Hayley and Sophie sat on the couch sipping tea. Hayley had arrived that afternoon and installed herself upstairs at the Webster's. Initially Sally had been all whinging and all "Oh Sophie" about it, but she knew that she would roll over. Sally had really hit it off with Hayley, so much so that Sophie worried that she'd start dating her. She really wished that she showed such courtesy to all her girlfriends, but at least it was nice for once to be on the right side of her mum. Thankfully Sally was out of the house for the night with her dad. Sophie had been smart enough not to delve any further.
"So when is Luther on?" Hayley asked. It was so good to have her here. It might seem strange that Sophie was so relieved to have an ex-lover around while she was dealing with issues but Hayley was so no-nonsense that it was refreshing. She knew that if she didn't want to talk about anything serious than she didn't have to. But if she did then she'd be able to get a straightforward opinion. Americans tend to be like that.
"You just want to use me for my superior British TV don't yah?" Sophie laughed.
"Well since all you watch is crap like TOWIE someone has to remind you how lucky you are" Hayley mocked her.
"Oi! You watch out because Geordie Shore is on and I hate missing what's happening" Sophie said. She accepted that she liked crap television. It was nice to escape every once and awhile from your own problems.
Sophie took a sip from her tea. "Y'know we could always nip over to the Rovers" Sophie tried to slip in casually. Sian was working tonight-her first night shift mind you. She had insisted that Sophie should hang out with Hayley tonight clearly because she didn't want her there. There had been some tension between the two women since Hayley had arrived, which put Sophie in a hard position. In some ways she was glad that Sian was busy tonight because at least then she didn't have to deal with the stiffness between the two women.
But on the other hand she was terrified because Sian was serving up pints to punters in the Rovers and who knew what could happen. She had heard some of the craziest stories about pub fights-ones that her own father had been a part of. And proudly so.
It wasn't because she doubted that Sian could handle it. She could be tough if she wanted. Sophie had seen it enough when they had first come out and lads would give them trouble. Sian was the one who had stood up for them with the pastor when Sophie wasn't so sure about it all. She knew that Sian would be able to deal with any problem that came about. Still she was nervous about it.
"No Way! You'll just spend the whole time either paying attention to everything she does or everything that anybody else does to her" Hayley shook her head. "Uh Un. You will have to entertain me right here" she insisted as she pointed toward the couch. "And by the way Sian insisted upon it because she didn't want you freaking out in the middle of it all" Hayley said trying to be funny about it but really being serious deep down.
"Well you don't like each other so why don't you bend to my will?"
"I don't know what you're talking about Webster" Hayley said with an arched eyebrow.
It was true, the two ladies had a strong tolerance of each other, but it wasn't friendly. It never had been even from the start. She understood why Sian was weary. It was one thing for Sophie to be mates with Chesney, but ex-girlfriends was a new territory. Well, to be honest, it was all a bit of deja-vu to a few years ago when she had hung around another trouble-making mare.
"Oh c'mon! Give her a break" Sophie pleaded.
"If you're happy with someone whose willing to change from lasses to blokes just like the seasons then it's your choice" Hayley huffed. Sophie sighed and picked up there mugs to go brew up another cup.
"Behave! Not everyone is as 100% as we are. Look at Marcus down the road. One minute he's gay as the day and the next he's living with Maria" Sophie pointed out.
"Yeah, what's that about?" Hayley laughed. "This whole place is full of gender confusion" Hayley continued on as she got up and moved to lean on the counter. "But seriously Soph…" her voice getting solemn for a rare moment. "What is going on? Are you going to see this therapist?" Hayley asked.
"Websters don't do therapy" Sophie said dismissively. She knew that she had said that she would go talk to someone, but really she didn't see the point of paying someone to sit and listen to you babble on about your problems. She hadn't done it when she had felt lost during her parent's divorce. She always had either Sian to talk to or someone else on the street like Emily or Rita. "I'll be fine" Sophie said crossing her arms while waiting for the kettle to boil.
"Have you had any other attacks Soph?" Hayley asked.
Sophie's lips became a straight line, her eyes a bit fiery. "Drop it" she said curtly.
"It's just cause I care Sophie" Hayley sighed.
The kettle boiled over. Sophie flicked it off and poured them both a cup. She headed into the front room to flop back on the couch. She turned on the television. Hayley joined her.
"Well you can talk to me you know" Hayley said sincerely.
Her phone buzzed. It was Sian who said she would call on her break. Sophie left to the kitchen.
15 minutes later she came back to front room.
"Checking up on you?" Hayley asked with a sarcastic edge.
"Oh ha ha. Give her a break. This is hard on her" Sophie said sipping her cup of tea which had gone cold. She grimaced.
