A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Liberty, I do have more stories planned it's just finding the time to write them. I miss some of the other writers too and it's harder to write when you have very little that you like to read... reviews help though :o)
Chapter Twenty Five – Day Eleven
Wheeler.
He is nearly always the first thing I think of when I wake, but today I have a reason, he saved me. He is still wrapped around me, holding me close in his warm embrace. My mouth curls into a smile, I could get used to this.
We should be going though, Skumm's men might… my chest aches as I breathe in, why? The water, the knife! I gasp and look up at… the ceiling in my cabin. I breathe a slightly painful sigh of relief. Skumm was just a nightmare. I wish the rest of it was too.
Wheeler is still sleeping, I love watching him like this but since there is no immediate need to get up, I close my eyes again and let myself relax, drifting into a light doze. Safe in my Yankees arms.
After a while he stirs, stretches and then cuddles back around me. I hug him and wish him a good morning, snuggling closer into his warmth.
"Mmm hmm," He pulls me tighter, obviously not wanting to be disturbed yet.
"It is late." I say quietly. "We should probably get up before the others come looking for us… and if they find us… like this…"
"…they might get the wrong idea. I know." He seems disappointed but lets go of me anyway.
Wheeler gets out of bed, stands up and starts doing stretches… he looks like a male model! I keep wondering how he can have such a good body when I know what he eats!
His eyes flick to mine and I quickly look away, bozhe 'moy, he is trying his best to help me and be a gentleman, and I sit here checking him out!
I can feel the blush creeping up my neck, I need to concentrate on something else… anything else… like the way my door is moving with the breeze. "WHEELER! THE DOOR WAS LEFT OPEN ALL NIGHT!"
"Oh, yeah. It wasn't shut when I got here last night. It's why I was able to just walk right in. I guess yesterday when I slammed it, it knocked it out of alignment. It doesn't shut right now." He explains.
I look at him not knowing whether to be angry or just laugh. "So you broke my door…again?"
"Guess I don't realize my own strength," He says, flexing his muscles and then asking teasingly, "Wanna feel?"
I suddenly feel very shy, I would like nothing more than to run my fingers over those muscles but I would die of embarrassment doing it so openly. It is much better to feel his arms around me anyway, when his top is bare I can feel nearly every movement of his well kept muscles…
"I have felt." I tell him, letting him know that I really am aware of him. Even through my embarrassment though, I am still thinking. "But what if someone came by…and saw…?"
"I don't think anyone did. We would've heard Gi squeal with delight, Ma-Ti would've squealed in embarrassment, and Kwame would've gasped so loudly in disgust that he would've sucked all the air out of the room….and then he would've let us know how inappropriate we're being."
I am not convinced. I know we were not doing anything wrong but I am not sure I can cope with Kwame yelling at me today… then again, I gave Gi more than enough reason to yell yesterday anyway.
"Don't worry Babe. People have been keeping their distance from you anyway... I'd bet big money that no one came anywhere near this cabin last night."
"Da, you are probably right." Why does that not make me feel any better?
"I'm gonna go back to my room and get dressed. Wanna meet me in the kitchen for breakfast?"
Not really. "I guess."
"You don't have to…I mean, if you're sick of me…" I know he is teasing, it is just his way, but it makes it harder to refuse.
"I am not sick of you…" I reply anyway, forcing myself to get up out of bed. "I just do not want to eat. I know I have to… but nothing sounds appetizing to me."
I wrap my arms around myself and rub my arms, it is cold again, though it does not feel quite so bitter as it has done, perhaps it is just because I have left a warm bed.
"Well maybe you'll feel differently once you get there." He suggests hopefully. "Maybe you'll find something that you can tolerate."
"I will try." I agree, though mostly for his sake.
"That's all I'm asking," He replies and holds his arms out.
Without hesitation, I walk straight into them and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head against his shoulder, which is in just the right place. In turn, he folds me in his arms and kisses the top of my head, rubbing me gently to warm me up. We are exactly the right height to make this comfortable for each other. It is strange how the only person I have ever felt comfortable enough with to be so close to, seems to be so physically perfect for me.
I have just begun to wonder in what other ways we fit together when he pulls away slightly.
He kisses my forehead and then rests his own against it as he slides his hands down my arms to hold my hands. "See you in a bit."
I look up to meet his eyes and nod my acquiescence but make no move to pull away from him. Instead I let him release me and he walks backwards out of the door, never taking his eyes from mine.
I stand there for a couple of minutes after he leaves, staring after him. How is it that Wheeler can make something as simple as holding hands, feel so intimate? We did nothing, and yet I feel like I just said goodbye to my lover… I can still feel his touch on my body, the feel of his lips, the gentle brush of his fingers… just his touch.
Even if I tried, I could not remember the feelings from my nightmare now, there is only Wheeler and I want it to stay that way.
When the spell finally breaks I head towards the bathroom but stop dead as I reach the door. I can feel the colour draining from my face. My ripped and discarded clothes are lying abandoned at the side, along with Wheeler's t-shirt and a towel. Bozhe 'moy, if the others were to see this…
I gather them up quickly and take them into the bathroom to dry, only to pause again at what I find. The floor is wet and there is still water in the bath. Worse than that though, is the knife that is still lying by the tub.
