Chapter Thirty Three - Day Fifteen
When I wake I am alone. I can hear the shower running though so I know Wheeler is not far away. It is such a relief to know he is home! Closing my eyes again, I let myself drift into a light sleep until I am startled fully awake by Wheeler's voice.
"OW! DAMN IT!"
Alarmed, I leap out of bed and rush through the bathroom door without thinking. "Wheeler are you…OH!"
I stare just a little too long, but he is completely naked! Realising what I am doing I quickly cover my eyes and turn my back.
"SORRY!" We both exclaim at the same time.
I think the image of him is seared on the back of my eyelids but another exclamation, brings my attention back to the present. "Are you alright?"
"No…" He admits. "I bent down too quickly to try and snatch up my towel and reopened my wound…worse than what I did to it when I first opened it trying to keep the bandages from slipping."
I want to help him but, "Are you decent?"
"I am now," He replies and when I turn around he does have his towel in place.
He is bleeding from his wound and it needs immediate treatment but at least it is seeping rather than gushing. "You should have woken me. I would have taken care of this for you."
I pick up a clean pad and press it to the wound as he responds. "You looked so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb you."
I roll my eyes, sometimes there is no point in arguing with him. "Come on, grab your bandages and lay down. We need to get the bleeding to stop again."
"Hold on…lemme grab some boxers…there's a better chance of them staying on than this towel!" He jokes, retrieving a pair from his drawer and ducking back in the bathroom.
I consider arguing, his modesty is not exactly important compared to a gaping wound, but it would make us both more comfortable and I guess as long as he is quick…
When he exits the bathroom, though my eyes automatically go where they should not, my embarrassment is momentarily forgotten in laughter. "Are those monkeys?"
"Gorillas actually." He contradicts.
"Yes, you really are 'Going Bananas'," I tell him, reading out the words on the waistband of his boxers.
He feigns hurt. "What? You don't like 'em?"
"Nyet it is not that…they are…cute…and you can wear whatever you want…I just…cannot believe you wear those!" I am still trying not to laugh, but they really are cute.
"Well, usually, no one sees them…they're reserved for special people." He tells me.
I raise an eyebrow. "Oh really?"
He nods. "Yeah, so consider yourself lucky!"
"Oh, I do!" I reply sarcastically. Me and how many other girls, I wonder. "I can use information like this against you for YEEEEEEARS to come!"
"I can't believe you're not taking this seriously," He protests but I can see the familiar sparkle in his eyes. "You're the only person that I've ever let see these!"
Oh… I hide my embarrassment with bravado, crossing my arms in front of me and saying tartily. "Tell me Wheeler, how am I supposed to take anything seriously when a grown man is standing before me in boxer shorts with bananas and monkeys on them!"
He comes back with. "GORILLAS! And just because I'm legally an adult, does not make me a grown man…I'm 18…still a teenager!"
"Obviously," I smile affectionately at him. I have missed these moments. "Now come lay down here before you get blood all over those nice boxers."
He does as he is told but replies. "I'm sensing a hint of sarcasm."
"Just a hint? I guess I am not trying hard enough!" I tease in return.
"I don't know what hurts more…my wound or the fact that you don't like my favorite boxers!" He continues to complain but I am sure he is just trying to take his mind off of what I am doing with his wound so I continue the banter
"When did I say that I did not like them?" I counter
He is one of the strongest people I know. I have gotten the bleeding to stop but it must be hurting him and yet he continues to keep up a cheerful front. "You didn't have to say it…it's the lack of respect you're showing for them!"
I really am trying hard not to giggle now. "I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and your preferred sleepwear Yankee."
"Oh these aren't just for sleeping. These boxers have been with me on some of my favorite missions…that's why they're my favorite boxers!" He tells me.
"Which missions have been your favourite?" I ask, interested to hear the answer.
I think the medicine is working a little because he is beginning to relax. "Ok, well, my first favorite mission is our first one…because it was a day that changed my life forever…and it was the day I met you."
Oh… He is just being a smooth talker as usual but I can still feel myself react. I cannot trust my voice and my cheeks are growing hot but I keep my attention on his wound hoping he will not notice.
"Then there's the mission in Thailand…with the dragon." He continues.
That surprises me. "You liked being captured by a mechanical dragon?"
