Chapter Two – Growing Old
Night had fallen over the clubhouse, they had spent the whole day in bed. Lauren had called in sick to work for the first time in her entire life. It really was lucky that they both had pull with the new Ash, they were sure Hale knew what was up but he went along with it anyway.
It was only a few hours from morning and Bo was still awake, Lauren was wrapped in her arms, her head on Bo's chest, she gazed at her sleeping form lovingly. The blonde was totally spent from their love making and Bo's feeding. She literally looked like an angel when she slept. Her golden hair was splayed every which way like rays of sunlight and her creamy porcelain skin glowed in the light of the salt lamp in the corner and the full moon streaming through the open window.
Bo knew she'd spend the rest of the night just watching Lauren sleep until she could literally not keep her eyes open any longer. She dotingly stroked her girls hair, she truly cherished every moment she spent soaking in her aura. She smirked at herself and shook her head, she was fucking lovesick. Who would believe it, the badass succubus, whipped. She bit her lip to contain her giddy smile. It was a ironic how she could feel so deliriously happy and so ridiculous at the same time, so un-"herself".
Laying here with Lauren like this, just trying not to close her eyes so she wouldn't have to wake up in case this was all just a dream, she couldn't help but think about their future. She'd thought about their future before but she hadn't really thought about their future. It seemed to suddenly just occur to her that one day, she'd have to watch Lauren die. It was a morbid thought but living in the Fae world, morbid thoughts came with the general day to day. Not growing old with Lauren might just kill her she realized. She couldn't imagine anything after her, there could never be anything after her. The serial fornicating succubus had finally found her kryptonite, in the form of a brainy blonde. Since committing to Lauren, she'd even stopped feeding on others, at least fully, she had only fed by mouth with unaffectionate kisses and no sex. Sure she'd been extra weak lately, but she was living in the love bubble and so far she hadn't been injured enough for it to make a huge difference.
Her breath caught in her throat and thoughts of what their future might look like bombarded her. Lauren with grey hair, old but still so beautiful and herself, looking not much older than she did now, still running around probably battling Under Fae. She'd have to watch her die, watch her take her last breath and if they ever had children (adopted or otherwise) unless they were Fae, she'd have to watch her children grow old and die as well. No parent should have to bury their children. Bo felt overwhelmed, her head started spinning. She knew it was pointless thinking of things so far in the future but sitting next to Lauren thinking these morbid thoughts made her feel even worse so she untangled herself from her lovers embrace and slipped out of bed. Lauren mumbled a protest even though she never even remotely woke up. Unconsciously, she reached out for Bo's pillow and snuggled her face into it, breathing her scent in in her sleep. A faint smile brushed over her angelic face and Bo's heart broke a little more.
She knew it was completely irrational of her to be panicking about these things now, after all they'd been together for quite some time now, maybe it was because she was only now absorbing how deeply in love she was with the blonde, whatever the case, Bo's thoughts were tearing her apart.
She dug her fingers into her hair, trying to squeeze the thoughts out. But the thing that was haunting her was that there was no escaping it, this was one problem she couldn't solve with her amazing succubus powers or anything else for that matter. The thought of something like this tearing them apart was unacceptable to her but ignoring the problem was not an option either. Whatever the case, she knew she wouldn't have an answer for things tonight, but she still couldn't sleep.
She heard soft shuffling behind her, Kenzi came out of her room. "Hey Bo-Bo," her friend rubbed her eyes as her slippers shuffled across the floor. She went to the kitchen and poured herself some tea from the hot water Bo had just made as she sipped on her own tea. "What-chu doin' up Boba Fett?" Kenzi gave her a lopsided smirk as she came to curl up on the couch with Bo.
Bo tried to smile at her raven-haired sister but she couldn't manage to get the smile to reach her eyes. Kenzi reached out covered Bo's hand that was resting on her knee with her own, staring at her lovingly, patiently. "I just couldn't sleep, I thought I'd wake up early and make Lauren breakfast, I'm just waiting for the sun to rise." Bo brushed it off not even knowing how to put her worrisome thoughts into words right now, even to her best friend.
