Disclaimer: it has been a little while since I updated, but the basics have not changed: I am not in any way affiliated with the writer or publishers of the Twilight series, this nonsense is my own tribute and toy.

It was surprising how easily Charlie accepted the sudden 'study trip'. Though, I suppose it shouldn't have been surprising things like that always seemed easy when the Cullens were around. It was other vampires they seemed to have trouble with, not humans.

Mind you, Jasper's 'phone calls' were very effective. The invitation came from Dartmouth, with a copy to me and one to the Forks High. It wasn't even as though the Cullens and I were the only people invited. Angela got an invite and so did Ben. But, Angela couldn't go because she had some piano recital already planned and Ben couldn't miss his track meet. It all worked out perfectly, but looked utterly unplanned. I began to see how the Cullens had managed to live among humans without raising suspicions.

Only two days after Rose had suggested it, I found myself in my room, packing a bag. I was also wondering why I was bothering with the packing at all. If I was going to be holed up with the Cullens for a few days, with no curious humans to see us, then I could be pretty sure that Alice was going to be in charge of my wardrobe.

Charlie hadn't actually seen Jane yet, at least not properly. I'd caught him last night staring out of the kitchen window with a half-suspicious, half-guilty look on his face. When I'd asked what he was looking at he'd jumped five inches off the kitchen floor. But, then he'd denied seeing anything. I suppose she must have let him catch just a tiny glimpse, enough to scare him, but not enough for him to be sure that he'd seen anything at all.

It sent shivers down my spine. I knew that she was nearby. She was always nearby. She listened to everything I said and watched every move I made. If she wanted to, she could kill me at any moment, easily. Nobody was sure – whatever Edward said – that the Cullens would actually be able to stop her.

I wasn't sure what scared me most. The thought of Jane killing me, or the thought of Edward trying to stop her. I had already seen what Jane could do to him. I knew that he couldn't stand up to her, and I really, really didn't want him to try.

But, he would try, of course. If he thought that she was going to hurt me, Edward would try to get in Jane's way, and he would fail, painfully.

I screwed up a pair of socks and shoved them into a tight corner of my bag, pushing down unnecessarily hard. Trying to shove down my own tremulous fears at the same time. Being scared wasn't going to help anyone.

As if he knew that I'd been thinking of him, Edward chose that moment to knock on the door. He, Alice and I were travelling to the 'study retreat' together. The rest of his siblings would be meeting us there.

I ran downstairs to let Edward in. Then followed him back to my room to fetch my bag. The curtains were drawn. I never opened them now, and I certainly never left the window open. It was enough knowing that Jane was out there, I didn't want to imagine her watching me sleep. Only one vampire was allowed to watch me sleep.

When he put out his hand to pick up the bag, I caught it and pulled it around my waist. It was our last chance for a bit of alone time, before we were surrounded by super-hearing vampires.

But Edward pulled away, frowning, "Bella," he said in a soft hiss, "we're not alone."

I looked around the room. Maybe I expected to see Jane skulking in a dark corner, or crouched under my desk.

Edward smiled slightly, "well, not actually in the same room, but she can hear and see us."

"See us? How?"

He cocked his head on one side and smirked at me, "did you think that we couldn't see you? Is that why your curtains are closed? Bella, they don't block much. It's easy for anyone looking up at your window to make out everything that's going on in here."

I blushed. If Jane could see through my curtains, then she could have watched me undressing, climbing into bed; she could have watched me doing even more embarrassing things, things that I thought I'd been doing in the privacy of my own room. I definitely didn't want to think about who else could have been watching me through my curtains. It was typical of Edward not to warn me that my curtains were essentially transparent, until he wasn't the only one in my garden at night.

"Sorry," Edward said, "I suppose that having me in your life has ruined it completely."

"Not exactly." I frowned and tried to think what I ought to be saying, "privacy is over-rated. Think of all those people who post their entire lives online, desperate to avoid any kind of privacy."

"Which is their choice to make."

"Yes, just like you're my choice, come on, let's get going. The sooner we're out of Forks the better." There wasn't really time to reassure Edward today. We had places to go and things to do. We had to leave Forks before Jane had an 'accident', or rather, before Jane was an accident.

He nodded and swung my bag up easily over his shoulder.

