Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to the show or characters of Pretty Little Liars. I'm only borrowing and playing with them. I'll give them back relatively unscathed….
Well, I didn't think I'd be back with an update for a while but I had some free time today to do some editing so here we are.
Splitting the last chapter in the middle totally screwed up the flow of some things in the story, so I've had my work cut out for me. I had to flip flop a couple of things but I actually think it works better in the long run so I'm happy. This chapter is still too freaking long but…. hopefully no one will mind. ;)
There is some sensitive subject matter in this chapter. I tried to address the subject matter in a considerate and realistic manner without making light of it. There is nothing light about mental illness but there are varying degrees of severity.
This is pretty much the last of the drama because we're getting close to the end of the story anyway. I will try to get the next chapter edited and up sometime later this week if I can.
With that said….. Thanks again as always for reading and taking the time to review. All your kind words warm my heart.
Enjoy!
Chapter 7
Emily flopped back onto the king size bed, moaning and closing her eyes as her body sank into the soft mattress. She heard Alison chuckle as she walked out of the attached bathroom.
"That was a pretty sexy moan in response to that bed," Alison said as she kicked off her low heels. "I don't think I've ever heard you moan like that, even for me.
Emily smiled, knowing full well that the moans Alison managed to pull from her were far more erotic. "I think this is the most comfortable bed I've ever been on."
Alison padded over the carpet and climbed onto the bed beside Emily before straddling her girlfriend's hips. "Well I'm glad to hear that. We're gonna spend a lot of time in it over the next few days." She shifted her short dress, lifting it and flaring it out around them. It was Alison's turn to moan as she wiggled gently and her pelvis ground down on Emily's.
"Ali," Emily groaned as she gripped Alison's thighs gently.
"I'm gonna rock your world this weekend, Em," Alison's voice hitched and she deliberately rolled her hips in circles as she slid her hands beneath Emily's t-shirt.
Emily grabbed Alison's wrist and pulled her down, rolling them both to their sides. Alison squealed softly and Emily captured her lips in a soft kiss. Alison's squeal morphed into another low moan as she pressed close to her girl, the kiss deepening.
Emily lifted Alison's leg over her hip. She slid her fingers up the back of Alison's bare thigh, making the blonde shudder softly as her fingertips made slow circles on the warm skin.
The kiss softened and their lips parted. Alison sighed and her eyes fluttered open. "Hi," she grinned.
Emily smiled in return. "Hi."
Emily's hand lifted from Alison's thigh to her cheek. She brushed some strands of Alison's golden hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.
"This hotel is amazing, Ali." Emily looked around the room briefly, noting the expensive furnishings. "It must be incredibly expensive."
Alison shrugged. "I guess." Then she grinned. "But it's on my dad."
Emily pushed up on her elbow. "We could have stayed at the dorm. It wouldn't have mattered to me as long as we were together."
Alison lifted her fingers to Emily's lips. She fluttered her fingers softly before leaning forward to kiss Emily again as she smiled against her lips.
"Me too," Ali replied as she pulled back. "But I guess he feels like he has a couple years of Christmases to catch up on."
Emily dropped her hand back to Alison's thigh and slid her fingers beneath her dress. "Well I guess we should just enjoy it then."
Alison's eyes darkened and her lips curled in a sultry smile. "Oh, we will."
Emily kissed Alison again as her fingers left goose bumps on the blonde's skin.
Alison slid her arm around Emily's waist and wiggled closer. "The bathroom shower has waterfall shower heads," she murmured against Emily's lips.
"We just took a shower three hours ago." Emily chuckled as she reminded Alison of their second shared shower in as many days.
"Good hygiene is important," Alison murmured casually, grinning as she slid her hand beneath the hem of Emily's shirt again, softly caressing Emily's skin in the same circles that Emily's fingers were making on her thigh.
Emily enjoyed just laying with Ali on the bed, touching and kissing softly. She knew all it would take would be for her fingers to slip past the elastic of Alison's panties and it would set them both off. They'd be naked in minutes. But she just wanted to enjoy this intimate, but decidedly not sexual, moment with her girlfriend.
Alison appeared to feel the same way because, although she was playfully teasing Emily, she wasn't pushing for more.
"So, what's the plan?" Emily asked.
Alison shrugged. "I have a couple of specific things planned but they aren't until tomorrow."
Alison sat up and looked over her shoulder at Emily, her grin mysterious and seductive as she licked her lips. "I also have a little surprise for later tonight but that will have to wait until bedtime."
"If you spoil me too much I might not let you leave."
"That's the idea," Ali replied softly.
Emily reached to pull Alison back down to her but Ali just laughed and wiggled her way off the bed.
"Hey, come back," Emily pouted, making Alison smile. She was usually the pouter so it always made her heart flutter when Emily tried it.
"I want to see what kind of view we have," Alison said as she slid the glass doors open and stepped onto the balcony. "Em, come out here. You have to see this."
Emily lifted her head and looked toward the balcony. Through the door she could see Alison leaning over the railing, the hem of her dress riding up the back of her thighs as she stretched.
Emily rose from the bed and walked onto the balcony. Whoa, they were high up.
"Ali, don't lean over the railing like that," Emily said worriedly as she reached for Alison's arm.
"This view is incredible," Alison said as she tugged Emily's arms around her waist, pulling her mermaid against her back. She linked their fingers over her stomach and leaned back, feeling Emily's soft breasts pressing against her back. When Alison didn't have shoes on, the height difference between them seemed more pronounced, even though it was only two inches. But Alison didn't mind. She loved being cradled in Emily's arms like this.
Emily dropped a soft kiss on Alison's neck as she looked out at the ocean.
"What's that over there?" Alison pointed to her right.
"The Santa Monica Pier."
"Is that a roller coaster?"
Emily smiled and kissed Alison's temple. "Yeah. They also have an old fashioned carousal."
Alison grinned and pulled out of Emily's arms. "Let's go over there."
Emily laughed at her enthusiasm. Sometimes Alison seemed so young. Others times she seemed older than her eighteen years, the weight of her past aging her faster than she ever should have been. But it was times like these, seeing her carefree and happy, her bright blue eyes shining with mischief and excitement that Emily was once again struck by how truly young they both were. And lucky.
"You should probably wear flats if we're going to do some walking," Emily suggested and Alison just shot her a look.
"Flats would look horrible with this dress. Besides I can wear heels anywhere."
Emily laughed. "Now you sound like Hanna."
Alison's stomach growled causing Emily to laugh louder and Ali to glare. "Shut up. Is there any place over at the pier to eat?"
Emily nodded. "Yeah, they've got a few things. There's a Mexican place down at the end and there's Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., too."
"Ohh, seafood sounds good," Ali said excitedly as she walked back into the room.
Emily followed her in and closed the sliding glass doors. "Are we going to have turkey today? It is Thanksgiving after all."
"The hotel has a full turkey dinner spread in one of the restaurants downstairs but we'll do that tonight. Right now all I can think about is shrimp," Alison said as she slipped her shoes back on.
"Okay," Emily said smiling. When Alison got a craving, there was no stopping her until she satisfied it.
Fortunately for Emily, Alison tended to crave her a lot and all it took was that thought to have Emily shivering softly in anticipation of bedtime later.
