A/N: I haven't said this in a while but thanks to everyone that's reading and reviewing, it's great to hear from you.

Chapter Forty – Day Twenty Nine

Something is not right. My sleep clouded brain struggles to work out what has woken me, and as has become the norm over the past few weeks, my first priority is to locate my protector. The warm breath on my neck reassures me and I am able to trace the comforting presence of his limbs as they enfold me.

One of his hands is resting on my tummy though and that leads me to make a discovery… Beneath the comforting warmth of his hand, my stomach is churning and making the most dreadful noises. Bozhe' moy! I disentangle myself as quickly as I can without disturbing him – the waterbed increasing my nausea with the slightest of movements – and rush to the bathroom.

I only just make it to the toilet in time. Kneeling in front of it and doing my best to hold back my hair, I begin to lose what I had so enjoyed earlier. The violent reaction makes the muscles of my stomach ache, and my tears flow freely. I wish I had not eaten anything, I wish I never had to eat anything again, I wish I had not eaten that blintz Boris gave me, I wish I could go back and stop any of this happening, I wish…

Before I can wish myself out of the Planeteers altogether, I feel a gentle touch on my hair and a hand carefully replaces mine holding it back. I let go gratefully, my arm is aching from holding it up for so long in one position. At the same time, I am shamed by his presence, I wish he could have slept through it… another pointless wish.

When I have a moments rest I look up at Wheeler, still embarrassed about the state I am in. I want to apologise, no one should have to deal with this… especially not just a friend, it is asking too much.

"It's ok." He says, still rubbing my back.

It is not ok though, how could I have allowed him to… My stomach interrupts my thoughts yet again… how much more can there be? Have I expelled what I ate today or what I have eaten all week?

When everything finally subsides, I sit back, still crying and sore, and not sure what to say. Wheeler hands me a glass of water and a tissue. I rinse my mouth out and then let him wash over my face with a cool flannel… we have done this so many times now, but I thought we had seen the last of it.

Our little ritual over, my sweet Yankee sits down on the floor and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me as if he can protect me from the rest of the world. His tenderness oversets me, my strength is gone as I rest in the safety of his arms. I bury my face in his chest and give way to my feelings, my sobs hot on my cheeks. "I am sorry!"

"For what?" He asks calmly and softly as he presses the damp cloth to my forehead again, helping it to cool.

I shrug. "For waking you…for begin sick…for making you watch me like this."

"I still don't get why you're apologizing. It's ok. You don't need to be sorry. I was worried when I woke up and you were gone. You should have woken me when you felt sick. I would have been here with you sooner."

I try to explain, but I am still upset and it all comes out at once. "I did not want you to know at all. I thought I was done. I thought this was over. I was feeling better."

His grip on me tightens. "I know you were. And you were doing great. Today was a rough day though. There was a lot going on. Even I'm exhausted." He presses his lips to my head and continues. "And maybe it's not even the withdrawal…maybe it was that lunch…I blame the ruuuuuuuutabaga! Whatever that thing was you ate…with all those vegetables, of course you're gonna get sick. How many times do I hafta tell ya Babe? Veggies are EVIL!"

He can be silly sometimes, of course there was nothing wrong with the food, it was lovely… but I appreciate his silliness, it is so typical of him… it puts my world back into focus. I chuckle and wipe away my tears.

"That's my girl…keep laughing," He dabs my eyes with his flannel, I must look a mess!

Then he leans over to kiss the back of my neck, whether because he likes it or because he knows I do, I am never sure. He also starts to rub my tummy as if he can make it better. He cannot, but it feels nice anyway so I relax back and snuggle into him. "Thank you."

"Feeling better?" He asks.

Relatively, though my stomach muscles still feel as if I have run a marathon. "Da."

"Do you wanna stay here a little longer?" His lips brush against my neck as he speaks.

Actually I do not feel like ever getting up again, but all I say is. "Da,"

I manoeuvre myself so that I am facing him, my legs and arms wrapped around him and my face buried in the crook of his neck. I press a kiss there… I am not trying to start anything, my body aches from retching and my mouth still tastes a little funny, the last thing I am feeling is romantic. I need the closeness though, he is always affectionate and right now I am doing everything I can to encourage that… his warmth keeps my nightmares away.

