Chapter Forty One – Day Thirty Four
I am far past the point of trying to hide the effect he is having on me. Wheeler's hands have a magical touch and as he presses into me I gasp with pleasure, I am completely relaxed and at his mercy.
"Wheeeeeelerrrrrr?" I complain as he momentarily pulls back… he does it deliberately to tease me!
Straddling my hips as he is, he still leans down to whisper in my ear. "Say it."
"Do not stop." I reply obediently, knowing my compliance will be worth it.
I am not disappointed as he leans his weight into me and resumes his ministrations.
"Planeteers, to the Crystal Chamber," Gaia's voice is jarring in my present state.
Wheeler is obviously frustrated as well but he seems inclined to obey the summons anyway, and I cannot help protesting. "Nyet! Finish?"
Despite my practically begging, he rises up off of me to stand beside the bed. I feel his absence very keenly and sit up, drawing my knees up to my chin and wrapping my arms around them for comfort.
He holds his hand out to me. "Sorry Babe…the rest of your massage will have to wait. We gotta go see what Gaia wants."
"You mean you have to go see what she wants. I think I will just stay here in bed." I know I am being petulant but the massages I ended up demanding from Wheeler as 'punishment' for his behaviour at the Eden Project are the highlight of my day, and since I am not included in the Planeteer Alerts, it just increases my resentment that we have been disturbed.
The truth is, I needed to pick something because he really did feel bad about the business with Stuart, there had to be something that would make things okay again… at least on the surface. Of course it is not much of a punishment, Wheeler loves these little sessions as much as I do… well nearly as much. And actually, despite my progress I still genuinely need the massage after our morning exercises.
I feel like I am beginning to wake up from a bad dream. My Yankee got me through that dream, he was the one bright spark… my anchor in the storm. He is wonderful, and kind and caring and everything I could want… but I think I made him out to be just a little more perfect than anyone has a right to be. I needed so badly to be loved and I am ashamed now to think how easily I could have ended up ruining our friendship by pursuing something neither of us are ready for… or maybe even suited for.
"Stop pouting…it's unbecoming…if you come to the Crystal Chamber, at least it shows that you're showing an interest…and maybe it'll be a mission that you can come on…now get your ass in gear Planeteer!" He admonishes me, sweeping me off my feet, literally. "I'll carry you if I have to."
"Put me down!" I demand, squirming in his grasp and kicking my legs to make it harder for him to keep hold of me.
It does not disturb him very much, he spins me round playfully before finally putting me down, and then gives me a playful shove out of the door.
I am taking my time getting to the Crystal Chamber, not looking forward to another scene, so Wheeler is still poking my back and pushing me along. In fact he is still doing it as we enter and he addresses Gaia, but I am not expecting it this time and trip.
He grabs hold of me so that I do not fall and laughs. "Watch yourself clumsy!"
I take a swipe at his chest but I am not angry, I am laughing with him.
Gaia comments on how much better I look and then to my delight, asks me if I feel well enough to go on a mission. I was feeling better to start with, but now I am ready for anything!
Wheeler cannot help putting his arm around me… I know he is pleased for me and it is not that I mind, but I need the others to see me as an equal again and if he keeps doing that it will just remind them that I have been sick. I gently but firmly push him away and step towards the Planet Vision.
The screen shows a whale that Gaia explains has become disorientated. He is caught in some shark netting off the coast of Australia, which is used to keep the sharks away from the swimmers at the beaches. "…Rescuers have lost track of him, but I have picked him up. He's 120 miles south of where they last saw him. He's migrating, as his natural instinct is instructing him to, but unless that netting is removed, he will continue to struggle to the point of exhaustion and drown."
"Is it a fishing net?" Wheeler asks. Does he never listen? Gaia just explained all that! He is not stupid, why does he have to act as if he is?
As usual I fill in the blanks for him and then add. "We must go quickly and get him free!"
The others of course agree with me and we head to the Eco-Sub without delay. I think Wheeler is quieter than normal but I am still irritated with him. Does he not know how important this is to me?
I am feeling much better about everything now we are underway. Gi is piloting and Kwame, Ma-Ti and I are working out a plan… just like old times.
It was not fair of me to take out my insecurities on Wheeler, he really did not do anything to deserve it, it was just my reaction to being allowed back on missions, so, once Kwame and Ma-Ti opt for a snooze, I move back to where my Yankee is sitting.
He is staring into space. "Earth to Wheeler!"
I wave my hand in front of his face and he almost snaps in return. "What?"
