Disclaimer: Obviously, I didn't write the 'Twilight' series and I have no rights to any of the characters. But, I did read and enjoy the books, and this is my way of continuing to enjoy them. I hope that nobody takes offence.
They all stood up to leave. Jasper hesitated by Edward's chair and looked over at Alice, "do I untie him yet?" he asked.
"No, it'll do him good to be in a slightly more vulnerable position for a bit. We'll only be upstairs, Bella, so just call when you want us to come back. If he won't take you seriously and tries to dismiss your opinion, call the rest of the family and we'll sort him out."
Silently, the Cullens slipped from the room. I was alone with Edward at last. I was alone with Edward and he couldn't get away from me. I could get all the answers that I wanted. Alice was right, leaving him tied to the chair did seem like a good idea, just for a little while longer.
"Are you alright?"
He nodded into the table.
"Did Jasper hurt you?"
Edward sighed, "no," he told his knees, "I'm not physically hurt."
All this time I had longed for Edward to return, and now he was finally here it was nothing like I had imagined. I'd thought that we'd instantly return to where we'd been before he left. I thought that there'd be kissing, hugging and lots and lots of talking. Surely we had loads to catch up on. Why did it seem like there was nothing to say?
"So, um, how have you been?"
"Fine," Edward told the table.
He didn't ask after me. But, then, he'd probably spoken to Alice already. I didn't want to talk about it, and I was relieved that he didn't either. Still, it made me wonder: did he hate me? Did he just wish that I would leave him alone?
After all, I'd done enough. By jumping off that cliff, I'd ruined his life. He'd tried to kill himself, and now he was in trouble with his whole family. Perhaps I should just go away and leave him in peace. But, I couldn't bring myself to do that. So, instead I said "Why did Alice bring me here? Is she trying to torture you?"
"No," he looked at me again, surprised by my question. I realised that was the trick to making him look at me. Every time I surprised him, he looked up. I would have to keep surprising him. "Alice brought you here because she thought that you would defend me. She was worried that my family were so furious with my behaviour that they might do something drastic. I suppose she was worried that they would send me away. It would be understandable. I've caused them all a lot of trouble and worry and now I've brought them to the attention of the Volturi. Alice thought that you would stop them sending me away forever."
"I don't believe that your family would ever ask you to leave. Surely none of them were thinking that, you should know."
He almost laughed at that, a short bark of bitter laughter, "they weren't thinking that, but most of them were deliberately blocking their thoughts from me with views of what I looked like."
"I don't think that was blocking their thoughts, Edward. I expect that they really were thinking about what you looked like. You look pretty rough."
"I'm truly sorry that you were brought here. I wish that I could take you home, but I can't do anything at the moment."
He came so close to asking me to leave, but he didn't quite say it. I should leave, I knew that. But, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I told myself that, if he asked me to, I would go. But, just being near him was wonderful. It was like being home.
I only wished that having me back in his life wasn't causing him such distress.
"What happened last night?"
He grimaced and ducked his head again, "I acted like an animal. Carlisle told me that I couldn't see you. He made me go out and hunt, then he said that I had to stay here. I really wanted to see you. I couldn't think about anything else. But they wouldn't let me. At first I tried persuasion and even begging. Then, when I realised that their minds were made up, I tried to escape. I fought with Jasper and Emmett all night long, but they were determined and they're strong. I couldn't get away. When Alice called this morning and said that she was bringing you over, they had to bring me downstairs for the meeting. I didn't believe that you were going to come here, I thought that they were trying to trick me. I thought that they were going to hide you from me forever. Jasper got fed up with all the fighting and tied me up. Then I just sat here until you arrived."
"I don't understand. If you were so desperate to see me last night, why didn't you want to see me this morning? Why do you keep saying that you wish I'd go away?"
It hadn't seemed like a surprising comment to me, but Edward looked up again anyway. The strangest things seemed to surprise him. "I haven't said that I wish you'd go away. I'm only alive when you're near me. Why would I want you to leave?"
"You have so said that you wish I'd go away. You said that you didn't want me here and you said that you wished you could take me home. What's that if it isn't wishing I'd leave?"
He shook his head and growled out "I love you. I always want you near me. But, obviously, I'm not exactly happy to be seen like this. It's humiliating enough that my family feel the need to restrain me in this way. It's mortifying for you to be here, seeing me, hearing what they're saying, discussing me as if I was a difficult child. I wish you weren't here, but I wish that I wasn't here too."
"You shouldn't just sit there sulking. If you don't like being treated like a difficult child, you shouldn't act like one." I snapped, and instantly regretted it. Edward sagged and drooped back down into his broken-stringed-puppet pose from before. "I'm sorry I said that. It was unkind. But I don't understand why you're not talking to your family."
