Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. Sorry for the wait, but my other stories sort of took hold for a while. Now, I'm back and I hope you're ready for some heartbreak. ... yeah, sorry about that in advance. This chapter opens up some doors that I'm excited to bring into the story. It makes for some interesting chapters to come, which I'm excited about.

Let me know what you think! Enjoy!

"You KISSED HIM?" Laura shrieked that night as she lied on my bed, sleeping over. Her mouth was open wide and her legs were bouncing up and down, looking like a girl about to see her favorite band, or meet them even. Her eyes sparkled as my cheeks reddened. "WHEN?"

I bit back some laughter, "Tonight. You may have been in the next room."

"OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU," she shouted, throwing a pillow at me.

"SHH. Before he hears you through the window," I muttered. "That's all I need. Better yet, I'm more scared of Rydel."

"She told me he likes you."

"I know, she told me too," I sighed. "I mean, I'm really happy about all of it. But I'm not so sure how it'll all work out." I glanced at the window, seeing the lights were off in his room. "I mean, he's got…"

"What?"

I realized what almost came out of my mouth. He didn't tell her yet and it wasn't my place to be the one, but how could I explain what I was feeling without telling her? She was my best friend and despite how loud she could be, the girl could keep a secret. But I felt odd telling her something that was so personal to him. She was staring at me, knowing I was trying to put together words for an explanation. It dawned on her when I just stared at the wall, hating what I had just done.

"What is it?" she whispered. "What aren't you telling me?"

"You have to promise you won't tell either of them I told you," I begged. "I wasn't supposed to tell you until one of them did. But you're my best friend and you are the only one I trust like that."

"I won't tell anyone."

"He's got cystic fibrosis," I explained. When she just stared at me, I gave her a brief description of the hell that I had been made aware of only a few days before. "It's terrible and there isn't a cure."

Laura was blinking rapidly. "It makes sense though. Why he was being so weird and all that. Oh my God. What are you going to do?"

I was hoping for some sort of support, or at least words of advice from my best friend. Her expression told me she was at a loss of words as well, and I sighed, leaning back on the pillow. "I like him. I like him a lot. I just don't know what it would hold for me and our future if we ended up dating, you know?"

It was a quiet few minutes for the both of us as we absorbed the information around us. "It really depends what you want out of the relationship, if you went into one with him. Is it a short term thing, or could you see yourself marrying him someday?"

I nearly choked at that. "Marrying him? What do you mean? I just met the guy!"

"Well, you said you didn't know how to take the relationship or what it could mean. There are different types of relationships. Short ones, and long ones. The ultimate relationship being marriage to another person. You're young, but it doesn't mean that you couldn't marry someone within the next few years."

"I don't want to think about marriage," I sputtered.

"Well, then why are you so afraid then?" she asked honestly. "What could happen to you both if you entered a relationship?"

"It's not things like that I'm afraid of," I explained. "I'm not really sure. I mean, he's got a different life than most. I want to say I can handle it, but what if I can't? What if what he's showed me so far is only the surface of his every day living and its even worse?"

"Well, you're not someone who I would say is superficial, or even someone who is easily scared. You're definitely more level headed than me, and you know what you want, usually. I wouldn't be able to handle it, that's for sure." She paused. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Are you afraid of committing to him and falling hard?"

I went to shake my head, but she stopped me.

She continued, "Are you afraid of falling in love and him not being there when you do? Are you afraid of him dying?"

She hit it on the head and the oxygen briefly left my body. Tears filled my eyes and my body began to tremble. I was unable to put it into words myself, but it was exactly what worried me. What would happen if I fell hard for the boy and he fell hard for me only to have it ripped from under us? "Laura…"

Laura shook her head. "You don't have to explain. It's okay."

"I don't know what to do," I muttered. "I really like him, but I don't know if I can do it."

I tried to hide my fears the next day when I saw Riker. It was awkward enough after the kiss, and he didn't need to know the girl he liked was concerned more so about her own heart than his. It made me feel like crap, knowing that we were barely what you would consider a couple and my mind was on things like that.

"I had fun last night," he said as we drove home, without Rydel and Laura who had plans to do something by themselves. Part of me knew that was on them to get us alone, but I pretended not to notice. "A lot of fun."

His words had a double meaning and I forced my eyes on the road so I didn't get us killed. "Me too," I said quietly. "A lot of fun," I added.

"Is this going to be awkward?"

His direct question set me hitting the breaks, thankfully on a side road with no one near us. Fear still leapt into his eyes and he turned to glare at me. "Sorry," I mumbled, pulling the car over. "I didn't mean to do that. I … I liked it a lot."

"Me too," he added with a smile. "So why do you look so sad?"

"I don't want to expect something from nothing," I lied way too easily, shrugging my shoulders. "Boys do things like that."

"Who says I'm that kind of boy?"