"Are you okay?" Alison asked curiously as she walked up to Emily, tilting her head. "You look a little flushed." She reached up and pressed her fingers against Emily's forehead.
Emily shook her head and laughed, grasping Alison's hand in her own.
"I'm fine." She looked at her girlfriend, taking note of her light short sleeved dress. "You might want to bring a sweater or something; it can get chilly down on the pier."
Alison fluttered her eyes as she stepped into Emily's arms, pressing as close as she could, feeling Emily's body heat seeping into her. "Then I guess you'll have to keep me warm."
Emily looked down at her own outfit, her usual casual attire of jeans and button up shirt over a tank top. "I should have packed a jacket. I didn't even think." Emily said but Alison just kissed her chin.
"I packed one of your leather bomber ones in my suitcase."
"You did?" Emily looked pleasantly surprised.
"I threw a couple of your things in my suitcase when you weren't looking because I know what I have planned this weekend and you don't."
Alison pulled out of Emily's arm and walked over to where her suitcase stood beside the closet.
"You're going to put me in a dress this weekend, aren't you?"
Alison grinned over her shoulder as she crouched down and started unzipping her suitcase. "You'll just have to wait and see. Now turn around because I don't want you to see what's in here."
Emily shook her head but did as she was told.
"I also brought one of your denim ones if you want that?"
"No, the leather one is fine. But why did you bring so many of my jackets Ali? It's not that cold out."
Alison shrugged. "I didn't know what one you'd want to wear."
Emily heard the zipper on Alison's suitcase.
"Can I turn around now?"
"Yes," Alison said and Emily turned around. Ali handed her the jacket before slipping a cropped cardigan on over her dress.
Emily shrugged into her jacket and grabbed Alison's hand. "Come on; let's go get you your shrimp."
#################
"That is the best shrimp scampi I've ever had. I think I'm in love," Alison sighed as she and Emily walked out of Bubba Gump's hand in hand.
"With your lunch?" Emily asked as she laughed.
"Don't poke fun, Em," Alison said as she elbowed Emily in the arm, before leaning closer and purring. "There are very few things I love the taste of more than you, but the scampi I just had for lunch comes close."
Emily shook her head. "Come on, let's go on the roller coaster," she said as she tugged on Alison's hand.
Alison looked at her incredulously. "What? Are you crazy? Em, we just finished eating. Do you want me to puke up shrimp on you?" Alison asked laughing, even as she let Emily drag her along.
Emily huffed dramatically but she slowed her pace, letting Alison catch up and press her arm against Emily's as they walked. "Then let's do the Ferris wheel while we let our food settle."
"I don't really like Ferris wheels," Alison admitted sheepishly and Emily looked at her with an arched brow. "I don't really like heights."
"I won't let you fall," Emily said.
"I trust you implicitly to keep me safe, Emily," Alison said drolly. "It's not that. I just don't like being up that high when they stop it. It makes me dizzy."
Emily smiled indulgently at her girlfriend as she turned to her right and started walking back in the direction they came.
"Where are we going now?" Alison asked curiously.
"You'll see," Emily said and squeezed Alison's hand gently, tugging the blonde a little closer to her side.
As the girls walked a comfortable silence fell over them. Alison periodically stopped at the tourist shops that lined the pier. Emily released Alison's hand so she could shop leisurely as Emily just people watched. She'd been to the pier tourist shops before and there wasn't anything in them that interested her.
Alison walked out of one of the shops, shoving a small bag inside her purse. She looked around for Emily but didn't see her anywhere. As she was just about to call Emily's name she felt a hand on her waist.
"What did you buy?" Emily asked as Alison grinned at the sight of her.
"Just a keychain. Most of the stuff in there is crap but I wanted a little souvenir."
Emily slipped her hand back into Alison's and they continued walking.
"Are we going somewhere specific because it looks like we're heading back to the hotel?" Alison asked, hoping she was wrong. She wasn't ready to go back yet.
"Nope, we're going right here," Emily said as she stopped and pointed to the large carousal to her right.
Alison squealed softly and threw her arms around a laughing Emily. She pressed a kiss to Emily's lips before stepping back and tugging Emily inside the building that housed the carousal.
"Are you sure you won't puke on this?" Emily teased as they got in line and Alison stuck her tongue out at her.
"Keep it up and I just may make myself puke just to spite you."
"You'll only be spiting yourself when I don't help you clean it up."
By the time they got to the front of the line, Alison was vibrating with excitement.
"I never knew you liked carousals so much," Emily said as she laughed, wondering how after all these years she didn't know this about the girl she loved.
"There was one at the Cape May County Zoo. My dad used to take me and CeCe on it when we were kids."
The attendant took their tickets and they walked around the carousal. Emily let Alison lead and pick where she wanted to sit. She picked two horses side by side and they climbed on. A small brunette girl with pigtails, who couldn't have been more than five, was struggling to climb onto the lower horse in front of Alison.
Emily watched with breathless admiration as Alison climbed off her own horse and helped the little girl up on hers, strapping her in so she wouldn't fall, before she climbed back on her own horse.
"Thank you," the little girl said as she turned around and smiled up at Alison.
"You're welcome, sweetie," Ali replied before looking over at Emily. Her breath hitched at the tender look in her mermaid's eyes.
"What?" she asked.
Emily just shook her head and reached over to grab Alison's hand. Alison was too far away for Emily to kiss her so she just kissed Alison's fingertips, making Alison smile brightly.
The carousel started but the ride was over too soon for Alison's taste. She begged Emily to go again and Emily couldn't say no to her. This time they found horses a little closer together so that when Alison leaned toward Emily their lips were able to meet in a soft kiss.
"That was so much fun. Thank you, Em," Alison said sincerely. She reached for Emily's hand as they walked out of the carousel building.
"Yeah it was," Emily agreed as they started down the pier again
"Now wasn't that better than the Ferris wheel?" Alison asked.
"I don't know," Emily said casually. "On the Ferris wheel I could have held you and kissed you the entire ride."
"Hmm," Alison hummed thoughtfully. Maybe the Ferris wheel might not be so bad.
Emily laughed because she could read her girlfriend's thoughts on her face.
"Let's go down to the end. There are some benches we can sit on and look out over the water."
Alison nodded and they wound their way slowly through the crowd of people on the pier. About halfway down, just as they were passing a group of four flute musicians, the sound of Emily's name rang out.
"Emily?"
Emily stopped walking and turned. Emily felt Alison's fingers tighten around her own as Paige and another girl walked up to them.
"Paige, hi," Emily said a little stunned to see her ex standing in front of her.
"Hi. Funny seeing you here." Paige looked back and forth between Emily and Alison. "I thought the last time we talked you said you were going to your roommate's house for Thanksgiving."
Emily felt Alison's eyes on her now and her fingers loosened in Emily's, but Emily refused to release them. "Yeah, that was before Ali surprised me," Emily said as she tried to smile.
Paige's eyes slid over to Alison. "Alison," she said only Alison's name as a means of greeting.
"Hi Paige," Alison replied casually plastering a smile on her face.
"Wait a minute," the girl beside Paige spoke up. "Is this the Emily and Alison you told me about?"