I ran down the stairs three at a time. Edward followed easily, whispering in my shoulder, "I've had very thick curtains fitted in our room at the cabin."

I wasn't sure if it was his cold breath or his hot words that sent a shiver down my spine.

Alice was driving today, I noticed. She'd brought Emmett's Jeep, and looked more like a pixie than ever, perched up behind the enormous wheel.

Edward held the door open whilst I got in. Then he walked around the back, stowing my bag neatly in the boot and sliding into the seat next to mine.

Alice pulled out of the drive fast, swinging the huge car around as if it were nothing at all. Her driving made me tense and reminded me of Edward's. I looked over at him in sympathy, "are you missing your driving privileges?"

He shook his head, "not today. I would far rather be here in the back with you." He cuddled me up beside him to emphasise his point.

We travelled in silence for a little while. At least, I was travelling in silence. From the looks that they were exchanging and the way in which Alice kept bouncing in her seat, I guessed that the vampires were having one of their silent conversations.

"That's very rude," I told them, "talking in your heads, like that."

Edward tensed slightly and sighed, "it is, my apologies, Bella. It's time we brought that particular discussion to a close."

"Or, we could resume the discussion aloud," Alice said chirpily. "I was just telling Edward that you would like to see what he's been working on, Bella. Wouldn't you like to see Edward's writing?"

"Writing?" I thought that Edward was the musical one; I didn't realise that he wrote as well. "Of course I'd like to see it. But, I'm not going to insist he shows it to me if he doesn't want to." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Really, Alice, you shouldn't use your gift to spy on people. I'd hate it if I thought that anyone was reading what I wrote in my journal."

"It's not a journal," Alice said. "This writing is intended for you; Edward's just being shy."

I smiled to myself. I couldn't really imagine Edward being shy. "You don't have to show me if you don't want to," I told him, "however much your sister torments you."

Edward scowled at Alice. "It isn't that I don't want to show you, more that I don't exactly think that this is the right time. While Jane is around, I don't think that the atmosphere is suitable."

Alice giggled, "you're running out of time, Edward. I simply don't see this working out the way you're hoping."

I considered that. "You don't see me returning from this trip alive?" I asked.

Alice scowled now. "I wish everyone would stop acting as though you becoming one of us was such a tragedy. I, for one, enjoy my life – and I do think that it's a life, whatever Edward may say – and I know that you're going to enjoy it too, Bella. There are sad things, of course, but there are sad things whenever we move on from one place to another. There's always someone or something to miss about the past. Before Bella, you" I was pretty sure that she was addressing Edward now, "used to say that you didn't care what we left behind because we took everything that was important with us. I don't know why you suddenly think that your family is such a terrible burden. What is it about us that means we're not good enough for you?"

"You're more than good enough," Edward replied softly, "you're far too good for me. I know that."

"But, we're not good enough for Bella?"

This time Edward didn't answer, he turned away and stared out of the window, watching the long roadside pass us by.

I didn't know what to say. I was wishing that I hadn't interrupted their silent conversation. This was obviously none of my business. Because Edward meant so much to me, because I didn't seem to have lived before he came into my life, I sometimes forgot that he had lived before we met. He had real and important relationships with his family. He had this incredible bond with Alice and now, now that I was around for them to argue about, I had caused cracks to appear between them.

Really, I agreed whole-heartedly with Alice. Once my change was over and done with, once it was a done deal, then all this agonising could stop. Edward and his family could go back to agreeing to disagree about the state of their souls and it would stop being such a horrible bone of contention. It hurt Alice so much to see Edward hating what he was – hating what she was – so intensely that he mourned the idea of me becoming that too. And Edward took no pleasure in hurting her, but he couldn't seem to shift his ideas. However much love he saw between his siblings, however much love he felt for them, Edward would always think of them as lesser beings, as damned. How could he pretend to want that for me?

Finally, Alice broke the silence. "He's been working on a script, Bella," she said. "I promise I haven't read it. I didn't want to! But, I know that he's finished it and he can't quite screw up enough courage to show you."

"Alice!" Edward yelled, so loud that the car windows shook.

But Alice wasn't even slightly intimidated, she giggled again. "Oh, settle down," she said, "you'll thank me later, I promise."