"I don't have anything to say to them" he muttered into the table, "I understand why they want to get rid of me and I will go when they tell me to. But I can't offer and I can't say that I want to go. I'm too selfish. I wish that they'd keep me, even though I know that I don't deserve it. I wish that you would take me back too, even though I know that it's absurd."
"Say that again."
"I wish that you'd take me back, even though I know it's absurd." He looked up at me again, his eyes finally glinting, his voice finally containing some real emotion, "I know that I'm a mess. I know that I hurt you and I endangered you and I'm not good enough for you. I was never good enough for you. I know that – however hard I try – I will never be good enough for you. I will always drag you down. But, I really want you to let me try. I'm sorry, it's just more proof of how unworthy I am. If I loved you well enough, I would be pleased to let you go, knowing that it would be better for you. But I can't do it. I can't love you properly and unselfishly. I only want you. I want to be near you. I want to see you. I want to hear you. I'll follow you around like a puppy, if you'll let me. I'll slave for you for the rest of my existence I just want you to let me near you." He stopped suddenly, looking embarrassed and ashamed, "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."
"I'm very glad you did say that. Do you mean it? The loving me bit, I mean, not the being unworthy bit."
He smiled, "I love you, Bella. With every bit of me, I love you. I don't seem to be very good at showing it, but I do love you."
"What about your distractions? Did you love them?"
"Them?" he laughed at me, his eyes were golden and deep and rich again and he genuinely laughed at me, "there was nobody but you. I have never, ever, ever, loved anyone but you."
"So, what were you doing when you weren't near me? You say that you weren't chasing other women. What were you doing?"
He sighed "of course," he said, "I should have known you'd ask that. The only thing that's needed to make my humiliation complete. I was chasing women," I gasped and he grinned crookedly, "well, one woman. I was trying to track Victoria. I wasn't very good at it."
"You mean to tell me that you love me and we've found something that you're not good at? That's amazing. Those are the only two things that I have ever wanted to hear you say."
"Then I'll say them again: I love you, Bella Swan, and I am not at all good at tracking. I love you, and I am terrible at showing you how much I love you. I love you, and I can't get past Jasper, even though I can read his mind."
"How many inadequacies do you have?"
"Loads, you've never asked me to list them before. If you want, I'll sit here for hours telling you everything that I can't do and everything that I do badly. I love making you smile."
I laughed at him, "you can stop now. I'll hear more of your list later. It makes me feel better about myself to hear that the Perfect Edward Cullen isn't so perfect after all."
"I'm also not very good at being patient. Please will you tell me my fate? Do I have any chance of winning you back? May I at least try?"
"Silly Edward," I said, remembering how he used to call me 'silly Bella' and wondering if I liked the change of roles, "you never lost me. I love you and I always will. You left me behind, you didn't lose my love."
"I'm so sorry, my love. I shouldn't have done that. I will do anything to try and repay you. I will try to deserve your love. I will never get there, but I will try every day for the rest of your life."
That clumsy phrase 'the rest of your life' made me frown. I'd forgotten that old impasse. In the joy of hearing that he loved me, I'd forgotten that our love was hopeless. Even if he had never chosen to run from me, we would have eventually had to part. He was immortal, forever seventeen. I was already eighteen and I was going to get older and older.
"You're angry," he said, "you're angry with me. I can't even do a humble apology right. Please tell me what to do."
"I'm not angry with you. I just remembered something that made me cross."
"Will you tell me?" He struggled against his bonds, "I want to hold your hand, I want to bring it to my lips and pledge my undying love and loyal service. Why did Jasper have to tie this so tightly?"
It felt a bit silly, but I held my hand out to him, where he could reach it. He pressed his lips down fervently again and again. "Yours," he said between kisses, "I am yours, forever yours. I love you. I'm an idiot and I love you."
"I remembered our impasse," I told him, when he released my hand, "I remembered that you'll never grow old and I will, and eventually, however much we love each other, we will have to part. I remembered that you cannot love me forever and I cannot love you forever, because you won't change me. I remembered that and I was cross, because this won't last. Oh, it's wonderful now, but one day it will be over. One day you will find the strength to leave me 'for my own good' and you will break my heart again."
"Never," he said, looking longingly at my hand, he wanted to cement his new promise with more kisses, but I didn't feel like being kissed right now, "I will never leave you again. I will never find that strength. I will be around for the rest of your life. I will love you however old you are and I will follow you when you die."
"That's not what I want! I want you to change me and I want us to be young and in love and together forever. Why must you insist on death? Why insist on turning our love into a tragedy? I don't want to look like your grandmother. Even if you did still love me then (which I suspect is impossible) I wouldn't be able to have you with me in the same way. The only way that your promises of love can mean anything is if you change me."