Wheeler is cradling me against him, one hand on the back of my neck, the other making patterns on my back. I am still wearing more than one layer and I have noticed before, that he does not seem to like there being so much between us, so I am not surprised when his hand slips up inside my sweatshirt.

The circles he is making on my back are very soothing so when he stops abruptly I try to pull back to ask him what the matter is. He stops me, pulling me back against him and then lifting me as he stands.

I tighten my legs around his waist automatically, but there is no real need, I know he would not drop me. He lays me down on the bed and I release him to slip my feet under the covers, though I am briefly tempted to tighten my grip and pull him down with me, if I was not so tired… Still, he follows me in and takes me back in his arms.

It feels cosy for a few minutes but… "Wheeler?"

"Yeah?" He responds sleepily.

"I am hot."

That seems to wake him and he lets go. "Oh…uh…sorry."

I sit up and take off my sweatshirt, dropping it on the floor – okay so Wheeler is a bad influence – then I lay back down and pull his arm around me, expecting him to cuddle into my back.

He does not move though, he just lays there. "Are you ok Yankee? You seem tense?"

"No, uh…I mean yeah…I mean…No…I'm not tense…yeah, I'm ok. I'm just…worried about you, that's all." That seems a little odd to me, he was not that concerned earlier… at least he is beginning to relax.

I try to reassure him anyway. "I am fine. As long as you are with me, I can get through anything."

My assertion must have worked since he gives me his other arm to lay on. "I'm here."

I am in fact, very aware of that, especially when he puts his leg over mine and uses that and his arm to pull me closer. I wish we could stay like this forever… another hopeless wish?

"I know." I tell him, rubbing my cheek against his arm and trailing my finger down it, exploring him and memorising the way it feels, to help fill all the lonely nights I know will come, when he is not here with me. I thread my fingers through his, binding us together as if I can prevent our parting. I wished earlier that I could go back and stop any of this from happening, but I would not give up these moments for anything. No amount of pain will ever make me regret finding out how good a friend I have. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," He squeezes my hand and kisses the back of my neck. "Sweet dreams, Sweetness."

I do not fear the nightmares while he is with me, he keeps them away, and fills my dreams with laughter… and love. Even though they are just dreams, they make me happy and I say with certainty. "They will be, Yankee moy."

I have a Yankee blanket. It is wrapped all around me, keeping me warm and safe, I could stay like this forever. I turn my head to press my lips into the arm I am using as a pillow and he nuzzles my neck in response, still fast asleep.

While I lay there, I take the time to admire my charm bracelet. It is the most thoughtful gift I have ever been given. I know Wheeler probably would not believe that, he seems to think I am just being nice if I compliment him. As a child though, my family gave me what could be easily obtained… and afforded, and that was normally something practical, and I was grateful for whatever they gave me. My Yankee wanted to do something special for me though, and that alone makes it special.

I am in no hurry to wake him but when I feel him stir, I rub his arm and say. "I know you are awake, Yankee,"

His lips are warm and soft against my neck and it tickles as he replies. "No I'm not, this feels too nice to be real…so it must be a dream."

Since he illustrates his point by kissing my shoulder several times before moving up to my neck, I am having a hard time disagreeing. The corners of my mouth turn up into a huge grin and I find myself hoping he will not stop, that this will be the time he forgets himself and make his way round to claim my lips… but nyet, the more he comes to, the more conscious of the situation he becomes.

"Sorry, I must be crushing you," He tries to move away but I catch him just in time and hold him firmly in place.

"Nyet, it is fine. I like it…umm, you are warm." And… I like it.

He has his mouth and nose buried in my neck again, I really love how that feels! "Ok, but how 'bout if I keep you warm without crushing you?"

He suddenly grips me tightly and rolls back so that for a moment I am in the air and out of control, like a mini ride. I squeal… so girly of me but I cannot help it, and then I fall on top of him in a fit of giggles. I snuggle into him, nuzzling my face in his neck as he did with me, and he leans down to do the same.

