Chapter Seven – The End
Bo braced herself and knocked on the door. She had a dreadful feeling that this conversation wasn't going to be a good one.
The door opened, Lauren was standing there in her Doctors coat and Bo had a flashback to the first time they'd met. She remembered Lauren's hand ghosting over her skin, the way she'd told her she was beautiful, the spark between them that Bo had instantly felt.
Then she was snapped back to reality. "Hey Bo." Lauren seemed grim.
Bo dropped her eyes to the floor and entered the apartment.
"Hey Lo." Normally her nickname for her would make Lauren smile, but today it got no reaction.
"You wanna sit?"
"No it's okay, I'll stand, too anxious to sit." The silence between them that followed was filled with mutual heartache.
Lauren sat on the couch and Bo lingered by the chair in the living room. "So…"
"So..."
Lauren sighed and shook her head, raking her hand through her hair. "I guess we both know what's coming."
Bo's heart fluttered and that darn frog returned to her throat. "I guess we probably do."
"Look Bo, I love you –" Her voice caught, she got choked up. Bo wanted more than anything to go to her, to comfort her, but the tension in the room was too thick for her to move. It was obvious what was coming and there was no stopping this oncoming locomotive. "I love you but-"
"Wow, I love you 'but' is never something anyone wants to hear," Bo joked through her glossy eyes, steeling herself not to shed any tears.
"But I think we both know that this can't last. It's not that we don't love each other, because that's obvious but how long are we going to let this go on just because it feels good? We'll both just be hurt exponentially more in the future." Lauren's mind was spinning, the scientist in her had taken over, she was thinking only of the facts, because facts were everything to her. "You need someone that can 'keep up with you' in the short term and the long term, someone Fae. You can't sustain yourself simply feeding on me, how long would that last? We both know it's impractical and to be honest, as strong as I like to think I am, it hurts me to know you have to be with others. I know it's petty and small minded and honestly I could probably ultimately live with it but it is something that still hurts none the less. Plus, the real issue is, we both know it will kill you to see me grow old and die and there's no denying it, I will die. Could you really live with that? With us spending a lifetime together only to see me wither and die, you having to continue on living many lifetimes after that? I'd only be a blip on your radar and living my life knowing that after I'm gone, after we've shared a lifetime together you'll move one, you'll find a new lover and someone else will be touching the love of my life, creating new memories… it makes me feel so… disposable and I know that you don't feel that way about me but it's how this situation makes me feel and that can't be helped Bo, facts are facts."
Bo let out a shocked sounding laugh. "It's so surreal that you could call me the love of your life in one breath and in the next say that there's no hope for us… and for the record, I will die too one day. But I've been thinking about things too and you need to have a normal life with someone, you need to grow old with someone and have babies and live a normal life. You need to be safe and not be battling Under Fae at every turn and putting your life in danger and as much as I feel that I can protect you, I can't be there at every moment and it's only a matter of time before some Under Fae realized… what you are to me and use you as a way to get to me, I can't live with putting your life in danger…" Bo's voice got soft, "You mean too much to me."
If the room was thick with tension before, it was more like a solid cement wall of tension at this point. Bo could barely breathe.
Lauren's eyes were fully rimmed with thick tears, her throat was so choked with emotion that she couldn't speak. She simply continued to nod, not knowing what else do to with herself. She ran her hand through her hair again and cleared her throat. "Well… I guess we both agree then. The best thing for us is just a clean break. I don't know about you but I personally need space for this to work. It'll be too difficult for me otherwise."
"I agree." Bo nodded, knowing she wouldn't be able to think of all the reasons why this wouldn't work if she was near Lauren too frequently.
"Well, I'll get out of your hair but I just want to ask you one more thing, I don't want you tagging along to any more Under Fae fights."
"That sounds more like a demand than a question."
"Perceptive as always, think of it as a firm request. What do you say?"
"I say, it's sweet that you're looking out for me and I will stay out of your way where your work is concerned but I'm not going to make any promises I can't keep."
Bo shook her head, people said she was stubborn but Lauren was no different. It was part of why she lov- why she cared for her so much. "Fine, I guess that's as good as I'm going to get."
Bo didn't know what else to say, which rarely happened. She folded her arms across her chest and gave Lauren a sad smile. "Well I guess… I'll see you around Lo."
"See you around. Stay safe."
"You too."
With that, Bo walked out. She didn't have the same feeling as she did when she'd last left Lauren's place, she didn't feel like she was going to break apart or crumble, the only similar feeling she had was that she was utterly and completely numb.