Alison's eyes flashed and her smile slipped away. "I'm sorry, but who are you exactly?" she asked, her tone decidedly less casual and a lot more Alison DiLaurentis.
Emily tugged Alison closer, her thumb brushing soft circles on the back of Alison's hand in an attempt to soothe her now clearly irritated girlfriend.
Paige, who had scowled at her friend after she'd spoken, was now looking at Emily as she answered. "This is Bonnie. The…. friend I told you about."
Emily sighed as she felt Alison's fingernails dig into the back of her hand now.
"Hi, Bonnie. It's nice to meet you," Emily said as Bonnie looked her up and down. "This is my girlfriend Ali, but you seem to already know that," Emily said as she looked pointedly at Paige.
"Oh yeah, I know about you two," Bonnie said cryptically.
"Bonnie, stop it," Paige snapped before looking apologetically at Emily.
She and Paige had maintained an awkwardly distant friendship since their breakup last year. Emily had never wanted to hurt Paige, but it had been inevitable. Despite the fact that she cared very deeply for Paige, Alison was the love of her life. At the end of the day there was nothing else to say but that.
When Emily broke things off, Paige had cried and Emily's heart had ached for the girl who had helped mend the heart that, ironically, Alison had once broken.
Both girls agreed that they'd like to remain friends but weren't sure it would be possible. Paige needed space and distance and Emily understood and respected that, but she was saddened when Paige left school not long into the spring semester, deciding to finish her senior year in upstate New York while living with her grandmother.
But the distance was best for her and Alison too as they navigated the first few months of their relationship. Alison knew how deep Emily's feelings for Paige ran and tried her best to be the supportive girlfriend, attempting to hide her own hurt and insecurities from Emily. But Emily knew Alison better than anyone and she knew how much it hurt her girlfriend to see how the loss of Paige had saddened her.
In the end it was as it was meant to be because Emily's heart would always belong to Alison and Alison's heart was Emily's forever.
Eventually, just prior to graduation, Emily had received an email from Paige and the two girls started talking back and forth via email and then the phone. Emily didn't hide it from Alison, but they didn't really talk about it either. It was kind of like Alison's relationship with Noel, only less twisted. But Emily hadn't mentioned to Alison that she'd talked to Paige recently and that was why Alison's fingernails were digging into the flesh of Emily's hand so deep, the brunette wondered if the blonde might draw blood.
"I thought you were going to Disneyland for Thanksgiving," Emily said trying to break the tension, but before Paige could answer, Alison's cell phone rang.
She slipped her hand out of Emily's and dug through her purse to get it. Emily shook her hand discretely to try to get some circulation back.
Alison looked at her screen and a panicked look crossed her face before it vanished, but not so quickly that Emily didn't see it.
Alison looked up at Emily, her eyes unreadable. "Excuse me, I have to get this." She stepped away to answer her phone as Paige finally answered.
"We're on our way down to Disney now. We stopped to see a friend of Bonnie's on our way and decided to grab lunch before we get back on the road."
Emily nodded her head absently as she watched Alison out of the corner of her eye, standing at the railing of the pier that overlooked the beach. She was engaged in a very animated conversation with whoever she was speaking to, but Emily couldn't hear what was being said because she kept her voice low.
"So you didn't know Alison was coming to visit?" Paige asked curiously.
Emily's eyes whipped back to Paige. "No, she surprised me. She was in my dorm room when I got back from swim practice on Saturday." Emily smiled at the memory.
"That must have been a nice surprise," Paige said slowly. "You must be really happy she's here."
"I am," Emily admitted and then startled softly as she felt Alison's hand slip into hers again. Alison's grip was gentler now and Emily looked over at her.
"Sorry about that. It was my dad," Alison said softly.
She was smiling but Emily could still see the confusion and hurt behind her eyes.
Alison tilted her head slightly, her eyes scanning over Paige and the girl beside her. They actually looked good together.
"Are you two dating?" Alison asked.
Paige looked at Emily as she answered. "We're taking it slow."
While Bonnie simultaneously answered, "Yes."
The two girls then looked at one another and Alison saw Bonnie glare as Paige looked flustered.
"Well could this get any more awkward?" Alison asked no one in particular.
Emily shook her head imperceptibly. Leave it to Alison to call out an awkward situation, making it even more awkward. Paige shot a dark look in Alison's direction.
"You're really kind of rude, aren't you?" Bonnie said to Alison, clearly angry with Paige for her reply, and taking it out on Ali.
Alison's eyes narrowed. "No more rude than you were a few minutes ago."
"Well, we should go," Paige jumped in before Alison and Bonnie had a chance to square off. "It was nice to see you, Emily."
"You, too, Paige," Emily replied. "Have fun at Disneyland."
"Thanks," Paige looked at Alison now. "Alison," she said only Alison's name again as a farewell.
"Goodbye, Paige," Alison replied.
As Paige led Bonnie away by her arm, Emily turned to look at Alison, her eyebrow now raised in question.
"What?" Alison asked a little defensively.
"Did you have to say that?"
"What's the big deal? Clearly they have some talking to do." Alison tilted her head as she looked into Emily's eyes. "Seems like we do, too. I'm apparently not the only one keeping things to myself."
"Ali," Emily started to say but Alison tugged on her hand. Hard.
"Let's go find this place to sit before we do this, please."
They walked in silence the rest of the way down the pier, their earlier jovial mood soured now, and Emily led Alison to one of the benches at the end of the pier.
Alison kept Emily's hand in hers as they sat. "I'm sorry I hurt you," she murmured as she brushed her fingers over the half moon indents still apparent in on the back of Emily's hand.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'd talked to Paige," Emily said sincerely. "It honestly just slipped my mind."
Alison looked over at her, her eyes guarded. "I knew you emailed and stuff, but I didn't realize you talked on the phone."
"We don't usually," Emily answered honestly as Alison played absently with her fingers. "She just called out of the blue last week. She said her parents were traveling over the holiday so she was staying in California. She asked if I want to go to Disneyland with her and the new girl she was seeing. She said she wanted me to meet her."
"Why would she want you to meet her?"
Emily shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't ask her. I already had plans to go to Kira's house so I told her I couldn't and the conversation didn't last long after that."
Alison nodded her head but remained quiet.
"Ali, you know there is nothing between me and Paige anymore."
Alison sighed softly and moved closer, pressing her thigh against Emily's. "I know."
"Do you really?" Emily asked, concern lacing her voice.
"Yeah." Alison nodded her head again. "It was just a shock to see her because I thought she was six hours north of here. And then when she said the two of you had talked, I just-"
"Does it bother you that she and I remained friends?" Emily asked but then added as an afterthought. "If that's really what you could call us."
Alison looked up at Emily now and shook her head. "No, Em. I know how much she meant to you."
"But that's in the past," Emily insisted.
"I have no right to be bothered by it," Alison said softly, almost as if to herself.
Emily tugged Alison's hand over to her lap. "That's not true, Ali, but I wish you wouldn't be."
"Her new girlfriend seems like a bitch," Alison said, changing the subject.
"I think she felt intimidated by you," Emily offered.
