Holding Him
Harry jumped in the shower before heading to Severus' quarters.
He stopped in front of Salazar's portrait.
"Hey Sal, what's going on?"
"He is upset young one. Try to figure out what's wrong won't you?"
"Of course."
He was let in.
"Hey Severus, whatcha got for me today?"
"A memory. Your mother used to sing to her doll when I new her before school. I've got a memory of the lullaby she loved."
Harry paused to take in the circles under his eyes and his drawn posture.
"What happened to you?"
"Do you want to see the-"
"Severus. Don't ignore me. Have you seen yourself?"
"I just- I realized I-"
"It was Bill wasn't it?"
Severus nodded.
"What did he do?"
"I just- he- I'm not sure if-"
Harry frowned at the stuttering. Severus didn't stutter.
"I think he likes you."
"No one-"
"You didn't believe him did you?"
"He couldn't-"
Harry shook his head, "He could and he did. He does."
Harry turned away from the memory on the desk.
"I've heard the song before. A memory of her singing it to me was in my vault that I inherited with my seventeenth birthday. You need to let him in Severus. Let someone in."
The older man put his head in his hands.
"I let you in. Why do I-"
"Don't give me that. It's complete bollocks and you know it. You let me in, and it went great, but I'm still not all there am I? I mean completely. Let someone love you Severus. He wants to. Let him. Let him hold you. What's so wrong with letting someone fill the emptiness?"
"Why do you think I need-"
"Stop it. Everyone needs someone to hold them every now and then."
"I'm not some- woman!"
Harry snapped, "And neither am I! That doesn't mean I don't need a shoulder to cry on! Draco is no girl, but I swear he's broken down in my arms more than Hermione has! And you know what? I hold him. I let him cry it out and even encourage it! He needs someone to lean on after all this time of being able to depend on no one! And you do too. Why can't you just accept that?"
Severus looked down at the carpet, "I need to be strong."
Harry pushed the hair blocking his face away.
"No Severus. You don't."
He walked to the door to pull it open.
"You don't have to be alone."
Severus fell back against the cushions.
"But I am," he whispered, "And it's my own fault."
Bill combed his hair back, tying at his neck. He looked down at the tattoo of a dragon on his side, black against his skin.
I wonder if Severus will like it, he thought, hoping he could reconcile with the man. He pulled on a shirt before marching out.
Severus had just finished a long hot shower and was pulling on a pair of dark pants when he heard a knock at his door. He tapped a finger to his hair to dry it before moving to open it.
When he did he wished he hadn't.
There in the doorway was William (Bill) Weasley, looking as if he had come personally to torture Severus and make him want him all the more.
"William," he said by way of greeting.
"Severus," Bill returned, letting his heated gaze rake up his lean figure, "May I come in? I have something I would like to discuss with you."
The potions master pulled the heavy wood open wider, inviting Bill in.
"I was just about to pour myself some scotch, care to join me?"
"If you wouldn't mind."
Severus spared a thought for how he certainly did mind, but nonetheless poured his guest a drink.
"I wanted to talk to you about last night."
If it weren't for his years as a spy, he was certain he would've dropped the bottle. However, his face only betrayed him for a moment before going back to it's usual cold mask.
"Oh?"
Bill came over to him, taking his glass and setting it on the table.
"Yes. Severus, I know you think I'm playing you. That I have some ulterior motive, but I don't. Why is it so hard to believe that I might actually have feelings for you?"
"You couldn't possibly!" Severus spat, "You don't even know me!"
"Then let me get to know you. I know what you did in the war. I know how brave you are, and how intelligent. Let me-"
"No!" Severus shouted, "I- I can't."
Bill came closer, intruding on his personal space.
"Why not?"
Severus let his head drop to rest on Bill's shoulder.
"I can't get hurt again. I-"
"I won't hurt you Severus."
"You say that now! But wait! You'll get sick of it! The shell! The cruel humour! The ugliness! You won't want it anymore! You won't want me! And then I'll- I just can't. Surely you understand."
"I'll break your shell," Bill promised, "I love your sense of humour. I will want you Severus. And you are beautiful."
"Don't-"
"You don't. You are beautiful to me Sev. Every bit of you. And if we don't work out, so what? At least we took the chance! We could be something great Severus! I could take care of you, if you let me. I could love you if you let me. Isn't it worth the risk?"
"I don't know what love even feels like William. I wouldn't be able to offer it back."
Bill caressed his back.
"You do Sev. I see it. Love is how you take care of Draco, and how you protected Harry, and how you cared for Lily, and the way you fought for the light. You are loving. You can love."
Severus steeled himself.
"I'm scared," he whispered against the cloth of William's shirt, not thinking he would be heard.
He was.
Well muscled arms tightened around his bare torso.
"I know. But isn't it worth the risk?"
Severus pulled back, "Is it?"
Bill leaned forward, "Let me show you."
He took Severus' thin lips in his own. They battled together at first before Severus relaxed and let him take over, moaning into the kiss.
"Worth it."
Harry opened his eyes, trying to figure out what had awoken him.
Then he heard it again.
"Leave her alone! Stop it. Please!"
He sat up, facing the boy pulling at the blankets.
"Dray. Draco wake up. It's not real babe, it's just a dream."
Draco fought with the sheets entrapping him.
Harry ripped them away, pulling Draco's sweaty, shivering form into his arms.
"Harry?"
"It's alright. You're safe."
"He tortured her-he-I couldn't-and she-"
"It's over Dray. The war is over and that monster's dead. He can't harm anyone anymore."
Draco clung to Harry like a lifeline, letting is warmth seep into him.
"Distract me," he ordered in a small voice.
Harry thought for a moment.
"There's a song my mother used to sing to me, when I was little and couldn't sleep. Would you like to hear it?"
"Sure."
Harry smiled before singing low.
"I'm lying on the moon
My dear, I'll be there soon
It's a quiet, starry place
Times were swallowed up
In space we're here a million miles away
There's things I wish I knew
There's no thing I'd keep from you
It's a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I'm safe and we're a million miles away
We're lying on the moon
It's a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I'm okay and
We're a million miles away"
(The Moon Song by Karen O. and Spike Jonze) watch?v=SU6KFnGF9M8
I know it's super fluffy, but never fear my dear readers, things will be picking up soon. Harry can't have a year without a little danger can he?
Happy Reading!