To the Power Born: A Tale of the Slayers

Part 27: Welcome to the Madhouse

Interlude: The training area.

Willow finished her spell, and the bodies of the four demons vanished in a flash of light. She looked at Buffy, grinned and asked, "Why can't they all be nice and considerate, like vampires, huh? No clean-up with vamps."

" 'Considerate' and 'demon' are mutually exclusive most times, I think," Buffy said. "Thanks, Wil— those things were starting to stink already."

"Not a problem," Willow said. She looked around as the trainees started forming back into ranks and said, "You know, I still get the creeps about some of the demons we deal with— and with those things, the creeps were seriously creepy, you— hi, Belinda."

Belinda Penobscot, Jocelyn's ten year old sister, was walking quickly and purposefully across the yard towards Buffy, her pseudo dragon Midnight draped around her neck like a scarf. She didn't answer Willow at all, and Wil suddenly felt the waves of sheer presence coming off of the girl, knew that this was not merely Belinda, but Belinda in the grip of the Powers That Be.

"Spider-woman should be allowed to stay here, as she may well wish," Belinda said to Buffy, her voice taking on that thunder of command as it had the last time she spoke for the Powers. "In the end, many skills will be required to save the day— she has some of those skills, can learn more easily, and may be needed.

"Jocelyn's answer to the problem of the star in human form is the correct one. When the time comes, assure her that we will do our best to protect him, to enable him… to live… and to… stay.

"We… promise not… but… we… will… try…."

For a moment, Belinda's pupils, shrunk to tiny dots in the ice-blue irises of her eyes, started to expand— then they shrank again, and she said, "The machine, the vampire and the witch are together— and their attack will be threefold, when it comes. Only… the robot… will be original. The vampire… will want personal revenge. The witch… will repeat… another's… mistake.

"All… must… be… stopped."

Belinda shook herself, blinked— and her eyes returned to normal. She looked around, confused, then said, "Oh. I did it again?"

"You did it again, sugar," Chantelle said, stepping forward and hugging her daughter. "You helped again— and I'm right proud of you."

"Well, I didn't really do anything, but thanks," Belinda said, and hugged her mother. "I like helping, even if I'm only helping by letting the Powers use my brain to tell you stuff."

"You did help," Buffy said, reaching over to stroke Belinda's white-blond hair. "You told us things that will help us do the job of saving the world— pretty big help, honey."

"Good," Belinda said. "Mommy, I'm gonna go back home and wait for lunch. Will it be soon? I'm hungry."

"Soon, sugar," Chantelle said. "See you in a bit."

Belinda hugged Chantelle again, then strolled off to their house.

"Okay, Elaine, take over the class for a few," Buffy said. She started towards the house, called over her shoulder, "I've got to talk to Dawn, then talk to Spider-woman when she's had something to eat."

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Jocelyn:

After listening to Peter tell the story of her life and how she'd come here, all I could do was stare at her for a moment. Then I saw her glance my way and blush, and I shook myself and looked away briefly.

"Okay, I don't know about anybody else," I said when no one spoke for another several seconds, "but I'm impressed. You're tough, Peter. You need a new name— but you're tough!"

Peter actually laughed aloud, then looked down at her lap, where Aunt Sh'rin's friend Shimmer was curled, then to her left shoulder, where Ripley still sat. "I… don't feel so tough. Not really.

"But you're right about the name. Unfortunately, the female versions of Peter just plain suck." She blushed scarlet a moment after realizing what she'd said, and corrected hastily, "The female versions of the name Peter suck, I mean."

"I get it, yeah," I said. I looked around, saw Buffy leaning in the study door, Pointy sitting on her shoulder, and nodded at them. "I looked the name up while you were in the shower. Ugh, Peta, Petra, yeah. Not good."

"How about Piper?" Aunt Rose said suddenly. "That's not any version of Peter, but it sounds close enough that I'll bet you could answer to it."

