To the Power Born: A Tale of the Slayers

Part 36: Lancing the Wound

I kind of floated through that day at school, wondering if Belle was right and Judith was going to be a fourth for Colin, Piper and I. I didn't know her well enough to love her, not yet, but she was pretty, if in an unusual way, and I liked her. I figured that if Belle was right— and I couldn't know that, not for sure— it would take a while for someone who'd just come from the early forties to adapt to the idea, and tried to let it go. I'm a horny little sex-monkey, though, so that didn't entirely work.

School passed quickly, if we don't count world history anyway, and when I got home I found Judith sitting in the living room with a stack of books on the coffee table in front of her, a mug of tea in one hand, Ripley on her shoulder and a book open on her lap. As I came in, Ripley flew over to land on my shoulder, and Judith turned a page. By the time I'd gotten through cuddling with my friend and we'd exchanged "I missed yous," Judith was turning a page again. When I walked over to where she sat, I saw that this was a big hardback with no pictures and dense print— yet she read both pages in under a minute. She read for another thirty seconds, finished the chapter she was on, then put the book aside and looked up at me.

"You know, even accounting for the bias of historians and the bad things that happened, I find myself rather annoyed at having missed the nineteen sixties," Judith said. She stood and moved to hug me, if briefly, then said, "However, I think that missing the nineteen eighties balances things out."

"Could be, I said, laughing. "I have to change for advanced martial arts, then I have a session with Diane. Want to watch the class?"

"Yes, I think I'd enjoy that," Judith said. She stretched, emphasizing her height and thinness, then added, "Perhaps I could join, if there's a not-so-advanced class. I did have instruction in unarmed combat, first from Mother, then from a professional jujitsu instructor. I'd like to learn more fighting, that I may help when Team Slayer has something to deal with."

"We can always use more hands," I said as I turned and headed for the stairs. "And if you don't decide to be a professional musician, I think you'd make an incredible Watcher."

"Is there some reason I couldn't do both?" Judith called after me, her eyebrow raised, and a sardonic tone in her voice that made me think of her father.

I laughed my way upstairs and changed clothes, came back down and led Judith outside to watch the advanced combat classes. She seemed a mixture of impressed, amused and stunned. The stunned came from Daddy setting me and Berachah to sparring at full speed. The level of competition inspired us both to default to our favorite, best and best-loved styles, so she watched as we went after each other with Capoeira and Mossad unarmed combat, her eyes wide and amazed at the mixture of insanely acrobatic moves and incredibly direct and potentially devastating moves.

After we'd stopped (I got the best of the match thanks to the Slayer power letting me do things no ordinary Capoerista could do, the kind of thing you might see on a movie screen) and hugged briefly, Judith said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, Whitey, but what in the devil is that art Jocelyn was using?"

"It's called Capoeira," Dad said, grinning at Judith. "It's a martial art based in dance and acrobatics, originated in Brazil. If you're interested, Ballard teaches it, could probably work you into a beginner's class. But you should be aware— a lot of what Jocelyn does can't be done by a non-Slayer. Without the Slayer power, human muscles can't provide the impetus necessary for, as example, that gigantic cartwheel kick where she went, what, seven feet in the air?"

"I can certainly see that," Judith said, "but I still think I want to learn it. I'll definitely speak to Ballard, thank you— and I'm sorry I interrupted."

"No interruption, we're done for the day," Dad said. He looked at the rest of us, said, "Tomorrow, ladies. Go do what comes next."

The newbies went off to weapons training, I went off to see Diane, and Judith went to find Ballard.

I think I made more progress talking to Diane that day, but it's hard to tell. She seemed satisfied, though.

Supper went really well. Judith was visibly (and audibly— she complimented us both several times) pleased with the meal Kelly and I had collaborated on. She ate two and a half plates of the tortellini with meat sauce and meatballs, about a half a loaf of garlic bread, and a salad besides, then sat and looked at her plate in amazement.

"Good lord, I may never move again," she said, sounding kind of happy about that. "Oh, thank you, both of you. That puts the restaurant where I first had the dish to shame."