"Never," he said again, angry now. He was angry that I was ruining his sweet loving reunion with my blast of reality and my fear of growing old without him. "I will not take away your soul. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what you're asking."
"Of course not, you know best, don't you, Edward? You always know best. How could I be so foolish as to believe your 'I'm an idiot' act? You don't respect my opinion at all. You don't want to listen to me. You just want to make another unilateral decision. How are we ever going to get past this? Why won't you take me seriously and at least listen to my opinion?"
Then I remembered Alice's words before she left. If Edward wouldn't listen to me, I should call for the family's help. There didn't seem any point in trying to retain any privacy in the Cullen household. If I really wanted Edward to listen to me, perhaps I should take Alice up on her offer. I wondered if she'd already seen my decision, but she didn't come in. Perhaps she was waiting for me to actually call, that was what she'd told me to do after all. Perhaps this was her attempt not to interfere too much. "Alice," I called out hesitantly, "Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, I'm done talking with Edward. Can we finish the meeting now? I have one more point to bring up."
Silently they returned. I didn't hear them come down the stairs or across the hall. But they all smiled at me as they filed back into the room. Emmett and Jasper had changed and were looking their usual smart selves again.
"Way to go, Romeo," Rosalie muttered, as she walked by.
Alice leaned over and ruffled Edward's hair, "hey, idiot," she said, "you should listen to your sisters. You should especially listen to your clairvoyant sister. I could prevent a lot of your more stupid mistakes."
"I haven't made a mistake in the last five minutes," Edward said through clenched teeth.
That made everyone laugh.
"Well done, Edward," Rosalie replied, "five minutes without a mistake deserves a reward. How about we all help you write that list that Bella wanted? The Things That Perfect Edward Cannot Do List."
Nobody said anything, but Edward hissed under his breath, so I guess that Rosalie's comment had set them all thinking and he didn't like their suggestions.
"Alright," Carlisle interrupted the thought-assault, "I believe that we have a meeting to finish. The item on the table is a duration for grounding Edward. Then Bella has a new item of business for us to discuss. So, let's hear everyone's suggestions for a length of time."
"I've heard people say that they're grounded forever," Emmett offered, "maybe we could be the first family to take that seriously."
"I was hoping for sensible suggestions," said Carlisle.
"Until we leave Forks," Rosalie said, "we can't trust him here."
"That wouldn't give him a release date to look forward to," Alice said, "that sounds a little cruel."
"It doesn't make sense as something to tell Charlie either," Jasper added, "this is mainly for Charlie's benefit."
"We could tell Charlie that he was grounded until he turned eighteen," said Emmett. He laughed broadly at his own joke, and his siblings (except Edward, of course) smiled slightly. But Carlisle sighed.
"Until graduation," offered Alice.
"That's three months" Edward said aghast, at exactly the same moment that Esme said "that's only three months."
Edward glared at Esme, who explained softly "three months is manageable, Edward."
"Alright, but, as Jasper says, this is mainly for Charlie's benefit, hence this grounding is for appearances only. So I can still spend the nights with Bella."
"Are you sure that you want to be alone with Bella all night? What would you do if Bella chose to end your relationship?" Carlisle asked solemnly.
"It would be better if you stopped sneaking around behind Charlie's back," added Esme, "it isn't proper for you to be in Bella's room at night."
"But, what if Bella wants me there?"
Jasper sighed, "Bella's slept without you for eight solid months. I expect that she can continue to sleep without you for another three."
"Bella," Alice asked, noticing that I hadn't contributed yet, "what do you think?"
I shrugged, "it probably is better not to run the risk of Charlie finding Edward in my room at night. Sneaking around behind his back is a bit immature."
"That just means that I mustn't get caught," Edward protested, "it doesn't mean that I can't be with you."
Rosalie shook her head slowly, "he's forever seventeen," she said to me, "he can't grow up, you know."
"I'm not a typical teenage boy, I'm 104 years old. I don't need to grow up."
"Settle down, Edward," Esme said gently, "you're not a typical teenage boy, but you are still seventeen in lots of ways. That's what Rose meant. She is wrong about you not being able to grow up, though. It will be harder for you than it has been for Bella, but you can change and become more mature."
"If you're going to be involved in a serious relationship, you'll have to change a bit, Edward," Carlisle joined in, "you have to mould yourself to fit your partner's side."
"Bella's been growing and changing all the time that you've known her," Emmett said, "she was seventeen when you met, but she's nearer to nineteen now. You've got a bit of catching up to do, Eddie."
"I think that brings us on to Bella's item of business," said Carlisle, "before we get on to that, can we all agree to three months?"
Everyone except Edward nodded eagerly; they all seemed to be in a hurry to get on to the matter that I wanted to discuss. Having heard the conversation that I'd been having with Edward, it must have been easy for them to work out what I was going to say.