"By me?" Alison looked shocked. "Why the heck would she intimidated by me? I'm not the one who dated her girlfriend."
Emily smiled. "Don't you have any idea how your looks intimidate other girls. You used to," Emily said thoughtfully. "But that just goes to show how much you've changed."
"Em, that has nothing to do with it. I'm not the goddess her girlfriend was once in love with… is probably still in love with."
"Ali, it's not like that anymore."
"Maybe not for you. But that chick was looking at me like I killed her cat. I'm sure Paige told her I'm Satan's spawn or something."
"Ali, Paige doesn't think that any longer."
Alison looked at her skeptically.
Emily shifted and turned so she could look more directly at Alison. "I know it took her a lot longer to get over what happened between you but she knows how much I love you and how happy you make me. She knows I wouldn't be happy with you if you weren't a good person."
Alison smiled sadly as she squeezed Emily's hand. "You always see the good in everyone, Em. Even when there is hardly any good to see."
"There is more good in you, Alison, than you'll ever give yourself credit for." Emily gently squeezed Alison's thigh. "Look what you did for me this week."
"Some would call that selfish, not good."
Emily leaned toward Alison and gave her a brief but soft kiss.
"I still hate that she ever had her hands and her lips or any other part of her body on you. And I know how that sounds especially right now, because of the whole Noel thing, but I can't help it."
"Ali, feeling like that doesn't make you a bad person. It's how you act on it that makes you the person you are." Emily's eyes softened as she smiled, almost a little sadly. "I just wish you could see you through my eyes."
"Then I would be totally in love with myself and even more selfish than I already am." Alison's tone and smirk lightened the mood and Emily shook her head as she chuckled.
"I'm so in love with you," Emily sighed softly into Alison's mouth as she kissed her again and Alison felt that love all the way down to her toes.
"So is everything alright with your dad?" Emily asked as she pulled back. "You seemed to be having a pretty heated conversation."
"Yeah, everything's fine," Alison said. "He just called to say my acceptance letter from UCLA finally came in the mail yesterday."
Emily's eyes lit up. "Really? That's great, Ali. I knew you'd get in, but I'm surprised it took so long for it to come. I guess I just assumed it had already when you were telling me about NYU and USC."
"Nope," Alison rolled her eyes. "They decided to let me sweat it out a while."
"So have you decided where you're going to go?" Emily asked, holding her breath as she waited for Alison's answer.
Alison nodded her head slowly. "It's not just my decision though."
Emily's brow furrowed. "Who else's decision would it be?"
"Yours," Alison said honestly.
"Ali, I can't make this decision for you. You have to make the choice that's best for you."
"I know the choice that's best for me. But I want to know what choice is best for you."
"What do you mean?" Emily looked confused.
"Em, I don't want to smother you. I know I can be clingy sometimes. I don't mean to be but I just ache for you so much when I'm not with you,' Alison breathed the words honestly. "But I don't want to intrude on your college experience."
"Do you want to go to UCLA?"
Alison nodded.
Emily tilted her head. "What about NYU? That's an amazing school."
"You sound like Spencer," Alison scowled. "I don't want to be on the other side of the country, Em. I want to be as close to you as I possibly can." The scowl dropped from Alison's face and she bit her lip vulnerably. "But I understand if you want your space. I can go to USC. It has a good creative writing program too."
Emily reached up and cupped Alison's face in her palms. "Ali, of course I'd love for you to be at UCLA. How can you even doubt that? I ache for you when we're not together too."
Alison hiccupped and pressed her lips to Emily's as a relieved moan escaped her lips. She opened her mouth when she felt Emily's tongue tentatively requesting entrance. Emily swept her tongue gently inside and another low moan, this one more seductive, escaped the blonde as Emily kissed Alison slowly, leisurely, deeply.
Alison's fists gripped Emily's jacket and she tugged her mermaid closer before sliding her arms around Emily's waist. She wanted to straddle her girl and devour her whole, but it probably wouldn't do well to fulfill Kira's prediction of them getting arrested for indecent exposure.
"Mommy, why are those two girls kissing like that?" The sound of the small voice intruded into their consciousness and Emily pulled back, her lips releasing Alison's as they both gasped for air.
Alison chuckled before looking over at the girl, who just happened to be the same one from the carousal. Then her eyes lifted to see the mother of the girl glaring as she tugged the little girl away by the hand.
"Bitch," Alison muttered under her breath and Emily blinked.
"Ali, you did not just call that little girl a bitch?"
Alison shook her head and scoffed. "No, I was talking about her mother."
"Why?" Emily looked over but the girl and her mother were gone.
"Because she was glaring at us like we were doing something wrong."
Emily brushed some of Alison's hair behind her ear. "Hey, you can't let people like that bother you, Ali."
"But I can call them a bitch when they do," Alison replied matter-of-factly. "Now will you shut up and kiss me again please," Alison purred as she gripped Emily around the waist again.
Emily smiled as she chuckled softly but she did as her girlfriend asked. Alison moaned softly again as their lips met and everything else faded away.
Nothing else mattered except the girl in her arms.
#############
Emily sat on the end of the bed, still wrapped in her towel as she typed a reply to Hanna's text from earlier.
She and Alison had just taken a shower, one Emily had hoped would be a little more fun than it was, but every time Emily tried to let her hands wander to the more pleasurable places on Alison's body, she was thwarted.
Alison was having none of it, only wanting to just wash each other. Not that Emily didn't enjoy it. She loved touching Alison even when it didn't lead to sex, but Alison had been teasing her about her surprise all day. A surprise Emily had yet to get.
"Em," Ali called from inside the bathroom.
"Yeah," Emily called, distracted as she finished her text.
"Are you dressed yet?"
"No."
"Good. Don't bother."
That stopped Emily's fingers on her keyboard and she lifted her head to find Alison standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a smile. In her hands she held a box the size of a shoebox wrapped in silver paper and a pink ribbon.
Emily held her breath as desire pooled deep within her. She tossed her phone onto the chair beside the bed as she stood up.
"You ready for your surprise?" Alison asked smiling as she walked closer, her eyes never leaving Emily's.
When she was close enough, Emily reached out and placed her hand on Alison's hip, just needing to touch her.
Ali," Emily said as she swallowed. Alison could literally leave her speechless sometimes. "You didn't have to get me anything. You just being here is enough."
"This is a gift for me as much as you," Alison said teasingly as she moved to climb on the bed. She crawled to the center of the king sized mattress and sat, crossing her legs, and patting the space across from her. "Come up here."
Emily followed her, still in her towel. She sat across the Alison, mimicking her position.
Alison pouted for a second. "Why didn't you lose the towel?"
"You didn't tell me to lose the towel," Emily replied teasing.
Alison huffed and put the box down beside her. She rose to her knees and loosened the towel around Emily's breasts. She straddled Emily's thighs and sat down as she let the towel fall, revealing her girl's body.
Alison's eyes fluttered as she pressed her naked body to Emily's, sliding her arms over Emily's shoulders as Emily wrapped her arms around her.
Both girls moaned at the feeling of their bodies pressed so intimately together.
"God, I love the feel of your breasts against mine," Alison moaned and she wiggled softly, causing their breasts to brush against each others.