My laughter begins again when he starts to tickle me, he seems to know just where I am most susceptible, but we are rocking the bed too much... and on a water bed, I am in danger of becoming seasick. "Stop!" I grab his hands from my sides and put them back around me. "Unless you want me to throw up again, only this time, on you!"

"No, I don't want that…but now that you mention it…I am kinda hungry."

"Me talking about being sick makes you hungry? You are a strange man, Yankee!" I pull back to look at him and playfully poke my tongue out.

"No, I don't mean that…I mean…do you think you could handle breakfast? Maybe some tea and crumpets?" He says that last with a strange accent, I am guessing it is supposed to be English, based on what he said.

No thank you! "Do you even know what a crumpet is Yankee?"

"Nope." I did not think so.

"You would not like them," I tell him and return to my former position, saying into his neck. "I do not."

He is not convinced. "Well then in that case, I probably will like them! We have completely different taste when it comes to food!"

"Nyet, trust me. I know you would not like them. They are not sweet enough for you." He deserves that I let him try them, but I was hoping to swipe some of his breakfast – it always tastes better when it is someone else's – and the thought of tea and crumpets for breakfast is making me queasy.

He gives in at last. "I'll take your word for it, I think I'll have blueberry pancakes and bacon, and scrambled eggs."

"I think I will have some of your eggs and possibly a few bites of your pancakes," I inform him as I look up to see the effect of my words.

He protests but I know he is just joking. "Linka, you know I'd do anything for you…but sharing my food? I gotta draw the line somewhere!"

Playing along, I make my voice as pitiful as I can and rub my nose against his neck. "So you will let me starve?"

"Well, no…I can't in good conscience do that. I'll just order extra."

Practical if not very chivalrous, but I do not mind, he is a nightmare when he is hungry. "I knew you would not let me down, Yankee," I smile at him and give him a hug, pressing my cheek to his… but it is scratchy so I pull away again.

"You need to shave." I tell him, running my fingers around his jaw line.

"Well, I have to get up in order to do that, and you're making that pretty difficult…plus I don't really want to."

I do not really want him to get up either, but I want to cuddle and his stubble is uncomfortable, and besides, I am getting hungry. I roll off him and sit up. "There you go. You are free now. Get up, shave, and order breakfast…then hurry up and get back here to keep me warm!"

"Yes ma'am!" He jumps out of bed, creating a small wave, and gives me a silly salute. I laugh and shake my head, but if I am honest, he looks adorable standing there in nothing but his boxers, still sleepy and with his hair a complete mess.

I lay back down and listen to the muffled movements in the bathroom and then Wheeler's voice as he calls room service. Just for while I pretend that we are on our honeymoon… I know, but I cannot help it… we are in a fancy hotel in a foreign city and I am waiting for Wheeler to return to our large double bed, what am I supposed to be thinking of?

He hangs up the phone and I hear him unlock the door. In my mind he slips back into bed behind me, causing little ripples in the watery mattress as he moves closer. Then of course his lips will find that little spot on the back of my neck and his arms will pull me to him… and some where along the line we will forget all about room service.

I know I was just daydreaming but I still was not expecting the minor tidal wave as he leaps onto the bed behind me. I thought for a moment I was going to be thrown onto the floor, and I swear if that had happened he would have been sleeping alone for a very long time! As it happens, the water bounces off the bed frame and throws me back into his arms, which he clearly finds funny.

I am just irritated, though whether it is with his behaviour or the fact that he spoiled my daydream, I am not sure. "WHEELER! You really are trying to make me sick are you not?"

"Yeah, the less you eat, the more for me!" He is feeling playful… fine!

I grab one of the pillows and try to smother him with it, knowing he can get out easily of course, I am nowhere near back to full strength yet.

It goes dark as he pulls the covers up over our heads, and then all of a sudden he is on top of me, pinning me down. He claims the pillow and hits me with it in retaliation, while I try my best not to laugh.

"I thought you wanted me to keep you warm?" He complains with mock indignation. "That's not going to work if you kill me. My cold, clammy body will be wrapped around you…and then I'll haunt you!" He emphasises it by kissing my nose.