"Go on, Bella," said Jasper, "you need to bring this point up yourself." The whole family was looking at me expectantly
"Do you all know what she's going to say? I don't know what this is about. How do you all know what she's going to say?" Edward asked. He sounded frustrated, he didn't like not understanding things. I wondered why he couldn't just read their minds.
"We all listen to Bella," said Rosalie, "that's one of the things that you should start practising."
"Rose, don't tease your brother," Esme responded, "go on, Bella dear."
"Alright, well this is sort of about what happened in Italy and sort of about me and Edward. I used to think that this discussion only involved Edward and myself, but I realise now that it involves everyone here.
"I guess that Alice and/or Edward have filled you in on what happened in Italy, so you must all know that Alice promised that I was going to be changed soon. And," I looked at Alice to emphasise my point, "she meant it.
"So, now we only have two choices: either I get changed into a vampire," I tried to ignore the low hiss from Edward, but my voice shook as I continued, "or the Volturi will be paying us a visit."
"I think that you're over-estimating the danger of the Volturi," Edward interrupted, which earned him six very pointed glares.
"Edward, you know that it isn't polite to interrupt You can make your point later, when Bella is finished."
"Sorry, Esme. Sorry, Bella."
"Alright, well, I don't want the Volturi coming here." This time Edward managed to stop himself interrupting, but he pouted in annoyance. "I don't want any of my family put in danger. So, I'm going to offer you two choices: either someone changes me, or I will fly back to Italy alone and let the Volturi deal with me. I know that Edward in particular is happy to disobey the Volturi, but I don't want you to endanger yourselves like that.
"I just have to make one last thing clear, before I finish and open up the discussion." Alice saw what I was going to say and gasped, but she didn't speak. "If you do decide to change me, that doesn't mean that you're all going to be stuck with me forever. From what I understand, I will need to be supervised whilst I'm a newborn, but after a few years I will be able to go off on my own. If you don't want me as part of the family, I will understand. You will never have to choose between me and Edward. If he can't stand to be around me, I'll leave so that he doesn't have to. That's all."
"Bella, we will never abandon you," Alice protested, quickest to speak because she'd seen what was coming and had a chance to prepare her line, "you are a part of our family and we'll never want to send you away."
"This family sticks together," said Carlisle, "your future with Edward may be a little uncertain right now, but you belong with us. And, once you're changed, we won't ever ask you to leave."
"What do you mean, 'once she's changed'? Carlisle, that's only one of the options."
"The other option is that she goes to Italy and lets them kill her," said Emmett, "are you suggesting that Carlisle ought to consider that one, Edward?" I'd never heard Emmett sound angry before.
"Of course I'm not suggesting that. I'm suggesting that you let me explain a third option. We could protect Bella as a human. I can't hear her, Aro can't hear her, even Jane's gift doesn't affect her. I'd be willing to bet that Demetri can't track her. So all we have to do is watch for the Volturi coming to visit – and Alice can easily handle that – then we hide her away until they give up and go back to Italy. Even if they did find Bella, there's a lot of us and we could probably defend her."
"Now I know why you said that you were an idiot," Jasper growled at his little brother, which made Edward slide back slightly, Jasper was kind of scary when he was cross. "If we tried to fight the Volturi guard, we would lose. I'm glad that Jane's gift doesn't work on Bella, but that doesn't help the rest of us. If we tried to fight them, the Volturi would destroy our entire family."
"And you can't rely so heavily on my gift, Edward. We all know that I don't see everything and sometimes I make mistakes. I don't want Bella's safety to depend on my ability to see the Volturi coming. I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm just not good enough."
"You're not a crystal ball, darlin'. Nobody is going to use you like that." Jasper pulled Alice towards him and she snuggled against his chest.
"I see your point, Eddie," Emmett offered, "I'd like a good excuse to pick a fight with the weird guys in cloaks too. But I think that Bella's idea is better. Bella will make a great vampire, and we won't need to worry about her getting run over anymore. Then, you can go and challenge Felix to a wrestling competition or something, if you're still eager for a fight."
"Bella shouldn't have to lose her humanity because she's scared," said Rosalie. "Edward has finally said something with which I agree. If anything is worth fighting for, it's the life of a family member. I say we fight to keep Bella human."
"That's the same thing as saying that we fight to lose Bella," Alice argued, "if she stays human then she will die. That's what being human means."
"That's not the only thing that being human means," Rosalie argued, "it means a lot more than that. It means the ability to grow and to change and to be really alive. It means the chance to have a child."
"Nobody is going to be able to persuade anyone else to change their mind. If we keep discussing the pros and cons of humanity, we're just going to get upset. We should just get on and vote" Alice said.
