"Roy?" I called out as I peeped through the dusty window. I wiped a bit of the soot-like dirt off the window to get a clearer view. "Eurgh"
I moved to the other side of the door trying to find a cleaner window to look through.
There I was, wearing my favourite heels standing outside Roy Harper's house trying to telepathically summon him out without much luck. I highly doubted he was even inside the house, but I still tried. Oliver and Dig both thought it was normal for Roy to disappear like that, but I didn't. I had no trace of him. Maybe just a few snapshots of him on traffic cameras but that was it. My first guess was that he was hiding at his home.
"Okay, I'm seriously creeped out right now." I looked through the window on the door.
"Felicity?" A voice said behind me, frightening me.
"Roy!"
"What are you doing here?" He asked me.
I inhaled, "You disappeared... I was worried. Where have you been?"
Ignoring my question, he took out some keys from his pocket and walked up the porch stairs. He put the keys in the keyhole and unlocked the door. He let me enter first and then closed the door behind himself.
"Why did you lie to me?" He asked.
"Lie? I didn't lie. What did I lie about?" I said growing more nervous as the moment went by.
"I went to Sin. She told me about the whole hulk-mode/mirakuru zombie phase I went through and didn't remember. Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Okay, Roy. We were in the middle of a war against Slade Wilson. Sorry I didn't find it appropriate to tell you that you nearly killed your own girlfriend."
He suddenly grimaced. "Thea's gone... wait, I tried to kill her?"
"Let's not go into that right now." I quickly avoided the question. "Come home, Roy. It's not safe for you to be here alone."
"What's left of the foundry anyway?" he scoffed. "I highly doubt Oliver even needs me right now."
I shrugged. "We do need you. Because like it or not, you are apart of a team." I lowered my voice to a whisper, "Team Arrow."
"I'll come back... I just... I just need some space right now. You understand?"
I nodded, even though I didn't entirely agree or understand why. "Sure. You know where we are, alright?"
I left and went back to our new hideout where I found Oliver organising his arrows.
"Need some help?" I offered.
He swivelled around to face me, "its okay. Where have you been?"
"I went to see Roy."
"How is he?"
"More distant than usual I have to say. He almost resembles you."
He let out a little smile. Then he said, "It's not safe still. I don't like you going out on your own."
"Unless you want to be my 24-hour personal bodyguard..." I said. "Come on, Oliver. I really don't need that much protection; I mean you have bigger things to worry about."
"It just makes me nervous, that's all."
I put my bag down, took off my coat and picked up out of his infamous arrows and stared at it for a second. "Huh... maybe one day I'll be able to shoot one of these."
"Maybe one day I can teach you." He stood up. He picked up his bow and gently took the arrow from my hand.
He lifted the bow, put the arrow in and drew it. He aimed for the wall across the room, and then let go.
He made it look so effortless.
"Your turn." He handed me the bow.
I attempted to take it with one hand but it was way heavier than I had anticipated.
"Oh God, It's heavy."
He grinned and helped me hold it. "You need to be relaxed."
He put my hand properly onto the bow and made me adjust my posture. He was standing on my left, he had his right arm around me and his hand was over mine on the bow. He had his left arm on my other side, enclosing me between his arms.
He made it difficult to think about archery when he was standing so unbelievably close to me I could feel his infrared radiation radiating onto me. Being this close gave me goosebumps. I could feel the hairs on my arms and legs shift from being horizontal to vertical. I felt his fairly warm breath breathing onto my neck. Then he whispered into my ear. " Good... You need to set your eye on a target."
"Ollie?"
Oliver quickly pulled back at the sound of Laurel's voice.
"Laurel... what are you doing here?"
"I needed to talk to you."
Wow. How rude. Not even a 'Hi'. Hello? Am I invisible?
"Hi Laurel." I said.
"Oh, Felicity - Hi. I didn't expect you to be here."
I raised my eyebrows, feeling slightly offended. "Me? Oh I'm always here. I've been here for about a year and a half now."
"Right." She smiled. A smile only I knew was fictitious. "Can I talk to you?"
"Yeah, sure." Oliver said, waiting for her to tell him whatever she wanted to tell him.
She stared at me, waiting for me to leave.
"Oh right. Felicity, get out. You're not needed here." I joked, leaving the room awkwardly.
I went outside and sat by the kerb. Damn, if only Dig weren't so damn busy all the time. I mean it's not his fault really. Husband/fatherly duties call, even though the baby isn't born yet.
My life sucks
That's what I thought as I sat by the roadside staring at the floor. I hardly had any friends anymore because keeping a secret like this sort of just takes over your whole life. I mean, I didn't even know what to do with my life anymore. Dig has Lyla and the baby, Oliver has virtually everyone and me... nothing.
I had to stop being so sucked in this 'Arrow' business.
Maybe my close friend Kimberley would want to talk... after months of neglect? – I think not.
Maybe I should get a new job...
Maybe I should start dating...
The door opened. "I'll talk to you later, Laurel."
Laurel then kissed him on the cheek and said, "Goodnight, Ollie." Then she left, just like she arrived – pretending I wasn't there.
"Sorry." Oliver apologised on her behalf.
"I'm used to it." I smiled. "Being an IT girl... life can disappoint sometimes. Sometimes I wish I was something more interesting and exotic, like a stripper. Maybe then I wouldn't be non-existent to the real world."
"You're not invisible to me, Felicity" He smiled.
We made our way back inside and then he said, "Hey, Can we talk?"
Just the question I was hoping he would never ask.
"Sure, about what? About how the Starling City Stars lost to the Gotham Giants last night? Oh, yeah. That was a disappointment" I started to ramble. "Man, I really thought Yakovlev was going to make the homerun."
"You watch Baseball?" He said with his face all screwed up and confused.
"Yeah, I guess so."
He grinned once again then he grimaced. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about."
"Really? Because I really don't have anything else to talk about I mean, do you? What else could we possibly talk about? There's nothing else to talk about" I continued to ramble.
"Yeah, I mean the fact that I said that I loved you... and you sort of said it back."
"Look, Oliver, you were right." I told him. "Being together... it would be bad, very bad. I don't want to be used as leverage against you, putting you in impossible situations. I care about you too much."
"I know." He said softly, almost surrendering. "I know. But Felicity, I can't help how I feel about you. I just want a straight answer. Tell me if you feel the same way."
"I do. God, I do. But we can't." I said suddenly becoming a little teary-eyed. "I think I've loved you since, 'Felicity Smoak? Hi, I'm Oliver Queen'."
He moved in closer to me. "Then what's the problem?"
"We're too different. I mean I'm that awkward blonde IT girl and you're that billionaire –"
"– Ex-billionaire."
"– Ex-billionaire hunk that all the pretty rich girls chase after."
"You know I don't care about that."
I shrugged. Then I said really quickly, "Plus you still have feelings for Laurel."
That sure seemed to take him by surprise. He jerked backwards a little and screwed his face up as to say I said something to offend him. "What?"
"Oliver." I tried my hardest to smile. "She's the love of your life. She is clearly still in love with you too I mean she basically hates me because she thinks you and I are more than just –"
I was suddenly stopped before I could finish my rambling.
When Oliver kissed me.
"– friends."