"I liked what was about to happen BEFORE I got captured by the mechanical dragon." For a minute I do not follow him but then I remember our walk and how we nearly kissed. My lips creep up at the corners as I remember that night. We came so close and I wanted it to happen, in fact I was unguarded enough to begin to respond… but then everything went wrong and Wheeler nearly died trying to save me. He didn't even think about it, he just diverted the dragon away from me and gave me my first glimpse into his heart. It terrified me, that someone could disregard their own life for mine so easily! As soon as I knew he was safe I made sure to keep him at arms length, I would never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me...
"But I had my lucky boxers on, so I knew I was going to be ok." He continues, apparently unaware of my discomfort. "And then there was that time with Sneezer! I wanted to get you a birthday present, but was an idiot and thought that an ivory necklace would be nice. Then I learned the cost of ivory…not just money, but the life of all those elephants…and that mission didn't leave me any time to get you a present…but you said seeing Sneezer reunited with her mom was good enough…and you were so happy, you almost kissed me."
"That is not what happened!" I say quickly, happy to divert my thoughts. "You said that in America, when you got a present, you thanked the person with a kiss. I said that in the Soviet Union, when boys make fast move, they get a fast nyet! Your lucky boxers were not so lucky for you then!"
He always has an answer though. "Sure they were…Sneezer and her mom were reunited. I didn't say they were always lucky for me!"
"Anymore favourites?" I ask.
"That time we went to DC…and I found out you were a hacker!" he says at once.
He has some very strange ideas about things. "What was so great about that?"
"Nothing…just learning something new and surprising about you…and it was kinda nice gettin' to work with you on a mission…just the two of us…and we didn't kill each other!"
He definitely has a point. "Da…we were a good team."
"We still are!" He says.
We are, or we would be, but… "Nyet…I am no longer a member of the team…it is only a matter of time before I am asked to leave."
"No way! That'll never happen." He exclaims.
I look away, unable to meet his eyes. "You sound so sure."
"Because I am." He assures me. "Remember when I was trapped behind that wall of ice with Blight? It was only a matter of time before we ran out of air…but you didn't give up on me…just like I'll never give up on you…Which brings me to my last favorite mission."
Turning my head back in surprise, I try to clarify. "Being trapped behind a wall of ice with a mad scientist?"
"Yep…it was worth it for the hug I got when you saved me…and then when we watched the sunrise…the start of the New Year…and I heard your beautiful singing for the first time. The lucky boxers were there for it! It was a great way to start off the New Year."
"It may have been a great start…but it has not been a very good year so far," I tell him sadly.
"No, it hasn't been…but the good news is it can't get any worse, right? Things have to start getting better…and they will…I thought they kinda were." He places his hand over my free one.
I turn my palm face up and grip his hand in return. "Da, they are…thanks to you…"
We smile at each other and though I do not really want this moment to end, I know it must. I release him and stand up, indicating that he should sit upright. "There, you are all patched up…again. I will wrap you in gauze and you will be all set."
It does not take long for me to finish my nursing duties. "All better…how do you feel?"
"Thanks Babe…didn't feel a thing," He lies, resting his hand on my waist.
I ruffle his hair in response, trying to keep things casual. "You are welcome," Then I sit down next him so that our hips are touching, his hand still resting lightly on my waist.
Wheeler breaks the companionable silence that ensues in the worst way possible. "So, should we plan on seeing Gaia today?"
"Nyet!" I almost shout in response, panic gripping my chest.
"Babe, you've been putting it off for days…what if something else comes up to put it off even longer?" He is trying to be reasonable again.
"That is fine by me." I say stubbornly.
He is not giving up though. "I thought you wanted to know."
"I do, but why is it so important to you? What difference does it make?" I ask, afraid that I already know the answer.
He confirms it. "It makes a huge difference."
"You want to know what Skumm did to me? You want to know if I am still worthy of your flirtations? Or whether or not I am damaged goods?" There I said it, it is all out in the open now.
"NO! This isn't about me. It's about making sure you're ok," He assures me quickly and I do want to believe him but I cannot help but wonder.
He cups my cheek with his hand in a soothing gesture. "Nothing will change how I feel about you. I'll always be around to annoy you with my flirting and bad lines, no matter what. I just…I have so much anger towards him. I wanna kill him for what he did to you…If I know that he didn't…you know…I'll still hate him, but maybe I can eventually get over that feeling of wanting him dead."
