To be honest, Noodle had been craving a cheeseburger since she was concieved. Unfortunately, McDonald's was hard to come by in areas like hers. Her dad... Wouldn't let her have the fatty substances they'd serve up in places like that.
But he's got nothing against sushi.
Sushi every day.
As someone who is absolutely sick to the guts of sushi, she should be allowed to have her desire on this particular day.
"2D?" she called him early in the morning. 5:30am, to be precise.
"Eughh, luv?"
Maybe if she wasn't so desperately in love and lust for a cheeseburger, she'd feel sorry for him, but this was not the case.
"Can you take me to McDonald's for lunch? You can drive, right?"
"Wha-EY?" he yelled out the last part, a crash sounding through.
"2D?"
"'M aiight! L-like tiday?"
"Yes."
"Wev neva actually met up, though..."
"There's a first for everything."
"Es ih' like a date?"
Noodle blushed, her face scrunching up.
"Wh-i-n-uh-mmmmm-no!" she squeaked incredulously. "You're the only one who could take me somewhere, my friends are all studying on a day like this, and dad's out of the question."
"Yew dun' talk tih many people, do yew?"
"Look, can you take me to McDonald's for lunch today, or am I going to have to walk?"
"I'll take yew! I want teh, I was jis' confused, et's like... five-firteh in teh mornin', Noods."
"I really want a cheeseburger, I'm sorry 2D."
She really was now, she'll have to make it up to him one day.
"You go back to sleep, I'll text you my address and stuff, pick me up around 11:30."
"Hmmmmmmmm..."
"You promise?"
"Yis!"
There was a moment of silence.
"Please, don't stand me up."
"I'll be at ye' door at 'levan firty, luv."
2D liked the colour lilac.
Noodle had an abundance of lilac clothes when she was younger, sure, but now at eighteen there was about one outfit in her wardrobe she ever wore, with mild alternatives once it was soaked in body crust.
At first she thought she'd fit some of her older clothes and attempted to squeeze herself into a cute little tank top she used to love. It wasn't exactly a tank top anymore due to her having to cut it off her body shortly afterwards.
Perhaps in a better state of mind, say, one that hadn't started their day at 5:30am, she would've realized she was trying to impress 2D and stopped herself from this madness.
But when she conveniently (or perhaps inconveniently) noticed her pretty lilac curtains and remembered her handy sewing skills, a strapless dress suddenly formed, probably a little shorter than she would've liked but it is summer after all.
She glanced at the clock once she was all done, meaning her converse were laced up, light makeup covering her adolescent blemishes, dress skimming mid thigh and hair as wild as ever. It was only 10:00am.
"Fuck!" She stomped her foot in a sudden rage and fell into her couch.
"Noodle!" Her father unfortunately walked in on her little outburst whilst tying up his amazing polka dotted work tie. The real walking dad.
"Sorry, dad. I'm meant to be going out in an hour and a half." Her father most likely would not be prepared for the realisation she doesn't think boys have cooties anymore. So...
"With who?"
"Melissa."
"Well, just play on that thing if you need to pass the time, uh, PlayStation. The thing where you do the zombie hoo-haa."
"A video game?" Noodle supposed that wasn't such a bad idea, her zombie butt-kicking skills hadn't been tested for a very long time.
So, she selected a game from her abundance of disks and began to pass the time by being a 50-something year old man in an alternate universe looking after the cure for humanities disease.
11:30pm
She waited at the door. One last check of her makeup, maybe a little touch up here. Wait, she doesn't want to seem desperate, better sit on the couch then wait a minute after he knocks. Yeeeeeah, that seems alluring and not so crazy. So she sat, and waited.
12:00pm
Noodle bit her recently painted nail whilst anxiously pacing her lounge, texting 2D every now and then.
/Where are you?
/Hey I'm getting hungry
/Dude what the heck
/So you're standing me up?
/That's cool I guess I'll just rip my heart out
She accidentally sent the last one, regretting it as soon as she pressed the damned button.
"Ugh."
1:00pm
An hour and a half, and nothing from 2D. She'd called him and tried to get a hold of him through everything, even calling his landline number. He never answered.
So now, Noodle was munching on cereal, but it tasted like uncooked rice. Perhaps it was as her view wasn't too great at this moment, everything was obscured by her tears and clumps of mascara but her hunger had to be satisfied somehow.
5:30pm
Bobs Burgers is a work of art. Noodle giggled and turned the volume up a little more even though it was slightly uncomfortable to listen to. But it was at 22% volume, and that just didn't sit right with her. So 25% it went!
Life is good.
Until she heard the front door open.
She froze. Then scrambled to fix her hair as she'd previously showered once again then had changed into bum pants and a pajama top, gotta look a little socially decent to murder-
It was just her dad.
"Hey, Noodle." He smiled politely when he reached the living room, but scowled at the TV behind her. "How can you like shows like that?"
