A/N: Yes, Yes. This took awhile, but it's long. Thank you to everyone who has been reading and leaving reviews. It really is encouraging. And sometimes Sophie swears.
For lack of a better word, when Sophie opened her eyes her head felt fuzzy. She felt a desperate need to keep her eyes open, despite the blinding light that seemed to be focused directly in them. On top of the fact that she was strapped down by tubes, Sophie quickly ascertained that she was in the hospital.
Fucking 'ell.
Again.
She sighed.
The NHS should just keep an open reservation for her. She just couldn't seem to stay away.
"Soph?!" she heard vaguely thru her annoyance and drug-induced haze. The brunette slowly turned her head toward the sound of the most angelic voice. She also noticed the hoarseness, which she had sadly heard before. Her poor girl. Sophie just kept putting her through hell.
She was lucky that this girl loved her.
"Is Jack all right?" Sophie asked. Her voice was as croaky and deep as a man.
"Yes! Yes he's fine. Just some scratches" Sian said softly clutching to Sophie's hand.
She sunk her head back into the soft pillow and closed her eyes.
When Sophie opened her eyes, Sian finally found herself able to smile again. She had been waiting for 5 hours for Soph to wake up since she'd been moved to the ICU. Rosie had signed Jack out once his stitches were done and taken him home. Rita would watch him while Rosie grabbed some clothes for when Sophie would need them.
"Trust me, she'll wake up. And then she won't want to be all gross" Rosie had reassured her.
Sian still refused to leave Sophie's side convinced that she would wake up again any minute.
"She'll need me," Sian had said with the assurance of someone older than she looked.
All night Sian had been having flashbacks to two of the most traumatic moments of her young life: when Sophie had fallen and her dad passing away.
It had been years of tense-filled silence or begrudging familiarity between Sian and her father over the years. When her world had fallen apart, she had briefly stayed with him in Newcastle. They had fought with the ferocity that was really the only thing that the two of them genetically shared. Vinnie refused to let her failed relationship with Sophie go. He loved to slag her off for it. Slag off Sophie. Slag off her mother. It never seemed to end.
The only good thing to come out of that short time together was that it drove Sian back to college. Sian knew that Sophie believed that it had been her heartache over her that drove her to America, but really it had been to show her parents what for. Sian would get as far as she could away from their judgment.
She had gotten the call on her cell phone in California. Her mother had filled her in on her father dying in that cold emotionless tone that she did everything. Sian had jumped on a plane to Heathrow, then train to Newcastle, and never returned to California again.
Her father had always seemed so large to her. A bellowing nasty giant in a dirty jumpsuit. He looked very different at the hospice. Between the drugs and the death throes of cancer, he had never seemed to even know who she was at all.
She had watched him take his last breath.
For years she couldn't shake the fact that she hadn't been there for Sophie when she had needed her that night she had fallen. If Rosie hadn't called her than she wouldn't have made it to the hospital at all. No matter how many times Sophie told her otherwise afterward, it had still taken her sometime to forgive herself.
Sophie was always the religious one between the two of them. Sian often scoffed when her girlfriend would singsong "that everything happens for a reason." But Sophie's accident had taught her a simple lesson that life was very fragile. Her girlfriend often seemed so steady but the war of the Webster's had nearly killed her sweet Soph. Sian had not been the support that she should have been at the time. But then again she had only been 17.
But then again she hadn't been there when a car hit Sophie either.
It had hurt her inside her chest when she had first seen the new scars on her lover's back. Later Sophie filled her in on the circumstances, and it made her shudder. Her blood boiled to think that it was all down to Ryan Connor acting stupid. It was one thing to be immature but to be so reckless was awful. Sian nearly believed that it was out of some horrid form of revenge for what had happened a million years ago. It wound Sian up.
She just wished that she had been there for her then. It seemed like Sian was always waiting for the chance to be there for Sophie Webster.
Perhaps now was her chance. There was no way that she wouldn't be here for her now.
"Have they called my mum & dad yet?" Sophie asked hesitantly. She hated the fact that she would likely have to deal with the shouty Webster's soon. Her head ached at the thought of it.
"Yep Rosie got a hold of them. They're headed back on the first plane," Sian said with a smile.
"Shouting the whole way, I'm sure" Sophie chuckled good-naturedly. They looked at each other as their faces both went soft.
"Well hopefully you'll be out of here before their plane even lands" Sian said squeezing her hand.
"I wrecked the car," Sophie said lowly. Her eyes were full of that guilty look that Sian knew was soul deep.
"It happens, at least you're still alive babe. Insurance will cover the rest" Sian smiled with compassion. She knew that her girlfriend was the kind of person who would let her self get eaten on the inside if allowed to stew. Her girlfriend liked to take anything that went wrong to heart.
"I don't know why I'm still here at all. I told them that I was fine. That my spine is fine. That everything's fine" Sophie said getting wound up with every sentence.