"You're very welcome," Kelly said, and I echoed her.

"However, I do hope you can move," Giles said, giving her a smile. "Ballard mentioned that you asked for Capoeira lessons, and if you can't move by tomorrow afternoon, that may get a bit awkward…."

"Yes, well I hope to be able to move by then," she said. "My god, I haven't eaten like that since… I think since sometime last summer. So… seventy-eight years, if you look at it that way."

She wanted to help clean up, but the adults put their feet down, and she simply sat and talked with Dad, Giles and Kelly about the history she'd read that day while Linnea and Uncle Ballard did the cleaning. After that had been done, Giles stood and offered his hand to Judith. She took it, looking a little puzzled, and he gave her a smile that those of us who knew him well read as his "I have a surprise for you" smile.

"If you would all accompany us to the guest house," Giles said, bowing Judith towards the back door, "I have something to show Judith that I do hope may benefit us all."

We all looked at each other, most of us puzzled, though I saw Xander hiding a grin and Daddy looking sort of smug. We followed them to the guest house that Giles had had built behind Scooby Mansion in the summer of 2003, and Giles led us to a big room on the first floor that had once been meant to be a library, but had never been used that way. Instead it had become a sort of recreation room, with a ping-pong table, a giant screen TV (that was now out in the living room of the guest house) and a couple of big tables for games or talking or whatever.

Now the ping-pong table had been relegated to the basement, the big tables were gone (to the library in Scooby Mansion, I found out later), and more couches, loveseats and chairs had been added around the periphery of the room, leaving room for the gifts at the center of the room.

Judith stopped and stared at the things in the middle of the room for a moment, then looked at Giles and said, "Sir, you really shouldn't have spent—"

"Hush," Giles said quietly— and she did, because he used a mild version of his implacable 'do as I say' voice. "Judith, you are a part of our family, now. A part of our lives. We take care of our family, and this… well, it may well enable you to adapt to your new home faster, in addition to giving us all some pleasure. I spoke with Diane, and she agreed that it was a wonderful idea, as creative people— such as musicians— can often express their feelings and excise their hurt best by exercising their creativity.

"That being said… would you mind playing something for us?"

Judith turned and looked at the five instruments in the room, her eyes lighting up as they moved from the flute on a small table to the acoustic guitar on a stand, the violin on a second table, the cello propped against a chair… and finally to the centerpiece, a Steinway concert grand piano.

"I think you will find everything in tune," Giles said. "I had professionals take care of that."

Judith turned and hugged Giles very hard, and said softly, "Thank you, Giles.

"Now… sit down, all of you, please. I think I will start with the flute…."

She played a couple of tunes on the flute, first Greensleeves, then a sprightly little thing that sounded like an Irish jig tune. She moved to the piano, played a couple of pieces, something I didn't know followed by Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, then a couple of classical guitar pieces on the guitar, a couple more classical pieces on the violin… and then she went to the cello. I could see— we all could— her love of that instrument as she settled behind it, caressed the surface of the instrument and picked up the bow.

Then she started playing, and I think a tone deaf donkey would have understood her love of the cello. She played a couple of pieces that I almost recognized but didn't know the names of, then she settled down… and just played. What came out was all her hurt, and loss, and fear at being torn from her home, but after a while, the tune shifted, became intrigue at her surroundings, delight in the existence of pseudo dragons, relief at finding a home, friends, perhaps even family— and we all simply sat and listened as she played those things.

Judith played the cello for most of an hour, and no one left. When she finally set aside the instrument (reluctantly), she had tears drying on her face, and I didn't think, I just got up and went to hug her. She clung to me tightly, shivering a little, for a long time— and when she let go, we were alone in the room, except for Ripley, who had moved from my shoulder to Judith's.

"Thank you," she said in a slightly watery voice. "I'm very glad you're here."

"Me, too," I said, and hugged her again.

When we parted, she said, "I need to find Giles and thank him again. Bloody wonderful."

"Yes, he does that a lot," I agreed, leading her out of the guest house and towards Scooby Mansion. "It's really kind of amusing, because he pretends to be all stuffy and proper, but he's really a big old sentimental softie underneath. And I will deny having said that."