"Piper." Peter looked thoughtful. "I think… I think I like that, thanks…. How'd you think of that?"

Aunt Rose blushed darkly, but looked her in the face as she said, "I was thinking your name, trying to come up with alternates and I thought… I thought 'Peter. Peter Pan. Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers…' and there it was."

Peter snorted, shook her head and said, "I'll take it, thanks, Rose. Or— should I be calling you Miss Killian?"

"Rose." My aunt grinned and said, "Glad you like the name. Can I recommend getting rid of the 'Parker,' too? Might help you avoid the CIA and SHIELD when we figure out how to send you back?"

Piper— it was a lot easier to think of her by that name, I'll tell you— looked confused for a moment, then… well, she sort of deflated. "Go back. Yeah.

"Um. What happens if you can't figure out how to send me back?"

"Well," Aunt Dawn answered, looking a little surprised at Piper's subdued tone, "then I guess we do what we've done a few times before this, and see if you'd like to stay here, if you think you could be happy here. I mean— well, obviously, you could be of some help to us, and you have the right attitude, we know that. You jumped between a bunch of complete strangers and some very nasty monsters, that's the kind of attitude that we like around here.

"But really, it probably—"

"Could we maybe just… just skip even trying to send me home, then?" Piper asked, her voice low, and very, very watery. She was trying really hard not to cry, and not really making it as she continued. "I mean— look, back there I'll never… I'll never stop wanting to find a way to be in Peter's life, to be Peter. Constantly reminded of having been Spider-man, of the people I loved and can't ever see again, of— I'll go insane.

"I know you don't know me, and I barely know any of you, but— I don't want to go back!"

Sunset dropped off of Aunt Dawn's shoulder and went to sit beside Shimmer on Piper's lap, even as Glitter flew over and landed in her arms. Then Pointy flew over and landed on the arm of the chair she was using, and lay her head on Piper's arm.

"Endorsements don't get a lot stronger than that," Buffy said from the doorway. Piper looked up at her, confused, and Buffy said, "Telepaths, remember? Empaths, too— they know what you're feeling.

"So when telepathic, empathic critters that we all love and trust all try to make you feel better? It's like… it's like Captain America telling you you're acting like a real hero, I guess." Aunt Rose and Aunt Dawn both looked surprised at that, and Buffy held up a hand. "Come on, guys— I married Xander, I know my way around the comic book worlds."

"So… does that mean…?" Piper said slowly, looking up at Buffy and trying really hard not to look either scared or hopeful, and failing at both.

"It means you need to know one more thing before we decide that you're staying," Buffy said. She moved in and sat on a footstool she kicked over in front of Piper. "We're at war, Piper. There's an alliance of three old enemies of ours out there that want to kill us and everyone associated with us. One of them already murdered my son, tried to murder his twin sister, and killed Jocelyn's first pseudo dragon pal, and didn't miss killing Jocelyn by much. It's… this is serious. It's like what would have happened if you and Spider-man hadn't stopped the CIA and Doc Ock, only bigger.

"It's dangerous as hell— and there's reason to think that you can help us against these people. Jocelyn's little sister is subject to getting messages from the Powers That Be, and she got one a few minutes ago that said you might be able to help us at the end of this war. If you stay—"

"Of course I'll help!" Piper said, sitting up straight. "You're the Slayer— one of the Slayers, and Rose said you're… the Prime Slayer, is that right?" Buffy nodded, and Piper grinned. "You're the Prime Slayer, the boss. You want my help, you think I can help?

"I'll help. And if you have to send me back after that, I'll go— and I'll help you anyway."

"No need to send you back," Buffy said, smiling. She stood, offered her hand to Piper, and said, "Welcome to Team Slayer, Piper Parker."