Emily captured Alison's lips in a soft kiss as she pulled her closer. She could feel the heat of Alison's body pressed against her pelvis and Emily's fingers fluttered down Alison's back and over her ass, gripping the soft flesh as they kissed unhurriedly.
Alison tore her lips away and nibbled along Emily's jaw, taking gentle sips of her skin, as she tangled her fingers in Emily's long wet hair.
One of Emily's hands dipped lower and her fingers brushed over Alison, causing to blonde to moan against her neck as Emily smiled. Emily's head fell back as she felt Alison's arousal, warm and wet and it coated Emily's fingers as the brunette caressed her.
Alison bit Emily's neck gently in response and the sting in turn made Emily moan and she turned her face and nipped Alison's ear gently.
Alison lifted her head panting as she rocked her hips instinctively. "Em," she moaned and kissed Emily once more before pulling back, reaching down and tugging Emily's fingers away from her. "Not, yet, baby."
Emily looked at her, her eyes hooded, her breathing just as shallow. "Ali," she groaned softly. "You've been teasing me all day. I'm done with your teasing."
Emily moved forward to kiss Alison again but Alison just giggled softly and leaned back to grab the box.
Her voice lowered seductively as she spoke. "You have to open your surprise first." Alison licked her lips softly. "Then you can punish me for my teasing for the rest of the night."
Alison scooted back off of Emily's lap and Emily sighed as Alison handed her the box.
"Open it," Alison encouraged, smiling almost shyly now.
Emily tore the paper and lifted the cover off the box. She looked down and did a double take as she saw what lay nestled in the paper at the bottom.
"You bought me a vibrator?" Emily asked, incredulous, as she looked up into Alison's face, her eyes crinkling with amusement as she fought, and failed, to hold back a grin.
"I bought us," Alison emphasized the word. "Vibrators. Plural."
Emily lifted the two vibrators out of the box and held them up.
"I take it the pink one is for you?" Emily smiled back.
Alison nodded and bit her lip. "And the purple one is for you. Our favorite colors."
"Are you trying to say you think our sex life needs spicing up?" Emily teased.
Alison laughed, still a bit nervous but the heat in Emily's eyes told her she didn't think the gift was silly at all.
"I think we do okay," Alison said as she reached for the purple one, taking it out of Emily's hand. "But there is always room for more spice."
Emily swallowed thickly. "Where did you get these?"
"There's a sex shop near the airport."
"So you didn't bring them on the plane with you?"
Alison choked out a short laugh. "Can you just imagine if TSA had searched my bag?"
Emily didn't reply. She didn't laugh in response. She just tossed the box off her lap and, with her free hand, grasped Alison's wrist, yanking the blonde against her as Emily's mouth covered Alison's in a desperate kiss.
Alison climbed on Emily again, dropping the vibrator to the bed and shoving her hands in Emily's hair but Emily pushed her onto her back, hovering over her as she kissed her long and deep. Emily slipped her tongue between Alison's lips, their tongues meeting with frantic deliberate strokes.
Alison's thighs fell open as Emily pressed against her and the blonde bucked her hips as her hands touched Emily everywhere she could reach. Emily sat back on her heels and looked down at Alison panting and flushed and beautiful.
Emily turned the pink vibrator on, and the low hum of the motor filled the room. Alison whimpered softly in anticipation.
Not wasting another minutes, Emily leaned over Alison again and slowly circled the tip of the vibrator around Alison's nipple.
"Em," Alison moaned as she arched her back, grasping at the sheets below her.
Slowly Emily slid the vibrator over Alison's soft round flesh, teasing both nipples until they were hard and pebbled.
Unable to resist the temptation any longer, Emily lowered her head and wrapped her lips around Alison's nipple, suckling and flicking her tongue over the hard bud as she slowly and gently ran the vibrator down over Alison's stomach, making the blond shudder and tremble beneath her.
Alison slid her hands into Emily's hair as she panted, her breasts heaving as Emily lavished them with soft, wet open-mouthed kisses. Emily swirled her tongue over the faint bruise still visible on Alison's otherwise unblemished skin. She wanted to mark Alison again, mark her in a place that would be visible for all to see, but she resisted as her lips closed around Alison's nipple again.
Emily dragged the vibrator lower until it was pressed against Alison's clit. The blonde jumped slightly and then Alison pulled Emily's face up and kissed her, whimpering her name into Emily's mouth.
Emily slowly glided the vibrator over Alison's wet flesh. She felt Alison's hips bucking gently against her, silently begging for more and Emily sat back again. Her eyes dropped between Alison's thighs and she watched intently as she swirled the tip of the vibrator around Alison's clit, teasing as Alison wiggled and writhed.
Very slowly Emily slid the vibrator into Alison's body, watching it disappear into Alison's depths and Emily felt her own body pulse and clench in response. Emily began slowly pumping the toy into the blonde.
She gripped Alison's thigh gently as she lowered her head down. She wrapped her lips around Alison's clit and started sucking and flicking her tongue, swirling it in circles.
"Emily," Alison's voice rang out hoarsely above her as Emily began a steady rhythm, sliding the toy deeper with each penetration as her tongue teased Alison's clit mercilessly.
"Deeper, Em. God, deeper, please," Alison begged as her hips bucked against Emily's face.
Alison's fingers clenched in Emily's hair again and she tightened her thighs around her girl's head. Emily smiled. That was Alison's go to move when she didn't want Emily to stop, doing exactly what she was doing, exactly the way she was doing it.
The scent and taste of Alison surrounded Emily and she moaned, licking faster, plunging the vibrator deeper as Alison's back arched. She felt Alison's thighs trembling around her head and then Alison cried out her name as her body froze.
Alison felt her orgasm slam into her as her body clenched around the vibrator, her clit throbbed against Emily's tongue and she swore she saw stars behind her eyelids.
She chanted Emily's name as her body convulsed and jerked until finally she begged Emily to stop. Emily immediately pulled back and lifted her head, smiling up at the blonde beauty that lay panting and sweating above her.
Emily slowly pulled the vibrator out and turned it off before bending her head to press one last sweep of her tongue over Alison's tender flesh.
Alison lifted her head to look down, gently caressing Emily's cheek as she smiled, her eyes twinkling.
"I don't think I want to know how you learned how to wield a vibrator like that, but damn, Em."
Emily laughed and she rose to her knees and moved over Alison. Ali cupped her damp face and pulled Emily's lips in for a soft kiss.
"Mmmm," Ali murmured into Emily's mouth. "I love the taste of me on you."
"Me too," Emily whispered before kissing Alison once more.
Alison's hands lifted and cupped Emily's breasts between them, rubbing her thumbs over Emily's nipples as the kiss lengthened and deepened. Emily whimpered and it made Alison smile.
She pushed on Emily's shoulders and rolled them over so Emily was now resting on the mattress, her long brunette locks spread out on the pillow. Alison pulled her lips away and kissed a soft path over Emily's chin and down her throat.
Alison gently pushed Emily's thighs apart and settled between them, her thumbs still teasing Emily's nipples as her fingers gently squeezed her breasts.
Emily moaned. "I've been aching for you to touch me all day."
Alison smiled as her lips moved lower, down over the soft swells of flesh. Alison took Emily's nipple in her mouth as her hand slid down Emily's stomach.