Kenzi wasn't giving up that easily. "Why couldn't you sleep?" The blue eyed beauty probed gently.
Bo shook her head and sighed, knowing she couldn't avoid the topic with one of the two people that knew her the best and talking to Kenz about this was better than talking about this to anyone else. It was silly but she felt like saying her greatest worry out loud would make it come true, though it already was and there was no avoiding it. She shook her head at herself and forced herself to get the words out. "I was just thinking… about how Lauren will get old and I won't." She kept it short. It had always tormented her that Mackenzie would age faster than her as well but as hard as it was to admit, it was different where Lauren was concerned but she didn't want to rub the point in.
Kenzi nodded and took a moment to process. "Well life is short and fleeting, especially human life but as long as you love each other and you make each other as happy as I know you two do, then that's all you can ever hope for in life." Kenzi shrugged not knowing what else to say to console her best friend.
Bo gave her a pathetic smile, Kenzi's words were heartfelt but honestly, humans couldn't understand what the burden of such a long Fae life felt like, especially when the people you cared about most would live their lives and die before your life had even almost begun in the long term. For the first time she truly felt the divide of being Fae. She felt cursed. She had gone through her periods of hating being Fae before, but nothing had yet come close to this feeling that was haunting her to her bones.
She patted Kenzi on the hand. Her friend sensed that Bo was still feeling tormented but there was nothing more to be said. They sat in silence sipping their tea together until the sun came up. Bo found comfort in the closeness of her sister, even in the deafening silence.
Lauren woke up to the smell of eggs, bacon and coffee. She smiled and slipped out of bed, her feet lightly padding the floor as she tiptoed downstairs. She smiled when she saw Bo in the kitchen and walked up behind her quietly, wrapping her arms around her lover. "Morning baby." Lauren's voice was low and gravely. Bo sighed and leaned back into Lauren's chest.
"Hello lover."
"You made me breakfast?"
"Of course, grab some coffee and sit down."
Lauren kissed Bo on the back of the neck, untwined her arms from her and grabbed her coffee and a seat. Bo put the food on the table and took a seat across from her girlfriend at the bar. They started to eat in quiet contentment. The lack of sleep had Bo in a daze and she literally couldn't even feel her frustration any longer. She felt a little numb and was trying to just enjoy the morning before Lauren left for work and her mind was plunged into dark thoughts again.
Lauren looked up at her girlfriend and the brunette smiled at her adoringly across the table. Lauren watched her as she continued to eat, thinking how lovely she was. She was so brave and strong, stubborn as well but Lauren couldn't help but find it adorable.
She started to think about little Bo's running around, hopefully not in this death trap they called the Clubhouse, but somewhere, somewhere they called their own, with Kenzi too of course. She imagined they'd have dark silk hair, wide brown eyes and fair skin, running around practicing martial arts and sword fighting with wooden swords. She smiled to herself. Her mind drifted to the kids growing up, her aging as well and Bo staying virtually the same as she was in this very moment.
She felt a dreadful pit growing in her stomach. She slowed her eating, relenting to nibbling on a piece of toast to busy herself so Bo didn't notice that she wasn't eating. She thought about herself dying and Bo moving on with someone else. She couldn't bear to picture someone else's hands on her lover's body. It made her feel sick, the thoughts were physically painful. She felt it well up in her chest, a tightness that was unbearable, she recognized it as heartache.
She knew it was silly thinking of things so far in the future but whether or not she wanted to admit it to herself, the scientist in her couldn't disregard the facts.
The rest of the morning was quite silent.
Sooner than not, they said goodbye for the morning, Lauren kissed Bo lovingly, taking the time to cup her cheek and run her thumb down her jaw. The moment hung in the air for a long time, the atmosphere thick with unsaid words. Bo nuzzled her face into her lover's hand. Lauren nodded and whispered goodbye before leaving.
Bo stood like a statue in the empty house for a long lingering period of time before finally busily distracting herself with researching possible clients.