"You will not have a need to keep me warm if you crush me to death!" I counter, lifting myself so that I can return his kiss.

"Good point." He rolls off me but to my satisfaction, does not let me go.

Holding me close, with his chin tucked over my head, he rubs his hands up and down my back, presumably to warm me up. I was not really cold, but it is definitely having an effect. Trying to distract myself, I take a closer look at his healing wound, gently tracing it with my finger and making invisible rings around it.

Wheeler takes me by surprise by whispering into my hair. "Hey, that tickles."

"Sorry," I can feel the blush rising to my cheeks, why did I think he would not notice?

"Don't be. I didn't mean for you to stop. It felt good. It's itchy."

Well that is something at least. "Good. That means it is healing. Do not scratch it though. Fingernails harbour all kinds of bacteria."

"Thanks Dr. Linka…I won't have to scratch it if you keep doing what you were doing though," He squeezes me encouragingly, I guess he really did like it.

Now I have been recalled to my senses though, "Nyet, I should not have been touching it either."

"You weren't scratching it." He says, and I cave.

I am very careful to keep my nails from scratching him as I resume tracing a circle around the knife wound. At the same time, I am very aware of the skin I am touching. It is firm and smooth and I wish I had the courage to continue my exploration over the rest of his chest, to feel the shapes of his well-defined muscles, instead of trying to soothe this one vulnerable patch. If only kissing it better really worked!

He does not stir as I move to bring my lips to the tender skin at the edge of the wound. His eyes are closed so maybe he is falling asleep, I will try not to disturb him. I kiss him lightly around the edges, as he asked me to before. It does not look like much now but it is a constant reminder of how close I came to losing him… does he understand what that would have done to me? Even before all this, I just cannot imagine my life without Wheeler in it anymore, I cannot bear the thought of the being on Hope Island without him. It would have ended all our lives as Planeteers and that is what everyone would have thought I missed. No one would have suspected after my behaviour towards him, that losing him could effect me very deeply, but just the though of it… a single tear escapes me, trickling down my nose to fall on his chest.

"Stop it," His voice is quiet and serious, he is so rarely serious, it unnerves me.

"Sorry…yesterday…last night…you wanted me to. I thought you liked it." My cheeks are burning again.

"I do…very much. But that's not what I meant. I meant stop going to that dark place your thoughts are taking you to." He wipes away my tears, which are tumbling down my cheeks in multiples now.

"I'm ok. " He kisses my forehead.

"I'm alive." He kisses my nose.

"I'm here." He kisses my mouth. This time though, he stays there, waiting for me to respond. I do so, closing my eyes and pressing my lips against his… it seems at once to last forever and not nearly long enough.

"Ok?" He asks.

Not really. "Ok."

"Now, say it like you mean it." He squeezes me, bringing me back to reality.

I smile at him and look deeply into his eyes so that he can see that I am not lying. "Ooookaaaaaay!"

"Good." That settled, he pulls me back into our former position and kisses my head.

I would be lying if I said that I was not a little disappointed that that kiss, that moment, ended so quickly, but it is for the best. I do not mean to play games with his feelings and as long as it is only what he considers to be comforting, he is in no danger. It does not matter what it does to me.

This is nice though, just laying here in his arms. The blankets are still over our heads so it is like we are in our own little world, just the two of us.

The knock on the door wakes me out of a light doze and Wheeler too I guess, since he jumps with me. The water bed exaggerates our movement and causes me start giggling.

Wheeler laughs too but then calls out. "IT'S UNLOCKED, COME ON IN!"

I wonder if I should have allowed this, I know it is only our breakfast but it could be very embarrassing to be caught like this by the wrong person.

"IF YOU CAN BRING IT INTO THE BEDROOM, THAT'D BE GREAT. MY WALLET IS…umm…where'd I put it?" That last was directed quietly at me, and contrary to my previous thoughts, I am hoping the attendant heard it and my whispered reply.

"Is it in your jeans? Probably on the floor by the hot tub," Because it makes us sound like a couple, I know that is stupid but I like feeling like this, even if it is only make believe.