Piper winced, but gently shooed aside pseudo dragons, stood, and shook Buffy's hand as she said, "Okay, maybe I should get rid of the 'Parker' anyway. 'Piper Parker' actually sounds worse than 'Peter Parker,' and I always did kinda resent my parents for that. But… well, I have an idea, I was thinking about names because I was going to try to get a fake ID if I did rob a drug dealer.

"Piper Benjamin. What do you think?"

"Welcome to Team Slayer, Piper Benjamin," Buffy said, grinning. "Want to come outside and start meeting people? Oh, and we should have Willow look you over, she might have to do something to help you stay— something about people from parallel universes tending to gravitate back to them, but relax— Willow's the—"

"The most powerful witch ever, I know," Piper said, and smiled a little. "I'm a fan, Buffy, I saw the whole show."

Buffy blinked and shook her head. "May never get used to that, but… well, what did this show cover?"

"It started with your first day at Sunnydale High," Piper said, a little grin on her face that she tried to quell, but couldn't, quite. "It ended with you looking out over the pit where Sunnydale used to be and smiling.

"I watched it all— with my Aunt May and Uncle Ben— before he died, I mean— and MJ was there for a lot of it. Uncle Ben liked it, MJ loved it— but Aunt May bought each season as soon as it came out on DVD, and she thought you were the best thing that ever happened to TV. You were… she called you the first fully empowered girl on TV, which, from my feminist aunt? No higher praise."

"That's… kinda cool," Buffy admitted. "Now I feel bad for not reading the comics about you, though."

"No big," Piper said. She looked around at everyone and said, "Um, before we go and meet people… what happened to my costume? I might… you know, want it again, sometime."

"It's in the dirty clothes hamper in the guest room," Aunt Dawn said, then shook her head. "It's more ripped than there, though. You might do better to ask Kelly— mine and Buffy's adopted mom, sort of— to make you a new one. She's great with sewing."

"And if you want something new," I added, "I might be able to help. I can get a couple of female hero costume blanks from Thomas— family friend and frequent game master who likes to run superhero games— and we can work on one together."

"That," Piper said, blushing just a little, but smiling a lot, "sounds like a good idea. New start, new life— new costume."

Buffy nodded as we all started for the outside, then said, "Hey, here's an idea for you— we have body armor that we wear when things get serious and we know that things are going to be nasty. It's really flexible, doesn't interfere even with Jocelyn and Elaine, who love their Capoeira, so I'll bet it wouldn't slow you down. We can get you a suit of that and put the design for your costume on it. Tougher than spandex or Lycra, or whatever that was that your first one was made from. You'd have to go with a cloth mask, I guess, but still— what do you think?"

Piper smiled a small but really pretty smile, and said, "I think that you guys all working so hard to make me feel at home here? That's the nicest thing that's happened to me since I was… uh, well, born, you know?"

"Good." Buffy led us outside and over to where the newbies were working under Aunt Elaine's watchful eye, and she started making introductions. Pretty soon, Piper had been introduced to everyone who was home, and she insisted that everyone know who she really was— that she was Spider-woman and not from this earth, I mean. She didn't talk to the other girls about having been a guy for most of her remembered life, and I didn't really blame her for that.

But when she was introduced to Diane Hodges and heard that she was a psychologist and psychiatrist, Piper said, very slowly, "Um… look, Dr. Hodges—"

"Diane, please."

"Diane, thanks." Piper too a deep breath and said, "I… went through some things recently that— I'm sort of… could I maybe… I can't pay you, but maybe…."

"I'm on the Watcher's Council payroll," Diane said, her voice casual. "Buffy says you've joined the team, so… you won't be paying me, the Council will, and you pay them back by fighting vampires and monsters.

"Yes, we can talk. Would you like to start now?"

"Uh." Piper looked panicked for a moment, then got hold of herself and looked at Buffy. "Is that… I mean, could I talk to her for a while? Please?"

"Go for it," Buffy said. "The guys won't be back for quite a while yet, we can make introductions when you and Diane finish talking, if they're back then. I mean, we're talking mini-golf, batting cages and video games, then a movie? They might be later than they said."

