holding you tight, if you walk away I will suffer tonight.
I found a man I can trust.
And boy, I believe in us. I am terrified to love for the first time.
Can you see that I'm bound in chains?
I've finally found my way.
And I am bound to you.
So much, so young I've faced on my own.
Walls I built up became my home.
I'm strong and I'm sure there's a fire in us.
Sweet love and so pure.
I catch my breath with just one beating heart.
And I brace myself, please don't tear this apart.
Suddenly the moment's here.
I embrace all my fears, all that I have been carrying all these years.
Do I risk it all?
Come this far just to fall?
I've entrusted you boy, I believe in love, I'm bound to you.
I am pulled from my sleep educed trance by being shaken awake. I am covered in sweat, my hair sticking to my forehead and the sides of my neck. 'What the hell was that dream about? Why was I singing to myself?' I wasn't sure if I should give into my subconscious and face my fear. Or if I should guard myself, protect my heart at all costs. I look around the room and the lamp on Eric's nightstand is on.
"Are you alright Tris?"
I looked into those eyes that I have memorized all too well; I could see uncertainty in them. Unsure even what to make of my dream I said, "Yes, I am okay, it was just a dream."
He raised his eye brow at me, "You can tell me anything, and don't shut me out." His tone was a bit harsh towards the end; trying to make his point across to me clear.
"I know and I am sorry. I just don't know what to make of that dream. It wasn't a nightmare or anything of that nature. I am still trying to process my own feelings." I left out the part that the dream was focused on him. Do I love him? Would loving him have a power over me that I wasn't ready to give him? Would loving him be a mistake? For God's sake I hope not.
AN – I really want your interpretation of her dream in the form of your review please. I want to see if it comes across how I wrote it. If you can guess the song I will give you a shout out for next chapter!
Thank you!
MrsBishop21