Sitting down on his knee and explaining that it will take some time before we get to our destination, I suggest he finishes my massage while we have time to spare. This is my way of trying to smooth things over… not that I do not want him to continue, I am already anticipating how good it will feel.
"Funny…I was just thinking that you seemed fine." I can tell from his tone that he is not happy.
"But before, we were not done." I say coaxingly. "You always finish with my neck."
"You were limber enough to get away from me in the Crystal Chamber…you're fine. Besides, I think Kwame and Ma-Ti have the right idea…I'm gonna get some sleep so we can take on the 'Whale vs. fishing net mission.' Why don't you go keep Gi company?" Is he really just being childish or…
"Do you not want me on this mission?" He is the one that has being telling me that I am ready… "It is not a hard mission. There are no eco-villains…just saving a life. I can handle this."
"I know. You're ready. All better…back to normal…now if you don't mind…I'd like some sleep," He lifts me off his lap and turns away, closing his eyes.
Was I supposed to hide behind him? Cling to his hand and beg his protection? That is not me! If I was doing any of those things the last place I should be is on an alert! What is wrong with him? I thought he wanted me to get better…
"Are you excited to be back on missions?" Gi asks as I take the co-pilots seat. At least everything with Gi is back to normal, I am lucky she forgave me.
Trying not to let the Yankee's attitude get to me, I force a cheerful expression. "Da. It is just one more step closer to everything being back to the way it was before."
"But you don't want everything to go back do you?" Gi asks, obviously getting at something.
I have a feeling I know where she is going with this, and I am not sure I want to have that conversation right now. "What do you mean?"
"Wheeler. You and he have really gotten close." I was right! Oh well I guess I cannot avoid it forever.
Taking a quick glance to make sure that he is sleeping, I reply. "Da, but it is not like that… he has been nothing but a good friend. There is nothing other than friendship there."
I can feel the emptiness grow in the pit of my stomach as I say the words. It is not strictly true, at least not on my side… there have been moments, times when I thought… maybe, maybe we could make it work.
"And you're ok with that?" Gi asks, she would have made a good psychiatrist!
"Da…why would I not be?" I respond defiantly.
Counsellor Gi has an explanation ready though. "No reason…I just thought maybe you two would take this opportunity…this new found closeness to build on what was already there."
What can I say but the truth? "Wheeler is determined to not take advantage of the situation… and I would never use a friend's kindness and mistake that for something more. We are just friends. Very good friends. I could not have gotten through this without him."
Without him, I would hate myself and be convinced that everyone else hates me too and I would have found a substitute for the Bliss, and become a real addict with no chance of breaking free… no that is wrong, I would not even be alive right now if it were not for him.
There is silence for a while as we both sit lost in our own thoughts. At last Gi says. "We would have helped you too… we wanted to help…"
"I know!" I hasten to assure her. And I do know that, now that I am thinking rationally again. "I… it is just different with Wheeler… he… understands. At least in part." I swallow. "I have put him through a lot."
Gi is frowning slightly. "So Wheeler, a guy, whose sensitivity not to mention higher brain functions, is normally on par with a five year old… can connect with you better than your best friend?"
Maybe she has not forgiven me after all. "Nyet Gi… it is different…" She turns her head long enough to raise an eyebrow. "I cannot explain, I just react to him differently."
"Like a special bond or something?" She says it casually but I hear the slyness in her voice.
I fold my arms across my chest and lean back in the chair. "I know what you are up to."
She laughs. "Oh come on Linka, won't you even consider it?"
"I have." I say sadly.
"Wheeler is one of the best people I have ever met." The best, but I am being diplomatic. "But we are very different and I do not think we are compatible romantically. As friends it is fine and to be honest I think Wheeler prefers it that way too, he likes to flirt but I do not think he really wants me to respond, it would complicate things and eventually ruin them."
And he is the one that kept pulling away…
I swallow and continue. "I would be devastated if I ever lost his friendship and da, it is more than friendship in a way, just not in the way you mean. I need things to go back to normal. I need to know that I am really myself again."
She gives me a sad, half defeated look but thankfully does not pursue it any further, at least for now.
There is no doubt when we have arrived, the poor trapped creature is thrashing about creating waves. His tail, mouth and one of his fins are all tangled up in the net.
Kwame directs Gi to take us up to the surface so that Ma-Ti can try his power… if he can calm him, we can help.
We change into our wetsuits while Kwame outlines the rest of his plan. I am a little nervous about the fact that my Yankee is going to be the one cutting the net… with Kwame that is… am I ready to see him in danger?