"Um, Xander, and Giles and…?" Piper asked, looking a mix of interested and a little worried.

"Well, let's see…." Buffy started ticking things off on her fingers. "Dawn's husband— well, not just her husband, hers and I already explained that when introducing the girls, never mind— group husband Ballard, Jocelyn's boyfriend Colin, you'll like him, he's a superhero, too, just from a different universe than you. Whitey stayed to help train girls, so that leaves… Riley, who's Giles and Kelly's son, Whitey and Chantelle's son Stephen, Ballard and Sh'rin's son Nathaniel, Elaine's son and Erin's twin, Graham, Rose's son Michael, and I think that's it."

"Yoiks," Piper said in a respectful voice. "With all the daughters… that's a whole bunch of kids."

"Yeah, but we love them all," Buffy said, and looked pained for a moment. But then she smirked a little and added, "And the older ones make great built-in babysitters."

"Okay, well… I'll be back out in a while and hey, Diane?" When Diane tilted her head, Piper nodded at Scooby Mansion and asked, "Do you have a map, or should I be looking around for some bread crumbs?"

Diane snorted a laugh, said, "Don't worry, I've been here enough that I know the layout. I stopped needing to blaze a trail years ago."

They walked off towards Scooby Mansion— and I went back to training.

Lunch rolled around— Giles and the guys were eating out, then going to a movie— and Piper and Diane showed up, Piper a little red-eyed, but not looking sad, which I thought was pretty good. I mean— well, I'd have been so freaky that Diane might have had to have Buffy put me in a straight jacket if I woke up as a boy, remembered being a girl, couldn't see my family again, and couldn't think of a way to support myself.

Piper went to talk to Willow for a minute— about a charm to make sure she stayed here, I figured— and Diane's pseudo dragon, Endorphin, relayed a message to Ripley (and the dragons of pretty much everyone here old enough to have hit puberty and not actually married).

*Diane say that Piper horribly confused right now,* Ripley told me. *She is scared over being a girl and not knowing how to be a girl, unsure about lots of things. So no one should say or do anything she might think is romantic unless she says or does something first. Diane says "Poor kid's got enough other stuff on her mind, how about you all ignore the fact that she's a very pretty girl until she can accept that she's a girl. Or else. And I'll ask Buffy to deal out the 'or else.' "*

"Tell her I understand," I said softly. "And that I'll tell Colin and Stephen when they get home."

Ripley relayed the message, and Diane nodded and smiled my way. Then Piper came over and asked me when I thought we could work on a new costume look for her, and I invited her to sit down with me and have lunch. We ate and we talked about a costume, and she had some ideas that meshed well with some of mine.

"I have to go back to training after lunch," I said after we'd talked about it for a while. "I can email Thomas before that, ask him for the file for female hero pics, then print a couple off probably before supper, and we can fiddle with it after. I'll need a shower before supper, or we could start then."

"Excellent." Piper looked down at her plate and sighed. "My god, I ate all of that. After the soup and sandwich earlier, too."

"No big," I said, and motioned at my own plate. "I had two burgers, a bratwurst and enough French fries to scare a normal person. We Slayers eat big to fuel our metabolisms, so I'll bet you do, too."

"I guess I do eat more than I did before the powers," Piper said, nodding slowly. "Just never really thought about it. Aunt May just wrote it off as a teenager thing." She looked sad for a moment, but I didn't have time to try and jolly her out of it before Kelly strolled over and sat down next to me and across from Piper.

"Get enough to eat?" Kelly asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Piper said, nodding. "Thank you— it was great." (Kelly had cooked.)

"You're perfectly welcome," Kelly said, and smiled. "Or will be, once you stop with the 'ma'am'— Kelly, please."

"Yes, Kelly," Piper said, and smiled a little.

"Now, on the subject of food," Kelly said. "We have a long tradition of new members of the family getting a 'welcome home' dinner consisting of whatever they want. If we can't make it, we'll send out for it. So… what would you like?"