"You're only saying that because you know the way that the vote will go," Rosalie said. "I want a chance to persuade Bella that being human is worth it. I want her to know what she'd be giving up. I've never stopped grieving over my inability to have a child and I know that it upsets Esme too. It's a deep and a lasting pain, I want to spare Bella that." Emmett wrapped his big arm around Rosalie's shoulders and squeezed her tight. She leaned into his embrace, taking comfort from the biggest consolation that her existence offered her.
Esme answered her, "you're right, Rose, for you and for me, it has proven to be a deep and lasting pain that nothing can erase. But, for Alice it is barely worth mentioning, she doesn't suffer as we do. Everyone is different and Bella may not feel the same way that you or I do."
"Bella is choosing this life. We don't know what difference that will make," Carlisle added, holding Esme's hand tightly. Now all of the couples were comforting each other, apart from me and Edward, we were separated by opinion, by misunderstandings and by the ridiculous seating arrangement that left Edward unable to comfort me with his touch.
"So we vote," Jasper said, sadly. The mood at the table must be affecting him badly, everyone was unhappy for one reason or another.
"Nobody should have a vote except for Bella and me," Edward complained, I wondered if he already knew how all his family would vote and was trying to prevent it happening.
"We're all going to vote, Edward." Jasper said, in that firm voice of his. "Bella has already explained that she sees this as a decision effecting the whole family. Esme, why don't you start?"
Jasper's firm voice obviously affected the whole family. He announced that they were going to vote, and all argument stopped.
"I think that it is safest for Bella to be one of us, and I believe that she knows what she is doing and has a good chance at happiness. I vote yes."
Jasper was on Esme's right, so he spoke next, I wondered why he had arranged for the votes to be taken in this order, was it in order to ensure that Carlisle's vote was cast last of all?
"Yes," said Jasper, "Bella's argument makes sense and I believe that she has thought this through more thoroughly than any of us had an opportunity to do."
"I'm more selfish," Alice said, "I want Bella to be my sister. I'm glad that she wants this too. I vote yes."
"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, "I hate arguing with you and I can't bear seeing you this upset. But, I don't think that any other way makes sense. I vote yes, this is what I want to do."
"No," Edward said, "I will do anything to prevent this. I vote no."
"Yes," said Emmett, "this is the best way to keep Bella safe." I was surprised by that vote, I thought that he would be more supportive of Rosalie.
"I have to vote no, Bella," Rosalie said, "I know it's a losing vote, but I still think that your humanity is worth fighting for and worth dying for. I would rather we all died than you became one of us. I think that you stand to lose too much."
It was two votes to five. If we were going to go with the majority, then I had already won. But Carlisle's vote probably counted for a lot, if he voted no, then it might still go against me.
"Yes," he said, "I will support Bella's choice."
I had won the vote. I ought to have been thrilled. But I couldn't even smile, not with Edward sat next to me, slumped in his chair not speaking or looking at anyone. I had wanted to win, but I hadn't wanted him to lose. I never wanted Edward to lose anything.
Jasper was cuddling Alice, Emmett was holding Rosalie, Carlisle was holding Esme's hand. I was here to support Edward and protect him from hurt. He was hurt now, and he needed comforting, even more so than anyone else at the table. I got up from my chair so that I could get close to him. Tentatively, I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't respond in any way. I stroked his hair gently, feeling his soft curls between my fingers. He didn't move. I stopped and drew my hand back slightly. He tipped his head slightly, following my hand, forcing me back into contact with him. That was all the proof that I needed from him. I knew now that he wanted to feel my touch. I leaned against him, feeling the cool of his arm against my side, and stroked his hair and his cheek in a rhythmic motion. There was nothing that I could say to soothe him right now, but I could be here and I could touch him. I hoped that he could feel some of my love for him, coming through the heat of my fingers.
"We should set a date," said Jasper.
"It'll be after graduation," Alice answered dully, even she couldn't be happy while Edward was so defeated and weak, "then we can tell people that Bella's going off to college and her disappearance won't raise as many suspicions."
"Who will do it?" I asked. I felt Edward shiver against my side and instinctively I put my arms around him and held him as tightly as I could. "Hush," I said, soothing him as if he were having a bad dream, "you're safe, everything will be alright."
"I can change you without losing control," said Carlisle.
Edward whimpered slightly. I wanted to get closer to him, to cuddle against him, to push my cheek against his and make him feel my presence. But, he was immovable as a rock, I couldn't lift his head.
Jasper slipped round behind him and pulled his chair away from the table, so that I could climb onto Edward's lap and nuzzle my head under his chin. I ought to have been embarrassed to put on such a display of physical affection in full view of the whole family, but they were all holding each other too. And Edward needed me to hold him now. Even though it was my fault that he was feeling this way, I was still the only one who could offer him any relief at all. Settled on his lap, I snaked one arm around his shoulders and lifted my other hand to stroke his cheek. I muttered nonsense to him in a gentle, quiet voice, "it's alright, I love you, everything will work out, it's ok, don't be sad, hush now." He kept his eyes closed so that he couldn't look at me, but he pressed his cheek lightly against the top of my head and he let me stroke him.