"And if he did…?" Would you really not be disgusted by me, Yankee? I would be… I could not blame you for…
His next words completely cut off that line of thought. "Then I'll make him pay for what he did to you…for all of it."
"You are not saying that you would kill him…are you?" I ask fearfully and when he does not answer I know that I am right. Taking his hand I move so that I can look him straight in the eyes. "You are better than him Jason. Do not let him cause you to do anything that is against your nature. I appreciate your wanting to get vengeance for me…but it is mine to get. I must be the one that deals with Skumm, and when that opportunity comes, I will take it…but it must be me who does it."
"What will you do?" He asks
And I reply honestly. "I do not know."
"But if we go to Gaia, she can help…" Back to that again.
"GAIA DOES NOT WANT TO HELP ME!" I shout.
He shakes his head. "Why would you think that?"
"She has had her chances. She avoids me. I think she is ashamed of me for becoming addicted to Bliss." I do not think I realised how much I missed having someone to confide in, I could never tell the others my fears like this, but with Wheeler it is just the natural thing to do.
"It wasn't your fault…she knows that." He tries to reassure me.
"Does she? She sure is not acting like it! She probably regrets choosing me for the Planeteers. I have been nothing but a disappointment." My eyes fill with tears, as I begin to let go of the emotions I have bottled up in his absence.
Of course he can do nothing but listen and offer me platitudes. "That's not true. You're the best Planeteer there is!"
"You are just saying that!" I scold him.
"No, I'm not. It's true. I've learned more from you than from anyone else. Maybe Gaia just doesn't know HOW to approach you? I mean, maybe she's having the same problem that the others are having? They didn't know how to approach you…they're still struggling with it."
Am I really so terrifying? I wonder. "But she is not like them! She is more! She is the Spirit of the Earth! She should know! She should have all the answers! She should not be afraid to approach me!"
"How can you say she's avoiding you? You hardly venture out of your room or my room…and when you do, I'm with you." He points out.
But it is not a good enough excuse for me. He does not know everything. "When you were away and I went to the Crystal Chamber to talk to you on Planet Vision, she could not leave the room fast enough."
"Maybe she wanted to give us some privacy?" He says waggling his eyebrows suggestively. I am not in the mood to be amused by that though and when he sees that he continues. "Seriously though Babe, I think maybe you're reading too much into it. I'm sure she just left because she didn't want to intrude."
I am nearly crying now, does he not understand? "Do not defend her to me! I do not want to hear it! I need you on my side!"
"I don't wanna take sides Babe. I wanna be neutral. But at the same time, I wanna be supportive of you." He means that to be reassuring, but he will not be able to remain neutral when she asks me to leave and if he supports her…
"Thank you." I say anyway, not wanting to argue with him.
Again it is Wheeler that breaks the silence. "So you're just gonna forget about it? Forget about finding out the truth?"
"Maybe not knowing is best." I tell him.
"If you can live with that…I guess that's fine." I can hear the argument in his voice though he is being careful not to disagree.
"You do not agree? You think I am wrong?" I prompt him, more aggressively than I had intended.
He is still being careful. "It's not my place to say…if this is what you want…I'm with you."
"For now…this is what I want." I tell him truthfully. He said it was fine if I could live with not knowing, well I can, it is 'knowing' that I am not sure I can live with.
"Ok…" He stands up. "I'm gonna see if Ma-Ti and Kwame feel like playing some video games since that's about the only fun activity I can do…wanna come?"
I feel strangely disconnected, I do not really want to be alone but at the same time I do not want to continue the conversation we have been having. "Nyet…I think I will go for a short walk…I promise, I will not over do it!"
"Good," He leans down and kisses my forehead and then starts putting the rest of his clothes on.
"Be careful." I admonish him as I begin to clean up the used bandages.
Is he trying to get away from me? He did ask if I wanted to join him but I got the impression that I was not really welcome… am I being too clingy? But he has only just got home… did he not miss me at all?
I smile at him as he leaves to find the others but my expression turns sad almost immediately as a million troubled thoughts war with each other inside my brain.
Heading down to the beach, I walk as quickly as I can, as if I am trying to leave my troubles behind. Or perhaps I am punishing Wheeler for not caring enough, by breaking my promise to him to take it easy. The exercise does help though, whether because I needed some fresh air or because by the time I return I am too tired to keep fretting, I do not know.
To be continued…
A/N: And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Wheeler's side of the story in Becks7's Co-dependents Chapter 33! Let us know what you think!