"That's really nice, but you don't have to—" Piper saw Kelly's eyes narrow, preparatory to a glare, and she reversed course. "But since it's a tradition, well… I would commit almost any misdemeanor and some of the smaller felonies for a steak. A big steak. And a baked potato, a big one, smothered in butter, salt and pepper. And corn! Corn on the cob, and a salad, and those yeasty rolls that are kind of sweet… my god, I'm drooling, this is ridiculous!"

Kelly laughed and said, "How does Delmonico steak sound? Grilled by either Whitey or Xander, I'm not sure whose turn it is?"

"That's like… a boneless rib-eye, right?" Piper asked, her voice far away and kind of dreamy. Kelly nodded, chuckling, and Piper said, "Oh, please, yes. Very yes, and however much please you need!"

"No problem, then," Kelly said, still chuckling as she stood. "Supper's about six, we'll make sure whichever cook finds you to ask about doneness."

"Medium-well…." Pip still sounded dreamy, and she swallowed in anticipation. "Yeah, still drooling— and I just ate!"

"That's okay," I said, waving as Kelly went off to do something probably Watcher's Council related. "I'm drooling too, and I finished after you did."

Piper spent the afternoon watching we Slayers train, looked puzzled but didn't ask when I went off with Daddy to study strategy, tactics and the once-known-now-lost-needed-to-be-recovered art of not being stupid. Tactical simulations again, and I did a little better than before. My impulse to hit first and ask questions later still hampered me, and Daddy wasn't— well, he wasn't doing it to be mean, but he deliberately pushed me, didn't give me time to think. He demanded answers now when the situation would have done so. I wouldn't have had time to think in the field, so he didn't give me time to think in the simulation. That point, where I had to come up with the answer now, couldn't take time to think things through, that was where things broke down most often.

When we finished, I was again angry and upset— but Daddy didn't let me run off to be alone right away.

"Jocelyn, this is an improvement," Daddy said. He smiled at me, pulled me into a hug, held me until I hugged back. "Still not up to where you were before this whole thing blew up in your mind, honey-girl— but it's better. That means that you are working at this, and that the work is helping. I know, not what you want, you want it all back now— but it's improvement. Don't forget that, Jocelyn. Don't you dare forget that."

"Thank you, Daddy," I said against his chest. I popped up on my toes to kiss his cheek then said, "Still— alone-time required. Make sure everyone knows, please?"

"You bet," Daddy said. "Although, judging from the slight shaking of the ground, I think your well-named puppy may not be content to leave you alone any more than Ripley will be."

I let go of Daddy and turned to see Richter bounding towards us, tail wagging, giant paws absorbing the shock of his huge, puppyish bounds, half-floppy ears streaming, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth— and I giggled helplessly at his exuberance.

Then he was there, paws on my belly as he tried to jump up on me, and most of my doldrums went away. "Richter, you moose," I giggled. "Come on, puppy, lets go sit in the Glade a while."

The Glade was where Royal was buried. It had assumed capital letter status in my head, and I could already hear that capital letter in other people's voices, too. I went, knowing that Daddy would pass around that I shouldn't be disturbed for a bit, loving him for that courtesy.

I sat propped against a tree where I could see Royal's tombstone, and Richter draped himself half across my lap while Ripley settled on my shoulder. With the two of them there, both loving me unconditionally, I felt better pretty fast. In half an hour or so, I knew I could be friendly and not all grumpy, so I went back to Giles's back yard, arrived just a few seconds before the rest of the guys came home.

When I got out to the group, everyone was standing in a big circle and watching Aunt Rose and Piper spar.

Holy. Freaking. Crap! I mean— look, I saw the old Spider-man movies, the Tobey Maguire and the Andrew Garfield ones, and those had some amazing fight scenes in them.