Our African friend is trying to keep the rest of us safe as usual, Gi is on look out duty and I am to do clean up. Considering this is my first mission back, I cannot complain… but it is not going to stop me worrying.
And it seems that I have good reason.
"WHEELER!" We cry as one as that irresponsible idiot jumps into the water and heads straight for the whale.
What is he playing at? Ma-Ti has not calmed yet the frightened whale, he could get himself killed!
"WHEELER, ARE YOU INSANE?" Gi yells. "THAT ANIMAL IS SCARED AND CONFUSED! HE COULD KNOCK YOU OUT WITH ONE WHACK OF HIS FIN OR KILL YOU WITH A FLICK OF HIS TAIL!"
I add my voice to Gi's. "WHEELER GET OUT OF THERE!"
"Ma-Ti, do something!" Kwame orders.
Our young colleague does his job a little too well, the Whale calms down but now he is not moving, he starts to sink… whales breath air, if he cannot swim, he will drown!
I look around desperately for some way to help and find myself exclaiming in surprise. "Gi look! There are more whales."
As we all watch in amazement, the new arrivals help their trapped fellow to the surface.
Thankfully Wheeler got out of the way in time and now he is beginning to cut away the harmful net… which means it is my turn.
I raise my ring hand and hesitate… what if it does not work? After everything I have been through, what if I was wrong and my body is still too polluted?
Kwame's hand on my shoulder makes me jump but when I turn my head to look at him he does not say anything, he just smiles and nods his head.
I return the smile gratefully and turn my attention back to where Wheeler is loosening the net. "Wind!"
It is working! My eyes fill with tears of relief but I do not break my concentration, this is just too important, my feelings can wait.
Kwame cannot go out to help Wheeler, as he planned to, it is just too dangerous. The whales are nervous, and while they are peaceful and intelligent animals, who knows what they will do if they are scared?
My stomach is turning over and it is not helped by the warning Gi calls to my Yankee as he moves on to try to free the pectoral fin. "…What they're doing…that's a threat. It means they know you're there and they're watching you."
"I thought they just ate small fish!" He calls back, surprising me with his knowledge, I never know when he is paying attention.
"Well, no offence Wheeler, but compared to them, you ARE small!" Gi retorts. I am not going to argue, they are both right… the whales will not try to eat him but if he alarms them they could still do a lot of damage.
Wheeler is not giving up of course. "I'm going to try for the netting around his fin."
"Kwame, go help him!" I order. The quicker we get this done, the sooner Wheeler will be back here… with me.
"NO!" Ma-Ti contradicts me. "It is too dangerous. I cannot keep him calm. Wheeler should not be in there either."
Bozhe' moy! What will I do if something happens to him? "WHEELER GET OUT OF THERE YOU DAMN YANKEE…COWBOY!"
I sound angry, but mostly I am scared, and again I have reason to be. Just as Wheeler makes a move towards the netting, the whale rolls and hits him with its fin, batting him aside like a rag doll.
"WHEELER!" I scream, and dive in after him.
There was no conscious thought involved, just instinct, but now the others are calling for me too and I have no intention of listening to them. I have to get to my idiot Yankee! As I get closer, I see that he has become entangled with the netting… it has probably saved his life but if I do not get him free soon, it will be the death of him.
Trying to get close to the whale is not easy, the water is very choppy close to the frightened mammal and I am still not up to full strength. Just when I am beginning to think that I am going to be too late, the whale shifts again and I am suddenly thrown against its side. I cry out as I am swept under the waves, and come up coughing out water.
I am not strong enough! I should not be doing this… but Jason needs me, he has been so strong for me, I can do the same for him!
Pulling myself along the whale's side, I finally reach Wheeler. One wrong move by the trapped animal and we will both go under. Keep him steady Ma-Ti! I can feel my limbs weakening… they are beginning to tremble from the extra exertion… I need to get my foolish friend free now!
Entwining my legs with his to give me balance, I reach up towards his ring hand. A wave hits us and I have to hold on tightly. Pressing my face to his neck, I let out a sob.
"Hold on Jason, please." I whisper as I renew my attempts to reach his ring.
It seems like an eternity and then… "Got it!"
I quickly slip the fire ring onto my middle finger so that it nestles next to mine… I can do this, I am the only one that can.
Concentrating hard and aiming so that I will cut only the netting if I miss, I point my hand and say. "Fire."
It sounds strange on my lips, I am so used to hearing it said in an American accent… and it feels different to how my ring feels when the power is released… but it feels right too… as if I have tapped another part of myself. Is this how my Yankee felt when he used my ring?
