Edward and I made love.

It was gentle and a bit awkward. It was hard and cold. It was terrifying and incredible.

And while he held me, his hands never trembled.

We lay together, so close that I could feel his body as if it were my own. My heartbeat was his. His strength was mine. We lay together, our bodies pulsing to one beat. It was the joining that I had longed for, the culmination of all our love.

There was no need to tell him that I loved him, he knew it, deep in his bones. And I was certain of that because I could feel what he felt. We were one. It was a moment of perfection.

It didn't end, precisely, but, real life, with all its problems and concerns began to fade in. I remembered Jane and I saw that Edward's thoughts were leaving our joint sublime moment. He was thinking of other things, just as I was.

I knew that reality had fully returned when Edward grimaced and said "Bella, my love, Jasper's here. He's waiting outside."

The ridiculous image that ran through my head at that moment made me blush bright red. There we were, snuggled in our post-coital embrace and Jasper was waiting to join us.

Edward pursed his lips and looked archly at me, "because we agreed that he would be the one to bite you," he said.

I giggled. Probably a nervous reaction.

Edward continued to look rather disapproving. He had enjoyed the pure union of pur bodies, but he was never going to enjoy giggling about stray smutty thoughts. But then he made a supreme effort and pulled himself together. He remembered the seriousness of our situation and looked solemn.

He slipped from the bed and fetched me fresh clothes. He handed them over with something that was almost reverence. As I dressed, Edward watched intently, memorising every detail of my human body. I wondered what it would be like for him to be able to compare my feeble human frame with the perfect vampire body I was hoping to have soon. Was he thinking about improvements to be made? Would he be pleased with the new me? It was too late to worry or wonder.

He'd chosen sweat pants and a soft turtle neck sweater. Clothes to lounge around in. Or - remembering what he'd told me of the change - clothes to thrash around in. I dressed and sat back down on the bed, pulling the pillows up behind me.

"I wish that I could offer you more choices," he said. "Honestly, I don't see any options right now. I can't exactly ask if you're sure nor if you're ready. I can only say that I love you with all my heart, such as it is. I am sorry that I can't fully repent of what I have done to you. I know it would be immeasurably better for you had we never met. But, I have never been so happy. Thank you, Bella, and, I am sorry."

"Please don't be sorry," I said, "I am so happy to be with you."

I wish that I could be as eloquent as Edward. He can express his love and his regret so well. But I never seem able to tell him how much I love him in return.

As if he thought that he was walking from my deathbed, which I suppose, in a sense, he was; Edward got up and walked over to the door. He opened it and Jasper, smirking, entered.

"You ordered a murderer," he said cooly.

Edward glared at him, "that is completely inappropriate."

Jasper just winked at me, not at all quashed by Edward's withering tone. I grinned back.

"Did you decide on how you wanted me to suck your blood, Bella?" he asked, with an accent that I very much hope he lifted from a movie. Not a good movie, either.

"None of this absurdity is necessary," Edward said with gritted teeth.

I sniggered.

"Obviously, I will be trying not to drink too much," Jasper said, "but, just in case, did you have any witty last words, Bella?"

I wish that I had thought of something clever. But, I'm terrible at thinking on my feet.

I just looked at Edward and said, "I love you."

Jasper shook his head, "very dull, Bella. Now I really can't mess this up. It would be terrible if the last thing you ever said was so pedestrian."

"Perhaps you should start planning your own last words," Edward said viciously, standing up now and coming over to the bedside. He was leaning over me, blocking Jasper's ministrations completely. Poor Edward, I should have known he wouldn't really be able to see me changed into a vampire. He hated himself far too much.

With a tut, Jasper turned to face his little brother. "Cheer up, Edward," he said with an unusual firmness. Only Jasper can make 'cheer up' sound like an order.

Edward chuckled in return, as Jasper enforced this command with his gift.

"I know that's you," Edward said cheerily, "you can only change emotions, Jasper, you can't change minds."