I shrugged again, giving him a small smile.

"I like you, Remy. You like me, you don't care that I'm sick, and most of all, you're a ton of fun to be around. Anyone else would've wanted to go out last night. We played with toilet paper."

"You know, some would be concerned that I'd rather play with toilet paper than go to a movie."

He snorted. "You watched me from your room the first night I got here. If I was concerned about anything, it would be that."

I blushed at the wide smile on his face and turned my head. "Damn. I was hoping you forgot that."

"It's okay, you're allowed to enjoy the view," he teased.

I snorted this time. He pushed me and finally I relaxed a bit. Right now I couldn't tell him what I was honestly worried about, but maybe Laura was right. It wasn't about anything long term right now. It was right now and if I didn't make the most of that, I'd regret it. Besides, there was a really adorable blond next to me, who thought I was pretty awesome. And who would want to turn that down?

I'm unbelievably nosy. Laura tells me so. My parents tell me so. Everyone knows I am. So when Riker found me in his room the next day, looking at his medications on the counter, he really shouldn't have been surprised. I felt guilty right away. It was an invasion of privacy that I knew was wrong the moment I did it, but I was curious. He had so many different bottles on the counter, some I couldn't even pronounce, all filled with medications.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

I jumped. "I'm sorry," I swore as I dropped one of the bottles, and it rolled in his direction.

He glanced at me and then picked up the bottle, smiling at me. "If you wanted to know, you just had to ask." He showed the label to me. "Prilosic OTC. It protects my stomach from the many medications I take and also helps reduce acid." He picked up another, an inhaler. "Spiriva. Usually used with those with other lung problems, also helps clear my airways for when I can't breath." He picked up another and my head spun. "Antibiotic, helps prevent infections before they start."

"I'm sorry, again… I was just curious … I don't have much self control."

He laughed at this and pulled me over until he sat on the bed with me. "Don't be afraid to ask me questions. If I wanted to hide secrets from you, you wouldn't even know about the disease at all. I'd much rather you be open with me than not." I nodded, swallowing hard. Again, the thoughts of him becoming really sick came to mind, but I pushed them away. He was staring into my eyes when I looked up. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"Well, would a movie be too mainstream for you, or would you like to go to one?"

His grin made me laugh and I forgot about the worries once more.

The thing about Riker was… when you were around him, it was hard not to be happy. I was pretty surprised that someone with a grim outlook for his future health, could be so happy. If it were me, I would have been terrified to even leave my house, let alone go to a movie theater where people were covered in germs.

"I'm not stupid, you know," he said into the previews.

I glanced his way. "What?"

He turned to face me and gave me a look. "You've looked freaked out for the last two days."

Everything froze in that moment and my guilt was quite see through. "Um…"

He sighed, as if he wasn't surprised. "Remy, the only way this is going to work is if you're honest with me. I'm asking for only that. Please… don't act like this."

His words stung and I blinked several times, still in shock that he was that good a judge of character. My face flushed as I found myself unable to form words, instead just burrowing my face into my sweater. He gently grabbed my hands, his so soft and absolutely warm, pulling me towards him with ease. For such a skinny guy, he was strong. "Remy," he murmured. "Please look at me."

I glanced up, my eyes timidly meeting his. "I don't know what to say."

"Why is that?"

He didn't say it the way I took it, but it sort of made me want to laugh. I always knew what to say. I didn't go without words often, and this made me feel pretty stupid. "It's complicated," I tried to explain, but even that sounded wrong. It wasn't complicated. If I told him I was afraid for the future, it would sound ridiculous. We weren't exactly a couple and who knew if he wanted what I wanted, or if any of this was just him being nice. I mean, he said he liked me. But maybe it was different than what I felt. Maybe I was completely crazy. I glanced up again, knowing I had gotten lost in my own thoughts. He hadn't broken his gaze.

"Trying to put this into words makes me think you'll think I'm nuts," I said with sad eyes.

"Didn't I tell you if I thought you were nuts, I'd be long gone already?"

His smile didn't help me. "Stop with the joking," I muttered. "It's stupid. Honestly."

"Maybe it is," he agreed. "But talking about it usually helps."

"I'm stupid," I clarified with a groan. "And I just ruined our first date."

He didn't correct me on the word date, so at least I knew he counted it as such, as well. And he didn't say I ruined it, but I still had time to do that. I didn't belong getting involved with someone like him. He was patiently waiting for me to answer him and I was ready to run out the door. Something there alone told me that this was going to be a problem.

"Remy, look at me." His gaze was going to drive me nuts. "Please try and put it into words."

"Maybe we shouldn't do it here then," I said quietly. "The movie starts soon and I don't want to cause a scene."