"Babe, they just want to make sure" Sian tried to reassure her. "Oh and the cops want to talk to you about the accident, so you might as well get that over with" she added.
"I don't want to talk to the cops," Sophie said firmly.
"Babe" Sian said shaking her head "You have to talk to them for the insurance anyway. They just want to know what happened" Sian said firmly. She knew that her girlfriend didn't like dealing with authority but now she wondered why she was being so stubborn about it.
"Well I don't want to deal with them. I always end up with the wrong end of the stick," Sophie said standoffishly.
Sian could tell that if Sophie could move her arms she'd be folding them across her chest.
She sighed. "In fact, I'd like to know what happened. You can tell me before you tell them. It's okay" she tried to soften her voice even though she was starting to get wound up.
She never liked it when Sophie got this way. It was a proper Webster family trait to either get mad or just refuse to speak. Unfortunately when Sophie was refusing to speak it meant that "something" was on the way. Sian felt a shiver run through her spine. She tried to keep her face from showing it, but her spine straightened and her back muscles tensed up.
Sophie turned her face away. There was no way that she'd be able to tell her while looking her in the face. She sniffed back a sob.
"Sian, I wasn't going where I told you I was going," she said softly. "I was going to meet my old girlfriend in Stockport" Sophie said quickly as if ripping off a band-aid.
Sian blinked. Hard.
"Sophie what have you done?" she asked in her most serious tone. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Sophie didn't answer. Sian had moved from concerned to fuming right quick.
"Sophie you're gonna tell me what's 'appended or I'll storm right out here and drag the nearest cop in here. Then I'll head right back to the flat and through all your clothes out into the street" the blonde's voice getting more high pitched and coarse with each word.
Sophie turned back to her. Yep, Sian was furious.
"Sian, it's not what you think" Sophie said pleadingly. "And thanks for the trust really" she said sarkily.
"You better talk fast Sophie Webster" Sian said still cross.
Sophie gathered up her strength. This was why she hadn't said anything about it in the first place. It was a right laugh though that Sian was so quick to assume something bad had happened. Someday they would sort out their trust issues but clearly they still had a long way to go. If it wasn't for the morphine she was sure that she would have thrown her own strop. But she was way too tired.
Last week she had gotten her first email from Jenna in years. They hadn't kept up after Jenna dumped her and moved to Nottingham. Looking back it was pretty obvious to Sophie that they had nothing in common. And well she wasn't Sian. Or even hot like Hayley. Still Sophie was too nice to blow her off when she'd said she would be in Stockport. A cuppa tea wouldn't hurt at all.
"Well why didn't you just tell me" Sian had asked confused.
"I just…ugh…well it's all ruined now…I was going to go to Manchester on my way back so technically I wasn't saying…" Sophie spurted out.
"Sophie!" Sian said.
"All right, all right. I'm sorry, okay, but I was going to tell you after anyway" Sophie relented, but she still turned away from Sian in her bed.
"Still doesn't make it okay" Sian said as she kept her arms crossed in a defensive posture. It was times like these that she was reminded of the Webster family trait of defending their own deceit. It was not a quality that she appreciated in her Sophie. It had shattered her heart in the past. Despite getting wound up, though, Sian tried to calm herself down. She had to learn from Soph how she ended up in that car crash, not whether she was cheating on her. And the blonde knew that Sophie wouldn't cheat on her with Jenna.
In fact she never even talked about that ex-girlfriend at all. Sian hadn't even seen a picture.
It's not like the two women talked all that much about their time apart. It was much easier just to step over it and act as if they'd never been separated. But ignoring it meant they were avoiding a part of what they are now. If there was something that Sian had learned since she'd come back it was that talking about these things always made it better.
And she hadn't heard the whole story, so she had to get Soph talking again.
"Sophie it's okay. I just wish that you had told me is all. So how was it?" Sian softened.
Sophie turned over and saw that her girlfriend's tone of voice matched her eyes.
"Actually dead boring. She's a nice woman but really dull" Sophie admitted. She didn't like being harsh, but Jenna was older and they really didn't have much in common. It would have never worked out for them. Still it was good to hear that she was back helping people, but this time as an office manager at a charity. It was one of the things that attracted Sophie to her in the first place-her need to help others.
"Why did you take Jack with you?" Sian asked.
"Well there was no choice really was there. And he could play with her son" Sophie said matter-of-factly. Sophie had been very surprised to hear that Jenna had a little boy. It had never been the kind of thing that they talked about when they were dating. Sophie didn't pry into the details but apparently in the years since their break up Jenna had chosen to become a single mum.
"Whut?" Sian said shaking her head.
"Yeah I was shocked too. But he's gorgeous and it forced her to pull herself together. Like you did for me," Sophie explained tiredly. She could barely keep her eyes open. "Sian I'm so tired. Can we talk about the accident later?" the brunette said lowly as she closed her eyes.