We found Giles, Judith thanked him effusively, then she came with me while I took Richter for a walk on the leash, which he still didn't much like. I found myself grateful for Slayer strength, what with the way he strained at the leash.

Judith and I talked about the world, and she was soon talking about the differences she saw in my here-now and her own original here-now, speaking of both the good and the bad with a scholarly air that could, I think, only have come from someone who'd experienced both times and places and jumped suddenly from one to the other, especially with the differences in society that had nothing to do with the supernatural.

Finally, she wound down, and I smiled at her. "I could learn a lot from just listening to you, I think," I said. "As much as or more than I get from school, I'm pretty sure. Neat."

"I'm glad you think so," Judith said. "I had few friends at home, simply because I had picked up Father's habit of long, rambling lectures on whatever subject was on my mind, and most couldn't take it."

"Well, I like it," I said, and took her hand. "I like learning things, and while things related to the Slayers and the job we do are my first love, they aren't my only love when it comes to learning. I like most subjects, though I think I may never be a great mathematician. And it helps to have a good teacher, my world history class stinks because the teacher's getting old and near retirement, and he's forgotten how to be interesting— or maybe quit caring."

"I could tell you like learning from the moment I saw your room when your mother was showing me around, Jocelyn," Judith said, giving me that slantwise smile that I was learning to really love seeing. "Anyone with that many books is fond of learning— it's a simple fact of life."

"Yeah, I am a bookaholic," I said with a grin. "And I'm not even considering seeking treatment, thanks!"

Judith chuckled and said, "A girl after my own heart.

"Jocelyn, may I ask a personal question? You needn't answer, of course, but… there is something I am curious about."

"You can ask," I said. "I can't think of anything I wouldn't be willing to tell you."

"When you came home this afternoon, you said you had a martial arts class and then a 'session' with Diane," Judith said. "Is that because of the work you do? The Slayer work?"

"Only… only peripherally," I said, thinking about how to answer. "It's not the way you mean, I don't think. I'm not having difficulty with the danger or the violence, the killing of demons, none of that. I know these things are necessary, know it in my bones, and I have the power and the skill to face the demons. It's just… I'm not really sure that I'm supposed to have the power, not anymore."

"Why in the world would you doubt that?" Judith asked, looking at me sideways. "I've seen you fight, and you bloody well saved my life. How can you doubt that you are supposed to have the power? You were Chosen, weren't you?"

"Not really," I said with a sigh. We'd reached my house again, and I led her to the back porch and the glider swing there, unclipped the leash from Richter and sat. Judith sat next to me, still holding my hand, and Richter jumped up and got his front third or so in my lap. "Giles left a little bit out of the explanation of the initial activation of all the potential Slayers, Judith. Not to conceal anything from you, I'm sure, but to spare my feelings, to keep me from dwelling on it."

"If you don't want to talk about it—"

"No, I don't mind," I said. I squeezed her hand and said, "I like you a lot, Judith Holmes, and I don't keep things from my friends."

"You know," she said softly, "if you continue saying things like that, I'll be forced to think that you're trying to turn me into another Giles— a 'big sentimental softie' is the term, I believe. Well, it may just work."

"I hope so," I said. I sighed, leaned back and explained about my doubts. "In the short term, what Giles left out was that there were four potentials who became Slayers on the first Activation Day… who were pregnant. Each of them had a daughter, and each of those girls was born with the Slayer power, has had it from infancy. Those four girls… everyone thinks they're something special, something wonderful, that they're meant to do big things, special things. Their names are Natalie Moore, Jenny Carlotti, Mira Rodriguez… and Jocelyn Penobscot."

"That," Judith said with a slow nod— almost a little bow of the head, "makes sense. At least in your case."

"I don't know about that," I said, squeezing her hand in thanks. "See I find myself wondering… was it Mom that it wanted, and I'm just a side effect of that? Did it want Mom so badly that it took a chance on me? Am I just… icing on the cake?"

