Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, it belongs to BBC.
Chapter 10
"So, what's your conclusion, Gaius?" The king asked with a serious tone of voice.
"I'm afraid that an abortion is out of question, sire." The old man answered.
"But you said that there was hope!" the king said exalted.
"Yes, I might have used that word when we first discovered her pregnancy. Nevertheless, the medical lore states that unborn children with magic protect themselves and their mother's body in such a manner that is impossible to kill the child without causing the mother's death too." Gaius told him, raising his eyebrow.
"So, she'll have to give birth to the bastard?" Uther inquired.
"I'm afraid it is so, sire." The old man replied.
"Leave me alone, Gaius." The king said, disheartened.
"As you command, my king." The old man bowed and left the king's study.
Uther awaited until the physician was no longer inside the room and angrily pushed whatever was on top of his desk to the ground, shattering many fragile objects and spilling ink on the ground and on papers.
The king wheezed in anger, lifting his both hands to his hair, grabbing the strands and helping himself getting balder.
"No, no, no, no! Damned fairy!" He yelled.
Meanwhile Uther was losing more of his already scarce hair, Merlin was having a heartwarming, not in his opinion though, chat with the Great Dragon:
"She is dangerous, Merlin, you can't trust her!" The overly grown lizard said.
"No, I know her, she has a good heart and she swore secrecy!" The young warlock answered.
The Dragon snorted, showing the boy a devilish toothy grin and said:
"Fate dictates that she'll be your foe, young warlock. And I'm afraid that your hatchlings will cause her undoing."
"No, that's not true! I don't believe in you!" Merlin protested.
"Heed my words, Merlin! Fate doesn't change!" And Kilgharrah flew away, irritated with the young man for doubting him.
"Kilgharrah, wait! What do you mean by that?" In vain, the raven-haired boy called the dragon.
Merlin was confused and extremely upset with the dragon's words. Morgana would never harm Arthur or Camelot, he knew it, deep inside his heart. Whatever had Kilgharrah meant he was wrong, that was what the young warlock chose to believe in.
So, the prince's manservant left Camelot's underground and got back to work, as he was summoned by the dragon at a completely unusual time, during the middle of the afternoon.
Surely, Arthur would complain and give him tons of chores to compensate his absence. The only thing that made that prospect less, well, annoying was that he'd teach Morgana how to control her magic in the evening.
Lately, the mere thought of her ladyship brought an indescribable happiness to him and he had to fight the urge to simply abandon whatever he was supposed to do and just find her to admire the lady. His adoration was so severe that he didn't even need – not that he would ever be against it – to touch her, the mere sight of Morgana was enough to not only tranquilize him, it didn't matter if the world was ending or Arthur was at his highest in the prat's scale (which was somehow similar to the world's end), but also to plaster an undying smile on his face to the rest of the day.
He didn't know exactly when she began to mean so much to him, as he only was truly aware that he was in love with her yesterday. Well, certainly during the time they were forbidden to see – wait a minute, they are still prohibited to be at the same place at the same time – one another, he observed that some part of him would always expect to see her at a corner of the castle, or merely have a glimpse of her silhouette, as if he longed to find her, even though it wasn't likely.
And there was more, the notion that she carried his child always made him feel proud of himself, as if that was the biggest achievement of his life so far – in a way it was –, but not exactly because they were 'intimate', more so because they had a deeper connection, as if all their similarities weren't enough for him to feel attracted to her.
For Merlin, she was everything that he dreamed, maybe more, and having her attention – like she truly looking at him, a big-eared, clumsy, graceless country boy and wanting his company – was something he couldn't imagine in his wildest fantasies. And yet, the way she had gazed at him, as if he was desirable (was that the correct word to describe her eyes when he was on top of her?), awakened a longing in him that he didn't know he could feel.
Only when he tripped on a statue, on his way to Arthur's chambers, Merlin was taken from his daydream about the beautiful Lady Morgana.
"So, today we will finally begin our 'herbalism' lessons." Merlin grinned at Morgana, already destituted of the blood crystal.
"Fine, as long as you stop using euphemisms to what we truly do here." She giggled at him when she finished speaking.
"To do that, I'll have to enchant your bedchambers." He pointed out and then bowed to her and said: "With your permission, my lady."
"Ok." She chuckled at him and said: "You may perform your 'herbalism'" She joined his make-believe game.
Merlin chanted a spell to avoid noise from coming out of the room, as well as magically locked her door. Those measures gave them more privacy, but also made the warlock's heart beat faster due to his own awareness of their absolute seclusion from Uther and head chopper's blocks.
Then, he noticed that she followed his every move while he was putting spells on, and he also perceived the look of admiration that her attractive face expressed when he performed magic. For him, knowing that someone admired him so openly was invigorating and certainly boosted his self-confidence. In short, Morgana was at the same time someone that inspired him and that presented him with esteem, something that he missed when he was talking to Arthur. Then he pointed at the chairs and they both took a seat and settled.
