Disclaimer: I don't own this show, I am still in process of watching all the episodes in this series!
Even though I shouldn't be able to, I can tell that this next dream I'm about to have has come a couple hours after the previous one.
The dream forms and I feel like I am submerged in this memory that I wouldn't even realize I am reliving in my subconscious.
Bleed is standing at the doorway of the hotel room that I am currently occupying until the band, now with a lead guitarist included, travel back to LA to lay out tracks for our new album.
"Yes Bleed?" I ask him, looking away from the mirror and staring in his mocha-colored irises.
"Derek, remember earlier at the band van where I confessed that you were my favorite band member?"
"Yeah…" I drag out, standing up from my chair.
He lets out a breath. "There is a lot more hidden underneath that that I feel like I should tell you, but the rest of the band can't hear it."
"Okay, why don't we sit on the bed?" I offer, and he walks around it to sit on it's left side while I take the right side.
"So what do you want to tell me?"
"I wasn't lying when I said that you were my favorite band member, because I have always loved you from the moment I saw you when I bought all four of your released albums." I feel a little flustered by this, naturally.
Bleed doesn't make eye contact with me and he fiddles with the corner of the cashmere blanket he can fiddle with. "But, then I realized after some time, maybe five months, I felt like that I was falling for you; like, falling in real actual love. I know that this might seem absolutely crazy and insane, but I really love you like a real love Derek Jupiter."
This is a lot for me to take in. I didn't except for this stranger, who I just let come into the band only a couple of hours ago, openly confess that he is in real, and possibility deep, love with me.
"Derek," he asks in the softest voice that I can ever imagine someone saying. "Do you think you could love me?"
I swallow. "I don't exactly know right now, maybe in a couple of months we could try it out."
"Are you afraid of being judged if we decided to hook up?" he asks.
"Possibly, I mean there is a chance we could date because I…" I can't let out the fact that I am bisexual out of my system.
"It's okay Derek," he tells me and it lifts this pressure off my shoulders and constriction in my body.
"Can we at least kiss so that I can see if this isn't just a fling that my mind has tricked me to believe?"
"I guess." I say, unsure about this. But before my brain can fully wrap around that emotion, Bleed's lips are on mine.
I can say that I have kissed a couple of guys before, before sober and drunk I can confess. But I feel like this is like that one kiss that just wakes up every molecule in your body and your mind forces you to embrace it, but you could care less because you are empowered by the kiss that the world around you dissolves into a blur of colors and lights, and you could care less about anything in the entire existence of the universe and everything beyond it.
I feel tempted, and I even feel myself trying, to get more of those fireworks, but Bleed pulls back first and he tells me that we should get some sleep, because tomorrow would be crazy getting back home.
"Sorry if I wasted your time." He said as he walked to the door.
"It's fine!" I tell him and he shuts the door, and I mutter that he didn't waste a single second and that I wanted to cherish that moment for the rest of my life.
I let myself fall back onto the soft mattress and the fluffy cashmere blanket and I fall into a deep slumber.
"Derek?" I hear. At this state, I am still under the heaviness of sleep so I don't recognize the voice.
"Derek?" the same voice says again and this time gently shakes me awake out of the drowsiness.
I flutter my eyes open and without turning my head, I see in my peripheral that Bleed is crouched by the bottom bunk that I sleep in.
I let out a groan I don't feel guilty about expressing, I am mentally locking away my dream-flashback in a corner of my mind that I will come back to later, and I tell present-day Bleed to leave me alone.
"Derek," he says in an innocent tone. Oh god, it's that same voice he used in my dream when he acknowledged his love for me. "I want your forgiveness."
I scoff. "Yeah right, just wait a million years and then I will forgive you for breaking up with me."
"But I am truly apologetic for what I did. I have changed Derek Jupiter and I want you back because I missed you after all those years ago when I fucked up really bad. Please Derek Jupiter, please forgive me. I will wait those million years just for your forgiveness to come out."
"Prove it that you are sorry and it's not just some stupid trick you are putting together."
A second after I say that, he pulls me towards him and kisses me. We then both get fully embraced into this, and I become hyper-aware of how much I missed it when we would caress each other. The same emotion when Bleed and I first kissed flows back into me. I kind of expected it thanks to the flashback I woke up from a few minutes ago, but the one in real life is twice as vivid as it was in my dream. Almost every emotion is gone, and only one feeling is boiling in my blood: true utter euphoria.