I edge round it like it is some huge bug, and throw my bundle into the corner. Tears fill my eyes and I am trembling. You are being stupid! I reprimand myself and taking a deep breath I step forward and lean down to retrieve the kitchen utensil. Before my fingers touch the cold metal however, I freeze and pull away again.
I cannot do it.
Backing towards my bedroom door, my nerve breaks and I turn and run. Yanking open my unlocked door I head straight to Wheeler's cabin and enter without knocking. Without even thinking about what I am doing, I try the second door into his bathroom – where I can hear the water running in the shower – and call his name.
"Lin?" He replies, understandably surprised. His head pokes out around the shower curtain while he pulls it around himself. "What's wrong?"
My cheeks are burning and I look away. "I am sorry. I… I am sorry."
"Hey, it's okay." His hand gropes to the side for a towel and he emerges a few seconds later with it wrapped around his waist.
I still cannot look at him as he comes to stand in front of me, first rubbing my arms and then pulling me against him and holding me close.
"Tell me what's wrong." His voice is steady and confident, perhaps because he knows that I have run to him at the first opportunity.
It might make him feel confident but it makes me feel very small and helpless. "The knife… it is still in my bathroom."
I can feel him grimace. "I'm sorry Babe, I should have cleared all that!"
He sounds so guilty, I tighten my grip and rub my cheek against his shoulder. "It is okay, but I could not pick it up… I am so sorry Wheeler."
"Hush now." He is stroking my hair with one hand and holding me securely with the other.
My shaking slowly subsides and I sigh quietly.
Wheeler pulls away and kisses my forehead. "I'll go tidy up, stay in here 'til I come back okay?"
I nod and as he moves away. "Erm Wheeler."
"Yeah Babe?" He smiles as he turns back.
I point at the wet towel that is his only protection. "Do you want to get dressed first?"
He is actually blushing! It makes me giggle, and his eyes light up in response. "Oh you think it's funny huh?"
"Wheeler…" I say warningly, backing away as I anticipate what he is going to do. Trying to duck away from his reaching arms, I slip on the wet floor but before I hit the ground, he catches me, gathering me close. "Wheeler!" I squeal, as he makes good on his threat, sticking his fingers into the sensitive part of my side and tickling me until I beg for mercy.
When our laughter subsides, he kisses my forehead and leads me into his bedroom, gently sitting me down on his bed, before collecting his clothes and disappearing back into the bathroom.
I am a bit damp from where he hugged me but it is not too bad so I sit back and curl my legs up underneath me. A short time later he exits the bathroom again, wearing trousers but still bare-chested. "Won't be long Babe."
His hair is wet and the whole effect is incredibly cute. I groan and slide down until I am laying on my back, and staring at the ceiling.
He definitely needs a sky light!
"Trying to envision what that skylight will look like?" Wheeler's voice makes me jump and my cheeks flush, I did not hear him return.
"Da, I guess…sorry. I was lost in thought." I tell him sitting up and giving a nervous laugh whilst hoping he will not ask what I was thinking about.
"Good thoughts I hope," He asks as he sits next to me, making me blush deeper.
I had been thinking about him, and how our relationship had changed since we first met. Most of it had been good so I nod shyly and smile at him.
"Your room and bathroom are all ready for you…but if you want…if you're still feeling weird about it…you can use mine. Or not…you can use yours and I'll come with you…uh, not IN there with you, but I mean…to your room. I'd wait in your room…so I'd be close if you needed anything…not that you would. Unless you want me to wash your back, hehe…uhh…bad joke…sorry."
I chuckle quietly at his embarrassed babbling, I find it rather sweet. "It is really okay Wheeler, you do not need to apologise but I think it would be better if I used my own room, on my own, I need to get over my anxiety." I slip my hand inside his and link our fingers. "You can come and sit on my bed and wait for me if you want to though."
He gives my hand a squeeze in response. He has that look on his face that he has sometimes, when I do or say something to please him, Gi calls it goofy.
As I stand up, I feel a sudden stiffness in my calf and cry out in pain, nearly falling over.
"What's wrong?" Wheeler asks steadying me, and helping me to sit down again.
I rub my tightened muscles, aware that my leg is not the only place that feels tight. "Cramps. I have been aching since I got up but it was not too bad and I thought a warm shower would fix it, I guess I waited too long."
He responds immediately. "That's my fault. I should have taken care of that mess sooner. Let me make it up to you."
"It is not your fault Wheeler…" Trust my Yankee to blame himself… his offer catches my attention though and I cannot help asking curiously. "But how do you plan on making it up to me?" I have a few ideas.
"Scoot back a little and lay back." He tells me, his eyes sparking.
I do as he requests and he kneels down in front of me. Considering where my mind was going a few moments ago, I cannot help wondering exactly what he has in mind. I sit up on my elbow and ask, "Wheeler what are you…"
"Sssh, lay back and relax," Is that amusement I hear in his voice? He must know what I was thinking about! I do as he says, fighting my embarrassment.