I don't know how long we sat like this, Edward silent, and me soothing, the rest of the Cullens watching and talking – if they were talking at all – too quietly for me to hear. Finally, Alice spoke at a human volume, "Bella has to move soon, or she'll get cramp, and she has to eat."
"I'll make some lunch," Esme offered, "would a sandwich be alright? I can make chicken salad, Edward said that you liked that."
"That would be great, thanks, Esme," I didn't even offer to make it myself. There was nothing more important than comforting my Edward, not even being a polite guest and preventing my hostess from the disgusting task of preparing food that revolted her.
"Can we untie Edward?" Jasper asked his wife, "Bella would be more comfortable in the lounge."
Alice sighed, "he'll destroy his piano and run off. We won't be able to get him back in time for school."
"Edward," Rosalie said, "listen to me carefully. You are grounded, which means that you cannot leave this house. When Bella goes home, you will have to stay here. You can't get past Emmett and Jasper. Bella will not be here for much longer, so you should think very carefully about how you want to use your limited time with her. Do you want to break things and scare her away, or do you want to sit quietly and hold her in your arms?"
He didn't reply, but Rosalie didn't seem to mind, she was looking at Alice not Edward. "Well," she asked, "did it make any difference?"
"He'll be ok," Alice said, "he plans on behaving until Bella leaves."
I clambered off Edward's lap so that Jasper could set him free. Even working at vampire-speed it took Jasper a few minutes to untie Edward completely. Then he stepped back. Despite Alice's assurances, Jasper and Emmett were alert. They stood either side of Edward, watching him intently.
Not wanting to panic his brothers, Edward moved slowly. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Then he ducked his head so that he could only see me through his eyelashes. I wondered if he knew how cute that made him look. I hoped not. It wouldn't be good for our relationship if Edward knew that I couldn't deny him anything when he peered up at me through his eyelashes. If he asked me to change my mind now and agree to stay human until I died, I think that I would have done so.
He moved his right arm slowly, lifting it and placing it back down on his lap. Then he did the same with his left arm. It was as though he was testing that his limbs still worked. It would have made sense had he been human, but it seemed strange for a vampire. Surely his limbs couldn't have cramped up, however long he'd been held in one position.
"You don't have to move that slowly," Jasper muttered.
"I'm attempting to avoid your wrath," Edward told him.
Jasper merely growled in return.
"I'll drag you through to the lounge by your hair if you like," Emmett offered in a tone that made it sound as though he was merely offering to give Edward a hand.
Edward smirked sarcastically and got up out of the chair.
"You'd better tell Esme that you'll replace that," said Alice, nodding at the chair.
"I don't see how that's my fault" Edward responded, "tying me to a chair was the Major's bright idea."
"Maybe so," Rosalie said, "but it's your fingerprints pressed into the arms."
"Perhaps Esme will like it," Edward said, "it makes the chair unique."
Jasper laughed, "you should tell her that" he said, "she liked Bella's idea of extra chores for teenagers who make a nuisance of themselves."
"I'm sorry I ruined your chair, Mom," Edward said, no more loudly than he'd been speaking before, "I'll replace it for you, I promise." Then he glanced at me quickly, "Esme's made your lunch, may I come with you?"
"I always want you with me," I said, taking his hand and letting him lead me into the lounge.
"Except at night," Edward added softly.
"It's not right to sneak around behind Charlie's back and I don't want to act like a silly girl anymore."
"Are you already out-growing me?" Edward tried to cover his hurt with curiosity, but he couldn't look at me, "am I just a silly little boy to you now?"
"No, of course not. You're Edward and I love you and I admire you. I think that you're amazing and clever and self-disciplined and wonderful. I think of you as a man, not a boy. It's just that I've learnt some new things and one of them is that I don't always have to agree with you. I can love you and respect you and still disagree with you."
"Oh. Do you mind if it takes me a little while to get used to that? I'm a tiny bit afraid of the new independent Bella who joins forces with the rest of my family."
"I don't know about joining forces," Jasper said, with a grin, "I think that Bella rather led the charge in there. It's a pleasure to serve under you, General Swan." He snapped his heels and gave me a proper military salute.
"General Swan, is it?" Alice teased, "where does that leave me? Are you deserting my ranks, Major Whitlock?"
"Certainly not, Ma'am. A Field Marshall outranks a General and I will always obey your orders first and foremost."
"What about you, Eddie," Emmett asked, "are you going to sign up to serve under General Swan?"
