Chapter Thirty Four – Day Fifteen Continued

I am beginning to struggle as I return from my walk, but seeing Wheeler makes my pride kick in. I am not going to let him know I overdid it! "Done playing video games already? What is wrong? Kwame and Ma-Ti keep beating you?"

"No way! You know better than that! And actually, I ended up playing alone. Couldn't get anyone that was willing to take me on!" He replies, falling in beside me.

"I would take that challenge…if I were not so tired. I cannot believe it. It has not been long since I woke up, and that short little walk has exhausted me…" It is not a lie, if I were back to normal that walk would have been nothing. "…and I can already feel my muscles tightening up."

"You haven't eaten yet and neither have I. How about we grab some grub and then I'll see what I can do about loosening up those muscles." He offers.

I am not hungry but I am selfish enough to want the attention. "Nyet…I am not feeling like eating…but I will take you up on your offer about loosening up my muscles."

"Sorry Babe…you gotta eat. No eating, no massage! Besides, keeping hydrated and eating right will help with the muscle tension and cramping. Now come on, there's a glass of water and a banana loaded with potassium in the kitchen with your name all over them!"

I sigh but give in, eating like Suchi should not be too hard… I hope. "Daaaaa, Dr. Wheeler. If you insist."

"I do," He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to him, chasing away some of my fears. He has no idea the effect he is having on my emotions at the moment. What would he do if he did?

Thankfully lunch does not take too long, though now I am watching to make sure he is eating enough as well. Rather than helping my muscles though, sitting down has only made them stiffer and by the time we finish, I am very ready for the massage Wheeler promised me.

When we get to my room I kick off my shoes and drop my vest over my chair, and then make myself comfortable on the bed. Wise guy Wheeler cannot resist the urge to tickle me but though I throw a pillow in retaliation, the laughter makes me feel better.

Then he begins the massage in earnest and my body finally begins to relax. I can feel sleep approaching but do not try to fight it, not with Wheeler here to chase the bad dreams away.

When I wake my Yankee is laying next to me, trying to carefully tuck his arm around me. I lift my head to make it easier for him and he apologises for disturbing me.

"It is ok…I have slept long enough. I am sorry I fell asleep, but your massage was so relaxing…" I snuggle closer, careful to make sure my arm is over his waist and not near his wound.

"That's the point. Glad it worked." He says.

There are a few moments of peaceful silence and then he asks. "Are you happy Linka?"

It seems like such a strange question to me, I do not understand him. "With what?"

"With…this…" He replies.

"'This?' As in needing a massage to ease the pains caused by something as minor as taking a walk? To not have an appetite for any of the foods that I used to love? To be so cold, I feel like I am stuck outside in a Siberian winter, when in reality, I am on a tropical island? To know that I am incapable of helping my team mates on missions because I am not well enough to be useful? That my teammates do not have any confidence in me? Nyet…I am not happy."

I did not mean to take all that out on Wheeler, of all the people I know he deserves it least, but what did he want me to say?

"No, I guess you haven't had much to be happy about recently." He says cautiously. "But that's not what I meant. I meant right now…when you woke up. Were you happy?"

He deserves an honest answer. "Da…it is one of the few times that I am happy. When I am with you…"

"Ok…good," He hugs me closer to him, apparently satisfied with my response.

"That is all you needed to know?" I ask.

He leans his head against mine. "Yeah. I guess I just needed to make sure."

I sit up a little, leaning on my elbow so that I can see into his eyes and hopefully he can see that I mean what I am saying. "I am sorry…I should say it more often…to let you know. The only times I have been happy throughout this whole ordeal has been when I am with you."

"I'm just glad I can be here for you. And I'll always be here, even when you're all better and you don't need me anymore. I'll still always be around," He caresses my cheek and I automatically reach up to hold him there.

"I will never be 'all better' Wheeler. There will always be that temptation…that feeling that Bliss gave me…I know it was a false happiness, but it was unlike anything I have ever felt before. If there were a safe, legal way of getting that feeling…I would do it in an instant…and that worries me. Because what if there was an unsafe, illegal way of getting that same feeling…would I do anything for that also?"

"So you don't think anything else will ever make you happy? That no other happiness will ever top the feeling that Bliss gave you?" He asks.

Sometimes, when you look at me… "I do not know…I just know that I need to avoid anything that will make me sad."

"Like missions? Or going back to the Soviet Union for that dinner you were talking about?" He prompts.

"Nyet…I think I will be fine for those things. You will be there on missions…and you were going to come back to the Soviet Union with me, da?" I sound more nervous than I like.

He smiles. "Sure…if you still want me to."

"Da…I still want you to…I need you to." I confess.

"Then I'll be there…always, like I promised." He sounds older when he is like this, more mature.

"Spasiba," I lay back down and rest my head on his shoulder, comforted by his presence.

After a few moments he says. "I uh…I ran into Gaia earlier."

"Oh?" I try to keep my voice neutral but I have a feeling I am not going to like what he is going to say.

I was right. "Yeah…I asked her why she's been avoiding you."

"You should not have done that Wheeler." I admonish him, butterflies filling my stomach.

"But I found out why…you'd be surprised," he says. "She felt guilty."