"Oh, right… "IN THE BACK POCKET OF MY JEANS, ON THE FLOOR BY THE HOT TUB! TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT, JUST HURRY UP AND LEAVE!"

That is going too far though. "Wheeler!"

I give him a light smack on his chest, still careful of his wound, but he just grins at me like he does not know what he just implied.

"Actually, your jeans are laying at the bottom of the bed."

Bozhe 'moy! That is not a waiter!

"GI?" Wheeler sounds as shocked as I am, and he pops his head out from under the covers to have a look.

"Uh, I had a question for Linka…umm, a message from Kwame. I thought this was her room." Gi sounds embarrassed and that seems to chase my own embarrassment away. Actually I think it is funny… my Yankee must be rubbing off on me.

"It is," I pull the covers down so that I can see out too, and try not to imagine the picture we must present.

She is embarrassed, but she should not be, she knew we have been sharing… maybe it is actually seeing us in bed together. "Oh…uh, sorry…I…you said to come in so…I…did."

"I thought you were room service," Wheeler says, and as if to prove his honesty, there is another knock on the door.

"I'll get that." Wheeler says quickly, scrambling out of bed.

I do not think I have ever seen him so embarrassed before, as Gi openly admires his semi-naked form. I am just glad he is not wearing those Gorilla boxers, then he would really have something to be embarrassed about! As it is, I think she is impressed. All the same, he grabs his jeans and runs from the room.

Gi and I watch him go and then look back at each other. For a moment we are silent, then we both start giggling helplessly… it feels good.

"Oh Linka, I wish I had a camera, did you see his face?" my Asian friend gasps.

I nod, but I reply teasingly. "Da, but I am surprised you did, that did not seem to be where you were looking."

I can never get the better of Gi though. "Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

"Nyet of course not!" My cheeks are flushed though… there might have been just a little bit of truth in that. "Gi you know it is not what it looked like."

Gi's eyes are gleaming with mischief. "What do you think it looked like?"

I roll my eyes. Gi does know, she is just being difficult because she loves to tease. She also likes secrets and gossip so she will be reminding me of this for months to come. "You said you had a message for me?"

She nods. "He only wanted to know what time you wanted to leave and whether we were going back to Eden… we were treated to all this because of you after all, it's only fair that you make the call."

I smile at her, grateful for their thoughtfulness. "We will be ready to leave after breakfast and I think I saw everything yesterday, though I am happy to go back if there is more any you guys want to see… and I would like to say goodbye to my friends before we leave."

"Ok." Wheeler comes back in with our food order just then and Gi makes a surprisingly tactful exit. "I'll let you two get back to enjoying your 'breakfast in bed'."

Well nearly, she is giggling again and she winks at me before making a parting shot at my Yankee. "I hope you didn't put your jeans back on, on my account Wheeler!"

My brief enjoyment of Gi's interruption is definitely at an end… it has completely ruined the mood and Wheeler does not even get back into bed, he just sits next to me on top of the covers. This is not right, it was supposed to be cosy and fun and now it is… breakfast.

When I sat up he put the tray over my lap, I thought he would take it back once he was settled but he does not. "Do not put this whole thing in front of me!"

I hand it back to him. "This is your breakfast. I just want a few bites." And I am not sure I even want that anymore. I know I am being petulant but he could at least make an effort!

He takes the tray in silence and puts it over his lap, staring at his food as if he has lost his appetite too. After a while he says. "Sorry."

That makes me feel guilty, and by extension even more irritable. "NOW what are you sorry for Yankee? You are always sorry for something and I keep telling you to STOP apologizing."

"Gi…I didn't know it was her…" he begins.

"I know you did not…which is why you do not need to apologize. I told her it was not what it looked like."

"And she believed you?" He exclaims, clearly surprised.

"Nyet, of course not!" I snort. "It is Gi! She believes what she wants to believe."

And again he says, "Sorry."

"Bozhe moy Yankee. If you apologize one more time…I'll…"

He sticks a fork full of eggs up to my mouth to shut me up. "You'll what?"