Edward frowned, he never liked Emmett to tease him about being under me or on top of me or pressed against me in any fashion that might not be perfectly proper.
I interrupted before Edward had a chance to speak "I think that we'll leave the role-play to the rest of you degenerates. Edward and I are happy enough just being Edward and Bella."
Edward looked shocked, but his siblings roared with laughter. I think that they took 'degenerates' as a compliment. Alice dragged Edward upstairs to change his clothes, that was probably a good idea, he looked like he'd been in about six fights in a row. He clearly didn't want to waste a moment of our time together, he was back before I'd chosen a sofa on which to sit.
We reached the lounge and fanned out onto the various sofas and chairs. I snuggled up with Edward on the love seat. He took my sandwich on his lap and fed it to me bit by bit. I wouldn't have thought that chicken salad sandwiches were a good thing to hand-feed but I liked seeing Edward happy and sweet like this. There was a risk that I would disgust his family by dropping bits of bread and lettuce, but it was worth it to have Edward so close and contented.
While I ate, Emmett channel hopped, Rosalie flicked through a magazine, looking up occasionally to tell Emmett that he wasn't watching 'that rubbish'; Jasper and Alice were in a world of their own, whispering and giggling about their 'campaign'. Esme and Carlisle were conversing quietly. It was a lovely, peaceful afternoon in the Cullen house.
It was Carlisle who broke the peace, standing up and announcing that he had to go into the hospital. He looked at Edward for a second, asking him something in his head. Edward frowned and shook his head slightly.
"I don't know why you're making me say this out loud, Edward," Carlisle sounded annoyed, "give me your keys before I go."
"I don't see why I can't be trusted anymore," Edward griped, but he handed over a set of car keys from his trouser pocket.
"Edward!" Carlisle said, getting even more annoyed, "the Vanquish as well."
Edward pouted, but he handed over a second set of keys.
Carlisle shook his head and left the room muttering, for a brief moment it was just like any other relationship between a teenage boy and his father. It was quite nice to see Edward acting so normal.
I stroked his cheek to bring his attention back to me and said, "are we a couple again?"
"I hope so. Otherwise it would be very improper for me to be holding you on my lap like this."
"Are you annoyed with me about the whole getting your family to over-rule you and agree to change me into a vampire thing?"
"I don't have any right to be annoyed. You knew what you wanted and you came up with a way of getting it."
"I didn't say that you had a right to be annoyed, I just asked if you were."
He sighed, "yes," he said. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know that you have every right to make your own decisions. But I think that you've got this one wrong and I'm annoyed that you ignored my view and went ahead anyway. However, you're not going to be changed until after you graduate, so I'm hoping to be able to persuade you to change your mind instead."
"Did you just say that you don't like it when I make decisions without considering your views? Is that because you have a patent pending on that attitude?"
Emmett guffawed, reminding me that this conversation wasn't private. But, while Edward was grounded, we weren't going to get any private conversations, so I would just have to get used to his family hearing everything that we said to one another.
"I wish I could read your mind," Edward said, "I would rather be told off in a way that only you and I can hear. The new Bella seems to be mad at me a lot."
"I'm not more mad at you, I'm just less quiet than the old Bella."
"You mean that you always thought that I was controlling, but you've only just started to tell me? Is this conversation going to end with you breaking up with me?"
"No, Edward!" I kissed him on the lips as hard as I could. I tried to keep our lips pressed together, but he pulled away easily. Edward had a level of intimacy that he would let us reach, and then he pulled back. Honestly, I wasn't absolutely sure where the limits were, but that hardly mattered. Edward knew his limits and Edward asserted them fiercely, at least that hadn't changed. "I love you and I plan on loving you forever. I can't imagine anything stopping me from loving you. But I don't have to think that you're perfect, only that you're perfect for me."
He kissed me back, more gently and slowly than I had kissed him, breaking the kiss as soon as his level had been reached. "I rather like being thought of as perfect," he confessed, "it's flattering. I liked it when you called me 'Perfect Edward', even though you were teasing me."
"I used to think of you as Perfect Edward. There never seemed to be anything that you couldn't do."
"He can't juggle," Rosalie shouted.
"He can't roll his tongue," Emmett added.
"He can't ride a horse," said Jasper.
"He can't do an Irish accent," Alice added.
"I can't live without you," Edward whispered to me.
"That's cheating," Jasper scolded, "that's not the right kind of thing at all. Bella wants to hear about real things that you can't do, like your inability to dance on your pointes."
"Why do you even know that, Jasper? When did you watch Edward try to dance en pointe?" I asked.
"We all learned ballet once. Alice wanted to go to a class and asked – well, forced – us all to go with her." Edward explained, "Jasper's right that I couldn't dance on my pointes, even though the rest of them all can."