I look at him in surprise. "Guilty about what?"

"About not being able to prevent what happened to you and your cousin, about making you a target." He gives me a squeeze trying to soften the words.

"And her answer is to leave me to it? I needed her support Wheeler, I needed to know that she still has faith in me… nyet, I do not buy it." I am angry and hurt, how can he believe anything she says.

Wheeler presses a kiss to my forehead in an attempt to soothe me. "Babe, she hasn't handled this well but she thought we were doing okay together, she didn't realise you needed her too."

"She sent you away!" I sob, burying my face in his shoulder. "And I nearly lost you for good."

He holds me tightly against him, though his wound means he can only use one arm. "Shhh, Babe, it's okay. I'm fine and I won't leave you again, no matter what anyone says okay?"

I nod and he continues. "You expect Gaia to be better at this because she's a supernatural being but… I think that's why she's not. She's not human Babe, I think… she sees the big picture but sometimes misses the detail. But she cares a lot, and she feels responsible for what's happened. So you see, if you wanted to talk to Gaia, she'd really like to help you. I think it'd be good for both of you to help the healing process."

"Perhaps you are right." I concede. Wheeler's words having had a calming effect on me. I want to believe him because I need to know I still have a future here.

"Whoa? Say that again? I think I misunderstood you!" He teases.

I give in. "You are right Wheeler!"

"Mark this date on the calendar!" He continues.

It is time to put a stop to his gloating. "Very funny wise guy…keep it up and I may change my mind!"

"Ok, ok," He gets up and holds his hand out to me. "Let's start the healing process, shall we?"

I take his hand and walk with him to the Crystal Chamber, but in truth, I would rather have stayed curled up at his side.

"Gaia? Are you still here?" Wheeler asks as we enter our command centre.

"Yes Wheeler, come on in," she replies as she appears before us. "Hello again. And hello Linka…how are you feeling?"

"Ok I guess…getting a little better every day." I answer politely

"Good. I'm glad to hear it… Linka, I owe you an apology. I understand that I have been giving the impression that I'm avoiding you and that I was upset with you. I'm sorry you felt that way…that was not my intention. I was upset with myself. I felt guilty for making you a target of Skumm. I thought you would be mad at me for putting you in that position too, that's why I was avoiding you."

I grip Wheeler's hand and keep my voice as steady as I can. "We all accepted the risks when we joined the Planeteers but… when something like this happens we need to know… I needed to know that you were behind me."

I stop, trying to calm down as I can feel tears threatening to overwhelm me and Wheeler pulls me against him in an encouraging hug.

"Of course I am behind you Linka, I have just been trying to give you time to heal. I don't want to ask too much of you too soon, or push you and see you fail." Gaia tries to explain. "That wouldn't help your recovery even if it wasn't your fault."

"So instead you made me feel like I was so insignificant that it did not matter if I recovered?" I am crying. "If I got better maybe I could be useful, if I did not then I am out!"

"No!" Gaia looks shocked. "Linka I promise you, there was never any question of my asking you to leave… the fate of the planet is tied up too closely with you and the other Planeteers. No one else can do this, if anything I am more afraid that I am asking too much and you will choose to leave."

I shake my head, unable to speak and clinging to Wheeler like a lifeline.

Gaia looks at me sadly and as I watch, becomes more solid. "It's not just saving the planet anymore either Linka… a mother is supposed to protect her children, and I couldn't protect you this time… and I wanted to."

I let out a sob and seeing Gaia lift her arms, I leave the safety of Wheeler's embrace to run forward, letting her enfold me in her gentle grasp. She is crying too.

When I calm down, the spirit of the Earth releases me and I return to a grinning Wheeler. He gives my hand a squeeze and I know he is feeling smug about his diplomacy skills. He is entitled this time though, so I only smile in response.

Gaia is smiling knowingly at both of us, I guess our new closer friendship is fairly obvious, at least she seems to approve. "Wheeler said you might like my help with something?"

I nod shyly. "If you can… if you do not mind." She nods so I say. "I want to check my memory… to make sure nothing happened that I do not remember."

"I understand." She says quietly and then. "Let's go back to your room for some privacy."

I am terrified. We get to my room before Gaia and Wheeler is doing his best to soothe me but it is not working and when she appears I move away from him blushing. He was not doing anything inappropriate but I do not want Gaia to get the wrong idea.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Linka?" Gaia asks.

I take a breath. "Da. It is time I put all of this behind me and move forward."

"Lay down Beautiful. We'll get this thing underway," Wheeler says, I think perhaps he is as nervous as I am.

I follow his instructions and go to the bed, trying to make myself comfortable. "You will stay, right?"

"Absolutely. I'm not leavin' your side," He assures me, moving my chair over to sit beside me.

I smile and squeeze his knee in silent thanks, and then fold my hands over my stomach. I wish I did not have to let go of him, but it is probably not a good idea to hold on through this.

"Ok Linka, just relax and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly," Gaia instructs.

I do as she asks, remaining conscious of my Yankees proximity to help me relax. It is almost as if I can feel him there, though we are not touching….

To be continued…

A/N: And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Wheeler's side of the story in Becks7's Co-dependents Chapter 34! Let us know what you think!