Author's Note: Yes, I most absolutely am the Grammar Police. Okay, maybe I'm fresh out of the Grammar Police Academy. Alright, there are just a few rules (the unidentified pronoun gender rule, the punctuation and quotation rule, certain helping verb rules, sometimes the rule about never ending a sentence with a preposition, and the rule concerning was and were when it comes to speaking hypothetically) that I really value. Don't get me wrong, I mess up all the time (especially when speaking), but I hate when people use periods in front of quotations when there's more to the sentence. That one just irks me. (My eyes are actually just twitched just thinking about it.) So anyway, enjoy. And please, feel free to correct whatever grammatical mistakes you find in this story. I'll find it most amusing, but I'll probably be too lazy to do anything about it. (Sad but true.)

As Percy had expected, most of the Ministry's employees were too hung over to actually get any work done on New Year's Day, but they were still required to come in that day. They'd already closed the Ministry on Christmas so they certainly couldn't close again.

The Simmons and Percy had celebrated a rather quite new year; there really was nothing to do when stuck in a little cottage unable to take part in anyone else's celebrations. Therefore, Percy was perfectly sober the next morning (though a little drowsy from staying up till midnight just too watch the clock tick and listen Audrey and Joey scream "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" right in his ear).

The girl in the desk across from his groaned loudly.

"How much did you have to drink last night?" he asked her, almost amused.

"I lost count after….six," she mumbled.

"Six what?" Percy wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

She just groaned in reply.

"Do you have a hangover potion?" he asked.

"I have a recipe for one, but my head hurts too much to make it….." she groaned again. "Now stop talking! You're making my head hurt worse!" There was a thump as her head collided with the desk.

Percy sighed and walked over to her desk. Apparently, she'd spent the entire morning attempting to read the potion's recipe as it was still in her hand. Seeing that it wouldn't be difficult to make, Percy stopped by the apothecary department during his lunch break, intent on making the potion for his co-worker. As a friendly gesture.

Unfortunately, once he'd made a batch, half of the Ministry showed up at his desk, begging for some. By the time he finally was able to go home that night, he'd visited the apothecary twelve times and sent hung-over coworkers for more ingredients there at least twice as many times.

And of course, as though his day hadn't gone badly enough, he was stopped on his way out by Yaxley. "What's with all the commotion?"

"They should have closed today," Percy grumbled.

"Sorry?" Yaxley asked. In the past few weeks, he'd become extremely tough on anyone or anything anti-Ministry.

"I have spent the entire day making hangover potions. This report is due in two days and I barely got started on it!" Percy knew that he would probably regret saying that, but as frustrated as he was at this point, he didn't really care.

"Why were you making hangover potions?"

"I was trying to help a coworker," Percy replied bitterly. "Someone heard that I was making hangover potions and then everyone found out."

"And why were you trying to help them?"

Percy flinched. When you don't know the gender of the person about which you were speaking, you do not say "they" or "them" as those are plural pronouns. If you were only discussing one person, but you were unaware of what gender to use, you used "he" or "him." True, Audrey would probably call him sexist for even thinking that, but it was true. There are in fact rules in the English language, but sometimes Percy felt like the only person in the whole world who could actually speak English.

"What's wrong?"

"Sorry, your grammar. I just…..Never mind," Percy figured it would be best not to anger Yaxley anymore than he actually was. "I was just trying to be a good coworker. That's all. I actually wasn't planning on taking any time away from work for it. I made the potion while I ate my lunch."

Yaxley glared. "Well, don't let it happen again."

"Don't worry. It won't," Percy said honestly as he gathered his things to go.

"Now where you goin'?"

"Home," Percy sighed. "I need to work on this report."

XXX

"And how was your day today?" Audrey asked as she helped Percy remove his coat.

"Please don't ask me about that," Percy said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"That bad, huh?" she asked, sympathetically.

"As I expected, pretty much everyone was too hung over to get any work done and I after lunch, I spent the entire day making hangover potions! So I barely even started on this report that's due day after tomorrow AND THEN!" He took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm down, "And then Yaxley and I were talking about a coworker of mine and he said 'them.'"

"Come again?" Audrey asked, bewildered.

"HE DIDN'T KNOW THE GENDER OF MY COWORKER SO HE SAID 'THEM' INSTEAD OF 'HIM!'" Percy shouted.

"He what?" Audrey's jaw dropped. "He works in the Ministry and he can't even speak his native language?"

"Yeah, and he has a high position…." Percy stopped and blinked. "You agree with me?"

"Well, yeah, I think if you're going to have a high-ranking position in government, you should be able to use proper grammar. 'They' is plural, damn it!"

"I know!"

"Or when people put a period before a quotation mark?"

"Huh?"

"Okay, if there are words following a quote, such as, 'said Bob' you wouldn't use a period in front of the second quotation. You would use a comma."

"Yes! I hate when people do that! I…." Percy stopped and took time to look at Audrey. Really look at her. He thought back to Christmas, when she'd kissed him on the cheek while they stood under the mistletoe. He wondered what it'd be like to actually kiss her…. "You know, I don't think I've ever told you how incredibly amazing you are."

"Never as much as I deserve, at least," Audrey grinned.

Percy grinned and leaned forward…

"Are you guys really bonding over grammar?" Joey called from the living room.

Audrey and Percy stood back up and she smoothed back her hair. "I haven't heard you having any deep, insightful conversations with anyone lately!" she called back.

"Whatever," he grumbled.

"Um," Audrey turned back to Percy. "Well, I should go….I think Mum needed help with the….."

"Yeah, I need to work on this report," Percy said. He nodded to her and they both left the entrance in their respective directions. Very separate, respective directions.

Percy grumbled incoherently about Joey ruining everything wondered, just what would have happened if he hadn't interrupted. But no, he and Audrey were just friends. Good friends. Really good friends. Yes.

And yet, the Simmons (not counting Audrey, of course) didn't understand why Audrey and Percy refused to look Joey in the eye, let alone speak to him, the rest of the night.