"But, I can do that too," I said, delighted, "I did ballet when I was little, look!"
I jumped up and rolled up onto my toes, and danced a quick spiral around the room. Alice giggled and leapt up to join me. Then Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and even Esme danced. Of course, they could all remember steps from real dances and they danced perfectly, leaping and springing and twirling like professionals. They all sprang onto their toes in the Italian method, which was pretty impressive to watch. But, I didn't mind that I wasn't anywhere near as good as them, I was thrilled to be better than Edward!
Who would have thought that there would be something graceful that I could do and Edward couldn't? I was full of joy because it was fun to dance and it was amazing to be among the Cullens without feeling like I was the only uncoordinated one. Jasper was probably sending out vibes of joy, because I could hear everyone else was laughing too. We all danced and it felt like flying. Pretty soon, of course, I was out of breath and I had to sit down. The rest of them stopped as well, laughing like bells.
Edward smiled at me and gave me a round of applause. "There must be loads of things you can do that I can't," he said, "I never realised how happy you would be to discover them. You look beautiful dancing. I wish that you would do it more often."
"What else can't you do?" I asked him, before he had a chance to invite me to dance with him again.
"I can't peel a lemon and get the rind off as one whole piece," he said, frowning as he tried to think of a list of things that he couldn't do, but didn't mind telling me, "I can't tell what colours match. I can't calm people down when they're angry. I can't jump as far as Alice can, nor as high as Jasper can. How long do you want me to do this for? It's not really a lot of fun for me."
I laughed, "poor Edward, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just amazing to see this new fallible side of you."
"It's not new to any of us," Rosalie said, "we can help you make your list a lot longer, Edward."
He sighed, "do I have to keep going?" he asked me.
"No, I didn't want to upset you. I won't tease you anymore. I'll stop dancing on my toes."
"I liked that part of being teased. I think that watching you dance is one of my favourite things in the whole world. Though I like kissing you even better." He pulled me into his arms and began to kiss every part of me that he could reach. I was gasping and laughing as he kissed, and he was smiling and laughing at my squealing reaction to all the kisses that tickled. Then he sighed and released me, "can't Bella stay a little bit longer?" he whined, at exactly the same time as Esme said, "I think it's time for Bella to go home now."
Esme smiled indulgently, but still she said, "no, Edward, Bella has to go home."
"Can I take her?"
"Don't be foolish, Edward, you know that you can't. I'll drive Bella home," Alice said, "I brought her so that makes sense."
"Emmett and I will take the first watch, then" said Rosalie, "we can hang around in the woods outside Bella's house and keep an eye out for Victoria."
I was surprised. I would never have imagined that I would be able to forget something as awful as a vampire trying to kill me, but so much had happened today that I had completely forgotten Victoria. She seemed to belong to another life, before Edward got grounded and Carlisle promised to change me and I learned that Edward couldn't do ballet. I was shocked to hear the Victoria still existed in this new and exciting world.
"In that case, I won't be able to come with you to drop Bella home," Jasper said, sounding disappointed, "we can't leave Esme alone to handle a moody Edward."
"No, you can't come too," Alice said to Edward, too annoyed to even let him speak before she answered him, "you will stay here and be good. Don't make Jazz tie you up again."
"I'll miss you," Edward told me, holding me close and breathing in the scent of my hair, "please come back soon. Won't you let me visit tonight?"
"Oh, Edward, you know that I'll miss you too. But, we can't spend every moment together. I'll come and see you tomorrow."
"But not until the afternoon," Alice said. "You're going to be busy tomorrow morning" she told me, which was news to me.
"That's not fair" Edward complained, "why will you make me wait so long?"
"You'll have plenty to keep you occupied," Esme told him, "there's a trail of destruction waiting for you to straighten it up."
He nodded, "I'm sorry; I'll fix everything that I can and replace what needs replacing. When will you come back, Bella?"
"She'll get here when she gets here," Alice snapped, "now, say goodbye nicely." I wondered what I was going to be doing that would stop me running to Edward as soon as the sun came up. But, if Alice said that I would be busy, she was probably right.
"Goodbye, Bella," Edward kissed me again, on my lips, on my forehead, on my cheeks, on my hand, up my arm, then once more on my lips, "please come back to me soon."
"See you later, darlin'" Jasper said to Alice, still sounding a bit down at being left behind.
Alice whispered something to him that made him grin and he stood up straight, to attention. Then he put a warning hand on Edward's shoulder, reminding him that he was to stay put.
"You won't see us till tomorrow" Rosalie told me, "but don't worry, we'll be around." Then she took Emmett's hand and they ran off together.
Alice took my arm and steered me out the door. When we got into the car she said, "you need me to remind you of the cover story now." So we talked about that all the way back to Charlie's house.