"Will you teach me how to do that?" She asked him with hopeful eyes.
"Yes, right after you have learned some control over your magic." He replied.
"Humrum." She answered and was thoughtful for a moment before she inquired:
"Will you also teach me how to speak in another person's mind?" Her eyes glimmered while she talked about magic which only enhanced her beauty, something that he thought that was impossible, Morgana becoming even more stunning, nevertheless he was proved wrong.
"Yes, I will." He paused briefly to gaze at her, before saying: "Which one do you want to learn at first?"
"Hum … I think the mental talking!" She said enthusiastically and he couldn't help but smile at her reaction.
"Fine, close your eyes and try to concentrate." He told her.
"I'm concentrating." She said.
"Now imagine that there aren't limits to your own mind, that you can reach and hear more than what your ears allow you to." He explained and she nodded with her eyes closed, and he thought that she was beautiful while doing that, in truth while doing pretty much everything.
"Did you do that?" He asked.
"Sort of, I guess." She told him.
"Ok, concentrate again and try to use your magic along with your mind to project something to me." He said.
For a moment nothing happened and Morgana filled her cheeks with air. Merlin thought that she was adorable trying so hard to do it right at her first try.
"Expand your mind, focus on projecting your thought." He instructed.
Suddenly, he heard a yell directly in his mind: "MEEEERRRLIN"
It was so strong that he fell off the chair and hit the ground with his bottom.
Morgana was startled with the noise and opened her eyes to find him splattered on the floor, massaging his sore buttocks.
"Merlin, are you ok?" She worriedly asked.
"I'm fine, nothing that I hadn't experienced before being Arthur's personal punching bag, ops, manservant." He grinned at her.
She smiled and said, while grabbing his arm: "Here, let me help you."
When she got near to him, Merlin's heart increased its beating rate and he felt that gleeful warm sensation, the one that for made him believe that just by being near her everything was going to be fine.
If Morgana was being true to herself, she'd admit that she volunteered to help him partially because she was concerned about his wellbeing and part because she desired to feel again that inexplicable sensation that came upon her when she was near him: the one that warmed her heart, the one that she was getting addicted in, the feeling of belonging that awkwardly came from being close to Merlin.
Merlin glanced at her belly when she helped him stand and Morgana noticed it. Remembering that they haven't exactly talked about the whole 'we're-having-a-baby-even-though-we-aren't-even-courting' situation, nor the implications for their lives, the young seer decided to ask:
"Do you want to touch it, Merlin?"
"What? Touch? Where?" He fumbled with his words.
"My belly. You were looking at my abdomen, I thought that you wanted to, you know."
Merlin opened his mouth and made a silent 'oh', then he replied:
"Yes, I'd like, that's if it's ok to you." He rapidly told her.
"Humrum, it's fine." She assured him.
Hesitantly, Merlin place his hand on top of her lower abdomen, looking absolutely unsure if he was doing the right thing and never taking his eyes off her belly.
Morgana thought that he did so as if she would break at any moment or change her mind and accuse him of taking advantage of her. For those brief instants, Morgana wanted to caress his messy hair and tell him that it was fine, that she would never do that to him, that in fact she was utterly in love with him.
But instead of speaking her mind, she merely observed him until he reestablished eye contact and she glanced at his emotions, as he wasn't hiding anything from her that night. She noticed that his face showed a mix of happiness, pride and also fear.
"It's hard, your belly, I mean." He finally spoke.
"Yes, harder than Arthur's head." She grinned wickedly at him while he laughed at her remark.
"I don't think that's possible, Morgana." He chuckled.
"Maybe." Was her reply.
His hand lingered on her abdomen and he said:
"Gaius said that we can only feel the baby when it has more than five months."
"This one has already shown that he or she is pretty active." She stated.
"I know, Gaius told me everything." He retorted.
"Even that the king said he'll adopt our child?"
Merlin's heart skipped a beat when she said 'our' and he smiled radiantly at her. Obviously, Morgana wasn't unaffected and mirrored his smile while he spoke:
"Yes, I know that. But I guess that there's nothing I can do about it. Don't get me wrong, I would do anything to do the right thing, I mean marry you, that's if you'd accept me, of course, but my life isn't only my own –" She interrupted him by sealing their lips together, throwing away her restrains and rational reasons not to do that, which probably would risk his life even more that it already was endangered (if that was even possible).
After the initial shock, he kissed her back and the two of them got tangled in each other's arms, experiencing an inebriating sensation of love, warmth and acceptance. It was indeed weird, a simple act that many times was void of meaning, for them was an entire promise of love and a deeper connection. It felt so right and their lips moved slowly, they enjoyed every movement that the other made, every caress and tender touch that the other provided, it was as if the both of them melted in the other's touch.
When the kiss ended, Merlin and Morgana slowly parted themselves, but kept holding their arms.
"I love you"
So, I'll be writing my dissertation for my post-graduation, so I'll take a long while to update this story and the other.