"Ali," Emily panted as Alison suckled her, first one, then her other breast before moving lower again. Alison's breasts dragged along Emily's body as she moved lower, her tongue swirling over Emily's skin as she kissed a heated path down her body.
She dipped her tongue into Emily's belly button, making the brunette laugh softly. Alison loved the sound of Emily's laugh and loved making her laugh, even during their lovemaking.
Alison's fingertips fluttered over the soft skin of the inside of Emily's thighs. She sat up and shimmied down the bed, reaching for the purple vibrator Emily had dropped beside them earlier.
She titled her head as she looked at Emily splayed out on the bed for her, her lips curving seductively as she slowly turned the vibrator on.
Emily's breath hitched as Alison's heated gaze rolled over her slowly.
Alison lay on her stomach and lowered her mouth to Emily's thigh. She pressed soft wet open-mouthed kisses on the inside of both of Emily's thighs.
"Ali," Emily sighed from above her.
The scent of Emily's arousal surrounded Alison as she softly she pressed the vibrator against Emily's clit. Emily's body tensed for a second, then softened as Alison made figure eights around Emily's clit with the tip of the toy, just barely touching, just barely teasing.
Alison's mouth continued to suck at the skin of Emily's thigh, drawing blood to the surface. She smiled as Emily's hips started to roll as the pressure of the vibrator heated her blood.
Alison released Emily's skin and admired her handy work. Take that, mermaid, she thought, before pressing a soft kiss over the bruised skin. She lifted her head to see Emily looking down at her as she panted.
"You marked me, so I marked you," Alison smiled unrepentantly and Emily reached down and brushed her thumb over Alison's lips. Ali pressed a soft kiss against her thumb before nipping it with her teeth.
Alison slid the toy lower and slowly dipped it inside Emily as she latched on to Emily's clit now, teasing her girl the same way her girl had teased her a few minutes earlier.
Slowly, she worked the vibrator deeper into Emily, sliding it in, and then pulling it back, repeatedly penetrating her soft pink flesh. Emily was wet and warm and her body swallowed the toy more deeply with each plunge.
Alison flicked her tongue against Emily's swollen and throbbing clit before she rose to her knees again, slowly kissing her way up Emily's body once more. Her fingertips took the place of her tongue and teased Emily's as Alison suckled Emily's nipple again.
Alison pressed her thigh against the end of the vibrator. She began rocking her thigh, pumping and pressing the vibrator into Emily with each movement, as she worshiped Emily's breasts with her tongue.
Emily arched her back and pressed down, pushing back against Alison's thigh as the vibrator hit depths inside her that Alison's fingers had never reached.
Emily moaned long and low and Alison lifted her head before lowering herself so her naked body pressed down on Emily's, making both girls shudder with pleasure. She pressed her lips against Emily's ear, purring softly. "That's it, baby, moan for me."
Emily's hips bucked and Alison's thigh pressed harder against her, grinding against her clit while pushing the vibrator deeper. For several long minutes, the room was filled with the soft wet sounds of the vibrator sliding in and out of Emily, mixed with the soft moans and whimpers of the two girls.
Alison pressed her lips to Emily's again, swallowing her soft cries. Emily reached down and gripped Alison's hips, pulling her against her, needing more.
Alison smiled against Emily's lips and rocked her thigh faster, pressing harder, pushing the toy even deeper, yet, into her girlfriend. She knew Emily had never been with a guy, so she had never experienced an orgasm from penetrative sex. And Alison's fingers, as talented as they were at giving Emily pleasure, were not able to reach that deep.
Alison wanted Emily to experience that kind of orgasm, feel that kind of pleasure, not because she wanted to show Emily what she was missing out on but, rather, to show her that Alison could and would be all she needed in every way.
Alison pushed up on her hands, watching Emily's face as she careened closer and closer to the edge. Emily's eyes fluttered open and her eyes met Alison's. Her eyes were full of wonder and surprise and desire and so much love, it took Alison's breath away, and she found herself falling in love with the girl beneath all over again.
Alison jerked her thigh harder. Emily yelped softly and then her body rolled into orgasm as one long intense wave of pleasure rolled over her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her fingernails dug into the skin of Alison's hip and Alison gasped in surprise. Emily's body stiffened, then jerked, trembling and shuddering, beneath Alison, her hips bucking uncontrollably as Alison's fingers rolled her clit gently, keeping her orgasm going on and on.
Emily's body kept quaking and Alison didn't let up, still pushing the toy deeper, wanting to prolong Emily's pleasure as long as possible.
"Please," Emily finally cried softly. "Ali… stop…. I can't…" she stuttered almost incoherently.
Alison instantly pulled her thigh back and pulled the vibrator out of Emily's body, turning it off and tossing is aside. Emily's body sagged onto the mattress, still a quivering mess and Alison pressed soft kisses all over Emily's face as the brunette caught her breath.
"My beautiful mermaid," Alison whispered softly against her skin making Emily smile.
"Wow," was all that Emily was able to say at that moment and Alison laughed softly as she settled her body on Emily's, resting her head on Emily's breasts. Emily lifted her hand and slid her fingers into Alison's golden hair, caressing her scalp, then down her neck, and over her back softly.
"I thought my heart was going to explode in my chest," Emily admitted as she tilted Alison's face up to hers. The blonde smiled widely at her, her eyes twinkling.
"My love," Emily murmured as she pressed a kiss to Alison's lips. The blonde hummed into the kiss as they let the sweat on their bodies cool.
####################
Alison moaned as she took the last bite of her chocolate cake and Emily turned from her spot beside her on the bed as she laughed.
"That moan sounded like the one I made earlier."
"Which moan is that?" Alison asked, smirking. "I made you moan a lot tonight."
"I meant the one when I first lay on the bed this afternoon."
The two girls were currently tucked under the covers of said bed, basking in the afterglow of some pretty amazing lovemaking, as they feasted on the dessert they'd ordered from room service.
Alison put her plate on the nightstand before she scooted down and turned on her side to face Emily, who was sitting with her back against the headboard, finishing her strawberry shortcake. The sheet pooled at her waist and Alison admired her girl's chest.
"You've got really great tits, you know that," she said, wiggling her eyebrows lewdly.
Emily looked down then over at Alison before shrugging. "I guess."
Alison grinned and slid her hand under the sheet to touch Emily's bare hip. "Well I have to say I much prefer the moans you made tonight."
Emily reached down and gripped her hand, entwining their fingers, effectively stopping Alison's assault.
"Ali, I'll never survive if you touch me again right now. I almost had a heart attack earlier," Emily said only half joking.
Alison grinned wider, extremely pleased, but she relented, lifting their combined hands from beneath the covers. She pressed a kiss to Emily's palm.
Emily placed her empty plate on her bedside table and then slid down under the sheet, turning to face Alison, resting her head on the pillow beside her.
She cupped Alison's cheek and kissed her softly. Alison moved closer, and Emily opened her arms, wrapping them around the blonde. Alison wiggled gently as she got as close as she could, making Emily half laugh and half moan.
"Did you like your surprise?" Alison asked as she looked into Emily's eyes.