"That is absurd," Judith said. She gave me a stern look and went on, "I know only a very little bit about what you and yours do, Jocelyn Penobscot, but I know enough to know that the others look on you with… expectation. Pride. The expression on your father's face while you sparred today, that was a thing to remember, Jocelyn, because it was the expression of a man who sees something wonderful, something that he helped be wonderful, yes, but wonderful none the less. The others look at you the same way— 'look at the girl we helped become who she is, look at what a wonderful person she is.' I know that expression, egotistical though it may be to say it, because my parents both wore it on occasion— when they looked at me."

"I… thank you," I said. I wanted very badly to kiss her for that, but knew better. "Thank you, Judith.

"But still… I can't know. I can't be sure— because I'll never be Chosen. I'll always have to wonder if it wanted Mom so badly that it accepted me."

"Mmm." Judith looked thoughtful for a moment— then smiled slowly. "It occurs to me that there may be a way to… not dispel this idea, no, but at least put a hole in it that may let in some rationality. Or at least let some of the silliness out, that might be enough.

"Do you think that the elders of the house would be upset if I asked to speak to all of them? Immediately, I mean?"

"I… don't think so," I said, unsure of what she might want to say. "We can ask Dad."

"Let's do, then," Judith said. She stood, looked at Richter and said, "Down, Richter." He got off my lap and the glider swing, and Judith pulled me to my feet and inside.

We found Dad in the living room, sitting on one side of Gwen with Mom on her other side, all three looking very relaxed, and Judith hesitated for a moment, then went to stand before them.

"Whitey, Chantelle, Gwendolyn, I do hate to interrupt, but Jocelyn and I have been talking, and I believe…." Judith hesitated, then said, "Jocelyn told me why she is seeing Diane in the lady's professional capacity, and I think I may have something to say that could very well help Jocelyn get past her difficulties faster. Would it be possible for me to speak to all of the adults and all of the Slayers who are a part of your extended family? Now, if it can be done?"

Dad looked at Gwen, looked at Mom— and grinned. "Judith, if you think you can help, you can wake us in the middle of the night and we'll make it happen. Let me make a couple of calls."

Five minutes later, we all walked into the library at Scooby Mansion to find Giles, Kelly, Uncle Ballard and his various wives, Autumn Innes, the youngest Slayer around right now, Diane Hodges, Willow and Lydia, Vincent and Vi, Xander, Buffy and Joyce (with Ian sitting by Joyce and holding her hand). With Mom, Dad, Gwen, Colin, Mi Kyong, Piper and I, as well as a whole bunch of pseudo dragons, we made quite the crowd— but Judith showed no sign of nerves at all.

Judith moved to stand where everyone could see her, turned and looked at me for permission to go on, and after I nodded, spoke to us all.

"I hope that I haven't interrupted anything important," Judith said, looking around at all the curious faces. "However, I felt this important.

"A little while ago, Jocelyn told me of her doubts about her right to be a Slayer, and her uncertainty became obvious to me very quickly. After listening to her, a thought occurred to me that, if I am correct, may well help her get past those doubts at least a little faster. If I can help even by a small percentage, I will be very glad, for she has become dear to me. But I must ask a question, one that… well, I don't truly know much about how you operate, so I may be asking a delicate question, or one that is none of my business. Should this be the case, I ask your forgiveness in advance— I can honestly say I don't know if the question is one you will feel comfortable answering."

"I can't think of anything that could even possibly help that I would feel at all uncomfortable telling you," Giles said. "We respect the privacy of our Watchers and Slayers when we can, but I can't imagine answering a question about something that might aid Jocelyn in recovering her confidence violating someone's privacy. Ask, Judith, please."

"Jocelyn tells me that she is one of four girls born with the Slayer power," Judith said slowly, "girls born to four Slayers who were pregnant on the original Activation Day. So my first question is simple; how many girls were pregnant that day— and carrying boys?"

"Why, none," Giles said, looking surprised that he'd never thought of that. "Though we had some older girls— nine, in fact— activated the next year, girls who had been pregnant at the initial time of activation."

Judith nodded, then asked, "Giles… did any of those girls give birth to female children?"