Jasper gave a half shrug, "you may remain in the room if you will endeavour to remain pleasant company. If you're going to be a distraction, I'll have to send you out."

Edward's smile didn't falter, but he struggled a little to get his words out. It was peculiar hearing him say, "please, Jasper, I can't leave Bella," in quite such a relaxed tone.

"It'll be fine," Jasper said, in his firm voice again.

This time Edward succumbed almost completely, flopping into a chair by the door and waving one hand dismissively, "of course," he said, "I trust you, Jasper."

"Good," Jasper turned his attention to me now, "and how about you, Bella? How are you feeling?" He quirked his head and mumbled to himself.

Edward chuckled again, "she is unique," he said. Of course he could hear Jasper's muttered words quite clearly. It was a relief to know that soon I would be able to hear just as well. Soon it was going to be far harder for the Cullens to talk about me right in front of my face.

"Indeed, Bella, you don't seem to need my aid in relaxing," Jasper said, "I suppose I should congratulate Edward."

That made me blush again. I hoped that I wasn't going to be changed into a vampire mid-blush. An eternity of flushed cheeks was not a pleasant prospect.

"I will try to help you as much as I can," Jasper said, serious now. "I can probably help you relax. But, it's going to be an unpleasant few days."

I nodded, Edward had explained this part of the process to me. And I remembered what it had felt like when James bit me. I wasn't prepared for the intense pain. How could I be? But, I did know it was coming.

"I'll do my best to keep Edward calm too," Jasper added, "but, you know how difficult he can be."

"Try to be good " I told Edward, "don't pace around snapping at everyone."

"He'll be a terrible nuisance," Jasper said, "but we'll tolerate him, we always do."

Edward scowled at us both, "I will worry," he said, "but, I will make every effort to avoid irritating you with my concerns."

"I think you may have the easier time," Jasper said to me, "however awful the change is, at least you don't have to listen to Edward's carping."

"Do you have to make facetious remarks," Edward asked, "now of all times?"

"I'm lightening the atmosphere," Jasper told him, "making things a bit more relaxed and calm."

"I don't find any of your comments calming," Edward said, "I find them the exact opposite."

"I'm not trying to relax you, Edward," Jasper said sternly, "you're not the focus of my attention at this moment."

He walked right up beside me, and I felt him envelope me in the soothing embrace of his best calming influence.

Jasper's eyes flashed black. I heard hissed words from Edward, but I had no idea what he was saying.

Jasper leant down, as if he was going to whisper in my ear. But I knew that he wasn't going to speak. He was going to bite me. He was going to change me.

I grabbed his arm and he stopped, looking concerned.

"Are you afraid?" he asked.

I smiled, of course I was afraid, I'm not completely insane. "I just thought of what I needed to say, before this happens."

"Just in time," he said, "what is it, Bella?"

"You changed a lot of humans, didn't you, before you joined the Cullens?"

Jasper nodded slowly.

"It must have been awful," I said, "all that fear and you, well, feeling it all. I needed to say thank you, Jasper. Doing this for me can't be easy. Thank you."

Jasper looked strange, for a moment he seemed a long way off and I was afraid that my words had brought all those awful memories rushing back, afraid I'd made it much worse. Then, he gave me a sad smile, "thank you, Bella. You see a lot for someone with such paltry eyesight." He paused. "This is different," he said finally, "you, Bella Swan, are unique."

"And uniquely precious," Edward added, as if it were a warning.

Jasper didn't answer Edward out loud, but from the way Edward huffed, I guess there was a sharp retort in Jasper's mind.

"I trust you," I said, knowing now what mg last words should be, "you are good men, and I trust you both."

I let go of Jasper's arm then, and looked directly into his eyes. They weren't black, not when I really looked at them, they were dark shimmering treacle.

Then teeth were on my neck. I felt a stab, like the feeling of a stapler.

Then the fire began.

The last thing I saw was Jasper, straightening back up, stroking my forehead in a carress that was probably intended to soothe. But, no light touch could soothe me. I couldn't even feel the stroke. All I could feel was the burning.