He pulls up my trouser leg to my knee and starts to massage my sore leg. He really is very good at it and I can feel my muscles begin to respond almost immediately. I tuck my arms behind my head and close my eyes.
He moves on to my other calf and then when he is done, stands up, still holding my leg and places my ankle on his shoulder, stepping forward.
"Is that too much stretching? I'm not hurting you, am I?" He asks, looking down.
"Nyet, that feels… good." A slight understatement!
"It's a good way to stretch the hamstring muscles," He is still rubbing my leg as he talks.
I nod, closing my eyes again. "Mmm hmm," Speech seems somehow beyond me at this point. I do not know how he manages to affect me so much, he is not even touching anything sensitive but the feeling of his hands on my skin is… stimulating.
His hands move up to my thigh, rather high on the inside of my thigh in fact. I want to laugh – a nervous laugh, I do not find it amusing – but I manage to keep my composure. I know he is not trying anything, but I cannot help wondering if he knows the effect he is having. These sensations are all new to me, but I am sure it is not the first time he has touched a woman.
I sigh as he releases my legs, sorry that it is over, but apparently he has not finished. "Switch positions, with your head up by my pillow, and lay on your stomach," He instructs me. "Oh, and take your shirt off."
"What?" My heart starts thumping and for a second I cannot breathe.
Apparently I embarrassed him, "Umm, just the sweatshirt…you have a t-shirt on underneath…I uh…it's too thick…if you really want a good massage, I gotta be able to get to your muscles…can't do that through all the layers."
"Oh. Ok." My heart is still trying to escape my chest but I do as he asks and try not to think about it too much.
He kneels astride me, there is no weight on me but there is contact. Between that and what his hands are doing… I have always been older than my years but right now I feel very much like a teenage girl.
My t-shirt is riding up, I can feel a slight draft across my back. My unruly mind begins to day-dream, imagining him pushing my shirt up and doing what he is doing now but with no cloth in the way, imagining the feel of his lips as they join his hands…
I gasp air into my lungs as I feel his hands make contact with my exposed skin, almost as if he had heard my thoughts! I am lost in the moment, the pleasure of his touch, the anticipation of what is to follow.
He stops suddenly and pulls my top down, adjusting his position to make it easier to continue the massage.
I could cry with frustration. Does he not feel anything? Is he so used to touching women that this has no effect on him? Or is my current form really so repulsive that he has lost all interest?
When he reaches my neck and shoulders I begin to relax again, he is far too good at this to do otherwise.
He is not too disgusted to touch me, I remind myself, even if his interest is no longer romantic. He has after all, seen everything there is too see, even if he tried not to look as he said. He looked! It would be unnatural if he did not… I would have, I would not have been able to help it. And perhaps after I am fully recovered, things will go back the way they were, only this time maybe I will not push him away so vigorously.
This does feel wonderful, I could stand it for hours. Unfortunately however, he has other ideas. I feel him lean down, more of his body coming into contact with mine as he puts his mouth close to my ear. "Feel better?"
I am so relaxed right now, I do not want move and if he was inclined to lower himself a bit further and cuddle into me, I would happily stay here all day.
It is not to be though, he gets up and stands beside the bed so I give in and roll onto my back. "Da, I feel so good, I do not want to move for fear of tightening up again… but I really do need to get back to my room and shower."
Without warning, he slides his arms under me and lifts me up.
"Wheeler! What are you doing?" I ask in surprise, throwing my own arms around his neck for safety.
"What's it look like? You don't wanna move, so I'm carrying you!" He is enjoying this!
I laugh, "I was joking! I can walk!"
"I know you can…but isn't this better?" He teases as he carries me out of his room and towards mine.
This happens to coincide with another favourite day dream of mine, well more than one actually, but in those he lays me gently on the bed and lies down beside me, which he could have just done in his room.
I am so caught up in my fantasy though that it does not occur to me to release him when we reach our destination, consequently, his attempt to playfully drop me on my bed results in him being pulled off balance and landing unceremoniously on top of me with his face between my breasts.
We both erupt into helpless laughter, which feels even better than the massage. As we calm down a little he lifts himself up and gazes down into my eyes.
"Sorry," I tell him. "I did not mean to make you lose your balance and fall. Are you ok?"
He smiles and nods, then strokes my hair from my face. "I'm more than ok. But what about you? I just kinda crushed you!"
"I am ok… more than ok, as you said." I reply, resting my hand on his arm and then taking a chance, reaching up to run my fingers through his hair.
We look at each other and smile, the moment is perfect, all he needs to do is bend his head slightly to close the distance between us. I am ready and more than willing, this feels right…
He laughs nervously and moves away. "Guess I better let you up so you can get your shower,"
"I guess," I reply sharply, getting up and grabbing some clean clothes before entering the bathroom. I close the door with a snap and lock it, then I stop and rest my forehead against it.
Why should I be angry with him? I cannot make him feel something he does not… I have to stop this before I ruin our friendship!
To be continued…
A/N: And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Wheeler's side of the story in Becks7's Co-dependents Chapter 25! Let us know what you think!