"I dunno." She muttered, slumping into her seat again.
"Bad day?"
"Just tired."
She could feel her dad internally screaming behind her.
"I'll get dinner ready, then. Just vegetable soup tonight."
"TY, dad."
"What?"
"Thank you, dad." Noodle often just forgets that abbreviations aren't always well known.
"You're welcome."
He left her to her beloved TV programme once again.
"Oh Tina, you truly are my spirit animal." She sighed.
It had been two days without any contact from 2D. Noodle had been severing her emotional ties with him the entire time, turning mild (not exactly mild) affection into something that was borderline hatred. One day, she will get him back for what he has done...
"Right! And so, after getting pretty for him and everything, he's a no-show!" Noodle exclaimed through a mouthful of cheeseburger. Melissa had gotten her mother to take them to the fast food heaven, and was interested in knowing why Noodle had been so... Frightening, lately,
"Wow, what a prick." a small contribution of hatred was enough for Noodle to launch into another frenzy.
"I know! I'm so mad, I could... I dunno, break a guitar!" She slurped up her chocolate milkshake which admittedly did not go so well with the mountain of cheeseburgers she was still to eat.
"Wow, so mad."
Noodle made some muffled grunts of agreement as she stuffed another greaseball down her throat like a champion.
"If 'e eva 'ries 'o 'alk-"
"Noodle, swallow. I can't understand you."
A gulp and gasps for breath followed, then Noodle continued.
"If he ever tries to talk to me again, I'm fucking going to give him hell!"
"How will you do that?"
"He's scared of whales."
"Whales? That's weird."
"So lame." Truth be told, Noodle thought it was cute. He could watch people get torn to shreds and keep walking with their guts hanging out and enjoy it, but an audio of a whales call? Totally loses it.
She missed him. Noodle mentally slapped herself before she started crying all over her food. It's been only two days, she'd better get over herself quick. But she couldn't stop remembering their Skype calls where she would show him how to make origami and he'd sniffle a little bit from amazement while not even attempting to learn from her, or when she absolutely shredded some Iron Maiden on her electric guitar and he'd scream out the lyrics... They were awesome, they made her feel powerful and happier than she'd ever been.
But the feeling she had now destroyed those thoughts. They were nothing compared to this ache stabbing through her heart. She closed her eyes as a small pain throbbed behind her eyes, probably from overthinking.
"Ugh." She rummaged for another burger without looking, unwrapping and eating it with her neck drooped over her tray. If she'd opened her eyes, she would've noticed how alarmingly close her hair was to her pile of tomato sauce.
Asshole calling! Asshole caaaaaalliiiiing!
Noodle choked on her food, punching her chest to clear her throat. That ringtone was meant for a specific caller...
Regardless, she rushed to answer the call and hacked up the chewed cheeseburger into the wrapping it came in. Some gagging noises ensued but she paid no attention.
"Hello?" She gasped.
"Noodle..." The familiar cockney accent was heaven and hell.
"What do you want, 2D?" she remembered to be mad instead of sobbing.
"Look, I can explain-"
"Go ahead!"
"'Dey came right for meh!"
"Who?" He was attacked? Noodle chastised herself for the past few days of hatred, of course he'd never stand her up-
"Teh stairs."
.
.
.
"Huh?" When Noodle finally grasped concept of life again, he'd hung up. She frantically started tapping her screen to call him again.
When he answered, his giggles filled the speaker.
"Sorreh, luv, couldn' help mehself."
"2D, why did you stand me up? That's so... Asshole-ish!" Noodle seethed and hushed her friends attempts to grab the phone and give him a wizz-up.
"No, realleh. I tripped down teh stairs tryna put me pants on, 'n' knocked mehself intah' a coma." 2D laughed again, but it sounded more sheepish than cheeky. "Quite silleh' of meh wasn' ih'?"
Noodle was silent.
"Noods?"
"You idiot."
"'M sorreh!"
Great, now he's making her feel bad.
"No, I... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking very highly of you these past few days, I should've seen if you were okay." Her voice started shaking, and she knew she had to finish this quickly. "If you want, we can try again? I'll buy you your Maccas if you pick me up?"
"'Dat'd be luvleh."
"So uh... Are you okay?"
"Yeah, jus' got a wee bump on me 'ead is all."
Noodle smiled and shook her head, her eyes prickling from happiness.
"Tomorrow? Pick me up the same time we had scheduled?"
"Yis, 'levan 'firteh?"
"Yes, don't trip down your stairs again! No more 'wee bumps'."
"I will activeleh try not teh, luv."
"...see you."
She hung up and punched the air in triumph.
"He'd never stand me up! He tripped down the stairs! He was in a coma, Melissa!" She squealed happily, gathering up the rest of her burgers for consumption.
"Hooray."