The reality was a whole lot more impressive. This wasn't a computer-generated image or a professional stuntman, it was a fifteen year-old girl (who wasn't even a month old, some ways) and she was staying out of the way of my Aunt Rose, the most accomplished fighter in residence (before Buffy moved back to Normal, at least)— and Piper was making it look easy.

She bent out of the way of punches and kicks casually, often by bending in ways an ordinary person couldn't or that even a Slayer couldn't. She jumped completely over attacks, landed well behind Aunt Rose, waited for her to come in again, then repeated the whole process.

"Okay," Aunt Rose panted after a minute or so of that. "You can avoid me. Got it.

"Question is, can you avoid me and tag me?"

"Let's find out," Piper said, grinning hugely.

A hand slid across my back, came to rest above my hip, and Colin asked, "Who's the new girl, and how the hell is she doing… all of that?"

"That's Spider-woman," I said, not taking my eyes off of the sparring for even a second. "She's a superhero from a different universe than you."

"Holy crap," Colin said softly. "That's… wow."

"Uh-huh," I said, watching as Piper tried to hit Aunt Rose— they both had on pads, so it wouldn't be bad if she did— and failed. Aunt Rose didn't dodge so much as she blocked, which Piper wasn't used to, you could tell.

Finally, Piper over-committed, tried a front kick on Rose and over-extended— and my tiny aunt dropped down under the kick, locked her ankles around Piper's leg and rolled, taking Piper down to the ground face first— and popped her very lightly in the back, where the kidney is. Not hard enough to hurt, just hard enough for a point in a sparring session.

Piper… laughed. "Oh, man!" she said around her laugh. "That'll teach me not to get cocky!

"Can I get lessons? Please?"

"Absolutely," Rose said, helping Piper to her feet. "We can also get you lessons in tumbling— you're agile as hell, but everything you do seems instinctual. With some lessons, you'll be even more scary-hard-to-hit than you are now."

"Okay," Piper said, smiling and nodding. "You can hit me, that's something some supervillains couldn't do— I'm gonna listen to you.

"What now?"

"Now I think we're done for the day— the guys are home, come on, I'll get you some introductions." Aunt Rose led Piper over to where Giles stood with his arm around Kelly, and started there.

Smart, I thought. Introduce her to Giles and Xander, the men she knows something about, first, then move on to unknown quantities, very smart, O aunt of mine.

Which reminded me to tell Colin, "Oh, hey— I know you and I are a couple, and you aren't likely to anyway, but so you know, Diane's passed the word— no romantic nothin' aimed at Piper unless she aims something at you first. Not even jokingly, I think."

"Not like I'm opposed to becoming a triad, if you still want that like you said you did my first night here," Colin said with a wiggle of the eyebrows. Then he sobered and asked, his voice low and sort of ready-to-be-angry, "She been abused? If so, by whom, and can we get to where-the-hell-ever to punish them?"

"Not the way you mean, dear man," I said, and popped up on my toes to kiss him. "It's just that… look, she's a clone of Spider-man, made female by duplicating the X chromosome— and she remembers being Spider-man, being a boy. Fifteen years worth of that versus— well, less than three weeks of being a girl.

"She's really confused and freaked out right now, so Diane says we need to avoid doing anything to make that worse."

"Damn," Colin said softly, and shook his head. "That's— well, that she's not out of her freaking mind says good things about her. I'd probably just… I'd need a lot of time to adjust, if that happened to me. So, yeah. I understand, and I won't even joke about it."

"Don't feel bad, I'd go batshit if I got turned into a boy, I'm pretty sure," I told him. "So she gets all the space she wants, and I will remind myself not to tease her like I do every other hot female I'm not related to by blood or emotion."

Colin snickered, then kissed me— and we broke just as Aunt Rose reached us with Piper in tow.

"Okay, Piper Benjamin, AKA the spectacular Spider-woman, this is Colin Goddard," Aunt Rose said while Piper— five-four, maybe five-five— looked up at Colin. "Colin used to be the superhero Starpulse."