He nodded, getting up and taking me from the theater. I found words then, apologizing over and over again for how pathetic this all was, how absolutely ridiculous the things I was thinking of were. We found ourselves alone in my car and I thought about what Laura had said. She told me I could handle this. Maybe I could. But he had to know what I was thinking because much like he said, it wasn't going to work if not. "Before I get into it, I want to know what you want out of this," I said.

He glanced at me from his seat. "What do you mean?"

"What do you want? I mean, do you want to be my boyfriend."

"I wouldn't have asked you to the movies if I didn't," he told me honestly.

I nodded. "I'm going to sound a bit… selfish with what I say next, but please don't go running out the door." He nodded slowly. "I'm worried about what could happen," I admitted quietly. "I'm scared I'm going to fall really hard for you, because I can feel it already, and I'm scared that something is going to happen. Either between us as a relationship… or something with your CF. It's stupid of me, for me to be afraid, when I'm not the one who is sick, but there, that's it. I'm scared I'm going to fall hard and then be the one to pick up the pieces. I mean, it doesn't help that you're the first person I've really ever liked. And that sounds like some terrible teenage book where the guy comes in and changes my life, but it's sort of happened and I don't understand how."

He didn't look disgusted or like he wanted to run out the door. I didn't even think he wanted to hit me. Score. "It's understandable," he agreed, shaking his head. "And that is my biggest concern. Honestly, and you don't have to agree to this, but at least for most people I've met and the friends I have made over the years, the ones who don't plan on sticking around usually run the second I tell them. You didn't do that, so I know you're different. And you're right, I can't promise anything to you. I could live to be old one day, or I could die in the next year. That's the way this works, and there is nothing I can do to change that." He sighed, taking my hands. "What I can tell you is that we can take things slow. Maybe actually go to a movie and just see how you feel about this. Maybe a trial period even. We won't even say we're dating. We'll just be friends. And if you can't handle it, I won't hold it against you." He glanced my way again. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you wouldn't be the first."

I felt sick to my stomach. "I don't want to hurt you, though."

"Remy, I wake up everyday and think of it as a blessing. I'm ready to take that risk. That's life, you know?"

I nodded, feeling slightly better, but not much. I couldn't help but by telling him that it changed things, and maybe Laura was wrong. I couldn't handle it. And he was preparing himself for that right now by telling me that. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. So, let's just take this day by day. Do you want to go back to the movie or do you want to go home?"

I couldn't bare to look at myself, let alone him so I shook my head weakly.

"Laura, I don't know what to do. I think I hurt him and that was the only thing I didn't want to do for sure," I groaned into the phone, staring at his room from my own. I had been home for an hour now and didn't feel any better about the situation. "I feel absolutely fucking ridiculous, like a child and that makes me want to scream."

"I don't know what to tell you," Laura said with a sigh. "He opened up to you, though. I mean, that means a lot coming from him and considering how he acted when he told you, it means he trusts you. Maybe you should put some trust into him. He can't help that he's sick. And it probably doesn't help that the one person who seemingly was okay with it just had second doubts."

"I'm a horrible person," I groaned.

"You're a person," she disagreed. "With feelings, just like him. It's not wrong to want to protect your heart."

"I know," I said quietly. I looked over to his window once more, staring at the dark outline. I could see the living room from where I sat, dimly lit like a movie was playing. I growled at my own stupidity, and then sighed again. "I need to think about this first. I don't want to give him another answer only to back out again."

A few minutes later, Laura had to go so I got onto my laptop, researching what daily life was like for someone his age. I found myself on youtube, watching video after video, getting more emotional by each one.

There was one couple, a young girl and her boyfriend who came onto the screen. She was 19 and had been diagnosed with CF when she was a baby. She spoke about how she was in love with the boy, and he seemed proud to be at her side. They spoke about the constant struggle they faced as a young couple with such an odd future. He turned to the screen and shrugged. "You know, sometimes I feel pretty angry myself. It makes me feel worthless, like I should be happy because I'm not like her. I will live to an old age. And then I think about it some more… if there is one thing I do believe in, it's fate. Yeah, maybe our situation is a bit weird. But we're working on it daily. There are so many medical achievements in this disease, and the outlook is much more bright then it was even ten years ago. We're young, but we've been together a few years already. I have no doubt in my mind I want to spend rest of my life with this girl, no matter what obstacle life wants to throw our way. It's just how it is. I didn't ask for this, but it's what I have and I'm going to make the best out of it. She makes me so happy, and I love to see her every morning when I wake up. Why would I compromise that just because it's not what I expected when I met her?"

I slammed my computer closed, my eyes wet yet I felt better than I did all evening. I glanced at the living room again, seeing the light had changed and it was brighter. Which probably meant the movie was over.

Maybe the guy on the video was right. Yeah, it wasn't what I had expected, but maybe I was meant to meet the skinny boy with the bright smile when he moved in next door. I liked him. He liked me. And he made me happy, so why would I ruin that with fear? I laughed for the first time in hours, got up and ran next door.