Giles nodded and said, "Three of them, in fact, yes, Judith."

Judith turned and grinned at me triumphantly— but I didn't get it, and I could tell that none of the others did, either.

"I don't understand," I said. "That doesn't really prove anything, Judith."

"Yes, it does, especially given the added fact of three girls who were carrying girls on that day being Chosen late," Judith said. "Giles, how many girls were activated that day?"

"To the best of our knowledge, around two thousand," Giles said, looking puzzled. "Like Jocelyn, I fail to see the significance."

"It's quite simple," Judith said. "Giles, the power that animates the Scythe, that activates the new Slayers, it is sentient, yes?"

"Yes, it certainly is," Giles said. "All of us here have heard the Scythe speak, or nearly all of us."

"All right," Judith said. "One; the Scythe is sentient. Two; four girls who were pregnant with girls were given the power, and their daughters as well. Three; no girls who were pregnant with male children, children who would have been unaffected by the power, were Chosen that day— yet six were Chosen the next year— as were three young women who'd been pregnant with daughters at the time of the original Activation.

"The only logical solution to the puzzle that all of this presents is that the Scythe wanted both the pregnant girls that it activated and their daughters— else it would have skipped those four girls as well, activated them the next year!"

For a long, long moment, no one spoke. Finally, Xander stood, walked to Judith, stopped in front of her, dropped to his knees— and salaamed rapidly, chanting "We're not worthy! We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"

"Take that, you damned silly inferiority complex!" Diane Hodges said, smacking her forehead, then pointing her right index finger at me like a gun.

"Judith Holmes, you are brilliant!" Daddy said, standing and hugging me hard while I stood there with my mouth open and my head spinning. "Young lady, none of us saw that, and we—"

"Please don't berate yourselves," Judith said, waving at Xander to get up (and trying to smother a laugh at his antics while she spoke). "Mother often told me that a person who is inside a problem often cannot see the solution because they are on the inside— hence my father being the one who saw the truth of her family's deaths, a truth that, in retrospect, she saw quite easily. It is simply a part of being human."

"Hush, now," Mom said. She'd been hugging me around Daddy, and now she let go and went to hug Judith. "You done went an' saw a way to help my little girl, an' it did help— I can see that from her 'aw, holy shit' expression— so you ain't gonna be all modest about it. Thank you, Judith!"

"Way to go, Judith," Buffy said, giving her a grin and a thumbs-up. "Thanks. Thanks a lot."

I finally got my mental feet under me, and walked a little unsteadily— my eyes were a little clouded with tears of relief, though not total relief, that would probably take some time yet— to stand before Judith and look up into those bright blue eyes of hers.

"Thank you," I said, my voice ragged and weepy.

Judith didn't answer with words, just pulled me into a long, tight hug, and Ripley, showing her approval in the way of her people, wrapped her wings as far around our heads as they'd go while we hugged.

I got hugged by everybody in the room, and Judith got hugged by (I found this out later) those whose pseudo dragons told them that she would welcome a hug from them. That list included Daddy, Giles, Kelly, Aunt Dawn, Aunt Sh'rin, Colin, Piper and Joyce. The rest all shook her hand or squeezed her shoulder in thanks— and people started drifting off to their homes to go to bed.

I walked back to our house holding hands with Judith and Mom, Ripley on my shoulder and Richter bounding around the four of us like a happy tornado. In the house, I dropped into a chair at the kitchen table… and started giggling. In couple of minutes, that turned to full-bore laughter, and to allay the fears of those around me who were looking at me like I might have lost my mind, I stammered, "All this stupid beating myself up, just because I never thought to ask the right damned question— and along comes a girl from an Earth where we Slayers don't even exist, and she solves it on her second day here!

"I'm sorry, that's just hysterically funny!"

Daddy dropped into the chair next to me and hugged me, then pointed sternly at Judith, then at the chair on my other side until she sat and took my hand in hers and grinned at me.

"I'm glad I could do for you some of what you've done for me," Judith said— and chuckled. "I'm also glad you can laugh about it— that means you aren't kicking yourself over the situation."