"Why? We were done ages ago" Hayley asked.
"Because of what happened before" Sophie said flipping thru channels. She really didn't want to talk about it, but she knew that there was a very specific reason that Sian and Hayley didn't get on.
"Woah! Wait a minute, I totally get it" Hayley said excitedly. "You and her get back together and it's this epic thing. Music, Lights, Hearts. But then she's going to go away and I'm coming here" Hayley said so quickly that she had to catch her breath.
"Look at you putting that Introductory Psychology course to work" Sophie said sarkily. She didn't like being psychoanalyzed but she couldn't make it stop.
"Have you and her sat down and talked about what happened?" Hayley asked.
"Course we did in California. It was all apologies and tears" Sophie summed it up delicately.
"No I mean sat down and really gone over it" Hayley pushed not letting it drop.
"It hurts too much Hayley, I can't" Sophie said in a voice that was barely audible. Her chest was pounding again just thinking about talking about it. "I'd rather just leave it" Sophie pleaded.
"Well I think you're mind is telling you something else" Hayley observed.
Hayley had gone to bed, but Sophie was still up. It was going to be hard dealing with her girlfriend working these late night shifts. She had promised Sophie that she would text her when she got off.
Sophie flipped open the photo album on the table again. Hayley had insisted that she pull it out, it seemed mainly to mock Sophie's childhood love of dungarees. Even though she enjoyed using her phone to take pictures so that she could Instagram, it was still nice to have actual physical photographs. It just wasn't the same flipping thru them on her laptop.
Of course she had noticed that any photos from December 2011 were gone. It was like her life ended right after her birthday in November and then picked right up in April 2012. It was clear that her mum had done some selective editing.
Speaking of her mum, Sally came down the stairs in her robe to see Sophie still sitting on the couch.
"What you doing up dear? Thought that you had gone to bed" Sally said sitting down next to her daughter. "Oh I love that one" she said pointing to an old school picture that they had forced Sophie and Chesney to take on one of their first days of school.
"Waiting for Sian to get home so I know she's safe" Sophie said turning the album page.
"You worry about her don't you?" Sally said concerned and empathetic at the same time. She too had dealt with a husband who sometimes liked to stay out late or had to leave due to being on call. It was always a little nerve-wracking, even though she knew that Kevin could take care of himself.
Kevin had also informed her about what the doctor had said at the hospital. She knew that as strong as Sophie could be, she was also much more prone to worry than her other daughter. Rosie could be a drama queen, but she never lacked confidence. Sophie was a bundle of insecurities with only the most obvious of emotions climbing to the surface. It still surprised her how long she'd been able to hide her sexuality. For at least 9 months Sally reckoned from what Sophie had told her.
As her daughter had grown up though, Sally had noticed that she had developed more maturity. She was less prone to angry outbursts. Still it made sense that now her body was just manifesting those emotions in another way. She couldn't help but blame her daughter's new relationship with her ex-girlfriend to be a part of it.
On the other hand she knew better than to try and get into the middle of it. Her daughter was an adult now and had to make her own mistakes. So unless Sophie was suffering from actual physical harm, then she would not be able to stop herself from interfering. It was a mother's duty as she saw it.
"Mum, what happened to all the pictures that had been in here after this one?" Sophie asked indicating all the empty spaces that had been previously been filled.
"Well sweetie, you asked me to take them out" Sally responded softly. It had been during the first few days of the year after that Sally had come in from work one day to find her daughter furiously ripping pictures out of this photo album. The poor girl had been either comatose, crying or in bits for several days and she had been hesitant to leave her. Still Sophie had insisted that she had to go to work so Sally had gone. She had had to physically restrain her at the time which wasn't easy.
"In fact you asked me to burn them and said that you never wanted to see them again" Sally said softly.
"You didn't did you?" Sophie asked tentatively.
Sally got up and and pulled a book off the shelf. Opening it she pulled the photographs that had been stowed away out.
"No. Wasn't sure when I would see you in a dress like that ever again" as she placed the photos in front of her. There were various pictures both professional and candid that they had had taken during the engagement. Sophie was surprised by how happy she looked in them.
"Thanks a lot mum!" Sophie said in mock offense.
"Well you never know. You're kind always seem to go in for pant suits" Sally sniffed.
"As if!" Sophie scrunched up her face in disgust. At the moment her phone buzzed. She grabbed it quick, read the screen, and sighed in relief. "She's home. Steve made sure she was okay" Sophie grinned.
"Good. Now get up to bed, it's late" Sally said as she turned and headed upstairs herself.
Sophie gathered up the old pictures on the table and headed up herself.