Author's note:
The grade system in Denmark (You are going to need it.):
12 – The highest grade.
10 – The second highest grade.
7 – The third highest grade.
4 - Average mark.
02 – Passed. The lowest passed grade.
00 – Not passed.
-03 – Not passed.
I would like to warn soft souls reading this, because this chapter gets a bit rough. And not in a good way… To my Danish wellwisher thank you for the review. You put a big smile on my face. So thank you for that.
Tell me, what you think…
Udenpå kan ingen se det men det ligger inden i
Du tog noget som for altid ændrede den lille pige
Selvom hun er blevet voksen nu så glemmer hun aldrig dig
Ta' mit ord jeg ved det for den lille pige var mig.
Hun, gik med det alene og
Hun, græd kun skjulte tårer.
Hun, troede hun var voksen nok.
(No one sees it on the outside, but it's within
You took something that forever changed the little girl
Even though she grew up, she'll never forget you
Take it from me, I know, because I was the little girl
She kept it to herself
She cried only hidden tears
She thought that she was grown up enough)
Den lille pige by Anna david
Denmark – April 2015:
"I love you most." Zaccy says, and we say our goodbyes. I hang up and close my eyes. I sigh. In a minute my life has just taken a new direction, which I had not foreseen. Now MM is now a part of NCIS. I had not seen that one coming. But off course both organizations do similar things, and both work with the military – So why had I not seen it coming? I open my eyes and look around in my room. It has not changed a lot over the years – same bed, books, television, movies and so on, but it feels different. It has not changed – I have…
"Mommy, why are you up?" My daughter Valerie asks me. I look at her. She has really grown, since last time I saw her. I have missed a lot of things, when I am away.
"Zaccy called to tell me something."
"Are you leaving again?" She says with sorrow in her voice. That really hits me. I feel like the worst mother ever.
"No, I am not. You do not get rid of me that easy."
"We do not want to get rid of you. We want you to stay." She says and looks at me with her big blue eyes. I feel like I am been hit while I am really done.
"You know I have to go. And you also know that I am always coming back."
"And that you are always leaving us again…"
"I did not know that you feel like that. If I had known, I would act differently. I… am thinking about moving. How would you feel about moving to another country?"
"I do not know. If you are going to do as you do now, then do not move us. But if you are going to something different, do it quickly." With those words my little girl leaves me in shock…
Rosé Hill - July 1999:
I am about to end my second year in Rosé Hill, which I today call it home. I have moved past the anger I felt for my brothers and have realized that they made the right choice. To say I am happy here is a bit too much, but I do no longer hate it with all off my heart. I turned teen about a month ago. I look around and see one of the teachers Claûde. He is from Argentina, and one off my favorite teachers. His is a specialist in languages and teaches normally Spanish and English, but if needed Russian, German and Bulgarian. He is very tall, thin with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen – green and with this super red hair. As he sees me, he says: "Angelus, can I talk with you in private for a second?" I give him a big smile and say: "Off course." Together we go to his office. I am a bit nervous – have I done something wrong? As we go in to his office I am scared. He goes and sits in his chair and nods to say that I can sit down. His office is okay big, gray and without much personal info. Not pictures, postcards only a few books. A bit boring to be honest.
"Relax, you have not done anything wrong. I just want to talk to you about your last paper."
"What about is?"
"Well, to be honest it was a bit… How can I say it? You almost did not pass. I know it may come as a shock to you. But I am telling you, so you can work on it."
"You say I almost did not pass. But it that was the case why did I get 12?"
"You got 12, because I know you have the talent to make it. You are a Pendragon; therefore you need to be an example to other students."
"I have not thought off it like that."
"I know and therefore I am telling you. But you need to work very hard to keep that grade."
"What can I do?"
"I can show you, what you can do." He says and goes towards me. He twists my head, so it is right in front of his. He moves his head closer to my and kisses me. I try to be released from his grip, but he is too strong. I do not like it.
"Let me go. Please let me go." I say and fight so he will let go.
"Ooh not. You are not going anywhere. I am been wanted to do this for so long." With those words he kisses me again. He begins to touch me. I fight harder, but he has a too firm grip. Why is he doing this? I scream as he ribs off my clothing. Claûde hits me hard and says: "Shut up, your little whore. I know you want this." A teacher must have heard my screams, because the school´s nurse came into Claûde´s office. I thought I was safe now, but I was wrong. So wrong. She looks at us and shakes her head.
"Is she giving you troble, Claûde?"
"Yes, she does not seem to understand."
"I will hold her. Just keep doing what you planned. Maybe add some pain that could perhaps teach her, what her place is." The person I thought was going to be my rescuer turned out to be a prisoner. I will spare you for the details, but I can say that Claûde is a sadist who likes pain and gets a lot of pleasure for other´s pain. I learn that you will get good grades, if you do, as you are told. Claûde… took something from me that day, and it took me a long time to figure out what. My childhood had already been taken from me, but he took my innocent both mentally and physical. Barndommen varer ikke fra fødslen til en bestemt alder, og så når den bestemte alder er nået, er barnet vokset og lægger alle barnlige ting på hylden. Barndommen er det rige, hvor ingen nogensinde dør. (Childhood does not last from birth to a certain age, and when the certain age is reached, the child is grown up and lags all childish things always. Childhood is the kingdom, where no one ever dies.) – Edna St. Vincent Millay.