Emily snorted. "I don't even know how to begin how to answer that without the memory of it making my head explode."
Alison chuckled. "Well that was the idea." Then Alison sighed as her eyes softened. "You make me so happy, Em."
Emily kissed Alison again, a long, slow deep kiss that conveyed Emily's agreement with Alison's words.
"I didn't know it was possible to feel this happy," Emily said as she pulled back.
Alison closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to Emily's chin.
The girls lay in silence for a while, gently caressing each other beneath the sheet.
"So," Emily said finally. "Are we ever going to talk about this medication you're on?"
Alison's body stiffened then she pulled away and sat up. Emily pushed on her hands and sat up beside her as Alison stood up and walked over to her suitcase. She grabbed a short silk robe out of it and tied it around her.
Emily's eyes followed her, watching her girlfriend close off from her, both emotionally and physically, as she hid her body from Emily's eyes.
"Ali, you know there isn't anything you can't tell me."
Alison didn't reply. She just grabbed a plain white tank top from Emily's suitcase and tossed it at her.
"Put that on please. I'll be too distracted if you're naked."
Emily slipped the shirt over her head as Alison asked, leaving the sheet over her waist. Alison climbed back on to the bed, crawling on her knees until she was beside Emily again. She bit her lip nervously and looked like she was trying to psych herself up for something.
Emily tilted her head and reached for Alison's hands, gently grasping them in her own.
"Are you sick?" Emily asked, dreading the answer. If something was wrong with Alison, she wasn't sure what she'd do.
Alison shrugged as her eyes focused on their clasped fingers.
"Ali, look at me," Emily urged as she ducked to try to get Alison's attention. "Whatever it is, we'll get through it together."
Finally Alison huffed and looked up at Emily. "Oh, I don't know why it's so hard to tell you this. It's not like you probably don't know already."
Emily remained silent but the look in her eyes told Alison she was confused.
"I was really depressed after you left in August."
Emily nodded because she knew this. Alison never said anything, but she could hear it in her girlfriend's voice.
"Well my dad finally cornered me and said it was time I sucked it up and talked to someone. He always wanted me to see someone after I came back, but I refused. You know I had to refuse. Then after everything with 'A' was finished and everyone knew most of what really happened anyway, it seemed pointless."
"I always thought it would be good for you to talk to someone," Emily said softly.
"I had you and the girls."
"It's not the same Ali. None of us are trained in psychology."
Ali pulled her hands away from Emily's and her eyes flashed angrily.
"So you thought I needed to see a shrink too?"
Emily fought back the hurt as Alison pulled away but she knew how Ali got when she was defensive. "I think we probably all could have benefited from it. I even told you that but you were so adamant that you didn't need it. I know Dr. Sullivan didn't do much for us when the girls and I went to her, but there are others who might have been able to. There's nothing wrong with it, Ali."
"Spilling my guts to some stranger about things that couldn't be changed wasn't exactly on the top of my list of priorities," Alison snapped then she sighed. She reached for Emily's hand again, her fingers brushing over the back in a silent apology for lashing out.
"Why didn't you tell me how depressed you were? I knew you were sad and missed me. I felt the same, but I didn't realize there was more going on."
"That's because I didn't want you to." Emily gave her a pointed look. "I know that goes against everything we agreed. But I felt really guilty about it, if that makes any difference."
"It doesn't," Emily replied honestly. 'But-"
"You had so much going on, Em. You were settling into school, you didn't need your crazy girlfriend adding to it."
"Ali," Emily started but Alison interrupted her.
"No, let me finish. I just need to get this out." Alison sighed again. "Anyway, I was missing you so much and I was lonely. All you girls were gone and I didn't have anyone, except Noel." Both girls tensed for a second at his name but then Alison continued. "It started to get so bad I didn't want to get out of bed, so I finally gave in to my dad's demands. I didn't like the woman at first and the first couple of sessions, I was difficult and sarcastic. Big surprise." Alison rolled her eyes. "But then she told me to stop wasting her time and if I wasn't going to let her try to help me then I could just not bother coming back."
"Oh, my god," Emily gasped. "What kind of doctor is she? She shouldn't say something like that to someone who came to her for help."
Alison smiled at the indignation in her girl's tone. She wanted to kiss her for it so she did just that.
Emily looked a little dazed when Alison pulled back. "Uh, what was that for?"
"For getting mad on my behalf. But you don't need to. I actually developed a new found respect for her when she said it to me. I figured what the hell. I really didn't have anything to lose. So I told her everything."
"Everything?" Emily asked surprised.
"Well, almost everything," Alison admitted. "I left out a few things that will go with me to my grave, but she got the gist of what happened. It actually felt good to say it out loud, you know. Like it was finally lifted off my shoulders."
"Well, that's good then," Emily said cautiously, wondering where Alison was going with all of this. "You shouldn't have to carry all that for the rest of your life."
"I'll always carry who I was and the consequences of it, Em. But that's okay. As long as I don't forget it, I'll never slip back into the person I used to be."
"I'm sorry you were so depressed, Ali. I wish I had known," Emily said sincerely, the tone of her voice reflecting her remorse.
Alison just shook her head. "No, Em. I didn't want you to. Anyway, once I got that off my chest, I figured it would get better. But it didn't. It's almost like it made it worse. I was getting agitated and aggressive. Fighting with my dad all the time. I started feeling like I did years ago, almost like I was slipping back into 'her' again," Alison said, referring to herself in the third person.
"I told Sarah; that's my shrink's name, what I was feeling and the words spewing out of my mouth were so much like fifteen year old Alison. I was horrified but at the same time it was almost a relief to say it. Like it was bottled up inside me and if I didn't get it out, I was going to implode."
Alison shook her head. Emily needed the entire truth and no matter the consequences Alison was going to give it to her.
"After I freaked in her office, she made me take all these tests. I had to answer all these questionnaires. Pages and pages of questions. I had to get an MRI to make sure there wasn't anything going on in my brain. I never did have that the one I was supposed to after I returned."
Emily looked at Alison sadly. "Ali, I can't believe you were going through all this alone."
"Alone is nothing new for me, Em."
Alison could see Emily's heart breaking at her words and she lifted her hand to the brunette's face. "I'm glad you weren't there to see it. I never want you to see that side of me again. I only want you to see the good parts of me, the parts of me that you love."
"Ali, I love all of you." Emily grasped Alison's hand and held it against her face as she spoke fervently.
"You shouldn't," Alison replied. "Parts of me are really ugly, Em. But I'm working on them."
"Ali, please don't hide from me. I want every part of you. Don't you know by now that nothing could make me stop loving you? Even thinking you were dead didn't stop me. After everything, you have to know I am irrevocably yours and nothing will change that."
Alison felt tears welling in her eyes and she blinked them back. She pressed her forehead to Emily's as she let her mermaid's words fill every empty crack inside her. Emily slid her hands into Alison's hair and gently massaged, finding her scar at the back and stroking it lovingly.
"So, what was the outcome of all your tests?" She asked softly, her warm breath brushing over Alison's face.
Alison sighed and sat back again. "I have something called narcissistic personality disorder."
Emily blinked.