Whatever the reason, it is working and once Wheeler is free, so is our friend the whale… now if I can just get us back to the others…
Clearing the net out of our path with my own power, nearly exhausted me completely, I think I am keeping going from determination alone.
Wheeler is still unconscious so it is up to me to get us back to the others.
I am already muttering curses in my native language by the time Kwame and Ma-Ti take him from my arms. If it were not for Gi I would not have been able to climb up onto the sub at all and as it is, my ascent is anything but dignified, but still I thank her only briefly, so that I can get back to Wheeler.
I replace Ma-Ti who is trying to support our fire planeteer, and breathe a sigh of relief… he is awake! He is going to be ok. I brush his hair away from his face as I continue to scold him. "What am I going to do with you Yankee? You crazy durak… what possessed you to go out there on your own? Do you not know that…"
He is not paying any attention, the only effect my words have on him is to make him give me that goofy grin of his, just before he interrupts me. "You care?"
"What?" It just does not fit what I was saying.
"You saved me…you care." He reiterates.
Where has he been? "Of course I care you idiot! If anyone is going to kill you, it will be me! Not some whale!"
"The whale! It's around his fin." He says suddenly.
Okay, maybe he is more hurt than I realised. I hasten to reassure him, unconsciously gripping him a little tighter as I explain what happened. I finish my story by slipping his ring back onto his finger. "Here."
He smiles up at me, seemingly content to stay where he is and I am finding it very hard to not just smile back. Thankfully, since I'm still trying to be stern with Wheeler, Kwame recalls our attention.
Carefully releasing Wheeler with my ring arm, while still supporting him with the other, I continue to clear away the net, as our African friend asked. There is no trepidation now. I am still weak and I will probably need a lot of rest after this, but I know I can do it.
"Oh no!" Gi cries suddenly. "He's sinking!"
I turn my attention back to the whale and ask. "But he is free! Why is he sinking?"
"Maybe the stress was too much," Gi responds.
Ma-Ti uses his power and calls the other whales to help our injured friend to the surface. "Swim my friend…you are free now. Go be with your friends,"
"He is swimming!" Kwame announces. "Great job everyone."
It was a great job despite a certain amount of recklessness, and I do not just mean on Wheeler's side… my own behaviour is only now beginning to sink in. I will deal with that later though… I am too happy to worry about it yet… I am part of the team again.
Kwame and Ma-Ti come over to help Wheeler down into the sub and I want to object… I will help him… but that is not logical. Now that my mind is working again, I cannot let my emotions overrule it.
"Let's go home…unless you think Wheeler needs to see a doctor?" Gi asks me as we follow the others through the hatch, and I have to stop myself from grinning. They are asking my opinion again… and about Wheeler, because I must know what is best for him just as he always knows what is best for me.
"He probably should. He lost consciousness and probably has a concussion." I say confidently. "He should have a CT scan to make sure there is no more serious injury…perhaps they can check for a brain in there as well!"
He overhears, as I had intended he should. "Hey!"
"Do not argue Yankee. You know what you did was stupid." I try to keep my voice neutral, lecturing like I used to… he needs to know his behaviour is not acceptable.
And as usual, he has an argument for everything. "But you saved me."
I cannot stay mad at him. I have never been able to, especially when he needs looking after. "I did not have a choice…you still owe me a massage!"
I move over to him and unzip his wetsuit, pulling it down over his shoulders. At the back of my mind a small voice makes a few suggestions as to what this must look like to the others, but I have more immediate concerns. "Bozhe 'moy, your stab wound is bleeding…AGAIN. I really wish you would stop over exerting yourself and let this thing heal!"
Despite my annoyance, I know the wound is not life threatening anymore. It is mostly healed in fact. It is that it highlights just how reckless Wheeler can be, that is affecting me… I am afraid of losing him. I do not like feeling this way, so… so dependant. I do not like knowing that something he does could change my whole life and I have no way to control it.
After what the Bliss did to me, I really need to take charge of my life again…
I have just finished bandaging him when we reach the shore... It is amazing how many first aid supplies we get through and I am pretty sure that the majority of it is used for Wheeler, or Ma-Ti when he has been somewhere with Wheeler.
There are journalists waiting for us when we disembark, and I am not sorry that we cannot stay to talk to them. The others can handle the interviews, while Wheeler and I get transport to the nearest hospital.
To be continued…
A/N: And don't forget, to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Wheeler's side of the story in Becks7's Co-dependents Chapter 41! Let us know what you think!