"No, no kicking," I said, gasping for breath and trying to stop my laughter. "Done enough of that, thanks— but come on, it's funny! It's like something out of a Bugs Bunny cartoon, or something."

We all sat around and chortled for a bit, then I got up and said, "Okay— emotional relief can wear a girl out. I'm going to grab a shower, then hit the hay."

"Would you mind…?" Judith said, looking a little uncomfortable at the idea of saying the rest in front of the whole family.

"After what you just did for me," I said slowly and in unbelieving tones, "you actually have to ask that? Of course I don't mind!"

I showered hastily, came downstairs to find Judith in deep conversation with Mi Kyong, went to kiss Colin and Piper while they finished their talk, then went to hug the rest of my family since those two were still talking. Even Stephen, not so demonstrative since the onset of puberty, hugged me good night, and Dad, Mom and Gwendolyn all gave me extra-long-extra-tight hugs before Mi Kyong, her conversation with Judith apparently finished, came over and hugged me breathless. After that, Judith took me by the hand, and she, Ripley, Richter and I went downstairs to her bedroom.

"You know," I said as Judith gathered her sleeping clothes before going to the bathroom to change, "I kind of owe you big time after the way you just took a major chunk out of my mental and emotional mess. Now, you don't seem too tense tonight, but if you want a back rub anyway, I've been assured that I'm very good at it— and if you don't want one tonight but do later? All you have to do— ever!— is ask."

"I think I may just take you up on that," Judith said with a little smile. "Tonight, I mean. Let me change, I'll be back directly."

She came back a couple of minutes later in a T-shirt and sweatpants, and she pulled me to my feet and hugged me long and hard before she got into bed, lying on her stomach. (I tried not to make anything out of the fact that her nipples were as hard as diamonds when she hugged me, but horndog me, I couldn't help but wonder….)

Once she'd lain down, Judith worked her T-shirt up over her back and shoulders, exposing that long, toned expanse of back to me. I sat on the edge of the bed, ran my hands from her shoulders to the waistband of her sweats, delighting in the smoothness of her skin, and trying not to delight too much.

I rubbed her back, she made appreciative sounds, and after a while, she said, "I think you'd better stop before I fall asleep— with my shirt like this, I'd probably be hopelessly tangled up in the morning."

I chuckled, stood and moved slowly to the other side of the bed to give her plenty of time to get decent again. When I got in bed, she came straight across the bed and let me pull her close, sighed softly against my neck, and laughed as Richter jumped up on the bed and flopped down beside me.

"It's all right, he's welcome," she said before I could offer to chase him down. "I realize that I may regret that when he outweighs me, but he's welcome."

"Okay," I said, and stroked her arm slowly. "Judith… thank you. What you did tonight… well, that tipped the scales. I went from 'like you' to 'love you.' I know we haven't known each other long, but… I love you."

"Duration has little to do with emotion," she said in a low voice— and I was reminded of my dream-encounter with Royal and his telling me not to argue 'that silly human obsession with time and duration,' and I knew he'd love her, right then and there. I was grinning hugely as she went on. "In fact, it has nothing to do with it, Jocelyn— and I love you, as well."

"Thank you, Judith," I said, and squeezed her once. "Good night."

"Good night, Jocelyn."

We were both asleep ten minutes later. Judith woke only once that night, and while she did jerk awake, she didn't cry out— and she let me pull her close and soothe her back to sleep, which didn't take very long.

In the morning, she woke with the alarm when I did, and we went to breakfast together. No one thought anything of it, I could tell, or of the fact that she hugged me and kissed my cheek before I went to school.

School… man, that was a great day! In my two Slayer-oriented classes— Supernatural Beings and the combat class I had for PE— I found myself so much more comfortable that the relief almost left me gasping. I answered questions in Supernatural Beings easily and without second-guessing myself, and in combat class, I found myself being more aggressive in sparring— but without getting stupid or reckless. I had back most of my confidence, and it really showed. Buffy gave me a big grin and a thumbs up after I put the best-trained senior girl in my class out, three points to two, when I hadn't been able to beat a girl only half as good as her the week before.