"Yeah," Alison drawled the word slowly. "Not like Nicole Kidman in 'To Die For' level narcissistic personality disorder, but I guess if you think about it logically, it shouldn't be that much of a surprise. You know, I heard my mother tell my father once, not long before everything happened, that I was a narcissistic little brat. Guess she had me pegged, huh?"
Emily frowned softly. "Ali, I know basically what a narcissist is, but what does this really mean?"
Alison sighed, steeling herself as she prepared her reply in her head. "According to the definition my shrink gave me, I actually memorized it so I could tell you. 'Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.'"
Alison let her voice trail off by the time she got to the end.
"Ali, you're not like that anymore," Emily insisted.
"I'll always be like that," Alison replied without hesitation. "But Sarah said what happened to me actually helped me because it knocked me off my self-imposed pedestal. She told me it forced me to learn new ways of coping and viewing myself and others. Who knew being buried alive by my own mother would be one of the best things to happen to me."
"Is that why you're on medication? Does it help?"
"The medication wasn't for that. There are no medications that help, not like other personality disorders. The only thing that treats it is psychotherapy, mainly cognitive behavioral therapy, which I participate in several times a week now."
"Then what are you taking? I saw the bottle in your purse?" Emily asked.
"Did you look at it?"
Emily shook her head. "No, you asked me to wait and I did. It was hard though, not to peek."
Alison laughed softly and tilted her head. "You're a better person than I am, Emily Fields. I would have totally looked."
"So what are you taking?"
"Those are just anti-anxiety meds," Alison offered honestly. "I only take them when I need to, not all the time."
"Are those the ones you were on the night you were out with Noel?"
"No, even though drugs aren't the typical treatment, because I was so depressed, my shrink put me on an anti-depressant. But I didn't like how it made me feel. It made me feel worse, and after the Noel thing, I told her I wanted to stop them." Alison reached for Emily's hand again and squeezed it. "When my dad told me he was going to give me this trip as an early Christmas present, my depression lifted considerably."
Alison dropped Emily's hand and started playing with the tie to her robe. "Now I only take the anti-anxiety meds when I'm feeling really anxious, kinda like now. I took one the other day after our fight about Noel. And I really want to take one right now, but I won't."
"Why are you anxious right now?" Emily asked with concern.
"Because I don't know what you're going to do with this," Alison admitted. "If this is going to change things for us."
"Why would you think it would change anything?"
Alison looked at Emily incredulously. "Because this will never go away, Em. Although it can be managed with proper consistent therapy, there's no cure. And that means I'm going to struggle for the rest of my life with it. It means I'm going to struggle to not manipulate people and situations for my own advantage. It means I'm going to struggle with honesty and empathy. And it means I'm probably going to disappoint you a lot without really even trying. And that kills me. And that isn't what you signed on for."
Emily's eyes flashed angrily for the first time and Alison was a little taken aback when Emily's hands gripped her face, not hard, but firmly. Emily rose to her knees and tilted Alison's head back so she couldn't look away.
"Listen to me, Alison, because I'm only going to say this once. And then we will never speak of it again." Alison could only blink and nod her head. "I am under no illusions that you come with baggage. But you are the love of my life. If there was any doubt in your mind about that before this second, let me clarify." Emily's hands softened on Alison's cheeks but didn't release her face. "You. Are. The. Love. Of. My. Life." Emily stressed each word slowly.
"You being sick would never change my feelings for you. Nothing will ever change them. What I signed on for with you was not the expectation that life would be easy and carefree all the time. It was and is the expectation that we will love each other no matter what, that the lies and the secrets are behind us and that we'll share everything with each other. Good and bad. I'll stand beside you, behind you, wherever you want and need me just like I know you will with me. We just have to trust each other."
Emily took a breath before continuing. "I have to trust you will be honest with me even when you struggle with it. You can even tell me you're struggling with it and I'll understand and believe you." Emily's eyes softened. "And you have to trust that my love for you will not falter just because you struggle or you stumble or you fail. I don't expect you to be perfect. I just want you to be yourself because that's the girl I fell in love with, flaws and all. Ali, you are a good person deep inside. You're beautiful, you're kind, and you're loving. I've always known that. I've always seen that, even when no one else did, not even you. And I will spend the rest of my life, if you let me, showing you that my love for you is unconditional and that this doesn't matter."
Alison was so awed by the conviction in Emily's voice and the fierceness in her tone, and the unyielding firmness of her touch, combined with the love and understanding and acceptance in her eyes, that Alison thought she would burst with gratitude and love.
And she was so freaking turned on at that moment her entire body felt like it would burst into flames.
She hurled herself at Emily, fusing her mouth over Emily's lips. Emily gasped and tumbled backward on the bed. It was a frantic mashing of tongues and teeth as Alison tried to pour into Emily every last emotion inside her. Warm tears slipped from Alison's eyes and fell onto Emily's cheeks as the blonde began to sob, too overwhelmed with emotion to stop them.
After a moment, she tore her lips away and buried her face in Emily's neck. Her body continued to shake with sobs as Emily held her, whispering words of love and comfort in her ear.
Tears slipped down Emily's temples and her heart ached for the girl she held in her arms, the girl who didn't cry in front of others, not even her, the girl Emily loved more than life itself.
What could have been minutes or hours later, Alison's sobs quieted, then finally subsided.
She sniffled. "I got snot all over you."
Emily couldn't help it, she chuckled. "Yeah, I can feel that."
"It's kinda gross," Alison sighed as she pulled out of Emily's arms and sat up.
She looked around and found the cloth napkin that came with their desserts, as Emily sat up beside her.
Alison wiped her face and then Emily' neck before, standing and walking over to toss the napkin on top of the room service cart in the corner.
Emily watched her quietly. Alison's face was red and splotchy but she never looked more beautiful to Emily.
Alison looked over and met Emily's eyes and she smiled softly. Her cry had been cathartic and Emily's words had been a balm for her soul. But now she just felt drained.
Emily stood and held out her hand. "Come on," she said.
Alison took her hand and Emily led her into the bathroom. She watched as Emily filled the large whirlpool tub in the corner, dropping some bath salts the hotel provided into the water. The room filled with the scent of lavender as steam rose from the tub.
"I need to get this snot off my neck," Emily teased softly and Alison crinkled her nose. Emily tugged on the belt of Alison's robe, and then pushed the soft fabric off Alison's body. "And I think we need a bath."
While they'd showered together more times than Alison could count, they had never taken a bath together. Then again they never had a tub like this.
Emily tossed her shirt away and then climbed into the warm water. She leaned back against the end of the tub, and then held her hand out to Alison. Ali took it and stepped into the tub, settling down in front of Emily.
Emily's hands gripped Alison's hips and pulled her into the cradle of her thighs. Alison leaned back and sighed as the lavender soothed her still somewhat fragile nerves.
Emily kissed her temple softly as her fingers caressed Alison's abdomen, while Ali's fingers caressed the outside of Emily's thighs gently beneath the water.
Neither one of them spoke. Neither one of them had to. They just looked out the window beside the tub, watching the moonlight reflect on the Pacific Ocean in the distance.
It was barely an hour later when Alison sank into unconsciousness, cradled in the arms of the one person she finally, truly believed would love her no matter what.