"Hi," Piper said, taking Colin's offered hand. She looked a little… overwhelmed, I guess, but she seemed to be mostly okay. "I hear that you can fly. I'm now officially jealous."

Nightfall, Colin's dark, purple-blue pseudo dragon friend grinned at Piper from Colin's shoulder and sent to all of us, *I'm the luckiest pseudo dragon ever. I not have to feel guilty 'cause my poor human can't fly!*

Piper laughed, an honest, open thing, and Diane, a few yards away, grinned hugely to hear it.

"You can dodge Rose," Colin said when Piper got hold of herself, shaking his head in amazement. "Trust me, I'm just as jealous. She beats me without even working at it every time we spar."

"But… flight!" Piper seemed to be getting kind of tense, but she managed a small smile— points for effort. "Seriously. That's the one power everyone I know dreams of having."

Aunt Rose caught the tension that Piper was feeling, and defused it pretty quickly. "Okay, Piper— Dawn wanted to talk to you about going shopping either after supper or tomorrow," she said, and tilted her head over towards where Aunt Dawn stood with Aunt Elaine, the two of them talking to Ling Han, one of the newbies who had been trained as a dancer before being Chosen.

"It was nice to meet you, Colin," Piper said. "Guess I'll see you guys both at dinner."

"Nice to have another not-Slayer-super-type around," Colin agreed, nodding. "Later, Piper."

Piper wandered off with Aunt Rose, and Colin and I started for the house. We stopped when Piper called, "Hey, Jocelyn? Got a sec?"

I sent Colin ahead, stopped and waited for Piper to catch up with me. When she did, she looked a little flustered, and she stammered for a sec before she got out what she'd come to say.

"Uh, look," she said. "I was… well, Rose and Dawn say I don't even need to— oh, hell. I was wondering if it'd be okay with you if I took your mom and dad up on their offer to let me stay with you guys. Long-term, I mean."

"My aunts were right," I said, smiling. "You didn't need to ask— but I appreciate the courtesy. Yes. It's fine. In fact, I like the idea."

"Okay," Piper said, blowing a sigh. "Sorry, but… well, your sisters and your brother were right there when Chantelle offered, but I wanted to be sure, you know?"

"Be sure," I told her. "I like the idea."

"Okay." She smiled at me a little shyly and said, "Dawn said Slayers don't sleep as much as normal people. True?"

"Very true," I agreed. "I actually sleep around five hours a night, and that after working out all day and other exercise."

"Okay, so… Dawn thought we should go shopping tonight, and she suggested after ten— Wal-mart is your friend!— so that there aren't crowds." Piper took a slow breath and said, "I'll get over my people issues— crap, no lying, Diane said I can be honest with you folks and that I need to, so I'll get over my issues with guys (especially attractive guys) eventually, but not right away. So there, that's maybe too much information, but anyway, will you come with us when she takes me shopping?"

"Sure I will," I said, filing away part of what she'd just said for contemplation, and I smirked. "I can maybe save you from Aunt Dawn's tendency to try to buy two of everything that even might look good on you. She's kind of a fashion fiend."

"Then I'm glad you're coming," Piper said. "I'm not ready to be a runway model."

"Nah, you couldn't do that without losing stupid amounts of weight," I said. "And you already need to put on some weight— won't be hard, the entire part of the family that cooks can really cook, you know?"

"I'm not gonna argue," Piper said, her eyes lighting up a bit. "I mean, two meals may be all I've had, but that soup was amazing, no way it ever saw the inside of a can, and lunch… yow."

"Just wait until dinner," I said, walking beside her towards my house. "Xander could open a restaurant based on his steaks alone, and Daddy's just as good."

Piper laughed and followed me back to the house, where Mom took charge of showing her to her room while I went to shower— and thought about what she'd just inadvertently told me about at least part of her problems with her gender change.