Oh, I wasn't "miraculously freed" of my doubts, or anything like that. That sort of thing, it doesn't leave you just like that, not without something huge, huge and powerful, even magical, happening first. Judith's logic, no matter how startling, couldn't do that— but it did free me of enough of the worry and hurt to bounce most of the way back. I couldn't have led a team, not then, and I wasn't sure if I could go out solo or not— but I knew that I could work as part of a team and have no doubts about pulling my weight, not be afraid to offer suggestions to the boss, which, the day before, I wouldn't have been able to do.

So… improvement of the big variety. I felt good, really good, for the first time in weeks.

In class after school, Daddy worked me hard, and then— oh, man, then it got better. After the advance martial arts class, he took me aside and we did tactical simulations in the shade of a big old maple behind Scooby Mansion, sitting at a picnic table and going through scenarios from the Watcher's Journals as always.

I had eight clean wins out of ten, and one of my two 'losses' was a mutual destruction scenario— I 'died,' but so did the monster— so Daddy said, "Eight and a half-wins, honey-girl. Good job."

"Thanks, Dad," I said, and went around to hug him. I snuggled for a minute, then said, "Uh, Daddy? Honesty time for a minute?"

"It's always a good time for honesty time, Jocelyn," Daddy said. "What's on your mind?"

"I don't want to lie to you about anything, so I thought I should tell you," I said, looking up and meeting his gaze, "that while I don't think she feels that strongly about me, I'm… kind of falling in love with Judith. I won't stay with her on a weeknight past when she needs me, I don't want you to have a reason to not trust me, but… right now, she still needs me, I think. And like I said, it's not a two-way street, so nothing's likely to happen. Still… I wanted you to know."

"All right, Jocelyn," Daddy said, and kissed my forehead. "Thanks for telling me— and I do trust you, so relax.

"But I can't say I'm surprised at your feelings. She's very pretty, you love the books you've read about her parents, and she helped you over a big emotional hump. Strong feelings? Practically inevitable. Considering that you are your mother's daughter, strong desire accompanying those strong feelings? Yeah. As surprising as… oh, pseudo dragon babies being cute."

"You, honored father," I said in a serious voice, "are a total smartass."

"Yes, I am," Daddy said, and tickled my ribs. "Aren't you glad? After all, that means you can use heredity as an excuse."

I shrieked and wiggled away, and Dad laughed, told me to go do my homework before supper, and went off to tell the other Watchers and instructors about how well I'd done.

I went home, did homework, had supper, then let Colin and Piper drag me off to bed for a couple of hours— where Things Happened.

Piper made love with us. Both of us. She seemed… relieved, honestly, when we'd all finished and were just cuddling. She'd never hesitated more than an instant while we were doing things, and then only twice— once before oral sex on Colin, once before oral sex on me. Both times, though, she'd not hesitated at all once she'd started— and had very, very plainly enjoyed herself. When it came time to actually make love to Colin, she didn't hesitate at all— she admitted afterwards that by that time, the big hurdles had been passed.

"Well," she said when I asked what the big hurdles were, "they were, uh, oral sex on Colin— that was… I didn't think I'd actually like it, despite watching you and knowing that you do, Jocelyn.

"Then oral sex— making love to you— that one scared me because… because I wasn't sure I'd be any good at it. I was worried about making love with Colin, too— when we started, I mean— but by the time we got there? No worries, I was too freaking horny!"

"You shouldn't have worried about anything," I said to her. "We love you, Piper— if anything had been less than wonderful, we'd have forgiven you. Not like we had to!"

"You got that right," Colin said, and kissed Piper very emphatically. "You're an amazing lover, Piper. No complaints, just compliments."

We three snuggled, then showered, then went downstairs.

At bedtime, I went with Judith to her room without any discussion, and again, she woke up only once in the night, and I was able to hold her and soothe her into sleep very shortly.

The next afternoon after school, me and the other fully-trained girls got excused from the advanced classes— because we needed to be briefed on the patrol schedule for that night.

Nine people had turned up dead that morning, all of vampire attacks, seven more were missing — and Team Slayer was back on active duty.