I take the bite, but finish my sentence anyway… it is not as if Wheeler is going to correct my manners. "I will give you something to be sorry about!"

That little taste has made my stomach rumble, I take his fork from him and cut a little piece of the American style pancake… mmm delicious… so I take a few more.

"Don't over do it, Babe," He says as he watches.

I nod in agreement, but after last night, I am very empty. "Da, I know. I am just very hungry."

By way of a peace offering, I cut another forkful and hold it up to his lips. As he takes it in his mouth though, the sticky syrup the pancakes are covered with drips down onto his chest. "Oops, sorry."

I quickly wipe away the spill with my index finger, and not wanting to get up, I just stick it in my mouth and suck the sweet substance off…

"That's ok. So uh, Gi said she was here because Kwame had a question for you?" Wheeler is looking at me oddly and quickly changes the subject… I wonder what that was about.

I repeat some of my conversation with Gi, ending with, "…I just want to quickly stop by and say goodbye to everyone."

"You mean say goodbye to Stuuuuuart?" he mocks.

"To everyone." I roll my eyes, he can be very provoking sometimes, can he really still be jealous?

It does not take us long to finish our meal and get ready to leave. I am still sorry that we were interrupted, I would not have minded spending a little longer cuddled up in our nice big bed.

The others come with me to thank the Eden Project sponsors, which pleases me… that is, until Stuart approaches us. He was only going to hug me, that is all, but Wheeler is acting like a guard dog and bars his way. Okay, so he is pretending that he wants to shake Stuart's hand but I am not fooled, I can only hope my friend is.

"Nice meeting ya, Stu," Wheeler says, his voice cold and very unlike him. "Cool place you got here."

"We couldn't have done it without Linka." Stuart holds his hand out to me too.

Accepting the handshake I reply. "Thank you for saying so, but my role was minor."

"And she's humble too," I just know that is going to get a reaction from Wheeler, and I am right.

"Yeah, she's amazing. Brains and beauty, but we've got to get back to saving the world. Enjoy your little make believe perfect world. Have a nice life Stu!"

He walks away, putting his arm around my shoulders and pressing his lips to the side of my head, possessively. "Let's get outta here." I cannot tell you how angry I am with him, how can Wheeler be so… rude!

The only reason I do not slap him or push him away is that I am so embarrassed that I want to get away as soon as I can. Instead, I glare at him with as much venom as one look can manage.

"What?" He asks as if he does not know!

"Do not play innocent! You know what! That was rude. I told you, Stuart is a nice guy, but I am not interested. There was no need to be rude. You make yourself look bad."

He is defiant, but he sounds sulky too. "As if I care what he thinks!"

"What about what I think?" I reply, trying hard to reign in my temper.

"Of course I care what you think!" At least that awful cockiness is gone now.

I need him to understand, not just accept it or apologise because I am mad at him. "Well, I think that right now, Stuart is thinking 'what is a nice girl like her doing with a jerk like him,' and that makes me look bad."

He does not argue so I continue, trying not to get upset by my own words. "And it is not just his 'little make believe perfect world.' I had a part in this too…and if you think so little of it…"

He stops walking forward and moves in front of me, resting his hands on my shoulders. "Of course I don't really think that. This is amazing…what you've done here is incredible…I was just trying to get a dig in at Stuart… trying to make myself look better…but I ended up making myself look worse. You're right. I'm sorry. I was a jerk AND an idiot. Do you want me to go back and apologize to Stuart?"

"Nyet. I want to go home." I do not really believe him… oh I know that he is sorry for making a fool of himself and embarrassing me, he never really means to hurt me… but the work that has been done here, that he does not really value. I told him that it is something special and he accepted that, all the things he said were just to make me feel good because that is what he does… it is his way of being a good friend, but his good opinion would have meant more.

"You can think about how you are going to make it up to me on the flight home." I step around him and start walking in the direction of the Geo-cruiser, leaving him and the others behind.

I do not doubt that he will think of something to make me feel better… he always does… I hope he can make me forget too.

To be continued…

A/N: And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Wheeler's side of the story in Becks7's Co-dependents Chapter 40! Let us know what you think!