A/N: This is Brody's POV to Sideways and Upside Down.

A/N II: I blame Child of Loki for this and her story Intimate'. Here's some aftermath for you, friend!

Look at me

Meredith Brody looked down at her unconscious partner and sighed. It's been nearly two days since she has seen those ridiculously gorgeous deep blue eyes of his and she's starting to worry.

Two days ago her partner took several bullets in effort to save Agent Sonja Percy's life after her cover had been blown. Luckily for Sonja, Chris's efforts were not in vain.

Brody however, can't help but feel a bit of contempt for the woman. The fact that the agent chose to willingly step out into the line of fire when she knew they were outnumbered had nearly cost Chris his life and may even still.

The doctor said he should make a full recovery, but he has yet to show any sign of that. Rapid eye movement and the occasional twitch of his hand are the only indications he has given that he is still willing to fight.

So, yes for the moment, Brody hates this woman. She hates the fact that Sonja Percy only took a bullet in the leg and was barely winged with another. Sonja is now up and about while Chris has yet to even give her one inkling of hope that he's going to come back from this.

Most of all she hates the fact that Chris chose to act out on his own rather than waiting for backup. Why couldn't he have just waited those 8 minutes? How is she supposed to have his back when he won't wait for her? They are supposed to be partners and he left her behind to go off and save some federal agent who has connections to Paul Jenks.

Because he's Chris she reminds herself, taking a hold of his hand to study his long slender fingers before lacing them with her own. Placing his hand into hers helps to quell her uncontrollable anger for the moment as she feels him reacting to her touch with a slight squeeze.

According to the doctor, the slight squeeze is just an involuntary reaction. What she wants the most is to see his eyes, those damn mesmerizing ocean colored irises that she has to stop herself from constantly dreaming about. She wants to see them staring intently into hers as if to say I'm sorry for putting you through all of this.

She'll never forget the vacant look she saw in them when she and Pride first found him on the ground, bleeding out. It was the look of someone who was slipping away.

For a couple of minutes in the ambulance he'd managed to make an effort to focus on she and Pride in a sickly kind of way, but in the end, he'd allowed the darkness to win. Merri had to give to him that one she supposed given that at the time his insides were attempting to escape through the bullet hole in his abdomen.

But now, the fact that he was refusing to open them and look at her was unacceptable.

How could he just lie there leading her on like this? It was bad enough that he cheated on her with Agent Percy in a standoff but now this was just pure torture. Didn't he know how much he meant to her? Didn't he know how much he was scaring her with the notion that his life was ebbing away.

How could he not know how much she needed him?

How could he be doing this to her?

Releasing his hand, she touched the side of his face with the back of her hand. The hair on his cheek felt rough against her skin. After two days, maybe closer to three, Chris is sporting more than a five O'clock shadow and in desperate need of a shave.

"Just look at me please," she pleads as tears threaten to fall from her lashes. She's never lost a partner Colleagues, yes, but never a partner. In fact she's never had a partner due to her constant need for relocating.

Damn it. She hates herself for becoming so emotional. But he can't help it. Chris LaSalle is the closest thing she has to a best friend. He's her partner, her everything, the only one who truly gets her. Swiping at her face, she pulls to her feet and turns toward the window, crossing her arms angrily over her chest.

Damn you, Chris LaSalle for making me feel this way. Damn you, for being my partner and Damn you for getting shot! Damn me for ever laying eyes on you. She is so busy with her own self-loathing that she almost doesn't hear the slight moan coming from the bed.

Whirling around, she sees Chris's brow beginning to furrow and her heart begins to thump with excitement. He's waking up! The time that it takes for his irises to come into view seems like an eternity, but when they do they are the most beautiful sight Merri Brody has ever seen. They are hazy and confused at first, but she can see them and that's all that matters. Her partner is back!

"Chris? Look at me." she says in effort to get him to focus as his eye lids begin to droop. She doesn't want to take the chance that he might slip away again. If he does he might not come back.

His lips part to speak but a quick touch of her index finger silences any sound he might want to make.

"Just look at me." Brody says, staring intently and intimately into his eyes, gazing at those deep blue irises that she has missed so much.