Author's note- The last few chapters have been focused on Darry but there more to the story than that. We still have Pony and Soda with their troubles. So now I'm shifting gears a bit and focuses less on Darry's love life and more on the boys. I am feeling better and was bored out of mind when i came up with this.
Pony-
Recap over the last week
I just couldn't take it anymore, too much had been swimming around in my head. This just takes the cake though, I like Cherry a lot but i found something out. I found out the reason she had taken my kiss and liking her hard, she was pregnant. Cherry Valance was pregnant, i hadn't slept with her so i am not the father. Growing up kinda sucks when you need your older brothers but they have problems of their own.
The baby isn't mine, but neither is Cherry. I like her a lot and i've told her, but after thinking i don't want to be anything more than just friends. I will support her as a friend just not as a boyfriend. I can't take on the responsibility of someone who isn't mine. I'm just a boy, i am not ready to be a father.
I just couldn't do it , I could go to school one more time and face those people. I was going through a rough time. My teachers expected one thing, my coach expected other things and Cherry expected completely differ things from me.
I can't take another day of this. I kicked the can around with Two- bit walking beside me. I wonder if he ever graduate high school. "Hey, Two. You want to ditch class today", I say with confidence
" you really want to little Curtis?", Two- bits asks surprised
"Why not? Who gives a damn? I've had rough week and I don't feel like going through this again", Pony says(Yes, Pony is Out of character but this is my story. Sorry to make you unhappy but this is how it is. My reason explained later)
"Pone,Are you sure?", Two-bit says
"I'm sure", I say
Present -
Many thoughts were swirling through my head. Darry had let Soda and I stay home from school/ work. He wanted us to recover after our troubles. Soda killed a man in self-defense, we had gone to court and he was declared not guilty. Soda was having his own struggles in his recovery. Mine, troubles were a little different.
I began my walk to school after a week off. My mind had many thoughts racing all at once. It wasn't easy to process all at once. I wanted a moments' peace and the only way to do that was deep thinking. I began to sort out my problems.
I had been dating Cherry Valance and she got pregnant. The child isn't mine because I didn't sleep with her. But I feel a sense of responsibility since the man didn't show to claim the child as his. The whole school thinks the baby is mine. The only people who know other wise are my brothers and guys. I know Two-bit and Steve know the truth, but haven't said anything to anyone.
I'm sure if prefer to let the school think the baby's mine rather than someone scum's baby. I not really sure what I should too. This is so confusing, I don't know where to turn. I'm scared and I don't know who to talk to. I mean this is my decision, not my brothers. I just need some time to think. Cherry is only twelve weeks along with the baby.
My coach ,expects me to be in top physical condition and have high grades to be ready for the district meet. Coach has it all worked out, he wants me to win at districts and go onto state. He claims it will be best if I do well at state for the third year in a row. The last two years I won first at district and state. He expects a third year straight win.
My english teacher, expects me to be top of my class and compete in the Young Writer's International contest. He wants me to compete with my theme I wrote my freshman year. My theme has many flaws and perfections, I want to present it the way it is. My english teacher wants me to change somethings.I think's it perfect, just the way it is. I told the story the way i meant it.
It's tough being me, everyone expects a certain things from me. Darry wants me to be successful and go to collage. My english teacher wants me to become an a young author and publish that book. My track coach wants to show case my talent and flaunt it the world. Cherry wants me to become a father to a baby that isn't mine. Everyone wants me to certain things but isn't it about what I want?
Shouldn't it be up to me whether I want to become a track star, a young author, a collage man or a father? It should be about what I want for my future. I'm not sure I'm ready to publish my theme yet. I know I want run because I love to run not because I want to show the world I'm talented. I like the feelings of the wind in my hair and the ground beneath my feet. I don't care about winning anything, I just like running. I know I want to go to collage but I'm not sure what I want to go into.
Darry wants me to become an engineer , because I'm a great at math and science. He tells me it's a great profession and I could make some money for just being a smart guy. Maybe i want to simply teach english and write novels on the side. Isn't that too much to ask?
I'm not sure, I want to be a father to a child that isn't mine. Shouldn't my first child be a child I choose to have with the woman I choose? I didn't choose Cherry, she choose me. I have a bright future ahead of me, I not sure I want to give that all up. I didn't get her pregnant, so why should I have to clean up the mess? Is there any reason for me to get up in the middle of the night to care for a child that isn't mine? I'm not sure how to voice my feelings.
I want to just keep on running because I enjoy it. Yeah, I might be good at but I don't care about winning. As for the theme, I want to publish it at some point. But I don't want to publish the story for the wrong reasons. Fame and fortune aren't the reasons I wrote that theme. I wrote that theme because I was telling a story, a story of boys from the east who don't deserve the troubles they get. It wasn't a fair story but life isn't fair. It's for the Dallas Winstons, Johnathan Cades, Steve Randells, Sodapop Curtises, Darry Curtises, Two-bit Matthews and Ponyboy Curtis of the world.
No one seems to understand me in this moment. Darry calls me a man but he doesn't always think about me as a man. My coach and teacher need to leave me the hell alone. It's my call, not theirs. Cherry needs to stop depending on me. The man responsible needs to grow a pair of balls.
That morning my head was no longer foggy. I was moving on, I needed to move on a week ago. It's time to put my foot down, speak my voice and let it be heard.